This story is going to be based on what Namjoon and Jimin were talking about, so if you can't deal with a closed-off RM, I suggest you don't read this.

I will also be deep-diving into what I think RM went through all last year up until his enlistment.

I would like to mention that this is basically going to be Namjoon's diary and what I think he wrote in it so the description of body language will be limited

Another warning: with what Rm went through last year, you will get the sense that Rm might be all over the place so if I seem to say something that you don't think is RM right.

There will also be some strong language and references to death and wanting to die.

Anyway, I know I ramble a bit more than usual, but I really wanted to empathise to make sure people understand.

If you have read my works before, you know how I write, but this is for those who might not have seen any of my work.

Anyway, shall we get on with this?

I hope you enjoy it, and remember, it's just fanfiction.

A/N: I did have an actual cover but it was the Lost posted and I don't think Wattpad likes it so for now my cover is basic.