It was Charlotte all over again and I was sure that I might not last long enough to see myself destroy every part of me. Magenta was getting the treatment but doctor already said she was way past saving. I cursed myself, her and everyone around her for not giving her treatment when required. But that did no good.

The thought that she was dying was painful but what was even more painful, seeing her fall into that death. Her severe headaches, her sudden blindness, her paralytic attacks and her fumbling for words. I was watching the source of my life being gradually sucked out of light. 

And yet all through this she smiled, just smiled for me.

I detest everything in the world and I was intolerable when she was not around but she worked like a charm and I felt myself calming down. My director was displeased, my co-actors hated me while my manager and team somehow kept the media at bay.

As the last shot ended I rushed to collect my things and get neat Magenta as soon as possible. I felt fucking oxygen deprived without her like my heart was too heavy to breathe. Yeah sue me, I was addicted to her presence even when I knew she was dying.

"Let's go out for a drink Jeremy, just as friends or co-workers." Sapphire came to me.

"I don't want to even look at you right now Sapphire, I have more important things to do." Blame my crappy mood these days for the response.

She seemed a little shocked but nodded accepting her defeat.

As I sat down in the car after a tiring day my eyes closed and last night's image flashed before my mind. The pain Magenta was in was severe and it made almost choke on breath just thinking about it. Like a fool, I realised the warm tears trickling down my face. 

"Can we go to the fighting club?" I asked Ash who was somehow tolerating all my shit.

"Back to square one Jeremy, you made enemies with some messy people." He reminded me.

But I needed a relief from all this pain that was choking me.

And like God didn't want me to feel better my phone rang. It was Magenta and I realised she made me forget everything else.

"Yes," I asked as soon as I picked up the call.

"It's raining." She said and I had to roll my eyes for her way of conversation.

"Yeah Magenta, I can see that."

"I have this thing on my list." She said feeling hesitant for some reason.

"And?"

"Just wait for me downstairs when you come." She said and hung up before I could respond.

I hate rain, I hate getting all drenched in a shower but she was asking me to wait for her.

I called her as soon as I reached and she came down running in nothing more than shorts and t-shirt even though the weather was getting colder now.

And without even warning me she just smiled at me, came closer and planted her lips on mine. Holy shit! It was like a gasp of fresh air for me. It was pouring down heavily and her kiss was maddeningly exotic. Her lips were hesitant at first but as my arms wrapped around her waist, she kissed me fervently.

She had no idea what she was doing to me right then. My hands trailed over her body and I bet few people were witness to this PDA but I didn't care. I didn't hate rain now.

She stepped away with a proud smile and a blush.

"Wanted to kiss in rain, one of my wishes." She said and I realised it was one of her wishes before she died.

She will die and no one will kiss me like this in rain or rather I will not kiss anyone like this.

"Time to change into dry clothes Magenta before you fall sick," I said trying to hide the turmoil of emotions inside me.

 ***

The weekend came as a pleasant surprise for me as I got the day off mostly because people were scared of me. But what shocked me to the core was Magenta waking me up. For the whole week, she had been sick and Sunday was the one she decided to make me fall helplessly in love with her.

I woke up to something smelling delicious enough to pull me out of my sleep.

"I made breakfast." She said and I mentally winced at her delectable image in the open kitchen.

She was the required chaos in my house, the mess that made you realise that you live in a house and not some unreal palace. Her face lacked colour now and she lost too much weight but her eyes, those damn eyes were the wreck of me. They talked while her lips wouldn't and my mind understood it.

Like a habit I moved to the drink counter, to banish this beautiful image of her from my head but her soft hands stopped me.

"No drinking Jeremy." She said sternly.

"And will you be here to numb my pain later Magenta?" I said rather harshly.

I saw the hurt cross her face and a little part of me inside cursed me. But she just came forward and softly touched my face, her hand grazing my stubble and like an impulse, my eyes closed as I leaned into her touch.

"I will be somewhere equally tormented in pain if you do so Jer." She said softly as if she knew the kind of hold she had over me.

I allowed myself to enjoy that moment.

"Can I show you my list?" She said a little too happy for a dying person.

I nodded and slowly opened my eyes to her smiling face.

"How many things are there?" I asked finally seeing sense in Walk to Remember.

I always thought why any would waste time completing the list that will not help them in any way. Now I know it will help me to live.

And she handed me over the list with multiple strike offs and doodling. Her list just took the little heart away that was left with me.

1. Build a sand castle

2. Kiss in rain

3. Go on trekking

4. See a live movie shooting

5. Have a eat all you can for kids back home

6. A movie magical date with Jeremy

7.Attend a concert

8. Eat new things.

9. Never have to see foster family again

10. Teach Jer to live without me.

"Last point is not happening Magenta," I said in a tone thick with emotions.

Her wishes her just so- so simple. She wanted a romantical date with me.

"What if you just live?" I asked depression seeking in my voice.

"Don't you think I wish this the most." She said and I saw tears sprinkling down her eyes.

"God, I love you too much." I sighed as I looked at her, the girl who was raised in hell and yet turned out to be a heaven for someone like me.

"Do we do this in order?" I asked since I was falling into the trap here.

"Let's start with number nine please." She said the fear evident in her eyes.

And I suddenly know how I can help her with this. Tomorrow the world will know who Maureen is, my Magenta.

☘ ☘ ☘

Yeah well, this was awfully written!  :(

I just hate how my mind was not working today. Hopefully next will be better.

Now we have a list of wishes she wants to enjoy with Jeremy, which is your favorite wish? Or a wish you dislike? Feel free to suggest a wish you would want to insert and I might just do that :D