Kaha tha Iss shehar ko na jao

Ab apni ankhon se daikh aye ho

To ro rahay ho

Kay ab waha tum nahi naye log bas gaye hain

Told you don't go to that city

Now you've seen it with your eyes

And you are crying that you are no longer there

New faces have taken your place

Kaha tha

Ab shehr e arzoo dasht e Jaan ruba hai

Gaye zamanon ki khushbuein kab se mar chuki hain

Judaiyan kaam kar chuki hain

Tumharay naghmon kay naram poday

Nayin ruton ki shaded lau se jhulas gaye hain

Gulaab kay surkh surkh phulon ko kasni saanp dass gaye hain

Wo ghuftugu ki abjooein sakoot kay rezgar mein dafan ho gayin hain

Ufaq kay uss paar kho gayin hain

Kaha tha

Wo saeetein na lotain gi jo gayin hain

Told you

The city of dreams is now the desert of life long pain

The fragrance of a past gone by is now dead

The distances have worked

The delicate flowers of your melodies have burnt by the flame of new season

The red roses have been stung by dark snakes

The echoes of our talks have now infused in the desert of nothingness

Have gotten lost on the horizon

Told you

Those moments will never come back those which have passed

Ahmed Faraz

Longing is a weird thing, it works in weird ways. Snatches sanity from the sane and bestows enlightenment on the unknown. Longing makes itself known, so profoundly that when the remedy of your every pain, the balm of your every wound is standing there right in front of you, you are unable to feel it.

She had felt the all too familiar touch on her arms, even before her mind could register the familiarity of it, her heart had given the verdict but she was afraid. Too damn afraid to look up and find another game of her mind which was already a tangled up mess. She didn't want that same old agony to once again surround her, the disappointment to seep through her bones and mark her whole being, she was a coward this way and she had no qualms accepting it.

But for how long could she ignore it, the voice in the back of her mind telling her to turn and see, to feel and to just look. She did, slowly and when her eyes crashed with those known depths of her everything, she felt something being replaced inside her. Something that had gotten lost almost three months back.

She blinked, one time, two times, three times. She waited for the image to dissolve and the bland interior of the room to again fill all the crevices but it stayed. The face stayed. It didn't move. It didn't go.

Was her imagination this strong? Was it even a reality? Had she really gotten up from that sleep she was trying to get for an hour? She raised a shaky hand to finally end this torture. Only for it to turn in to a reality. Her trembling lips and moist eyes were not getting enough of this. Does end of pain and longing feel like this? Her hand was right on his cheek.

"Told you, sooner or later will come back home....to you."

Nothing which could do it that one sentence did. A sob broke through her lips and clutching front of his shirt in her fists she let herself lose control. The pain was enormous, three months? No. Eons. Eons were standing between them. This side to that, only pain had written its life story.

"I....I thought..."

She hiccuped making his heart break into million pieces.

"I.... though I'd never... see you again. I thought this will... never become a reality!"

Zaviyar wound his arms around her not knowing what to say to her.

"That...funeral....I was told you....but ..."

She hadn't broken down like this even when the wound was still raw, when she had no idea what actually had happened but it was more about the person than the situation.

"Harram, I'm here!"

"Are you really?"

The disbelief had pierced something inside him. She knew he was here but still she wasn't sure. They had come to this. This was where they were. This had been made theirs.

He cupped her face looking right into her eyes.

"I'm. And I'm not going back now."

She had stopped trying to say anything because her emotions weren't letting her. Instead, she let her tears run and clutched his arms some more. And this time when she raised her tip toes and hugged him holding him from his nape.

The same way she had done so many times before. Zaviyar closed his eyes feeling alive after ages. This was home. This was a homecoming he wasn't anticipating.

For how long both stood there they had no idea. The first echo of dawn entered inside the room through the open window.

The daylight was upon them. The long night of pain had ended. The lovers had found their destination.

"You are bleeding."

He had said as soon as they had broken the hug. Harram looked at her foot and sure enough her wound had threw open again.

"So are you."

She whispered gesturing towards his arm. He shook his head as if it was nothing.

"That can be taken care of later."

"This can too."

The same old challenge in her voice had him smiling for the first time tonight. The real homecoming was this. The hint of them. The feel of theirs.

The red nose of hers and those teary eyes. This wasn't just the doing of this reunion. There was so much they both needed to talk about. He's gotten his bearings and now his mind was working in its usual way.

"What are you doing here?"

Harram felt tongue tied. What should she tell him? That his grandfather had attempted a deathly attack on her last night and she had to literally run for her life? This was way too early to disclose this detail to him. Too early to broach this topic which needed so much to discuss.

"We both need first aid, first."

