Lilly's POV

It's been two months since we went to see Nathan's friend Mike. There has still not been anything that has come up that matches me. I'm beginning to wonder if anyone is out there looking for me. It makes me sad to think no one misses me. We have another doctor's appointment and she said we may be able to find out what I am having. Nathan has been wonderful. He is always asking if I'm okay or if I need anything. The other day I was complaining about my back hurting and he went and ran a hot bath for me with bath salts and bubble bath. He will run at any time to get whatever I am craving. He is just too much and I think I might be falling for him.It scares me. I don't know if there is someone out there that is looking for me but each day I lose that hope and each day I fall more and more for him.

"Are you ready to go? We need to leave in a few minutes if we want to be on time."

I hear him call up the stairs. I quickly look for my shoes and slip them on. These days I look for comfort since it's hard to bend over. I grab my purse and head down.

"I'm coming. Had to find my comfy shoes."
"Shall we go then? Are you excited to see what you are having?"

"I am excited to know. I hope Dr. Weslynn will be able to pick it up."
We head out to his truck and he helps me climb in. He pulled out of his driveway and we drove to the doctor's office. The ride over there was quiet. I am lost in thought staring out the window as I think about my future. My past is slowly making its way back into my mind. I keep having this dream about this man whom I believe is my fiance. I have had so many of them where he was killed. I am beginning to believe that he is no longer alive. It scares me to think about raising this child and he or she never knowing his real father. I don't even know anything about him. Will I ever know anything about him? I am lost deep in thought when I feel a hand rest on my thigh and a gentle squeeze. I look down and then look over at him. Nathan quickly glances over at me and our eyes meet for a few seconds and he looks back at the road.

"Are you okay, Lilly? I seemed to have lost you for a bit. Where did you go?"

"Just thinking."
"What were you thinking about, you looked worried."
"Nothing much."
"You can talk to me. You can tell me anything."
"It's been two months. There hasn't been anything found and I am no closer to who I am."
"Don't stress about it. It may take months or years for you to remember. I told you I've got you no matter what."
We pull into a parking space and he looks me in the eyes. I can see a sparkle in those eyes and I get lost in the blue. Those gorgeous eyes and I see the sincerity deep within them. How can he be so sweet and caring to someone he barely knows, who he found wandering down a road and knows nothing about herself. Could there be bad people looking for me? If my dreams are real, there could be. I worry about his safety now. Could he be in danger knowing me?

"It's nothing really. Let's go inside."
He squeezed my thigh in understanding and I am glad he didn't pressure me to tell him. We walk inside as he places his hand on the small of my back. A warmth radiates from his hand across my body. I check in and go sit next to him. It wasn't too long before we were called back to our room. The nurse gets my weight and vitals before we go in and once we are sitting in our room the nurse tells us the doctor will be in soon. We sit and wait. After about ten minutes the doctor walks in.

"Good morning, Lilly. How are you feeling today?

"I'm feeling okay today."

"That's great. So the nausea is gone?"
"Not totally, but it is much better."

"Any pain? Or unusual discharge?

"No, not at all."

I climb up on the table and pull up my shirt and move my pants down. She maneuvers the machine over next to me and applies the gel to my stomach. I wince a little with the coolness and she places the wand against my skin. We soon see the baby on the screen and I see the smile spread across Nathan's face. It 's so sweet to see him get excited about the baby. He watches the screen intently as she moves the wand around as she takes measurements and looks at the baby. After a few minutes she moves a few buttons and we hear the heartbeat and it is loud and strong. I see Nathan's eyes glisten as he listens to the sound. It just amazes me how much he wants to be involved with this baby and it isn't even his. It makes me smile and wonder how he would be with his own.

"That is a strong heartbeat. Would you like to know what you are having?"

"Can you see that?"
"Yes I can."
"Please, I would like to know."

"Well, congratulations. You are having a boy."
I can't help the tears that begin to fall. I am having a baby boy. I don't even know why I am crying. Something tells me that I have always wanted a boy. I don't know why. Nathan reaches up and wipes my tears away with his thumbs.

"Congratulations, sweetheart."
He leans down and kisses my forehead and the butterflies begin to fly in my stomach. I don't know how long I can hold back my feeling for him.

"Alright, well I will print out your pictures and I would like to see you again in four weeks. You are progressing well. Take care of yourself and see you at your next visit."
"Thank you so much, Doctor."
We head out and make my next appointment at the front desk. We get the pictures and head back out to the truck. We get the pictures and head back out to the truck. We climb in and Nathan starts up the truck.

"So do you want to head to the diner for our usual?"
"That sounds great. I'm kinda craving their cheeseburger and a chocolate shake."

"Then it;s off to the diner."
He smiles that big beautiful smile of his and the butterflies start doing flips again. I can't help it and my heart beats faster. I just smile back and he heads off to our favorite place. We soon arrive and walk inside. Suzy sits us at our usual table.

"Hey guys, how are we doing today?"
"We are fabulous." Nathan says with a toothy grin.

"So, the usual?"

"Yes, please. The baby is craving a milkshake.
"They usual on the burger?"
"Definitely."
"You too, Nathan?"

"You got it."
"Alright, I will be back with your drinks."
She walks off to put in our orders and brings back our drinks, and goes to check on her other customers.

"Are you happy about having a boy?" Nathan asks.

