dear journal, 

today mikey, cal and i ate the cake calum's mom sent. it was delicious, we wrote a note saying thank you and calum said he misses her a lot

i heard michael talking today! He didn't say much, just said he would like luke to sit with us tomorrow at lunch, but his voice is nice and i want to hear him talking more times!

today the nurse discovered my secret blade while she was cleaning, so i spent a lot of time in Mrs.Helk's office. i feel bad because i interrupted her time with my useless crap and i really want to cut. i just wanted to see luke because he makes me feel beautiful and good

talking about luke, i haven't seen him today, he spent the day in his room. I think i heard sobs but it could be my imagination BUT he is singing

he came to me with the sweetest smile

told me he wanted to talk for a while

love,

ash