Monday
He didn't lie to me. He wasn't here.
That's fine. I didn't even know him that well, right?

But other than the last week, I did keep running into him.
It was usually just small, few minute interactions.
But still, they were special.
Yes, I had interactions with almost every other person who came through, but he was special.
I don't know why. Maybe, maybe it was because we just clicked straight away.

Or maybe I had a small crush on him. But it was stupid really- I didn't have a name, I barely saw his face, didn't know how old he was and didn't talk to him other than our random run-ins.

But still, it was more lonely than ever today.

Tuesday
I had work, so today wasn't that bad.
Mirae kept messaging me, keeping me up to date on openings and the company. She also planned to call me later tonight.
So I had that to look forward to.

After hours of brewing and serving customers, my shift was over as I waved goodbye to my coworkers.

As soon as I got home I stripped from my uniform, and into something more comfortable- I wasn't going to leave the apartment again anyways.
An incoming call came from Mirae, as I quickly picked up.

"So, how's it going?" She asked.
"Ah, life is slow and boring. Haven't seen my friend at the arcade for awhile, and he said he isn't coming back for a bit so I'm just waiting it out. How about you?" I asked.
"The cafe was insane today. The boy group came in, flocked by paparazzi and squealing girls. Terrifying." Mirae said, shuddering as she spoke.

"Which group?" I asked, not really caring.
I hadn't kept up with kpop groups in ages.
"You may have heard of them- Stray Kids. They're kind of new, but not really." She said.
"One of their songs played in my cafe the other day, but other than that I've never heard of them."
"Interesting." Mirae commented. "You should look into them. I think you'll like them."

I stifled a laugh. "Probably not."
"You'll like their members! I'm sure- one of them is so cute; I'm sure you'll recognise him." She chuckled.
I sat up in my bed. "Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
I heard her gasp. "Ah, nothing my dear. I've got to go, so let's talk again soon another day, okay? Bye!" Mirae abruptly said, hanging up on me.

I rolled my eyes, but nevertheless I searched up these 'Stray Kids' anyway.

She wasn't wrong.
One of their members looked almost exactly like my sunshine.

But it couldn't be, could it?
I was tired, so I was probably just delirious.
So I closed the tab, and fell asleep.

Wednesday
This Stray Kids group was having a comeback, so when I went into Seoul to see Mirae in person and go shopping with her, the company was packed with people.
Eight boys stood in the centre of it all, simply trying to get a drink as they waved awkwardly to their fans.
They were all wearing masks, hoodies and sunglasses, which made sense.
In that industry, it was best to stay hidden most times.

Mirae linked her arm in mine.
"Let's go."

What I thought was her taking me shopping, was her taking me to sign up for auditions.
I hesitantly obliged, not wanting to go through the same pain as the last time I tried.
But she kindly stayed with me the whole day, as it was finally my turn.

"So, Y/N L/N, it says here you are trying for dance?"
The man, whom I assumed was the head of the company, asked.
I nodded. "I haven't danced in awhile, but my friend told me to just go for it."
He nodded, flicking through his papers.

"What song will you be dancing to?"

"Criminal by Taemin." I said abruptly, mentally facepalming myself for that.
I didn't think I was ever that good at this one, but I mean, it was now or never.

He nodded, fiddling with his phone, before smiling at me.
"When you're ready, L/N."

I just nodded to him, as the music filled the room.

I didn't miss a single step, and as I finished, my heart was racing with the thrill of performing, even if it was just for the audience of two - the company manager and Mirae, who was watching from the window in the door.
"Thank you, Y/N. I'll contact you if I send you through." He said.

"Thank you so much." I said, bowing my head before I left.

Mirae pulled me into a hug.
"You did so good girl! Ah, that company all that time ago was so dumb for rejecting you."

"I've gotten better I think." I said quietly.

"You need to be out of here within the next hour, otherwise I'll charge you double, okay?" The lady scowled.
"I will be gone, I promise." I said, voice breathy from my exhaustion.
As she rolled her eyes and closed the door again, I started the music again, filming, dancing, and watching.
I had to perfect every flaw.
If I knew I messed something up, I would restart.
If I could only see it on the video, I would focus on it the time after.

This habit continued for weeks.
I wasn't eating, and I had lost contact with almost everyone.
The people who pulled me out of it were my coworkers, Yohan and Taekyung.
"You need to stop overworking yourself. You're losing weight really unhealthily." Taekyung said, as she pulled me into a hug one day after work.

"I won't get better if I don't work hard." I whispered, not having the energy to fight her back, as I felt sobs rise in my throat.
"Just take a break, and audition some place elsewhere in a few weeks or months, whatever. Whenever you think you're ready. That's better than trying to cram getting better in a short period of time." Yohan smiled at me, before he tried to join the hug.
Taekyung pushed him away, so she could look into my eyes.

"You'll get there one day. There's no need to rush, you're still young."

I nodded, feeling tears fall down.

I really hoped this time wasn't going to be a repeat.

Thursday
He wasn't there. It had been four days since I had last seen him.
I tried to look into Stray Kids, and I couldn't get over the similarity between my sunshine and one of the members.

But it was all coincidence, right?

My sunshine wouldn't be an idol and not tell me, right?