"I am. I feel like it is something I have always wanted. Honestly as long as it was healthy, I would want either. I just wish he would know his father."

"We will find him."
No, I really feel like he is dead. I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was killed. Most of my dreams are about that."
"Why haven't you come to get me when you have those dreams?"
"I don't want you to worry. You need your sleep too. I don't want to wake you."
"It's okay. If you need me then you wake me. I am here for you."

He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his as he rubs circles with his thumb. We lock eyes and I can't take mine away from his. Do I let this man in with the possibility of both of us being broken down the line. Do I give up on my old life and start a new one with him? I just don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him, he has been so kind to me. I'm scared to open my heart. Suzy comes over with our lunch and breaks us apart.

"Here are your burgers, guys hope you enjoy them."

She sets them down in front of us and walks away. We tuck into our meals and I let out a soft moan. It is amazing as usual. I can see Nathan shift in his seat as he eats his burger. Does he have feelings for me too? He always has to touch me in some way. Whether he has his hand on my back or grabs my hand when we go somewhere. Am I looking too far into it?

"That good, huh?"
"It's amazing as usual."

"I'm glad. So how about we go shopping for the nursery?"
That could be fun, but I don't want you buying everything for me."

"I've got this, don't worry."
"You've already done so much for me."
"Because I care about you and don't want you to stress about anything."
"But...."
"No buts, I said I got this."
I just shake my head. WE finish our meal and head out to the baby store. WE spend a couple hours looking at baby furniture and everything I need for the baby. I even found some cute outfits and bedding to go in the nursery. He gave in and let me spend some money. It took a lot and I had to put my foot down against his stubbornness. We set a delivery date for the furniture and took the rest out to the truck. We decided to stop at the flower shop to see his mom since I had the day off and tell her the news. We pull up to the shop and pull in and go inside.

"There's my two favorite people. How did the appointment go?" Abby walks from behind the counter to give us both a hug.

"It went great and we found out what I'm having."
"Well, don't hold back, tell me." Abby says with a smile.

"I am having a boy."
"I knew it. Congratulations, sweetie. Oh, now I have a shower to plan."
"You don't have to do that."
"Yes, I do. It's my first grandbaby."
"Mom!"

"What? He is going to grow up here. So he is going to call me grandma."

I see Nathan just roll his eyes and shake his head. I can'[t believe how accepting everyone is with me and the baby. We talked with his mom for a little bit longer and I let out a yawn.

"We better get back home. Looks like Lilly is getting tired. Don't go overboard on the shower. I will talk to you later."

"You go home and rest, sweetie. I will see you tomorrow."

"Goodbye Abby. See you tomorrow."
We walk out to the truck and back home. When we arrive home we go inside and I flop down on the couch realizing how tired I really am. Nathan sits down at the other end and grabs my feet and puts them in his lap. He takes off my shoes and begins to massage them. It feels so good on my tired aching feet.

"Mmmm, that feels so good."
"You have been on your feet too much today."
"They feel swollen and ugly."
"They are not ugly. You have cute little feet. Along with the rest of your beautiful body."

I quickly blush and look away.

"You're just saying that. You don't have to say it."
"It's true. You are beautiful and I can't hold it back anymore. I'm sorry if I scare you but I am starting to have feelings for you. I know that you have a lot on your plate with the baby and trying to find who you are. I just wanted to let you know."

I suck in a breath and just look into his eyes for a moment. He really does have feelings for me. Are they as strong as the ones I have for him? Do I let him in? Will I break his heart someday?

"I have feelings for you too. It scares me so much. It's so complicated. What do we do?"
"We take it one day at a time. I would like to see where it goes. I know that you might have a significant other. It's all up to you. I can be friends if that is what you want. It might kill me, but I don't think I could be without you in my life."
"I really think that my baby's father is dead. I feel it in my heart. I have had so many dreams of his death and it feels so real."
The tears begin to fall and he moves over to pull me into his lap. I snuggle into his neck as he wraps his arms around me and rubs my back. The tears fall as I begin to sob and he tries to comfort me. Soon the tears begin to slow and he lifts my face and wipes the tears from my face. He holds it in his hands and looks into my eyes.

"I am sorry. I told you that if you wait and let the memories come to you that they would. I'm sorry that it is the worst one first. I hope that I can make your days brighter if you let me. I would like to see where it goes. If you ever get that other life back, I won't hold you back. It might break you but your happiness is all I want. Please give me a chance."

He looks from my eyes to my lips and back like he is having a war with his thoughts. Then I feel a soft pair of lips touch mine gently. My body tenses for a brief moment until I melt into him and my arms wrap around him as his hands slide into my hair as he deepens the kiss. I feel his tongue slide across my bottom lip as I open my mouth and I feel him explore my mouth and the heat shoots straight to my core. I melt into him as our tongues entwine. My hands move into his hair and gently pull at the nape of his neck as he groans. The kiss ends too quickly as he pulls back and places his forehead against mine.

"Wow"
"I agree, wow."
"Let me take you out on a real date Saturday?"

"Yes, I would like that."
We sit together for a moment just enjoying the closeness and my stomach growls loudly.

"Sounds like someone is hungry." He says with a laugh.

"Yes, just a bit."

"Alright, let me get cooking."
He heads into the kitchen and starts dinner as I curl up on the couch. I touch my lips as I feel them tingle. Am I making the right decision, letting him in? I hope I am and i hope that the future holds us together.