Flashbacks are in bold*

The setting sun indicated the end of another day. The flocks of birds flew towards their nests. The humans were mimicking them rushing towards their homes. Life was coming to a standstill.

But at the end of Qasai Gali, life had just awakened in its full form. The lamps were shining with the silhouettes of painted smiles and hidden grief. Some were basking in the spotlight while others just wanted to hide in a nook away from the world. And in all this chaos, some faces were just indifferent, as if nothing about this life made any difference to them anymore. This was a face of life unknown to many. The face which was marred even after all the layers of happiness and contentment.

Yahan tehzeeb bikti hai, yahan farmaan bikte hain

Zara tum daam tou badlo, yhan imaan bikte hain

Values and norms are sold here

Change your price and see faiths are sold here

Habib Jalib

Hamail rested his head on the wall of the window and closed his eyes. Demeaning of life here was so new to him. Women being used like a tissue paper were something he was not used to seeing in his life but here it was the normal and these people knew nothing other than that. Fate is a strange thing. Especially which is decided without you having any say in it. Many people here were subjected to that fate only.

"Sheraz is here."

Waleed whispered drawing Hamail's attention towards him. Hamail immediately straightened his back and focused his hearing in the room. The woman they were in contact with, named Muskan had called them here tonight as Sheraz had booked a night stay. This was the chance they were after for so long. Waleed was the one who had spied on Sheraz and came to know where Sherz spent most of his nights. Muskan was Sheraz's old pal as he was no newbie in this area. Waleed had gathered that much in a week and then he had found Muskan alone in a market and talked her into what he was planning. Muskan wasn't even reluctant at first. It should've confused Waleed seeing her enthusiasm on using Sheraz like this but her response had made things clear.

"These markets operate because people like Sheraz won't stop coming here. Most of the women working at Qasai Gali were either born to be prostitutes or were forced to do so. And who encourage such circumstances? People like Sheraz and many out there so if I get a chance of pulling just one down I'll do it with a smile, Officer."

Her reasoning had made sense and that was the moment Waleed knew once Zaviyar was out alive what their next mission should be. These women needed help and it was sad no one had thought of obliterating such areas.

So here they were now. Through Muskan they had come to know about Sheraz's being a light weight and immediately the plan had formed and now was the time to implement it.

Hamail scowled at the noise of shuffling coming from the room. It was no rocket science what was happening there.

"Easy, Sheraz. It's not been that long to be this desperate."

The fakeness of Muskan's giggle was so clear. Sheraz was a fool. No denying.

"You know I can't spend more than two days away from you."

"That much you like me?"

She was pouring him a drink. The liquid hitting the glass had echoed in the room.

"You have no idea, sweetheart."

"Ah! If I didn't know better I'd have thought you'd marry me."

Her venom filled sweet talk had an edge to it. Sheraz was still oblivious instead he laughed out loud.

"Funny!"

"Yeah, I know. Here.."

She handed him the glass which he emptied in a sip. The game had started then. The more Sheraz was trying to come close to her drunker he was getting.

"You are one naughty girl."

Sheraz slurred with a dreamy smile on his face. Waleed and Hamail looked at each other with identical disgust.

"That I'm. But I missed you, you know. What's taking all your time?"

"Awww baby...I missed you too but duty is duty ya know."

"You do a 9-5 job, Sheraz. That's an excuse and you also know that!"

"Oh hell no! I'm Yahya Duraid's right hand man. My duty is out of your understanding."

"Then make me understand ...hmm"

She bent towards him in a seductive manner. Her clothing which was apt to the occasion was accentuating her curves and that was Sheraz's slipping point.

"Ahhh that's quite a story."

"Tell me, hun.."

She opened the first button his shirt while his eyes were right on her.

"Just understand that someone from his own clan....turned out to be his number one worry."

"Ahan?"

"Yeah, so much was at stake. He had to take drastic....ermm measures."

"Which entails?"

"You are a curious little thing aren't you?"

He hiccuped.

"Come on, tell me Sheraz. What happened next?"

"What could happen? Yahya sir got him good. Took him from his house. Ordered me to take care of him and then....then..."

"Then?"

"The ..most interesting bit. Yahya sir....well he...hid that person in...his own house. In the basement and no fool from his family could know."

He was laughing now. A creepy sound reverberating in the silence of the room.

"Clever..."

Muskan whispered knowing the revelation wouldn't be easy to digest for the two figures sitting in her room window.

"I know right! That was the biggest fuck you I ever saw. When the situation got under control he was sent to a house on the outskirts of Islamabad. I was there. Like guarding a rabid dog. One with a fucking smart mouth. But...I was in charge and he was under my eye all the time..."