She wiped the tears off her face trying to look compose. Zaviyar wasn't convinced. Him and his impeccable ability to look through her. She tried moving past him but her foot was hell bent upon making things difficult for her tonight. The force made her yelp in pain once again and Harram felt him stiffen beside her.

"Watch out!"

His arm was immediately around her waist and her hands flew out to his shoulders. His hands felt the changed form of hers which wasn't evident from the way she had draped her chadar around her. That swollen stomach. She again felt her eyes welling up.

"It's not flat anymore."

Her whisper was filled with a pain no one should go through. Zaviyar let a tear finally getting lost somewhere in his beard.

For any person out there, just a period of three months, a matter of family conflict and the war between good and evil. But for them, these two people, it was the death of so many dreams and wishes. Unfulfilled, those which never find their home, their destination. What they had thought for a life to be and what they had gotten in return. Words were falling short and emotions were overwhelmed. In the conflict of saying or keeping they both were just gazing at each other and trying their best to not let the brave front crumble.

The commotion outside had drew their attention towards the door. Zaviyar immediately got defensive. Coming in front of her while their hands were still intertwined, he scowled towards the entrance. Harram held his shoulder gently.

"It must be Baba and Aalee."

Zaviyar immediately relaxed. Harram could see his stance. Living among god knows what kind people for such a long time had made him even more careful than he already was.

"That's good then. I need to talk to him. The reason why I came here."

"He doesn't know."

"Know what?"

She gestured towards him and Zaviyar closed his eyes.

"That I'm alive?"

Harram nodded. Nothing about this situation was normal. But they both would face it just fine. She increased her force on their hands telling him without any words that from now on they were going to face everything together come what may.

___________________________________

Yahya Duraid stopped his car in front of Sahni house and took a deep breath. This night was a disaster roller coaster. First the situation with Harram and Obaid Dastagir's threat over it. It was not something Yahya was worried about that much. It was pretty clear Harram had run away at the last moment and now was in hiding and no one knew where.

But the phone call which had shaken his whole being had come from across mountains.

Zaviyar had escaped taking Palwisha along.

Everything was at stake now and he'd never be able to stop Honadir from taking drastic measures now.

For the very first time Yahya could feel the echoes doom reaching to him.

_______________________

When she woke up this morning, Harram didn't know what this day was going to bring to her. From getting almost killed to having her husband reach her, she sure had quite a day. To think of it still felt unreal even now. Standing close to him in front of Obaid who was as shaken as she was expecting him to be, Harram still couldn't believe their destiny had finally brought them here.

"A fake death!"

Obaid seethed not knowing what to do with this new information.

"That exactly."

"But why?"

"That's a long story."

Obaid looked at his son in law and then at his daughter. He was expecting anything but this when he had gotten here. Such a huge scheme was playing right in front of him and he couldn't pinpoint it earlier.

"I'd like to know it then."

Harram looked between her father and husband. She was very much in control of the situation now as she had gotten her bearings and knowing Zaviyar's condition and how long of a journey he had endured along with the mental trauma, she didn't want this conversation now. He was here and they'd have all the time to sort through their next course of action.

"Baba, I think right now all of us need rest. We can talk about everything later when we are in a better state?"

Her approach was cautious knowing too well how angry her father was at this moment, and rightly so. A fake death which had swirled everything from its axis, a lie they all would take some time getting over.

"But, Shirin!..."

He tried arguing with her. Aalee was standing in a corner not saying anything. Sana had also come out of her room and the silence was an indication they all were having their time accepting this new reality.

"She's right, uncle. We all need some time to get our bearings and come to terms with what has happened. I'm also not alone. I have someone with me who's still sitting there in your drawing room. Should fetch her."

Zaviyar got up and walking towards the adjacent room got lost through the door. Harram looked at his retreating back. Her heart almost whispered that he was not coming back and this was all her imagination but to her relief he was back in few seconds with a woman following behind him. Harram stood up with a scowl on her face. Who was she?

Before Zaviyar could explain anything Sana who was all quiet up until now, got up with a start.

"Aapa!"

Her cry was filled with emotions of varied range. Pain, shock, exhilaration, agony. Harram covered her face with her palm. Palwisha Sultan? With Zaviyar?

Palwisha who hadn't even looked around properly had become stiff seeing her younger sister in front of her.

"Sana..."

Both sisters had embraced each other leaving all around them confused sans Harram. She was finally getting this. She reached Zaviyar's side holding his arm.

"You were kept where she was?"

He nodded looking above at Palwisha who, for the first time was coming out of her facade seeing her sister in front of her. But then he looked at Harram with scrutinizing eyes.

"You know who she is?"

"Palwisha Sultan. Sultan Bakht's wife."

Zaviyar looked visibly confused. There was so much he and his wife need to talk about.

"Did you know she's Sana auntie's sister?"

