Chapter XXIX

JOEY, WITH HER CHIN to her chest, scanned her sleeping companions. They rested peacefully on the thick branches above, below, and to her sides. She stared at Alex watching his chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm, and she envied his sleep. She felt tired, but at the same time, like sleep couldn't come. Not with all the voices racing through her mind.

Her cheeks suddenly flushed as she felt a familiar warmth against her chest. Shifting her eyes down towards her crossed arms, she quietly lowered them an inch or two from her chest—afraid her jackets nylon would make noise as the sleeves rubbed—until the top of her fathers compass peeked her view. Slowly, she reached down and picked it up, caressing it in her palms as she stared at its gentle glow.

"Monster!"

She jerked her head up, startled by the voice. Frantically glancing around to find the source, she found that no one had stirred. Gazing back down at the gold metal in her hand, an image flashed through her head.

She scooted away from her friends as they glared at her. "You're a monster, Joey!" Alex shouted.

She grasped the compass tighter in her grasp as her hand began to shake, and she couldn't draw her eyes away from its glow as another image played out before her eyes.

She stood before David, condensation pouring off him as rage etched his features. "Please, David! Help me!" she cried out, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Don't give up on me yet."

Unexpectedly, David swiped a hand through the air, and the back of his hand came into contact with her cheek in full force. Her body was swung to the side from the blow, and her palms smacked the white, powdery ground. Reaching up with a shaking hand, she felt the sting on her cheekbone as tears welled her eyes.

He leaned in close, the hair on her ear standing as she felt his cold breath."You're nothing but a monster, Joey," he whispered. "Like one of the putrid creatures Agcorp created."

Gasping, she shot up straight and releases the compass that had felt glued to her hand. She jerked her hands down to her side and her fingernails dug into the bark as she shook violently. Gulping, she recognized her quick breathing and started taking slower breaths. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, shivering as bumps rose along her skin under her jacket.

From the corner of her eye, she eyed David and Alex. The people that had called her friend. The people she thought would stick by her now called her monster. A part of her wanted to deny it, but after what she had done ... to Chase, Kathleen, Alex, and Evangeline ... denying it was just foolish. All these things were just signs that pointed to one thing. Signs that proved that she would never beat the darkness and eventually it would change her into what her friends would one day call her to her face. A monster.

"Trouble sleeping?"

Her heart lurched and she jerked her head towards the voice to find Thomas sitting on a branch across from her. Leaning against the bark, he sat there with his arms crossed and eyes closed, his legs extended, one overlapping the other. A small smile pulled at the corner of his lip. "I can tell something's on your mind."

She rolled her eyes. "Your ability tell you that?"

Thomas snickered. "No." He heaved a sigh and twisted his neck to eye her. "I couldn't sleep either and just happened to notice you were awake." He paused. "So ... why are you awake?" She averted her gaze and heard the swooshing of his jacket as he moved. "You know you can tell me. I'm not going to, like, judge you or something." She looked back over to find him now sitting towards her with his feet dangling over the side of the branch. "It's the compass, isn't it?"

Gritting her teeth, she looked down and was angered too see her hand clasped around the compass. She hadn't even noticed she was touching it. Sighing, she looked back at him. "I'm losing myself," she said lowly. "You saw what I did." She paused and looked back down at her fist still around the compass. With desperation, she admitted, "I don't know if I can win this fight like I thought I could."

"That's nonsense!" Thomas whispered roughly. "You just have the wrong person guiding you. Lucinda is not that person. She wants you to wield the darkness!" He trailed off. "But someone like your friends can help you keep it in check and control it so what happened to the others never happens again."

Slowly, she opened her fist and her eyes fell on the majestic compass surrounded by the gentle glow, and the warmth of the metal on her skin made her connection to the object feel stronger. "That's not what I'm afraid of," she whispered.

"What?" Thomas asked, sounding as if he hadn't heard her.

She looked up at him. "I'm know Lucinda wants me to use the darkness for her," she continued, "but that's not what I'm afraid of."

He arched a brow. "Then ... what are you afraid of?"

She felt tears prick her eyes. "I'm afraid of who I'm going to become." She shook her head. "Already, with this thing around my neck, I feel more and more lost as time goes by. That the ability this thing possesses is trying to drain who I really am and replace me with something else. Something ... much darker."

"Then why don't you let us figure out a way to cut it off?" he asked, tenderly.

