Flashbacks are in Bold*

Margala hills were silent but the city they were surrounding wasn't. The evening buzz was at its peak. The stillness of the hills was blending into the hustle of the city crossing the perimeter of nothingness the hills were famous for. A beam of the silence crossed the threshold and traveled along the moving vehicles on the highway. Somewhere from a car the melodious voice was booming around, translating the unsaid tales of what's buried beneath the superficial beauty of this city.

Wo sahilon pe gaane walay kya hue

Wo kashtiyan chalanay walay kya hue

Where did the singers of shores go?

What happened to the sailors?

Wo subah atay atay reh gayi kahan?

Wo qafile thay anay walay kya hue

Where did that dawn which was to come go

What happened to those caravans which were coming?

Main in ki rah dikhta hu raat bhar

Wo roshni dikhanay walay kya hue?

I await their arrival whole night

Where did those torchbearers go?

Ye kon log hain mere idher udher

Wo dosti nibhane walay kya hue

Who are these people I'm surrounded with?

What happened to those friends who knew the worth of friendship?

Imartein to jal kay rakh ho ho gayin

Imartein bananay walay kya hue

The buildings became ashes

What happened to their builders?

Ye aap hum to bojh hai zameen ka

Zameen ka bojh uthane walay kya hue?

You and I, we are the burden of the soil

What happened to those burden holders of the soil?

Nasir Kazmi

The beam of silence hadn't stopped. It kept on colliding, sometimes with the full of life ambiance and sometimes with hollow truth behind this scenario. It stopped, felt the weight of the secrets this city was holding and fell on the grass close to the white picket fence. The fence didn't bother for it wasn't its duty to know what made that beam so tired of itself. It kept on standing.

The window to the side of the fence opened with a start making Harram and Hamail come out of the silence that had fallen over them. The album in Hamail's hands shook. He took a deep breath and placed it on the table.

"This can be a co incidence. You know Dada has contacts all over Pakistan. Your Nano attending Bhai's birthday party all those years back doesn't seem much to me."

Harram herself was thinking on the same lines. Yahya Duraid and Durdana Khanum could be old acquaintances, where the relation must've taken a wrong turn. This new discovery was making her restless since last night. She hadn't talked to anyone about this. She couldn't just tell her mother. There would be so much explaining involved on her part that Harram dropped the idea. Her only option was Hamail so she had rang him up. He was here now and she had told him about what she had found.

"I know but this just really came to me as a shocker. The woman literally hates your family now. There must be a solid reason."

"You should ask her. Dada will never tell me anything and I can't make him suspicious by asking."

"Yeah, I know. Don't do that. But asking Nano wouldn't be easy as well."

They both again became silent.

"You got anything from the office?"

"No, Nothing yet. They know how to keep their shit under the rug but I'll find out. Soon."

Harram looked sideways not liking the torn expression on his face. They had been best friends all their life. She was like the other part of their duo. If Hamail and Sohaira could convey through facial expressions, Harram knew how to read them and they knew when Harram was feeling what. Both of them were Harram's introduction to Yahya Duraid's family. She had always seen all of them so close knitted. They were the definition of perfect family picture but now that picture had broken and the cracks were not easy to fill. This had come like a blow to Harram so Hamail who was a part of that kin, how difficult it must be for him to get this in his mind that, this was all a sham, that his grandfather and father had brought about the downfall of his brother just because their dirty laundry was on the verge of getting out in public. Zaviyar was out there God knows where. Harram didn't know how he had accepted this ugly face of his close relatives. But Hamail was right in front of her and looking at him Harram knew how torn he was.

"I'm sorry."

Hamail's head shot up to her.

"For what?"

"For doubting on you that day. I didn't intend to but all that came like a shocker to me."

"You don't have to tell me, Harram. Don't explain when all the freaking explaining should come from my own family."

He fisted his hair in his hands showing his frustration on the turn of events.

