one week later
They were desperate to rush my debut. But it didn't help that I was wallowing in my sorrows.

It felt like we had broke up. Had we? Did I consider me and my sunshine- my arcade friend, as my lover? We never initiated things of the sort.

I mean, sure, we would hug. Sit close... but I wouldn't say we were lovers.

So why did it hurt so much?

"Earth to Y/N. Look up for me, please." The make-up artist said, as I blinked quickly, looking up.
"Sorry."

She just smiled softly, continuing to touch up my cheeks, making them pinker and paler than necessary.

"Alright, we'll start shooting in five." Another person said.

Right. I was being used for a commercial. Extra credit before my debut.
But I was detached. Heartbroken.

I didn't deserve to be if I did it myself, right?

"Psst. Y/N. Psst." A whisper from a half closed door.
I turned my head.

"Han?"

He smiled at me, a bright, warm inviting smile, as I stood up, bowing my head.

"Ah, please don't. Let's talk."

"It's been a whole week. And she hasn't been with Felix! Isn't that fantastic?"

"Yeah, well, I heard she's making a move on Han. She's as bad as Ara was."

"Hm. Should we do the same to her?"

"Ah, maybe. It's not time yet though."

"Right. Let's wait until she's got a debut date. That'll sting."

"Yeah, agreed."

"What do you mean Felix has gone missing? Idols don't go missing." I frowned, as Han kept his distance.
"Well, not literally. But he won't talk to anyone. What happened?"

"I discovered he was hiding a shitty secret," I replied, sighing, "he pretended to be someone he wasn't. And that really hurt me, you know."

Han just hummed, before something clicked.

"Ah. You found out. Took you awhile, to be honest. I remember trying to do the same thing with Ara, way back when. She figured me out straight away." He laughed softly, his eyes shining with a depth of sadness that looked almost painful to carry.

He felt guilt about her death. I know he did.
That's the worst type of guilt to feel, knowing you couldn't do anything.

"That's not why I'm here though," He started quickly, interrupting me with a raised hand before I could get another word in, "have you heard from Mirae? She got fired from the cafe, so it's been radio silence."

"You still think she's messing with me? It's ludicrous, you know. The whole thing. If she didn't want me getting close to you, why would she send me to your fan meet?" I asked, narrowed eyes in suspicion.

I always assumed something was off with Mirae. A confident cover up of insecurity, she always voiced her opinions. She picked up on Felix being my arcade lover long before I did.
And I ignored her.

Was she protecting me? Maybe. Or was it out of envy? I didn't know.

"Y/N-" He started, but the photographer interjected.

"Where'd the girl go? She was just here."

Han pursed his lips, tapping my shoulder.

"Please, just.. come to room 212 later. I need to explain some things."

I just bowed my head, before walking back out, brushing a stray strand of hair from my ear, instantly people rushing to get me on the set.

It was six hours before the photos were done. My eyes ached from the light, as I forced myself through the JYP building.

209, 210, 211...

212. This was the boys normal practice room. But it was silent for once, compared to the usual hammering of their feet and the thumping claps that echoed from their long days.

I opened the door, to find Han sitting at the back, on his phone.

"Ah, I'm glad." He said, standing to greet me.

This time, I raised my hand to silence him.

"Han. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but seriously, I don't-"

"They never found Ara's body."

"What?"

"Felix, come on," Chan urged, knocking on the door.
Felix was in a state of despair. He just stared at his phone, waiting. He couldn't come off as desperate, you wanted space.
And he understood your anxiety- a trainee and an idol wouldn't work. No. He'd have to wait until three years after your debut.

Even that was too long. He missed you, desperately, your infectious smile, your laugh.

Being treated as your equal.

When Chan received no answer, he pushed the door open, sighing.

"Come on, Felix. You can't mope all day, she doesn't hate you. She just wants space."

"So she may as well hate me."

"Definitely not. Come on, let's go distract ourselves."

Felix only stared off, before rolling back under his covers.
Chan's face scrunched into uncertainty. His heart ached for his friend.
But there was nothing he could do.

The report was clear. Ara Hyun was dead. Her body had gone missing. Exactly a week before her debut.
They had released the video anyways, in her honour. A suicide.

Unlikely by those who knew her. But who really knows what goes on behind curtains, behind the mask we put up for the world?

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked Han, as he beamed slightly.

"Yeji told me you reckoned you saw her. I think she's alive. She's got to be, right? She's just laying low 'til the person who threatened her to vanish is locked up. So it's got to be Mirae at fault!" Han was rambling, words merging in a rushed crescendo.

My nose scrunched, "Han, aren't you being too hopeful?"

He stopped his nervous, squirrel-like pacing, turning to me with wide eyes.

"Y/N, this is the most hope i've had since she died. Wouldn't it just make sense?"

"Han, people don't come back from the dead-"

"I know she's alive! Okay? She wouldn't just leave me." His voice raised, before it cracked, and he slipped slightly.

I came over and held him by his waist awkwardly.

And he broke down sobbing, disheveled, hot tears pouring from his cheeks and down my cotton tee.

I didn't stop him.

And Felix watched from the doorway. He wanted to make things right.

But you were having a moment with his band mate.

He wasn't jealous, no.

You were just too good for him. That's what scared him.

Especially as he gripped his phone, a message displayed on its ill lit screen.

'Five days.'