Tears blurred her vision. "Because I've tried," she whispered. "I've tried to be strong enough, but whenever I thought about asking for help, it changed me." She slammed her head back against the bark. "It's like I can't tell the difference between right and wrong anymore." Staring at the compass shinning brightly in the moonlight, a sudden surge of power coursed through her veins and she grinned. She liked the strength and courage that fueled her and the thought of letting it pass from her into someone else's hands made her angry.

"Joey? You okay?"

She felt heat rise in her eyes as her anger grew along with the heat of the compass. The metal continued to grow hot until she could no longer keep it in her palm. Her flesh began to singe and she winced as her arm glowed the same shade of pink emanating from the compass. She gritted her teeth and balled her burning hand into a fist as a bolt of pain slowly crept up her arm, intensifying as it reached her bicep. Her eyes traced the pink zigzagged streaks of lightning that pulsed through her veins.

"Joey?" She looked up and eyed Thomas as he gripped the edge of the branch with an anxious gaze.

Instantly, the pain in her arm vanished and she panted, flexing her arm and rotating her wrist. She glanced down at her arm before back up at Thomas, who was now crouched and sitting on his heels, looking like he would spring to her branch at any given time.

"I'm fine," she said through a puff of air.

"Please tell me you saw that!" Thomas pleaded with wide eyes. "The pink lightning?"

She looked at him perplexed. "You saw that too?"

Strangely, Thomas smiled. "Yes!" He slapped a hand over his mouth as he looked to see if he had woken anyone before talking more quietly. "I saw it earlier too, but no one else could."

Raising a brow, she glanced back down at her hand seeing it emanating that gentle pink glow. She suddenly felt what little energy she had drain from her body, and her body toppled forward like jelly. She quickly regained a little strength, and gripped the branch with her shaking arms before she could tumble from the tree.

Thomas suddenly landed on her branch in front of her and it shook uncontrollably from the sudden weight causing her hand to slip. She nearly fell to the side, but Thomas grabbed her bicep firmly holding her steady.

Slowly, her strength returned and she rolled herself upright. "I'm okay," she said weakly, the strength in her voice still gone.

He shook his head. "No, you're not. That compass is getting heavy, physically and mentally. You need to let us cut it off!" Her eyes shifted to his as she glared at him, and he sighed. "But I know you can't." He shifted to his bottom and pushed his legs over the side. He then gripped her hand tenderly in his. "Come on. Let's take a walk."

She glanced down from his hand in hers up to his concerned look with a quizzical glare. "Thomas, I said I was fine."

He smirked. "Scared I'm going to try to kill you again?"

A grin unexpectedly tugged on her lips, but she quickly disposed of it. Firmly gripping his hand, she gave a nod before glancing down at the snow below. "Guess we get down the same way we got up?"

Thomas turned his head towards her and smiled. He gave a wink before slithering down to the lower branches, his hand slipping from hers as she let go. One limb at a time, he made his way to the ground until he reached a branch about ten feet off the ground. Hunched in a squatted position, Joey's heart lurched as he lept.

Her jaw opened and she nearly shouted his name, but kept silent to prevent from waking the others. She watched him, anticipating a cry from an injury, but to her surprise, he landed in the snow on his feet, rolling in a somersault before flopping to his stomach; a trail of snow sprung in the air following his rough movements. She waited, her heart pounding as she stared at him lying still in the snow, but a second later, he swung himself around and his eyes wondered to find her amongst the tree. With a smile, he gave her a thumbs up, snow clinging to his clothes and hair. A soft sigh of relief escaped.

Thomas clambered to his feet in the thick snow, and held his hands out. He swung his arms in an inward motion from her to him before holding his hands out as if to say, "Jump! I'll catch you!"

She smirked and rolled her eyes. He most certainly wouldn't catch her. Looking directly below her, part of her was afraid of the fall while the other part of her was thrilled by the excitement. She maneuvered her way through the tree down a few of the limbs before reaching one slightly above where Thomas had jumped from. With a wide grin, she pushed herself from the branch and plummeted. The wind rushed through her hair and clothing, and as the ground swiftly approached, she made sure to land on the balls of her feet. As her boots made contact with the white pillow, she collapsed her legs and rolled to avoid any potential injury. Coming to a stop on her back, she stared up through the spruce trees.

Thomas leaned over her and chuckled. "Fun, wasn't it?"

Joey grinned and arched a brow. "Yeah ..." She said, drawing the word out. "But how'd you know we wouldn't get hurt or die?"