Muskan saw his eyes dropping.

"Sheraz!"

"Shut up you bitch. Lemme sleep!

His too drunk to talk without swearing phase had arrived. Muskan knew it was futile now. In mere seconds he was passed out.

"Boys! Come out."

She called and the next second Hamail was rushing towards the bed.

"Hamail!"

Waleed held him from his arm so that he won't do any harm to the sleepy form of Sheraz.

"Do you think he knows more?"

"Even if he knows we can't do anything now. He's not in his senses so we should go. This is not the right time for Yahya Duraid to find out we are after him."

Waleed pulled Hamail away from Sheraz and climbing the balcony railing both were at the back of the building huffing and puffing. Hamail kicked a stone nearby taking out his frustration.

"Did you hear him? In our own fucking house!"

Waleed leaned against the wall.

"Your grandfather is one twisted asshole."

Hamail didn't say anything. Disbelief was still showing from his every gesture.

"Let's get you home."

"If you mean Duraid house and then no. I'm not ready for that yet. Drop me at my apartment."

Waleed nodded understanding the turmoil Hamail was going through. Once inside the car Waleed silently took the wheel and began driving towards their destination. There were no words exchanged between them as there was nothing much to say anyway. Both were reeling from the fact that Yahya Duraid played the whole world like he did.

When the car screeched in front of his apartment building, Hamail mumbled a good bye and almost leapt out of it. He had no idea how he had reached his front door but seeing Meeral's confused form in front of his he just dropped himself in her arms and closed his eyes.

For the first time in his life Hamail wanted to even forget his last name and the family he was a part of.

_______________________

Some places are your focal point in your life. No matter what you always turn back to those. The doors are never closed in fact they open many new flaps leading to hidden memories. Memories you know are your only solace.

Pushing the main door open, Harram looked around the dark interior of the room. Her hand reached the switch board and the next second the whole lounge bathed in the white glow of the lights. Harram held the door and leaned into it.

"Zaviyar was captured from his house only."

Waleed's words from a while back echoed in her ears. She was gazing at every nook and corner. Where his hands must've reached for the last time, in a state of worry for what was to come. He must've known what his fate was going to be. Or else he wouldn't have left her that clue which revealed everything before her.

His first stop must be the kitchen to secure the keys. Or he might have done that long before? He had gone to meet Khadija before coming here. And now Harram could tell why. The timeline was slowly making sense to her. He had gone from here in the morning, when his posting orders were yet to come. Went to meet Khadija and putting the file in its secure place and then came back here to hide the key.

How his mind had worked even in such a delicate situation. And how could she forget that call he had made to her father. It was made from here itself. Even then he was worried about her.

Harram didn't wipe the tears that had made their presence known. Her heart was aching some more today. Hamail and Waleed had updated her on everything.

Almost a week. He was there in the basement of Duraid house and she had no idea. He was right in front of her eyes and she was mourning his departure from her life. Yahya Duraid's games were no longer enraging her, they were making her sad. Who could say Zaviyar was his own blood? He had treated both her and Zaviyar like his enemies, mapping out their whole life apart from each other.

She hadn't said anything when Hamail had asked her to at least say something, just came to the car to get to Pindi and to her house. She had no stamina in her to go to Duraid house and relive the what ifs. There were many and now she had so many regrets. What if she had pushed opened the basement door that night? Her heart was pulling her towards that place and now she knew why. He was there. She was there. Just a wooden door between but they weren't that lucky to cross it.

Was the path of their lives together always difficult or was it made difficult? So many hurdles, so many complications. After walking on eggshells they had finally gotten each other and now here they were, so alone, so far and so out of each other's reach.

Did they ever have it easy? They did. In this house. The reason why she had come here. To relive some of those moments where they were just them and not an echo of a lost past for each other.

Harram left the door when she felt those voices behind her. All too familiar. She didn't have to turn around. The two figures were right in front of her eyes in the form of a memory she'd always cherish.

"Come on, now. I'm about to collapse."

"Wait up, you impatient soul! I'm trying."

"Let me just put you on the ground so that I can open the door?"

"Don't you dare! My feet hurt and I'm tired and this is comfortable."

She leaned into his side then seeing his stern expressions turned back to unlocking the door. They were back home after spending the evening with the family at Duraid house. May be it was the pampering Harram had gotten from her in laws there due to her pregnancy but she had refused to come out of the car on her own feet when they had reached home. Her demand was that Zaviyar pick her up and take her inside to their room. Zaviyar had to give in seeing her dejected face but when it came to opening the door he was on the verge of losing his sanity as Harram was continuously teasing him in her attempts or lack thereof unlocking the door. He was standing there with her in his arms.

