"She's barely talked to me all week."

Jess is visibly upset, and her revelation only confirms my suspicions.

"I'm not even sure what to do at this point," she admits, swirling the straw around in her glass of sweet tea. "We've never fought before. I don't know how to get through to her."

I remain silent as Jess vents to me, understanding that Jess is the type of person who likes to get her feelings out without interruption. However, knowing this about her isn't the only reason I can't seem to find anything to say. The truth is, I feel guilty. I hadn't wanted to return to this town to wreck havoc on Blake's life, though it seems like that's all I've done for her so far—including her relationship with Jess, who has been her best friend since childhood.

"I've seen her once since we fought," Jess continues, staring at her glass as she watches the condensation drip off of it, "and that was only because I walked in on her while she was packing a suitcase. She's been staying with her parents over the past week. I managed to get a few words out of her before she left. Apparently she invited Dylan over to meet her family and things didn't go well. She hasn't been talking to him much these past few days either."

I raise my eyebrows at this news. I listen as Jess continues to rant for a few more minutes, though she pauses when she notices that I haven't contributed much to the conversation.

Glancing at me expectantly from across the table, she asks, "So? Have anything to say?"

"I'm not sure what you want me to say . . ."

"There's nothing I want you to say," Jess corrects me. "I'm just sick of hearing my own voice. Tell me what you think about all of this."

"You want to know what I think?"

"I know it's hard to believe," Jess retorts, "but yes. I would like to hear your opinion on my ridiculously dramatic life."

"I think . . ." I trail off, trying to find the words I want to say. "I guess I'm just curious as to why you're here with me now if Blake was so upset about you hanging out with me."

Jess's expression turns thoughtful as she purses her lips, gaze wandering somewhere past me. "Honestly? I don't get why I shouldn't be here. You're back in town, and I would rather take advantage of that fact than ignore it. The last thing I want to do is upset Blake, but I also know that she'll get over this. It's a small town. You and I seeing each other is inevitable. Deep down, I think she knows that." Jess opens her mouth like she wants to say more, then seems to think better of it.

"You might as well just say it, Jess," I tease, leaning back in my seat. "We both know you're not very good at keeping your mouth shut."

Jess narrows her eyes at me before balling up a napkin and throwing it my way. I flick the paper away from me with the back of my hand before it can hit me, waiting for her to continue speaking.

A serious expression dawns on Jess's features. "It's just, knowing Blake the way I do, I think she's kind of . . ." Jess trails off uncomfortably.

"Kind of what?" I prompt, unsure of what she's trying to say.

"I don't think that Blake is really upset that you and I have been hanging out. I think she's more jealous than hurt."

I raise my eyebrows at Jess's suggestion, wondering why I'm surprised. Actually, I know exactly why I'm surprised. It's been clear from the last few times I've seen Blake that she doesn't have much interest in being around me, not that I can blame her. But for Jess to imply that Blake is jealous of her for spending time with me, she's insinuating the opposite of my assumptions.

I shake my head to disagree. "Why would she be jealous, Jess?" I question. "You know how she feels about me. Besides, we're adults now. Do you really think Blake would act petty over jealousy?"

"That's exactly what I think." Jess shrugs. "Trust me. I know Blake better than I know myself. That's the problem here: I know how Blake feels about you. The way she reacted to the two of us hanging out only confirmed my suspicions."

"Suspicions about what?" I ask.

"That Blake still has feelings for you," Jess reveals. Her expression is somewhat cagey, as if she feels that she is betraying her friend by admitting the words. I wait for her to elaborate, though she seems to be perfectly content to leave the conversation at that.

I lean forward in my seat again, taken off-guard. As much as I wish what Jess has just said was true, I have enough rationality to know it's impossible. Blake still having feelings for me after everything? It's doubtful. Especially considering that she seems happy with the boy she's currently seeing.

"What do you mean?" I ask like an idiot.

"Look, Noah," Jess starts, "we both know you hurt Blake. I think we've all spent a lot of time dwelling over that fact. But Blake loved you. If I'm being honest, I think you're the first person she ever truly fell in love with. Nobody ever just falls out of love with their first. Deep down, I think everyone remembers the first person they fell in love with, and I don't think that love ever really fades. I think that having you back in town, seeing you interact with her family again, and knowing that you and I are getting along is only forcing Blake to remember those old feelings. Feelings she still hasn't figured out how to let go of."

I take in Jess's words, lost in thought as I contemplate the actuality of the situation. Mulling it over, I can only seem to think of all of the bad that drove me and Blake apart. I find myself recalling the hurt gleam that shone in Blake's eyes when she realized that I was really leaving the afternoon I skipped town three years ago, remembering the stream of tears that had trailed down her cheeks when I turned my back on her for good. I think of all of the calls I'd ignored from her in the months that followed, the texts I never answered, until finally they just stopped coming.

However, as I think over Jess's words, my thoughts shift. Suddenly, I remember what it felt like to have Blake give me that old smile of hers. I remember the lazy afternoons she and I would spend together in my bed or the back of my truck, surrounded in comfortable silence that neither of us felt the need to disrupt, contempt to just be in the other's presence for hours on end. I think about Blake's hand in mine, how accomplished I'd feel to make her laugh, what it had felt like to introduce her to people as my girlfriend.

As the loving memories come back to my mind, I find myself going back to the night I'd walked Blake to her car after visiting with Thorne and Mia at their apartment. Something between she and I had shifted that night, and I think we both felt it. There had been something in the air between the two of us as Blake had broken through her standoffish exterior and offered me that beautiful smile of hers. For a moment, it'd felt as if nothing between us had ever changed.

Is that moment proof that what Jess is saying is true, or am I merely overthinking? Maybe I'm trying to trick myself into believing Jess, as I have to admit that all I've wanted to hear since returning home is that there is a possibility for Blake to return the love I never lost for her.

"So . . . what exactly are you saying?" I ask Jess after a long moment of silence.

Staring me dead in the eye, Jess answers, "I'm saying that there might still be a chance for the two of you. If you're willing to put in the effort, that is. So the real question is: Are you?"

____

a/n: can someone comment something that made them smile or laugh today bc i really wanna hear about something happy rn