I surprised myself this time. It just took me three days to come to terms or rather put up a facade of bravado and concoct a plan. I would say my frenemy Jack helped.

---------

As soon as I found out that Magenta was back safely from that filthy worm Reggie's hold I rushed to Sam's place but before I could enter and chain Magenta to me forever, my steps stilled.

"She is dying, is that true?" Jack's strained voice made something twist painfully inside me.

What is he talking about?

And the sibling had a discussion of their own, apparently, Sam knew about this before I heard the voice I needed to hear.

Yes. She said, she said yes to the question that is dying?

I don't know how I felt in that moment, just numb.

I heard her talk about the brain tumor and how she is suffering from it for more than a year now. My mind clouded with the anger of deception but what shocked me that I was feeling pain stronger than anger right then, the pain of losing Magenta. My mind swirled with questions, why did she lie? Why did hide this from me? 

I saw Jack storming out with tears falling down his eyes and he noticed me. He gasped sharply and I just glared at him. In that moment we don't say a word to each other and he passes by. He loved Magenta and didn't even once asked why she hid it from him. He loved her without any demand for returns or anything.

But I could not bring myself to forgive her, she knew how my sister died. How could she shattered my heart into million pieces when she knew that it was still in process of gluing together.

"He will hate me," She said and I realized in my agony I missed what was going on.

They were talking about me and it hit me heard how selfish I was right then. It felt like I didn't deserve her, Jack did. She was scared of telling me because I will hate her.

What good was I when I can't even share her pain? She was there for me every fucking time when I screwed up or made rash decisions and acted out on impulse. She was not even asking me to be there for her in return.

They discussed further her voice breaking my piece by piece every time. That voice will be gone somewhere far where I can't hear her. I felt like dying again. I welcome death because it was my only medicine right now. 

"You love him?" Sam asked and my dead-self felt a shock of life.

And I wanted to walk in to hear what she said. I had no idea what she did but apparently, she said a yes through a nod or something because Sam's word about true selfless words made sense. I felt elated amidst all the soul crushing pain. She loved me, someone, as broken, bad and undeserving person. How can she love me?

How was I even trying to hate her now?

Something warm caressed my cheek and I realized that I was crying. I rush out of there back to my car and cry silently letting all my pent up emotions flow freely when no one was looking to judge that how a man could cry. My chest ached acutely and I felt like gasping for air.

I close my eyes and Magenta's images swirl my mind. Her laugh, her words, her tears, her persistence in helping me, her hand that somehow through the time became a guide for me from darkness to wherever I was right now that was not so dark with her.

I needed to leave now before I did something stupid

***

I drowned myself in work and everything that could make my mind exhausted. I even tolerated Sapphire and her forced giggles around me but Magenta was like my conscience now, nagging, poking and dancing around my brain never once leaving my head.

She was dying and I was here wasting time.

Was I so selfish or was I so scared of the stitches to open up?

I know that I am a fucking coward.

"Someone named Sam is here," Ash said like he knew that Sam from a long time.

She marched in and sat down like she was the boss. Her cold stare made me rethink of what I last talked about with her.

"You love her asshole and she loves you, do I have to spell it out for you." She hissed out her words, her eyes threatening me.

"Jack told you," I asked as he knew that I was aware of Magenta's condition.

She gave me a pointed look.

I gulped. I was never this weak and now look what Magenta did.

"She is dying," I said and hopelessly my voice broke.

I have talked to Shawn about since he was the person who knew first and he said that because of not being treated she had no hopes now only a chance of a miracle. Her condition was at worst and her days are numbered.

My whole body felt the shock of this news as I drank and yet the sleep never came.

Sam's gaze softened.

"And you are here?" Sam questioned my sanity like I was doing mine.

"If she leaves me if I saw her die like I did with Charlotte, how do you think I will live?" I asked as if Sam was some wise elder.

"If she dies and you never see her, imagine how will that be?"

That struck a cord.

"Okay, what do I need to do?" I know I lost way before Sam came she just convinced me of my defeat.

"Make her a little jealous." She smiled as if she was playing the fairy godmother here.

"And dig my own grave."

"She will not confess unless we make her snap Jeremy, she is scared to hurt you too much."

God, I don't deserve her but in some insane alternate reality version, she is mine.

Jack came up with the idea of lying to her about her foster parents looking for her and need to move. He said that living with me will help her. His selfless love made me envy and respect him.

I exaggerated my so called chemistry with Sapphire and made her little jealous like Sam said.

It was on the fifth day of the plan when my door bell rand and I opened it without realizing that what I was about to face.

She doesn't know that I know. All those times she went through all the trauma and pain, I hurt her in many ways and so did the world and here she was with no complaints.

"Magenta." I sighed out her name and Sam chewed back a smile.

"Sorry for being a burden." She said.

Never was she a burden.

I was seeing her in a new light, she didn't seem like a person afraid to die, she hasn't lost that light in her eyes. She was brave and God she was beautiful.

As soon as she stepped in and Sam left I did what I most wanted not overthinking it.

I kissed her, hard almost stealing the breath away from her. As I pulled away her eyes widened in disbelief at my welcome gesture. I stared at her a little too long and felt a surge of anger at almighty. Why did someone like her have to die? Why everyone I love had to die?

How was I suppose to live without her?

Why didn't you tell me sooner Magenta? Was this the reason you were there at that charity hospital, was this the reason you fainted?

But I don't ask those questions out loud.

"Jeremy we need to follow some rules, you can't kiss me like you just did. It-it will complicate things and you already have a-a different life." She was talking about Sapphire and my anger instantly shifted to amusement.

She was jealous.

Right now she was alive.

And she is mine.

Fuck with the rules and distances and all fears, her and mine. I was meant to be shredded to pieces then so be it, I will rip every single stitch and bandage for her. If I was meant to be fucking broken then I will be but for now Magenta was here and other things have to wait.

I just set my priorities straight.

"Jeremy? Do you agree with my condition." She asked innocently.

"No," I said.

"What?"

"I said no Magenta, this is my house and there will be my rules," I announced.

And I stepped closer to her making her blink and gulp. I loved my effect on her.

My hands went around her waist and I saw her struggle with words. I pulled her even closer, her form fitting right with mine. I felt wonderful.

"And you are mine," I told her and saw the blush rise to her cheeks.

Just to make a point I kissed her again more passionately this time, gently biting her lip. She moaned at my gesture and I smiled against her lips.

"And I am going to kiss you however I want." 

The pain was somewhere there like a nagging subconscious but for now, I felt happiness wash over me.

☘ ☘ ☘

The cat is out the bag....

How do you feel about Jeremy's reaction?

Fun fact: I first thought about Jeremy super angry and write about that chapter but dragging a chapter just to show his anger was kind of lame so I decided not to do that.

He knows but she doesn't know that he does....I should make this a little funxD

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