"It's almost done."

She said for the umpteenth time. Zaviyar was about to retort but the door opened and Harram pushed it so they could go inside.

"See!"

She exclaimed wounding her arms around his neck. His expressions were making her giggle like a kid. His frustrated yet so in love to not say anything self was her favourite. She was being a brat but she loved doing it.

Placing her gently on the bed, Zaviyar dropped himself right next to her on his front.

"I annoy you a lot don't I?"

"Who says I'm annoyed?"

"This! This is what makes me do it again and again. You never mind, Major. Such an obedient husband!"

"Too bad I can't say the same about you."

"Haw! What did I do now?"

"You told everyone about me asking you why your stomach is still flat."

"Oh that! Come on! You also know it was to divert their attention from Hamail's potential life partner. The kid was mortified on knowing Dado is looking for girls for him."

"And you found telling them all THAT was the solution? I was so embarrassed!"

It started with a giggle and then turned into full-fledged laughter. Forgetting his annoyance Zaviyar was busy looking at her whose laugh was echoing in the whole house. He shook his head feeling his own lips curling up.

"I'm sorry I just got reminded of your face when I told everyone. That was priceless."

Zaviyar chuckled but his gaze didn't falter. He saw her laughter changing into a yawn and then her eyes getting heavy. Slowly, she slipped into a peaceful slumber.

The last feeling her half asleep half-awake mind registered was someone taking off her shoes and putting the duvet on her. Even in her sleep she had smiled.

Hamail had tried giving her space but it's been so long she was standing in the door. Heaving a sigh, he took slow steps and stood next to her.

"We should never make someone's existence our home, Hamail. Because when that person is gone, you are homeless and no shelter can provide you with the same feeling. Half of my life up until now, I spent running after him and I don't know how long this finding him is going to take. I miss him. Every second my heart sighs and whispers his name. But all in vain. "

Hamail didn't know any words to comfort her. He didn't know how to comfort his own self right now. Blood relations aren't supposed to be this cruel on each other but Yahya Duraid was hell bent upon proving everything wrong.

"You don't deserve this."

A sad smile was her only response.

"But it's my fate now."

"No, it isn't. We are trying our best. You, Waleed, I! We'll get out of this as winners. Did you try talking to Durdana Khanum again?"

Harram had told him about what Durdana Khanum had told her. For now, they didn't know if this revelation was important in Zaviyar's case but it was something they could look into.

"I haven't. It isn't easy for her to visit her past. She got sick that day as well so I didn't try again. I don't even know if this connects with Zaviyar but right now everything we get our hands on, is important."

Hamail nodded fully understanding what she was saying.

"Waleed and I are going to look more into Sheraz's routine so that we can get hold of him. He knows more than he lets on."

He gestures her towards the lawn. Harram wanted to spend some time here but it wasn't safe to stay for long. If someone was keeping an eye on here then they'd be doomed.

"You go wait for me in the car. I'll be there in just a few."

Taking long steps, Harram crossed the lounge and unlocked the bedroom door. The stale fragrance of tales of togetherness was registering somewhere in the back of her mind. She opened the closet and getting her hands on the needed thing closed it back.

The blazer had lost the smell of him but the feeling was still there, somewhere. Harram hugged it close and inhaled deeply.

Mujeh khabar hai kay kya hai judaiyon ka azab

Kay maine shakh se gul ko bechharte dekha hai

I know the pain of losing

For I have seen flower getting away from its branch

Mohsin Naqvi

________________________

"Durdana Khanum is still not well."

Zara told her daughter casually while setting the table for the breakfast. Harram who was sitting absentmindedly on her chair looked up.

"Obaid called last night when you were asleep. He's still busy with his business tour so is still out of country. But he was sounding worried."

"Is she critical?"

"That's the problem. No major health issue but still she's always down with something or the other. Doctor is saying there is mental pressure but for what? Obaid has no idea."

Regret immediately made its way into Harram. She was somewhere responsible for what has happened. She shouldn't have prodded Nano and tried asking her about the past. This had worsened her health. Harram wasn't an insensitive person by any means. No matter how massive her own problems were, but she had no right to make Nano vulnerable this way.

"I don't know Sana's family much given the fact I never really took interest in them. But I wish and pray things get better for her. The whole family loves and respects her a lot."