"You know when we were kids I was always jealous of Bhai because he was Dada and Baba's favourite. I already had to share my love because I had a twin and with Bhai in picture I used to feel like an unwanted child. But that made me aware of one thing, in Duraid house the one kind who'd always have everything he ever wished for was Zaviyar Ali. We grew up and thank god I grew out of that jealousy phase because Bhai turned out to be the figure for me I always used to look up to. The things I could never get Dada and Baba understand, Bhai did it for me. He proved that he was my big brother and there was no space for any negative emotion between us. We bonded well you know."

His eyes were bloodshed. The pain was shining on the surface.

"People used to ask me how it feels to be from one of the most influential political and business family. I used to say it means nothing inside the four walls of our home. We are just like any other family. But guess that's not it. Our own heroes turned to be the villains we were not prepared for."

Hamail took a shuddering breath.

"Dada and Baba not only wronged Bhai but you as well Harram. You need your husband. You baby needs its father. Tayi maa needs her son and I need my brother. I promise you I'll do everything in my power to get to him."

Harram could feel the sincerity in his voice. She nodded trying not to cry in front of him and make all this more difficult.

"I should get going now. Soha and Meeral will come to see you soon. Meeral wanted to know if it was okay?"

The ever considerate Meeral.

"Of course. I could do with my girls around me."

A smile broke out on Hamail's face. He got up to leave for the damned Duraid house while Harram followed suit to see him off. The thoughts of Durdana Khanum and that photo were pushed to the back of their minds and the gloom had taken all the space.

______________________

The dawn arrived bringing nothing new. The same old tales of pain had resurfaced after being in the oblivion whole night. The villains of many life stories were starting their day as if nothing had ever happened. They had woken up but their conscience hadn't. Those who were on a mission to right all the wrongs were planning what to do today. The day was another leaf in the bouquet of melancholy and distress.

Harram rubbed her hair with the towel and stood in front of the mirror. Sohaira and Meeral were arriving before breakfast to spend whole day with her. She didn't mind it. In fact she needed this respite from her monotonous unproductive routine. Doctor had asked her to take rest and both Zara and Khadija were making sure she would. Harram also understood she needed to take care of her baby now that the doctor had warned her how her negligence could cost her more than she could endure. She couldn't lose her baby. She couldn't lose this part of her which was only ray of hope in her bleak dark life.

As she was brushing her hair her eyes scanned her form. Her fourth month of pregnancy was starting in few days and she had started showing up. Though the loose clothing she had started wearing due to her pregnancy did well to hide it. She left the brush and caressed her stomach trying to let her baby know how loved he or her was and how she was going to be so much better at this. It was supposed to be both her and Zaviyar but now since it was only her so the effort will also get doubled.

As she felt her puffed up midriff it got all the more real. She was going to give birth to their baby in just five months. Would be by her side? Would they have overcome all the obstacles or this baby would get no physical and visible interaction to its father once he or she is out in this world?

Harram dropped her hand feeling overwhelmed with the possibilities. None of those seemed nice to ponder much on.

She dropped herself on her bed and tried thinking of something to make this better. Something to hold on to.

Harram rolled her eyes and turning away from the book looked at her shirt clad stomach where a much immersed Zaviyar was lying with his head right on the not yet there bump.

"Will you stop?"

She asked finally getting frustrated.

"I can't feel anything. Are you sure the reports were correct? It could be a just bad guess."

"Two strips, one round to doctor's cabin with all blood and other tests done and a shit load of morning sickness. If this isn't pregnancy I would love to know what your highness thinks it is!"

"But it's totally flat!"

He pointed towards her stomach. Harram was in a dilemma whether to feel offended or burst out laughing at his desperation.

"Who accepted you in army? I want to talk."

"Hey! Army isn't qualified for this stuff."

"Common sense you mean?"

His face was turning flush knowing well he had messed up with his eagerness. Harram dropped her book and getting up wound her arms around his nape from behind resting her head on his shoulder.

"You are so ready to be a father aren't you?"

"I'm. The thought of having someone running around this house just warms my heart. This is the best feeling in the world and I don't want it to go away you know? I want to be sure we are going to get this happiness in our life."

