A desire to live when you are dying is a scary thing. That is when your life actually starts to matter, that is when you fear death and that is when you know you didn't want your life to end just then.

Living with Jeremy for a week made me greedy.

As promised Jack met me after two days without any serious injuries. But he left saying he will be back after cleaning up things from his end.

Since then I have been living with Jeremy in his house. He was not being the gentlemen I read about in books and didn't offer me his bed so naturally, I was sleeping on the really comfortable couch. Ash kept his fridge stocked with fruits and stuff and also some necessary things for me.

While he woke up every morning, went jogging, had a glass of juice and some fruit, took a bath and followed his monotonous routine to work. He returned back at abrupt timings whenever his shot was done but he never slacked in training me. We decided to keep weekend off after I begged since I needed rest from all the training in the week.

I spent my day relaxing for the first time in my life. I watched television, slept, ate and did nothing. I requested Ash to get me some books since both Jack and Jeremy forbid me to step out of the house and frankly I didn't want to. 

For just this once I want to lie and do nothing.

Jeremy kept his talking to me minimum and I realized his life was super busy.

One night I did ask him if I was annoying him or the reason why he was ignoring me and his answer made me shut up.

"Magenta, I have never lived with a girl in the house for this long and it is really hard for me to adjust to your presence. But if I start talking to you and getting attached, it will be difficult when you leave. I know what happens when people leave from your life."

It was early Saturday afternoon as I sat down on the sofa near the window. I sat down with my knees lifted up and my chin resting on it. Jeremy was gone for some early morning shot and I was done with breakfast and bath. I was wearing Jeremy's t-shirt and boxers, since I had nothing of mine and Jeremy, refused to buy me sleeping clothes while he bought me everything else.

I said I didn't want charity and here I was living in one. Today was a selfish day for me.

I bet we all have those. On some days we are kind and think, I will let others be happy, buy something for someone and a deep quote makes us smile and think.

And then there are days when we are despicable. We roll our eyes on some meaningful quotation, feel selfish and do things for us thinking about not giving a damn about other, things like emotion aggravates and we hate anyone and everyone able to find some shortcoming.

I was the latter today and I knew why. Today I was scared of dying. Today I wanted someone to know and make my last few days less miserable, help me make a bucket list.

The lock outside the door beeped and it clicked open. 

And today I was not going to be silent resident in his home.

"Let's go out," I said wanting to step out and do something before I die.

"What?" He said with his eyes widened in disbelief.

"I meant let's go outside." I rephrased realizing I just asked him to date me in a context.

"Now?"

"No, you can take a rest. We are on leave from the training so let's do something else. As you know I haven't done much so suggest anything."

"Fine, have you seen a movie in the theater?" He asked unbuttoning his shirt and I subtly turned away.

"No."

"Then let's watch a movie."

"Okay," I said pleased at his ease of accepting my demand.

"And can I meet Sam today?" I missed her and we only talked through Jeremy's phone.

"Sure."

Something was wrong with him, he is never in such agreeable mood.

"Are you alright?" I asked worriedly.

"Yes, just tough shoot." He said from his walk-in closet.

When I had tough times I always wanted someone to listen to it so that my chest felt less constricted, so that I don't over think it and someone could let me know it is alright.

"Jeremy, come here," I said and this time he looked up now wearing a faded t-shirt and pajamas.

He frowned but came down and sat next to me nevertheless.

I crossed my legs and faced him.

"What?" He asked in a wary tone.

"Tell me what happened?" I asked.

"Are you trying to play shrink here Magenta?"

"Whatever you think."

"I am not sharing my worries with you suddenly." His tone had the scary hard edge which was not too scary now.

"It helps trust me." I tried convincing him.

"I don't want help."

"Really?" I gave him a dry look.

"I meant now on this, you can't help."

Drinking could get the secret out of him.

"Then let's drink," I said not caring how it will adversely affect my health.

I have never gotten drunk in my life and life was ending so why not try that.

His smirk just shattered my plan, "You don't think I know what you are trying Magenta."

"Let me sleep for a while and then we can go watch a movie." He dismissed me with his words and went away to actually sleep.

***

His voice was distant but the only thing helpful right now as I tried to pull myself from the nightmare. I didn't know when I fell asleep but there it was again, the night I ran away from my foster family.

My body was almost paralyzed when Jeremy woke me up. Panic hit me when I realized I couldn't clearly hear what Jeremy was saying and I allowed my tears to flow begging him with my eyes. He picked me up and set me down on the bed. I could feel senses return to some part but I could feel that my disease was worsening.

It took me more than few moments to realize that my senses were back to normal. I just clutched onto to his shirt and sobbed scared off losing a life, scared of waking up and never able to move again or losing a part of me.

"What's wrong?" He asked in a soft voice.

"Exchange information?" I asked sniffling trying to make a deal.

"Fine. I hate shooting this new movie with a close friend of my sister, Sapphire."

"Nightmares about my foster family." And my cancer.

For a while, we just sat in silence. I looked at him, his worry and my worsening condition. 

Feeling determined all of a sudden I wiped my tears and hurried to get a paper and pen. When I returned Jeremy gave me a weird look.

"Let's make a contract."

"About?" He asked in a bored tone.

"Do whatever you want contract. For fifteen days we will do whatever we want or haven't done, say stuff to people we want to and be mad." I said now smiling at my idea.

"This is stupid Magenta, I am a star and I can't do that."

"Well so that is the plan, do what you can't but you want to."

And I gave myself an ultimatum in my head, I will make Jeremy want to live without pain and after fifteen days I will leave. I have to vanish somewhere this unnerving guy can't find me or more importantly make me scared of death.

"I will only do such stupid things Magenta if I am dying."

His words were a little harsh since I was actually dying.

And this made me angry.

"Fine, I will leave tomorrow and you can live in peace." This was a total threat hoping that this would matter to him.

He just glared at me.

"You are hopeless." He said.

"That makes two of us." I answered him.

"Okay, then we are doing the movie thing tonight." He said.

"And?" I asked not sure this was relevant here.

"Then I am being impulsive and stupid. I have never been on a movie date." He just something that weird and left me wondering whether he just indirectly signed the contract.

Movie Date. I have never been on any date but should I allow myself this luxury?

☘ ☘ ☘

I am not sure how I did with this chapter!

I wanted to write so much but something was stopping me. So I tried to put my feelings into words hope you guys like it!

They have many things to do now :D

Movie date
Visit to summer house

Training xD

Someone has to give up soon :D :D