Zara had never talked about it but right now Harram could see a pain reflecting through her. It wasn't easy for her to reconcile with her husband after he had literally abandoned her and her daughter but for Harram's present and future Zara had sacrificed her own pain and suffering. Harram's dislike for Obaid stemmed from this reason only. She felt it was unjust with her mother that she form a bonding with her father who, no matter was a good dad but couldn't be a good husband. Obaid had slowly made his way into Harram's life and at his rightful spot of her father but still, even today Harram knew Zara's struggle and how much Zara had endured just for her.

This was one of the reasons why Harram didn't like bringing up Obaid's other family in front of Zara. She could try getting more information on them from Zara but it was not only futile as Zara didn't know much but it would also be insensitive on Harram's part to make her mother go through the memories she'd rather forget.

"Amma, where are the cookies you baked yesterday?"

Harram hugged Zara sideways looking over the counter top.

"You liked those?"

"Like? I loved them! I have no mood of munching on this toast. Please, make me a cup of tea and give me those cookies. I'll love you forever."

After ages Zara was seeing her daughter smile and naturally it made her smile as well.

"I'll be right back okay. Stay put."

Zara walked towards her room where the jar of cookies was placed. Harram watched her retreating back and sighed. Sometimes, it's important to live a little for those who literally live only for you.

___________________

The TV lounge of Umaid's apartment was filled with his university fellows who were there to enjoy his bachelorhood the last time. Everyone was enjoying themselves and leaving no chance to tease Umaid who was finally getting married to his childhood sweetheart. The smiles were flowing. The air was filled with an easygoing energy but away from all the joy scattered around, a bored Harram was sitting on the couch playing with her phone. The commotion around her had no effect on her. She was lost in her own thoughts, calculating her own problems and Zaviyar Ali aka her husband was one of those, actually he was on top of the list.

It's been a month to their wedding and in those he had come home only two times. Harram had started at Azar's office and things were coming out to be great at work front. But the valley of her own heart was silent and not a beautiful, comfortable silnce it was. The last time Zaviyar had come home his bullet wound had shaken her up. For him it was a part of the norm but for her it was like seeing her heart being set of fire. She had lost control and he had consoled her.

A consolation she'd never forget anytime soon. How his lips had done all the soothing work without him voicing anything. And it made her cry harder than ever. All of this would make her glide on the clouds of love had his refusal to marry her all those months back wouldn't be there. She was living in her own conflict. A part of her heart was pulling her towards whatever was between them. The way they were falling into a routine. The way she was adjusting in his life and he was in hers. While the other was not ready to forget yet. That "No" he had said to her. The longing of years and then the struggle to get over that longing for days. He had made her life a mess with just his mere words. She had accepted it. Him not loving her back wasn't something she had made an issue out of but now, when he had so heroically married her, she was not ready to forget it. Was she some kind of a toy or an object to satisfy the need of heroism in his life? She refused to be that. She had made her peace with the fact that they were never going to be "them" but now when they were them she didn't feel it was what she had wanted all those years.

Love was dear but self-respect was also important.

He was a good husband, like he was good at any relation. Never imposed anything on her and being as accommodating as he could be. Their arguments would heat up because of her otherwise if it was left to him no argument would ever ensue between them. Her in laws doted on her like they had waited for her for so long. Any woman in her place would bask in the love she was getting, the respect and understanding her husband was showing but she was Harram Obaid and he was Zaviyar Ali and according to Soha they both had history together so yes, it wasn't easy for her to just move on and enjoy the present when the past had made them what they were today.

"If this is what happens to you after marriage then I really need to reconsider my options."

Omaid sat down next to her with an easygoing smile on his face. Harram shook her head.

"Or maybe I was daydreaming about my husband only?"

She tried playing it cool. Umaid was a good friend and Hamail's best buddy but she couldn't let her face give out the turmoil she was feeling now could she?

"That's more like it. You should totally do it. After all you guys are the definition of goals for many out there."

He was hinting towards few of their female friends who couldn't get enough of the dreamy couple Harram and Zaviyar made. Her response was just a shrug of her shoulders.

"Come on now, you haven't tasted anything. We all are having so much fun so do this pinning over you lover boy soldier some other time. Come now!"

She had mingled with the crowd trying to forget her worries for a while. With Sohaira and Hamail at her side she actually ended up having a good time. The talks couldn't stop even when they were dropping her off at her house.

When she opened the door the first thing she felt was the aroma of dinner permeated in the air of the house. It didn't take a genius to know who was back home.

"Asslam Alaikum."

His greeting was laced with a charming smile of his and Harram felt herself almost slipping and falling, once again.

"Wa alaikum asslam. How long you've been here? You should've informed me."

