dear journal, 

he never came to lunch, and i needed to go back to my room because michael was getting worried (he is on the room across mine) because i was sitting on luke's door for 3 hours just waiting for him to come out

the thing is - i can't have a roomate. my bedroom has just one bed and i had one - his name was Oliver and he had bipolar disorder. One day he sarted throwing things and beating me up when he was angry. i got scared and he is in a different hospital now, i hope he is okay

i didn't see my blondie today too, he had an appointment and spent the whole day in his bedroom again. i just want to know what have i done

is it my scars?

is the way i look at him?

my ugly face?

my disgusting body?

it's because i'm too annoying?

is my voice really annoying?

i sat in front of the door waiting for him to come outside, but he never came

love,

ash