Namjoon's prov

Dear Diary It's June and I'm so sad right now. Rap Mon's gone, and I feel like I'm alone, and after the last live, I feel like I'm disconnecting with my fans.

I don't know, maybe I should be more patient. Mom always said that you might be the smartest person in the room, but don't go acting like you know it.

Wow, that just brought back memories. I remember the first day of kindergarten she said. "Namjoonie, it's okay to be smarter than everyone else, but you can't go around telling people."

Anyway, I should get back to work.

August

Dear Diary I finally told the Army about Rap Mon; they seem upset; they keep uploading pictures and messages. I like it, but it also makes me feel bad.

It also turns out they think I'm sad; it doesn't matter what I say.

Ahh, I just want to be done with my solo and the military, then everything will fall back into place, right?

August 30th I am so upset and angry right now. How dare they accuse me of insulting someone's religion?

I thought these people were supposed to be my fans, but if they can be like this , then I'm done.

Ah man, maybe it's me. Maybe I need to stop sharing things with the Army. I don't want to, but I feel like I have no choice.

Ah, I feel like nothing I do will please anyone if they want to talk about Heaven and Hell. I feel like my has been taken.

Oh that gives me an Idea.

Take my Heaven cause you ain't inside if that's your delight come ruin my vide.

Take my Heaven.

Take my heaven, oh, you ain't invited.

Go grab your knife and watch me collapse.

So take my heaven.