He gripped her hand and hoisted her to her feet. Shrugging, he replied, "Had a hunch, I guess. The snow looked soft enough."

She squinted, gazing at him skeptically. "Uh-huh, and you could just tell that?"

He rolled his eyes, but couldn't keep the grin from tugging at his lips. "Alright, I grew up in Neoplin."

Her eyes widened with astonishment. "The snow city?" She almost couldn't contain her excitement. "I've always wanted to visit Neoplin! I've moved to eleven over the years, but that one was always too far for the Underground to reach. It's literally the only city in the world with snow."

"Yeah, well it's not all it's cracked up to be," Thomas replied, extinguishing her joy. "Neoplin was just like any other city. Controlled by Agcorp, forced to endure strict laws ... but our death toll was higher." She furrowed her brow. "Too cold," he explained. "Without a proper heater, many didn't survive. Mostly the elderly or young children." He rubbed his palms on his pants. "Like my grandparents who gave up living on the middle level of the city so their young grandchildren could survive. In the Slums there are no heaters, and they weren't allowed to move in with anyone on higher level ... Even if they were family."

She gazed at him blankly, strangely not feeling the sympathy towards him that she knew she should have. "Wow, that sucks," she said in a failed attempt to be compassionate.

Thomas shot her a glare. "You know, I get you're struggling against literal darkness, but you could at least pretend to care."

She shrugged. "I thought I was?"

He pressed his lips into a thin line. "Never mind. Let's just walk." He trudge forward through the snow, and Joey glanced back up into the trees and could see many, but not all, of the others sleeping. Even Michelle was sound asleep, and Joey wasn't sure how she hadn't heard all the commotion.

They walked in silence for a while until Thomas broke the stillness of the night. "So, you sure you don't want to tell me what was going on earlier?" Joey turned her gaze up at him, and he playfully elbowed her. "I'm all ears." He gestured around him. "Who am I going to tell?"

"Uh, Bellamy," she answered blankly.

He looked at her, playing offensiveness. "I wouldn't betray your trust like that." She shoved her hands into her pant pockets. "Come on, I know how it feels to have to hide. You never know, it might even feel good to get some of that pressure off your chest."

She frowned and lowered her gaze, unsure of how to even explain what she had seen. "I—" An unexpected image popped through her mind of David leaning over her, his neon blue eyes burning with an azure fire, and his ice cold words rang clearly. "You're nothing but a monster, Joey."

A sudden rise of hatred filled her, but when Thomas's hand slipped into hers, that anger quickly melted. "What is it?" he asked, the true desire to understand ringing in his tone.

She looked up and gazed into his ocean eyes. Strangely, she found herself believing that she could trust Thomas more than anyone. Definitely more than Michelle or Lucinda, but more then Alex or Ella? More than David? As she stared into his eyes, she felt like she barely knew him, but that Thomas already knew too much about her.

She sighed and looked at her boots that sunk into the snow. "It was my friends," she whispered. "They were angry ..." Trailing off, her voice grew softer. "And they stood around calling me a—" The word got caught in her throat. "A monster."

"You're not a monster, Joey. Just someone who needs help." She returned her gaze. "Do you think there's a reason why they'd say that? Was it because of your ability?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. And I don't know whether it was a vision or if it was—" She cut herself off, unable to say the words.

"The compass?" Thomas finished for her. "You think it was the darkness?"

She glanced down and heaved a defeated sigh. "I don't know."

"What do you think we should do about it?"

Her heart grew cold against him and her brow creased with anger. Slowly, she twisted her head back in his direction, and questioned, "Do about it?" She yanked her hand from his. "Like, you mean cut it off."

"Well ... I do think that would be the best decision ..." He trailed off and sighed, placing his hands on his hips. "Look, I can kinda understand where you're coming from." He tapped on his chest. "Bellamy, Caleb, Ivory ... they're the only people in my life who haven't thought of me as a monster, but guess what? In the eyes of Agcorp and the world, we're all monsters."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "No, Thomas, you don't understand." The heat in her eyes returned as she balled her hands into fists. "My own mom called me a monster because of what happened to Vincent and my dad. I know she's tried making up for ever saying it, but ..." A surge of energy formed in her hands. "Do you know how that feels? To live day to day knowing that the woman who gave birth to you sees you as nothing more then a murderer?" She screamed her last word, and as she did, her daggers appeared in her hands in their unfamiliar pink glow.