"I myself wasn't aware so here I'm. And about informing you, I thought why not surprising you with a nice dinner but it's not coming out that nice. There must be a problem in the recipe."

Harram stopped the snort that was so there and looked at his shirt clad bicep where the las time a bullet wound was present.

"Is it healed?"

"Yeah, almost."

She nodded taking out dishes. The dinner went with small talk which was more on his part than hers. He was noticing how detached she was from everything. More than ever. He thought of letting it go but when she chose to sit down at the backyard instead of coming to the room and sleeping, Zaviyar knew something was up.

"Are you okay, Harram?"

She had felt his presence behind her before his voice could announce his arrival.

"Yes."

"I don't believe you. Look, you can talk to me about it. I'm good at keeping secrets."

A bitter smile appeared on he lips.

"Don't you get tired?"

"Of what exactly?"

"Of this good husband who cares for his wife facade of yours."

If Zaviyar had thought they were finally moving away from this then he was wrong.

"You think it's a facade?"

His whisper was hollow, bordering on pain.

"Have you left me with any other option?"

"Harram, can you please leave the past in the past? The present is more important and in this present you are my wife!"

"The wife you once totally wrote off your life? No matter what you say Zaviyar I can't let go of the fact that I was not even an option for you but then you had to add me in the mix of your life!"

"I didn't have to. No one forced me!"

"Then you must love playing hero don't you? On field you are so accustomed of being the knight in shining armor that you thought why not implement it in real life as well. But do you think it will make me forget that you refused me right on my face. No matter what I do I can't let go of the part that I'm in your life by an accident and given the choice you'd never include me into it normally and with your own consent. Our marriage was a game of circumstances. You were not under any pressure but you hadn't come there with the intent of marrying me, it was something that just happened! And I? I was not even ready to be here as your wife! I'm sorry if this hurts you but I can't move away from this fact this easily!"

Her breath was coming in puffs and the eyes were filled with tears. Zaviyar took a step forward to do anything to make her feel better but giving him no chance she had run from there.

The next morning came with the usual feel of normalcy. Harram had gone to office and Zaviyar went to Duraid house to meet the family. Hamail was insisting of them coming to meet Meeral as they hadn't visited her after marriage. Zaviyar had called Harram and contrary to his thoughts she had no objections to it. It was decided then they'd have dinner with Hamail and Meeral at their apartment.

Harram had gotten ready for the night with an air of indifference surrounding her. She was not able to understand herself these days. The conflicting notions her mind and heart were throwing her way were enough to keep her occupied. She was torn between two extremes, divided between two possibilities and conflicted between two realities.

The whole drive she hadn't uttered a single word. Meeral had arranged for a full-fledged dinner for them. She was Zaviyar's childhood friend and now Harram's good friend as well so the ease with which the conversation had started covering everything in their life was endearing. Harram almost felt the prior worries leaving her. She was busy in a heated discussion with Hamail on Raza's proposal for Soha. He was trying to pick out minute things just to pick point flaws in it while she was in full support of Raza and his potential relationship with Soha. Hamail was just being a stubborn ass nothing else. Over protective brother as his finest.

"You know what? Go on blabbering I'll go and help Meeral in making the coffee."

Leaving a grumbling Hamail, Harram made her way towards the kitchen. Zaviyar had gone to the balcony to attend an important call. Good. At least few minutes away from him. Harram thought and increased her pace.

"This can't go on for long, you know."

Meeral's worry filled voice had reached her before she could enter inside.

"Zaviyar! I'm talking to you. This can't go on like this."

"It's going just fine."

"Fine? Have you seen the awkwardness between you two? The lack of contact is so evident. It's me who've realized it but imagine your mother or grandmother asking you why you two look so distant!"

"They know we are adjusting. After all we both weren't ready for this marriage."

"Talk about her! You were ready since the time you came to know marrying also comes under the description of loving someone."

Harram held the wall so that she wouldn't collapse. What?

"Don't go there!"

Zaviyar's hushed whisper echoed in the kitchen.

"Why not? You are a fool you know right? You should've never hidden the fact that you are in love with her for as long as you can remember. Not when you both needed up marrying each other!"

"It's not that simple, Meeral!"

"It's not that difficult as well. You are a tough guy and you like rough situations, accepted. But she deserved to know. We all are waiting here for you to tell her this so that finally you both can get rid of this longing you both are felling for so long but no! Major Zaviyar will not say a word. He'll accept his wife's jibs and see her visibly conflicted but not give her what will right every wrong! Such an idiot!"

