I blinked at the dark haired kid in front of us. Trying to process what he was saying. "Grunkle... Ford's ... Son?" I muttered.

"Yes." The boy tried to look past me. "Does he live here?"

"I'll be... Right back." I blinked, and almost closed the door on him before realizing that it was the gift shop. I rushed through the door.

Wow! Ford with a kid! Ain't that something?

But... How?! I thought. He wasn't even in this dimension for thirty years!

So many questions spun around in my head. I skidded into the TV room, where Stan and Mabel were watching Billy the Kid.

"Guys! There's a guy here, and-"

"What is it?" Stan said in annoyance, turning the TV volume up.

"He-he says he's Grunkle Ford's son!" I yelled over the TV.

Stan and Mabel turned their heads to me so quickly I heard Stan's neck crack.

"Ford's... What!?" Mabel yelped.

"You heard me! Sixer, come on, the kid's in the Gift Shop. Shooting Star, we'll get him out, you go down and get Ford. We need him now." Bill ordered. The pair nodded and Stan turned off the TV.

The three of us peeked out from behind the door leading into the Gift Shop. The kid was looking at a stack of post cards on the rack. His duffel bag slung over one shoulder.

"The kid looks like a damn agent." Stan muttered.
"Let's go." Bill ordered.

"Ah, hey! Kid!" Stan walked up to the kid. Zachary.

He turned to look at him, looking confused.

"You're looking for Stanford? I'm his brother, Stanley - Wow, you look... Young." Stan blinked at him. I could see the cogs working in his head. With the time difference this kid shouldn't be younger than thirty at least. So ...

"H-hey, come into the kitchen. My brother should be here in a sec." Stan laughed awkwardly. Zachary looked him up and down before nodding once.

"Not much of a talker, huh?" Stan laughed too loudly. Trying to hide his nervousness. "Let's go then. Hey?"

He led Zachary out. The boy's eyes caught ours as he walked past. I smiled awkwardly.

This kid gives me a bad feeling.

Tell me about it.

Mabel rushed to the vending machine as soon as the two disappeared and hurried down the steps. We waited for her to come up. After four or so minutes she did, with clumping footsteps behind her. Ford rushed up after her moments later. Looking completely dishevelled. Like he hadn't slept in days. With messed up hair and clothes and his glasses hanging crookedly from his nose. He fixed them and as he turned to the door saw us. Bill and I smiled nervously together. Waving awkwardly. His face set into a Stony look and he turned around. Walking to the kitchen.

Well. Good to see he's still our biggest fan.

This is serious Bill

Oh shove a sock in it Dipstick.

Bill took over and, Mabel with us, we headed for the kitchen. And walked straight into a scene from a soap opera.

Zachary was standing, staring at Ford. His jaw was set and his face had no emotion. Ford just stared at him with a calculating look.

And Stan was standing awkwardly to the side, shifting from one foot to the next and looking like he'd just swallowed a Gnome's bathwater.

"Are you Stanford Pines?" Zachary asked Ford.

"...yes. yes I am." He said slowly.

"My name is Zachary Pines, my mother is Matilda Crawford, and I'm your son." He said slowly, like he'd rehearsed this a million times before.

Ford frowned.

"How old are you?"

Zachary looked a bit taken aback by the question. "I'm... Seventeen." He said.

Ford sighed, although whether it was from relief or irritation no one knew. "Then I'm not your father. Kid. I've been... Far away for thirty odd years."

Zachary stared at him, "no... Impossible! I tracked you all they way here! You met my mom in Vegas, seventeen years ago! You got married there! I have pictures!"

Stan was looking very uncomfortable.

Heuheuheuheuheuheu. I think Fez's hiding a dirty little secreeet.

Dipper blinked. Then looked from Stan to Zachary and back.

No. Way.

Oh. yes. Isn't it just delicious?

That's impossible...

After all this time, you think that is more impossible than sharing a body with a demon?

Ok your right. It's incredible.

Ford seemed to have clicked to. He turned slowly to Stanley. His expression dark and dangerous.

"Stanley?"

"Yes... F-Ford?"

"Did you, by any chance, get married using my name?

"Y'know. I do recall... At some point... Possibly getting .... Married at some point... In time..." Stanley said. His face a bright red.

"To whom?"

"To... To a fine... Young lady.... Named ... Matilda...?" Stan flinched from the look on Ford's face. Dipper wasn't surprised. He'd been on the receiving end of that look for a while recently.

"How long ago Stanley?" Ford asked, his voice dangerously calm.

"S... sbleven...teen..." Stan muttered.

"Sorry?"

"I said seventeen alright! Jeesh! Fine!" Stan yelled. Then flinched, looking at Zahary. He waved nervously. "H... Hey kid... So... I'm your Dad..."

"Is this the part where one of us faints?" Bill asked, a wide smirk on his face.

"Dude I am so on it." Soos said from the window next to them, making Dipper jump. He hadn't even noticed he was there.

Soos dropped backwards out of sight. And was gone.