Thomas held out his hands at waist level. "You'd be surprised. At least she's done everything she could to protect you when she could've turned you in." Her hands relaxed a little at his outburst, and she waited for him to continue, intrigued by his comment. He lowered his hands and went on. "My dad used to call me a freak on the daily. Said that if the chance ever came, he'd get rid of me." He snickered and looked to the side as he scratched his nose with his thumb. "The details are a little hazy, but I guess an opportunity came knocking when he left me on Agcorp's front door. I was three, and he just left me. He didn't want any money, any glory, nothing."

"How did Agcorp not get to you?" Joey asked, impatient.

He smiled. "Bellamy's parents found me before Agcorp did. That's how we became best friends." He looked down and kicked at some snow. "Mom found out, of course, and Dad never came home. She assumed that Agcorp must've seen our faces so Mom and I, along with the Parish's, took refuge with the Underground until they could move us from Pithrum to Neoplin."

"Pithrum?" Joey exploded in awe. "I've heard interesting stories about Pithrum."

"Oh yeah?" He crossed his arms, and looked up. "Pithrum is where the cure for Ignisha started before being moved to Walser. It was in Pithrum that Claire experimented on the virus for three years as the other cities were being finished."

Joey stared at him quizzically. "I heard rumors that the real Pithrum was destroyed by Ignisha about sixteen years ago, but they built a new Pithrum without anyone knowing. They even mixed the maps of all thirty locations so no one would ever notice."

He cocked his head. "What are you talking about? As far as I've ever known, there's only ever been one Pithrum, and never any rumors."

Her mind suddenly fogged as memories that didn't feel like her own filled her thoughts, and she looked down with her brow bent in confusion. "No ... No, something isn't right." She placed two fingers on her right temple. "It's like I ... remember seeing Pithrum fall. Overran by the virus."

"But how is that possible? You ever been to Pithrum?"

She shook her head. "No, but if you're saying you were born in Pithrum then ..." She glanced up at him, her heart racing. "That city was destroyed by Ignisha. Anyone born in that city should've died. Everyone except the people Claire was using as experiments."

Thomas chuckled uneasily and took a step back. "Joey, I won't lie. You're, uh ... You're kinda scaring me right now. Are you ... Are you trying to imply that I was one of Claire's experiments, and I just don't remember it?"

She grinned and crossed her arms. "That is what I'm implying, or else you should be dead."

"Where is all this even coming from?" Thomas asked, shock filling his voice. "How would you know any of this?"

She felt her shock and frustration rapidly change to pride. She tapped the compass dangling directly above her heart and it gave off a bright glow from the nudge. "You'd be surprised the kind of knowledge this thing has packed away in here."

Thomas shook his head and he balled his hands. "No, I won't accept that. I'm not going to let some darkness tell me that everything I was taught growing up was some lie. If you ask me, that's the thing we should be doubting!" He jabbed a finger at the compass. "It's controlling your thou—" His eyes suddenly darted past her and he shouted with an opened palm, "David, don't!"

Joey flung herself around and stepped back, barely missing David's hand that reached for her neck. David growled in defeat and pumped a fist through the air.

"David, what the heck?" Thomas shouted, shoving David away.

"Are you just gonna stand there instead of help me?" David screamed.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

David threw a hand towards Joey. "Look at her, look at her eyes!" Thomas glanced her way. "I heard you two talking. Would you just admit that we're losing her and help me?" His fists shook in anger.

"Are you going to kill me?" Joey asked, aggressively, drawing both the boys attention. Her fist was clenched around the item dangling from her neck. "Because that's the only way you'll ever get the compass."

David gritted his teeth. "Ugh, Joey, you're not even listening to yourself right now! Why can't you see what it's doing to you?"

Without a second thought, her words spilled from her mouth blankly, "If you try to convince me to cut it off one more time I will kill you." Smiling, she shrug, "Or maybe I'll let you try to take it. Remember what happened last time?"

She watched as David's eyes softened, but his jawline remained tight. "I would rather die trying to get that thing away from you then to have it turn my best friend into some ..." He trailed off seeming to search for the right word. "Some ... monster!"

The heat that lingered in her eyes ramped up as she thrust a hand forward. David suddenly let out a yelp as his body was flung in a one eighty, and he hit the ground clenching his left tricep. He withdrew his hand to find his palm coated in blood, and he looked up at Joey in shock.