Zaviyar was about to come up with his reply to this insult but one look towards the kitchen door and he could swear his ancestor must've felt the weight of his fear.

Harram narrowed her eyes at him and Meeral both and taking long strides came out towards the lounge.

"Harram, I've decided. You were right! Raza is actually not that bad and hey! Where are you going? We are yet to drink the coffee and believe me Meeral makes good coffee! Harram!"

"Shut up, Hamail!"

Not listening to anything Hamail was saying she picked up purse and phone and was out of the apartment in no time.

"What?"

Hamail whispered and before he could know the reason Zaviyar also followed suit.

"What the hell is happening here?"

He asked Meeral who was biting her nail in tension. This wasn't supposed to happen this way.

"Will you tell me what was this about?"

Argh! The ever oblivious Hamail Ali. Meeral turned to him with her deadliest glare.

"Shut up, Hamail!"

She ran inside to inform Sohaira of this disaster while Hamail stood there still not knowing what the hell just happened.

Harram was about to get inside a cab when Zaviyar reached her side. Not caring for her angry looks, he made her sit inside their car and drove off towards their home. The whole ride was silent but he knew this was not going to end well. And right he was. Once inside the house Harram had turned swiftly towards him. He had formed many explanations in his mind but now he was feeling tongue tied.

"For how long?"

She asked in a meek whisper.

"Harram I..."

"I asked how long!"

He bit his lip and bent his head.

"No longer than you."

"Years you mean? Wow, Zaviyar! Just wow!"

She looked around not knowing how to digest this new piece of knowledge.

"You could pretend, you could hurt me, you could let me go but could never once come to me and tell me that you fucking love me!"

"It's not that simple! How do I make you understand this?"

"You don't have to! Just make me understand what I do now with this information! You have made me such a mess Zaviyar! I wasn't joking when called you cruel! You are cruel, Major! Keep it in your pea sized brain! I hate you for making me go through hell and feeling like shit! I hate you! When it came to announcing the lie of not having any feelings for me you were so loud and when you had to tell me the truth of your love you couldn't even say anything? I feel like a fool all because of you!"

"Harram!"

He tried holding her arms but she pushed him away.

"What was the reason? Wasn't I good enough for you? Was I too emotional for an always in control man like you? Tell me!"

She pushed at his chest when she held her from her face. His palms were cupping her cheeks while eyes were boring into her soul.

"You. Are. The. Best. Thing. That. Has. Ever. Happened. To. Me."

Words were chewed out for her to get them. His thumbs were busy in wiping the tears that had rolled down her cheeks.

"Then why?"

A broken whisper had left her mouth. It reminded him of that night on the terrace of Duraid house when she had asked him the same way if he did love her even a bit. The impact of both her questions was the same. He was feeling a needle piercing through his heart.

"I wanted to....protect you."

"Against what?"

No response came out from him. She pushed his hands away and ensured a decent distance between them.

"Tell me the truth. I want a valid reason, Major or else I'll consider this nothing but another blow from you to hurt me. And I don't want to see your face for tonight. Sleep anywhere you think you can. Don't come inside the room!"

She gave him one last glare and like a tornado got lost inside the room. Zaviyar kicked the wall in anger. Such a mess!

She was true to her words and he respected it as well. Leaning against the couch in the lounge Zaviyar let his thoughts go in every way they could. The what ifs and the what nots. Everything. It was after a while when he felt the cold infusing into his bones, he got up and slowly came inside the room to get himself a duvet.

The scene inside made him so conflicted, whether to smile or die with the love he was feeling. Warning him to not get inside the room and sleep on the bed with her, she herself couldn't sleep there alone and was now barely fitting in the sofa with his pillow in her arms in which her face was buried.

Zaviyar left a sigh and picked her up in his arms.

She was everything his heart has ever desired, ever wished and ever wanted.

In other words she was his everything.

Dropping a kiss on her forehead he placed her on the bed and picking the duvet left the room as she had asked him to.

Tumse bohot kuch kehna hai magar;

Kabhi tum nahi milte,

Kabhi alfaaz nahi milte.

I want to say so much to you

But sometimes you are not here

And sometimes my words betray me

Yeh dooriyan mita doon main ek pal mein magar;

Kabhi qadam nahi chalte,

Toh kabhi raaste nahi milte.

If I could, I'd remove these distances in a second

But sometimes footsteps are lost

And sometimes the way to you is unknown

Tumhein paana chahta hoon umar bhar keliye magar;

Kabhi halaat nahi milte,

Toh kabhi jazbaat nahi milte.

