I have seen few of my one night stands in my shirts little too many times and I swear it was not provocative. But walking home to Magenta in my too big for her clothes was utterly satisfying. Somehow even in that jumbled mess of over sized clothing, she managed to deprive me of sane thoughts.

And even though being a guy my eyes did travel to her bare legs but more than that in my clothes she felt like... she was mine. I shouldn't feel that way, she wasn't mine. 

But lately, I was running out of reasons to keep her away. And God was not helping me here.

It was nine at night when we sat down in my car to go a movie theater. She was still wearing my tee and her jeans and she looked a little excited.

"What are we watching?" She asked fidgeting in her seat.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked since that seemed adequate.

"I am okay with anything." 

It was a late night show and for my benefit, I choose action so that I don't fall asleep or rather stare at Magenta if something boring came on screen.

She was totally engrossed in the movie and watched with a child like delight. There were very few people in the theater and as far as I know half of them would be celebs dating in secret. This place was reporter free and well known for a celeb.

But that fact that Magenta and I was sitting her was so out of context since I didn't even know if this was a date? Should I consider it a date? Magenta and I supposed to be not getting attached but there was no denying, I was interested in Magenta. Maybe it was because she could relate to my pain or maybe because she needed to be protected.

I was not sure of my reasons.

"This was awesome, can we do this again?" She asked as we walked out of the movie.

Her face was flushed with excitement. 

It was just a movie but it made her so happy that it was contagious.

After driving around for a while I stopped near the bridge.

"Why are we stopping here?" She asked not sounding worried at all to be with an almost stranger.

"When Charlotte discovered she had cancer she came here to jump once." I shared the darkest of my memories.

I heard her sharp intake of breath but she just stared at the bridge and water under it.

"She was already dying but she thought if she could lessen the pain of treatment or the burden and pain she was putting everyone through she will be happy," I explained her reason to come here.

"I can understand." Magenta said with sincerity but I bet she couldn't.

She was not slowly dying to leave behind people she loves.

"I saved her, begging her to stay as long as possible with me."

"And that meant you decided to take the pain for her." Magenta understood what I wanted to convey.

"Seeing her die will never leave me Magenta, I am scarred forever," I told her and she sat there in utter silence.

"So you want to die as well?" She asked and I hopelessly nodded not sure if I wanted that now.

"I will not advise you against it but I will just give you a thought to remember for times you are about to do something stupid." She said.

I waited for her to continue.

"Charlotte is watching you." She said and then with a heavy sigh continued.

"She is watching you destroy yourself, inflict pain on yourself. She is watching you all the time."

"This is plain stupid Magenta, they teach such stuff to kids." I can't believe she said those words.

"Are they Jeremy? Is that why you are afraid of happiness and feel guilty if you are happy for a moment? Is that why you want to show Charlotte that you are suffering without her."

Her words were painfully truthful like a prick of a needle.

"I remember her every day." I was trying to defend my actions.

"And it could be done in a better way than making her watch your pain."

"How would you know, you have not lost anyone." I snapped at feeling lost here immediately feeling bad on what I said.

"I am just saying from Charlotte's perspective, if I am gone I wouldn't want the person dearest to me waste away his life in pain." She shrugged not bothered by my words in silence.

"Dead can't decide what the living will do. We all have our way of dealing with pain."

"You are not dealing with pain Jeremy, you are living it."

"Then what do you want me to do?" I asked rhetorically.

"Create new memories to replace old ones." She suggested.

And eventually, I realized I was doing that since I met Magenta. Since she came, the nightmares decreased, the painful knot in my chest has loosened.

"And that doesn't mean you are forgetting or replacing Charlotte, it is just that you are now going to attach her with good memories which you already have but you are clouding those with painful ones."

It made sense, every place my sister smiled was painful for me and that should not happen.

"Do you like Jake?"I blurted out not sure why at this moment.

"Yes, obviously." She said like a fact.

"I mean like him romantically Magenta." She was so dense sometimes.

At this, she laughed, "Why do you ask?"

I don't know.

"Just curious as he is so protective of you and vice versa."

"I was a young run away girl with wounds both physical and emotional and Jake took care of me. I don't even know if I can repay him ever but among the street kids that I know, I had the safest life. And Jack is the reason for it. He had been with me in the worst time and so did Sam."

I don't know how I felt for Jack having so many advantages here.

But she didn't agree to like him romantically so there was still hope.

What hope Jeremy? I felt like smacking myself in the head.

We drove back to the house and it was past three in the night. She went to her usual sleeping place on the couch and like rest of the nights, I spent my restless night on the bed wondering how she slept peacefully trusting me so blindly.

***

There was nothing different about today. I was in the gym after my shoot and Magenta still refused to wear the stuff I bought her unless it was absolutely necessary. So when she showed up in a tight tank top and yoga pants I am pretty sure there was a reason behind it because as if I was not insane now she had to go around looking like this.

Our practice less advanced slowly since violence was not her thing but on some days she was angry and that anger showed in her punches and even kicks. I kept my eyes from noticing the beads of sweat on her collar bone or the delicate waist that deprived me of focus. 

But today she was angry at someone or something as she punched letting her anger flow in them. 

"What is wrong?"I finally had to ask.

But she looked at me and smiled, "Nothing."

The way she said that was eerie calm.

And I tried her approach.

"Magenta," I said and sat down inside the ring.

"Yes."

"Come and sit." And she did.

"What is wrong, talk about it?"

"Playing shrink here Jeremy?" She caught me.

I shrugged.

"Jack is not contacting me or Sam and I am worried but then I came to know from Sam today that he signed up for more fights. Why is he doing this?" She looked pained at this.

And there was a time when I would ignore and her pain must have meant nothing but right then it was doing something unpleasant to my nerves.

"I could go and ask if you want."

"You would?" Her eyes widened in disbelief at my gesture.

And she stood on her toes to give me a hug. I almost stopped breathing as her small frame fitted right into mine. As she moved away after a moment I sighed in relief. This was torturous for me in many ways.

"Two days for the summer house trip." She reminded me as we sat down in the car after the training.

"You sound excited."

"I am. I have never been on a trip before. And to a summer house." There was her child like shine again.

I wanted to say Tell me Magenta, what else you haven't done and I will help you. But I stopped myself this was way more than she asked for and I should desire for.

"What is the next impulsive thing you have in mind, let's take turns." She said.

That meant she already had next thing in mind because I chose the movie.

"So what did you decide?"I asked her while she still contemplated.

"Let's paint a graffiti." 

She was going to trash my star image.

"Where?" I asked feeling stupid even for asking. I should have just refused.

"On the car of someone you hate." She said with a big smile.

I bit back my own.

"Fine. If I lose my job I will blame you." I said in a light tone that made her laugh.

And it just confirmed that I was doing this stupid thing, painting a graffiti to unravel Magenta whose laugh was the first and not the last thing beautiful about her.

☘ ☘ ☘ 

Jeremy is conflicted xD So he should be :P

Best part of the chapter?