"Joey, what are you doing?" Thomas asked, taking a step towards her. "We were finally getting somewhere, remember? Don't let David ruin that."

She waved her other hand over her shoulder, and an invisible force shoved Thomas backwards into the snow. "Stay out of this, Thomas. If you're the only one who will ever understand me ..." She turned her head around and glared at him. "Then people like us ... monsters like us have to stick together, and rid the world of people like him."

Turning her head straight, she flicked her hand forward again, and David twirled to the opposite side releasing another cry of anguish as he now gripped his other arm.

"Joey, stop!" She kept her hand out, feeling its power flood through her palm, keeping Thomas from being able to stand. "David's your friend!"

"He betrayed me!" She jabbed her hand through the air again, once more twisting David to the other side with a gut-wrenching scream.

"Joey, this isn't you talking," Thomas tried reasoning. "It's the darkness. You have to fight it!"

"Why should I?" Her head flung around to face him. "It's freeing!" she chuckled. "I don't need to be afraid of being called a monster if I just embrace that I am one."

"You claim to be a monster ... but that's not what I see," he said softly, and unexpectedly, she felt his words tap her heart. "You wouldn't have risked your life to save David from the Nokida's poison if you didn't care." Gazing at Thomas's gentle expression, she let her arms lower a tad.

"I've kept my ability a secret for five years." Her head twisted forward as David's words reached her ears. He laid in the snow panting, blood seeping from the gashes along his arms. "If I didn't care about you, why would I risk everything by showing you who I really was?" He paused, catching his breath. "I'm just trying to save my best friend."

Joey's hands dropped to her side as her anger faded, but she still felt the power coursing through her veins and the heat in her eyes remained. "I don't know how to control it," she said, clenching her fists. "It's too powerful."

She felt a strong hand grip her shoulder tenderly and turn her towards them. Even through her anger, she could feel tears prick the corners of her eyes. "First, you find a way to calm down. Then you let us help you, and I mean really help you."

Letting out a sigh, she nodded and a tear dripped down her cheek. "Alright."

"I'm sorry, Joey." She turned aside to find David slowly rising to his feet. "But I have to stop you. If I don't, next time it may be my sister's life on the line."

Thomas quickly pulled Joey behind him. "Wait a minute, David. We have a plan. We can figure this out."

David shot Thomas a glare. "Move ... aside." When Thomas didn't, a sword made entirely from ice appeared in David's hand, the tip puncturing the snow. "I won't ask again. I'll sleep better knowing we got rid of that thing for good."

"We all will!" Thomas said calmly. "So let's figure out a way to do that togeth—"

"You don't get a say!" David argued. "You're not her friend like I am. You don't care about her like I do."

"I care about her enough to not see her dead!"

David raised his sword into the air, and what looked like out of reflex, Thomas raised his arms in front of his face for protection, but David didn't use his sword. Instead, he rammed into Thomas's shoulder, and the older boy collided with the snow on his side.

For the first time in a while, Joey felt pure fear as she stared into David's icy blue eyes. "David ... please," she whispered in a tiny plea.

"I'm sorry, Joey," he said, standing tall and confident. "But things will be better after this."

She tried to re-summon the darkness and force David away, but she wasn't fast enough to bring it back.

"David, wait!" Thomas shouted.

David yanked out a small glass bottle containing a vibrant shade of purple from his pocket. He popped the cork and whipped the liquid from the bottle onto Joey's face.

She closed her eyes as the liquid met her skin, and she licked her lips. With a heavy sigh, she looked up at David and the familiar rage burned in her eyes. "Really, David?"

"No." His eyes opened wide in disbelief, and he dropped the bottle to the ground. "That should've worked. She said it'd work."

Joey laughed. "You think a little water is gonna hurt m—" An unexpected sting filled her chest, and she winced feeling a second rhythm pounding wilding against her breasts. Her hands flew to her chest, and immediately her eyes widened when she noticed her hands pulsing with pink streaks of lightening that raced up her arms.

She gritted her teeth as an unbearable pain erupted throughout her torso, and a bright burst of light erupted from her body. Her legs instantly grew weak and buckled underneath her. She collapsed to the ground, but the snow cushioned her fall and her head smacked against her arm.

Snowflakes became distinct lying inches in front of her eye, and through darkening vision, she watched as Thomas dashed her way while shouted her name, but it sounded distant as her eyes closed and she released a final breath.