I want to get you but

Sometimes the circumstances are not in our favour

And sometimes feelings are not right

____________________

Bukhari glanced at the clock and waited for the meeting to end. He was here in General Shahab's office to try directing his focus on General Khalid Aslam's questionable activities. Though he didn't have proofs to back his claim but General Shahab had been like a mentor to him, the same way Bukhari was to Zaviyar and Waleed. Even if General Shahab didn't believe him, he'd definitely keep an eye on General Aslam and that'd be enough.

His terrain of thought got interrupted sensing someone's presence behind him. Getting alert, Bukhari looked back and got no surprise seeing Khalid Aslam smiling at him.

"The meeting hasn't ended yet?"

Bukhari got up saluting him as he was higher in rank than him. It was against Bukhari's conscience but he had no say in it.

"Yes, sir. General Shahab will be here shortly though."

General Khalid took the seat close to Bukhari and twirled the paper weight in his fingers. The heavy silence in the room was indicating how tense the air between the two was.

"What took you here, Bukhari?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you, Sir."

"Is that so? Hmmm."

The paper weight was thrown in Bukhari's way. His alertness came in handy and he ducked it in time.

"This was not aimed at you, you know."

General Aslam pointed towards the wall where the paper weight had just hit.

"But you were in the way and it could hit you as well."

Bukhari was no fool. He was getting the context of this conversation.

"Never come in between of something you have no idea about. It often kills you without any fault of yours. Getting me Bukhari?"

It was an open threat coated with his simple words.

"I'll come when General Shahab will be here. See you around, Bukhari."

He got up not before giving a dark look to Colonel Bukhari. So he had gotten an inkling why Bukhari was there. Which means nothing was safe now and they had to be real quick before word got to Yahya Duraid and who effort is lost.

______________________

Zaviyar leaned into the chair and looked up at the towering figure of Ghiyas. He had never visited Zaviyar before and now his arrival if not had scared Zaviyar, made him curious for sure.

"This room isn't inhabitable. It's more like for the..."

"Hostages. I know."

Zaviyar looked him in the eye. Something was up. Behind Ghiyas, Palwisha was standing looking confuse.

"But you are no longer one in my eyes."

Ghiyas was trying his best to read the man in front of him. He was young, he was not easy to read and he looked fearless. Something Ghiyas hadn't seen much in the people who'd come here as prisoners.

"It's been days, you are here. More than enough time for you to understand that you are not going back. The only place you can go from here is the hell which I'd never want you to go in. The journey back is no even an option so your safest bet is to be here and the way you didn't try escaping the last time gives me hope that you are finally seeing sense."

"This is the last time we give him a chance otherwise what happens next isn't under my control. You'll have to make sure he proves trust worthy so that he can stay there. I don't want him away and it's an order Ghiyas!"

The voice of Yahya Duraid was still reverberating in Ghiyas's ears. He was instructed to give Zaviyar free hand but keep an eyes on him so that he wouldn't try anything but at this point it was important for Yahya Duraid to prove that Zaviyar was no longer the threat. Honadir Sahni wasn't a kind person when it came to the business and Ghiyas knew Yahya didn't want his grandson to be shipped abroad and get lost in the black market.

"So, from today onwards, you are one of us. You are free to roam here. You are free to live in a room I'll give you but you can't go outside. Fair enough?"

He extended his hand towards Zaviyar who looked deep in thought. After few seconds contemplation he gave his hand into Ghiyas's as a gesture of approval.

"Great! Maai! Open his ropes. I'll send someone to take him to his better and new room."

Ghiyas was out from there. Palwisha who was silent up until now, came to Zaviyar with a confused expression on her face.

"I couldn't understand. What are they trying to do?"

"Play me. What else?"

He smirked towards the door.

"This ease for me is actually a trap. To judge whether I still try to escape or not. If I'm good to be left on my own or they have to send me some other place from where it'll be harder for me to come back."

"So you'll try to escape?"

He shook his head gesturing towards his ropes so that she'd help him getting out of those.

"I'm just enjoying this. I'm one of them now after all."

His body language was telling Palwisha he was definitely up to something.

___________________

The heavy curtains in the room were drawn. Gull pushed the door open and looked inside.

"Bhabhi?"

Khadija turned on her bed. The lights were switched on ending the darkness the room was submerged in.

"Safina told me you haven't come out of your room since yesterday. Are you okay?"

It was not every day Gull would go and check up on any member of the family other than her kids. But Khadija knew deep down Gull was caring. She used to cover it well with her façade of indifference but for how long that could go on?

"Yes, I wasn't feeling good so thought of just keeping to my room."

"Have you checked your blood pressure?"