He shook his head. Harram held his hand already feeling weak to see how Nano would react to this.

"You did such a right thing by bringing her here with you. So much of the agony is going to end."

She leaned into his side and looked on where Sana was introducing Palwisha to Aalee and Obaid who were as surprised as they should be.

"You should take her to Nano, Sana auntie."

Harram called to Sana when Palwisha looked back at her. Her eyes roamed between her and Zaviyar and slowly a smile reached her lips. Zaviyar just nodded in her way. A silent exchange which was speaking of their understanding. Harram glanced at him. They sure needed to talk.

Once Palwisha was taken to Khanum's room, Obaid turned to Zaviyar.

"I can't tell you how shockingly soothing it is to see you. And I'm sure Harram knew about it."

Harram smiled nodding slightly.

"There are many things which I want to tell you, Uncle, actually both of us do but Harram is right. We all need some rest. I'll let you know the whole thing in some time."

Obaid had understood there was something big brewing here so he let go of it.

"Sure, now what you both should do is go and take some rest. Harram, you specially."

Obaid's way of telling her this felt absurd to Zaviyar but he didn't raise any questions. Harram lead him to the room she was staying in already. He looked around at the interior and then at Harram who was taking out something from the side table.

"Why you are here?"

She froze at her place.

"As far as I know you were staying at Duraid House and then shifted back with Zara auntie. Why did you come here? And why everyone seems a bit shaken up? Including you. There is something I don't know right?"

She made him sit on the bed and rolled his sleeve to see his wound. It was patched up but the blood was seeping out once again indicating the injury was deep.

"How did this happen?"

"Bullet."

She became still and then started dressing it more vehemently.

"You still didn't answer my question, Harram."

She became silent once again. Lying to him had never been her forte and now when they were both emotionally vulnerable she didn't want him to have this worry etched with him.

"This is something now should be with you."

She extended the file to him which she had taken out with the box. Zaviyar immediately recognized it.

"It was with you all along?"

Worry had laced his every word. The file being with her meant her life in danger.

"Not really, I gave it to Colonel Bukhari. He handed it over me today only."

"And where is he?"

Harram sighed.

"In custody. They've arrested him on the basis of few allegations."

This was new for Zaviyar. Bukhari was not easy to get hand on. The enemy must;ve gotten the hint of his involvement in this case.

"He has added few details on here. You can check them out to know what he had come to know. He was working on it further. Hamail and Waleed also know about everything. No one else does. I didn't tell anyone else nor did them. We were trying to chase your location but there was no lead."

She got up holding her herself when Zaviyar held her hand.

"You are still not good at keeping things from me."

Harram felt a chill running down her spine. The agonizing two and a half hours she had spent fighting against the fate that was made hers were flashing in front of her. She took a step back and bumped in to Zaviyar only.

"Harram??"

"No one knows I'm here, Zaviyar! No one but our immediate family. Not anyone from Duraid house. No one."

She clutched the front of his shirt again as the dread was once again settling in.

"They...they came to know about my involvement too. And....they sent people to fire down my car. I can still feel that deafening voice in my ears. So many bullets. So many! I was as good as dead. Ismail Chachu called me. He told me to turn back and run. I did. And I was just few steps away when those people arrives. So many bullets. My car...no one would recognize it. And now they are looking for my body. I just knew I had to be here no matter what and that's why I ran and came here, Zaviyar. "

She had held onto him and Zaviyar felt he had turned into stone. The fear in her eyes, the way she was looking for comfort and the way her one hand was right on her midriff.

There could be so much wrong had she not been diligent and brave enough.

He could've walked on his own doom had she not been informed of what was to hit her.

So, she'd finally been dragged into something he had always kept her away from? This was his worst fear and it was coming true. This was what he had never wanted and he had to himself pull her in because who else could he trust to know him this much to decode what he had so discreetly left behind.

And still she managed to secure the file. Even after so much which he didn't know he knew what thing, this woman who was clung to his side was the epitome of courage. He had always loved her, respected her for the person she was but now he felt like he owned her his life. She had struggled so much when she could just sit back and wait for him to turn up. She had risked so much for both of them.

"You are the bravest person I know, Harram."

She shook her head and wept.

"Since the time I've seen you I've been doing nothing but crying. How can you say that?"

"Because I'm not even talking about crying, I'm talking about what you've pulled off. I'm so freaking proud and will always be."

Harram didn't believe him but it was good knowing how he felt about this. She was finally giving in the exhaustion. The hours of constant struggle was finally catching up to her. Still holding him she rested her head on his chest and sighed.

He was everything she had always called home. And now she was home. Closing her eyes she relaxed and in just few minutes was already asleep.