"Of course we are and you, Major you are going to be the best father in this whole world. Mark my words."

She knew why it was important for him. Growing up without his own father and knowing how emotionally and socially draining it was, he wanted his kid to have everything from the time he had gotten to know about her pregnancy. Harram could say how loved this kid was going to be.

"You think so?"

She kissed his cheek sideways.

"I know so."

It was not something she'd see every day. The always contained and controlling of the situation Major Zaviyar Ali had a range of emotions scattered on his face. From anticipation to dread, from happiness to a hint of sadness. He was feeling it all and would keep on feeling so as long as this kid wouldn't be in his arms. Harram vowed she'd made this time period worth it. For both him and herself.

And now it was gone. In the air. Vanished. Harram wiped the tears off her face and walked towards the door. The commotion from outside was telling Sohaira and Meeral had arrived. She needed to put on that brave front. At least for show.

_____________________

Whenever they'd planned their sleepovers or just casual meet ups, they'd always been such joy and fun but now, this gloom and silence surrounding them was telling Sohaira how changed their lives were now. The enormity of the situation was hitting her in waves and she could just sigh knowing too well there was nothing anyone could do to change it.

Meeral's feelings were not different. It hadn't been long since she came to know Harram but they had formed a bonding immediately. Harram was always there to tell her she could fight all odds to be with Hamail and fighting those she did. But the person who's always come out to be so strong, seeing that person all lost and torn is not easy and seeing Harram as a hollow reminder of her old self was not easy for Meeral as well.

"You are taking your medicines on time, right?"

Sohaira asked holding Harram's hand earning a nod from her.

"Then you must be not eating well. Look at yourself! Weakness is so easy to spot."

Harram looked away not wanting to indulge in another lecture on her failing health. She was trying her best and it would take some time to get back to being healthy.

"How's everyone at Duraid House?"

Harram asked the question she was holding herself from asking since the time Sohaira had gotten there.

"The same. Mom's back to being her socially busy self, Dad and Dada are not home most of the times. Tayi maa is recovering. She still cries silently but I try to be there for her as much as I can. Ansa and Naima phupho had come to see you but they didn't know you were gone. When they came to know about the whole situation they were not happy with Dado. "

A heavy silence fell over them. Harram hadn't said anything on this new information. She didn't even want to say anything at all.

"She's ashamed you know."

Sohaira's meek whisper echoed between the three of them.

"She doesn't say it because of her ego but she realizes that she was wrong in assuming things about you and then trying to bind you."

"This doesn't change what she tried to pull, Soha. She suggested something I can never even think of in my nightmares."

"I know. That was low of her and we all accept it but don't be so harsh on the whole family, Harram. We all love you. Not because you are Bhai's wife but because we've known you for so long. Trust me other than Dado no one doubted you and your love and loyalty towards Bhai. And even she regrets it. I do not ask you to forgive her when she's not even asking for forgiveness yet but, I just hope that you won't distance yourself and the baby from us all. We need you and you need us. After all we are a family and it'll be so painful to see you drifting away."

Family? If only she knew there was no family bonding in the first place. Families don't do what her father and grandfather had done to Zaviyar. Harram chose not to comment further or thing would get all the more messed up. Sohaira was just looking out for her family. She didn't know the complex and devastating truth anyway so there was no point in making a racket out of something out of her understanding.

"I'll go and make tea for three of us. I can bet Zara auntie has stored some baked snacks of hers for us. Be right back."

Realizing that Harram wasn't going to be a part of this conversation, Sohaira got up giving this excuse. Closing the door behind with a click she had gone to the kitchen.

"She's just trying to help."

It was the first time Meeral had commented on the situation.

"I know. But right now I don't think going back to the people of Duraid house is fine for me. I need to be alone here with my mother."

"That's your choice and I'm so happy you stood your ground and didn't succumb to what Mrs. Aneesa wanted out of you."

"Thank you, but your face is telling me what you are going to say next is something I'm not going to like."

Meeral coughed not expecting Harram to catch on this so quickly.