"It's normal. I'm just not feeling like meeting anyone. One of those days."

"Understandable."

Gull got up to leave when Khadija stopped her.

"Gull, I know you are angry the way Baba and Ammi jaan handled the matter of Hamail's marriage. It was not right on their part but now they are ready to welcome Meeral home. We should be happy that finally things are getting better."

Gull's response was a sad smile.

"Things are never getting better in this house, Bhabhi. We should leave Meeral where she is. Hamail is happy living away from this house and I do not want to bring them both here. You know better why."

Khadija knew what she was saying. The reason why Zaviyar hadn't brought Harram in Duraid house.

"Should I say something Bhabhi?"

"Hun?"

"I can't say this to Ismail because you know he'd never listen to me but we shouldn't be too depended on other's decisions for us, instead we should listen to our heart and try doing what we deem right. Humans aren't that powerful that we give the reins of our lives to them."

Having said that Gull got up to leave.

"Gull!"

She stopped waiting for Khadija.

"What if having the reins of your life in your hands isn't possible now?"

Gull turned around.

"It's never too late. Life is yours so everything in it should also be yours only."

The door closed with a click behind Gull but she wouldn't know what havoc Khadija was facing and how talking to her had somehow increased it.

_________________

It's been almost fifteen minutes Harram was gazing at her laptop screen with nothing on her mind. Her eyes were having their fill of the face which was always there everywhere around them but not in front of them.

Zaviyar's smiling picture as her background was the closest she'd get to his face now. Looking right in his eyes. Having her fill of him. Memorizing his features, those she'd ignored before not even thinking anything of it but now she was tracing even the smallest of his features, minute, of no importance but having her whole world.

She waited patiently for him to pick up her call and at last he did.

"You have started missing me already?"

"You changed my laptop background?"

His chuckle was the proof enough.

"Are you insane? I was about to go in the conference hall. What if everyone there have seen it during my presentation?"

"They'd know how handsome your husband is?"

"You are, no denying but that's beside the point! You shouldn't have."

"Rich coming from someone who changed me home screen the last time I was coming back to the base."

"That was such a cute picture of you!"

"I was just in shorts!"

"You were like five in that picture, Zaviyar. Stop being dramatic."

"Whatever but it was embarrassing!"

"So to get back on me you came up with such a nice idea."

"Can bet you won't be changing that background anytime soon."

"You wish!"

She cut the call and smiled at the desktop background. He was right. She wouldn't be changing it anytime soon.

Harram sighed and got back on what she had opened the laptop for. Azar had just called her to mail her some important documents. She couldn't continue to work with him as she was not in right state of mind and also she was in her Iddah for the world.

Sending the mail she leaned against the pillow with the laptop in her lap. She opened Google homepage and came up with nothing she wanted to do. Her all interests had gone down the drain. A blanket of melancholy was always around her and she couldn't come out of it no matter what.

But suddenly a thought had crossed her mind. Sitting straight, Harram typed Yahya Duraid's name in the search bar and checked the results. Anything that could give her any lead towards anything.

But almost fifteen minutes into this and she knew someone from Yahya Duraid's media team was handling his Google information because nothing controversial was here. Just good stuff. She opened the images and started scrolling down. She was desperate for something. Anything. And seemed like her struggle had come to an end.

It was a blur picture as if taken from other source. She opened it. Yahya Duraid's face was still evident. But it wasn't the picture which drew her towards it. It was the description.

"A forgotten and vanished from history pages, two decades old feud which almost cost Yahya Duraid everything."

She desperately opened the link.

"Shit!"

A big "The article is no longer available." Was shining on her screen. She checked the columnist's name.

Moazzam Rasool. January 10th, 2013.

Her next stop was googling this person. She looked at his info section on Google with searching eyes.

Journalist, columnist, anchor person.

Famous for his history research work and going in depth to get the true facts.

Born: 30th May, 1951, Lahore, Pakistan.

Education: Quaid-i-Azam University

Died: 17th December, 2017, Islamabad, Pakistan

Harram wanted to curse out loud. The fate was not at her side today. This article could tell her so much but seemed like it was also removed due to Yahya Duraid's influence. She could do nothing as the columnist was also not in this world anymore.

She was about to close the tab when her eyes fell on the family section of Moazzam Rasool.

Spouse: Kishwer Moazzam

Daughter: Tania Rasool.

Something clicked in Harram's mind. Tania Rasool. A vague picture was forming on Harram's mind.

Tania Rasool. That overconfident, school magazine handling junior from high school.

Harram pushed the laptop aside. Meeting Tania Rasool was on top of her to do list.

___________________