Zaviyar made her lay down on the bed and picking up the first aid box changed his wound dressing. As he held her foot in his hand a tear dropped right at her ankle and got lost somewhere in the duvet. He concentrated on just her injured foot and when he finally got finished, his eyes were bloodshed with so much holding off. Rubbing his eyes to get rid of the moisture gathered there, he lay down next to her after getting cleaned up and kept on looking at her face.

She didn't have her hand placed right at his side. It was hidden there somewhere close to her head.

A habit which must've worn off.

Zaviyar sighed and gently pulled her arm right on his chest.

His hand caressed the bump she was supporting. Feeling both the halves of his whole being he closed his eyes and wished for the sleep to engulf him.

The dawn was upon them. The night had passed.

__________________________

Palwisha caressed her mother's hair and kissed her hand. Durdana Khanum was still in deep slumber and Palwisha hadn't tried waking her up. Sana was sitting next to her with tears streaming down her face.

"Sana?"

Khanum called to her daughter still in sleep and then slowly opened her eyes. Her gaze straight went towards person sitting next to her.

"Is it time for the prayer or I'm late? I'm seriously considering changing my medicine. It makes me sleepy and I often miss my Salah! Why are you looking at me? Answer me!"

"Ammi...."

The broken whisper vanished all the sleep from Khanum's eyes. She stiffened for a moment and then looked for her glasses frantically. Pushing them over her eyes she stared at the person sitting next to her.

"Ammi...it's me. It's me Ammi..."

Palwisha held her hands. Durdana Khanum felt a cry getting lodged in her throat.

"Palwisha..."

She hugged her daughter close. The pain spanned over 25 years wasn't easy to get out but both were sharing it with each other. Sana looked above thanking Allah Almighty for sending Zaviyar as an angel in their lives who had gotten Palwisha along. That morning all three of them had started their morning together. After eons.

___________________

Harram handed him over the phone and looked at his face which was full of anticipation.

"You sure about this. I mean he's going to get a heart attack."

Zaviyar chuckled and dialed the number. After three calls it was picked up.

"Hello?"

Zaviyar wasn't listening to just a voice. He was listening to the person who was embodiment of loyalty and family love.

"Hello?"

"Hamail."

There was complete silence from the other side and then a tentative full of emotions voice rang through it.

"Bhai?"

"How are you, big guy?"

Hamail got up on the chair he had slept on thinking all night to the various point in the situation they had at hand at this moment.

"Bhai, I can't believe it's you. I'm...I just can't."

"It's me and you don't have to worry about finding me anymore. I'm at Haveli. With Harram."

"You are really?"

Zaviyar smiled at the way his voice was both euphoric and confused.

"I'm. I want you and Waleed to come and meet me here."

"We'll be there soon bhai. Don't you worry, Bhai."

"And listen, Hamail!"

"Yes, Bhai?"

"Take Maa along. This kid misses his mother."

Hamail wiped his eyes and mumbling an okay cut the call. He had never thought hearing Zaviyar's voice again would have this effect on him. Without thinking of anything he let the tears fall.

____________________

Zaviyar left the phone on the cradle. Harram had his hand in hers. A silent way of giving him the support.

"Now what?"

He leaned on his knees.

"Now we gather and plan. We are half way there and we are not letting them get away after ruining our lives. I won't let them. Not after what they've pulled off recently."

Harram knew what he was talking about. She nodded hugging him sideways. Zaviyar let his one hand caress her stomach while the other was in her hair. His eyes were a telling sign of how his mind was working.

Yahya Duraid was so going down and Zaviyar would make sure of it.

______________________

The early morning hue in the army cemetery was bordering on melancholy. The air of calm around was somewhere whispering of heartbreak and broken promises. Khadija covered her head with the chadar and making her way through the small pavement turned a corner. Taking slow steps she could see a tombstone from here. A deep sigh resonated in the silent air. Khadija stood in front of the almost three months old grave and let a tear roll down.

"Zaviyar..."

Her attempts to stop herself from losing control were going in vain. She slid down the floor and cried as she had never cried before.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...this is all my fault. My karma is hitting your family....I'm so sorry..."

She had no one to stop her and she didn't even want to stop. This was all somewhere her destiny but people around her were suffering.

It hadn't been long since she was sitting there when she felt strong arms hauling her up.

"Tai Maa!"

Hamail got her away from the grave as if he was disgusted.

"I don't want to go, Hamail! Let me stay here."

"This place isn't for you, Tai Maa!"

"My son is here! How it is not for me!"

Hamail helplessly held onto her hands.

"No, He isn't here."

Khadija's protest died slowly. She was grazing at Hamail like he had gone crazy. Hamail heaved a sigh.

"He really isn't here."

Khadija felt her limbs going limp. The air around her wasn't calm anymore. It was whispering of a storm coming.

______________________

I know it sucks. I might edit it or rewrite it altogether.