"I'm not taking her side but I think I kind of understand where Mrs. Aneesa is coming from."

"Okay, enlighten me."

"Harram, she loves your husband and child and somewhere you as well. Yeah, her way of doing things was wrong but her intentions weren't, you know. She just wants Zaviyar's family close to her because you and this baby is the only legacy Zaviyar is leaving behind. She wants to secure it close to her and for that she took a very wrong approach. When Hamail told me what she had suggested..."

"Ordered!"

Harram cut in.

"Yeah, ordered I was also shocked and livid but then I tried to see what she was trying to do and it made sense to me. She's just scared and when people are scared they do questionable things. She cares for the people around her. This is the way of the people of that house. Yeah, Zaviyar and Hamail are exceptions but rest of them show their care by keeping the people they love close."

"That's not caring, it's caging and love is not love when you want to cage people in."

Meeral was left speechless.

"How can it be care or love when you want to control someone's every movement? You want them to even breathe as you please. Providing them with those gilded golden cages where everything is right in your reach but you can't go out of there unless they deem it right. Controlling. Manipulating. Mrs. Aneesa just wanted to cage me, Meeral. Nothing else."

Meeral tried saying something but the door was opened and Sohaira came in with tea and snacks. Harram had immersed in the talk with Sohaira about what doctor had suggested her to eat but Meeral could only look at her. What caused her to be so bitter towards her in laws? This was beyond Mrs. Aneesa's fiasco because Meeral knew Harram and this version of her was not setting well.

Was there more to the situation than she was told or than everyone knew?

_____________________

The car stopped outside the unfamiliar premises. Harram came out of her thoughts and looked around. Pindi cantonment was bathing in the even calm. The lanes were lined with well-made houses each of which was illuminated. Harram closed the car door behind while Zaviyar was picking up her luggage. She tried taking it from him earning a nod indicating he'll take care of it.

Harram looked at the gate in front of her. The starting point of a new world awaiting her. Where she'd have to adjust and make herself adapted to this life she was going to live from here on. She didn't know if she was ready for it or not. Honestly, at this point she didn't know if she was ready for anything. Things were coming at her with a mind of their own and she was just going with the flow.

Zaviyar was busy unlocking the door when Harram saw an elderly woman with kind but curious features coming towards them.

"Asslam Alaikum, Mrs Hashmi."

Zaviyar greeted without looking up from the task in hand. His casual approach was telling how habitual he was of this.

"Wa alaikum asslam. So you are finally back. Long trip wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was. How's colonel sir?"

"Oh him, Hashmi Sahab is doing fine. He wants to go and see Huzaifa. I straight out refused. Travelling to the states? No! My old fragile bones are not cut out for it."

Harram was eyeing the exchange of words with both amusement and annoyance on her face.

"I was worried when you didn't turn up here after a week. Then I thought why not should I call Khadija? She told me about your marriage. Though I was sad I wasn't invited but let's leave it. Let me meet your wife now."

She immediately moved to Harram who wasn't ready to get in the conversation yet.

"Asslam Alaikum."

She greeted tentatively not liking the idea that Mrs. Hashmi would indulge in another long anecdote of hers.

"Wa Alaikum Asslam. Ma Sha Allah. You are beautiful. You guys make such a beautiful couple. But let me tell you, girl the life of an army man's wife isn't easy to be honest. You come from a non army background right? Just like me. I adjusted with great difficulty but then I just mastered the household life and if you need any help or advice you should know whom to come to. Also..."

"Mrs. Hashmi, I think Harram is tired. We should get inside."

She gave a not so pleased look to Zaviyar.

"Yeah, sure. See you both around and if you need anything just ring the doorbell."

She pointed towards the black gate next door. Zaviyar nodded like an obedient child and opening the gate got inside the house.

The first thing Harram's eyes fell on was a small lawn. The pots alongside the small pavement leading to the main door leading inside were filled with different coloured flowers.

"Mrs. Hashmi has a full time gardener in her house. When I got these flowers I was trying to get one as well but she helped me out here and now her gardener comes here every few days to check up on these."

As Harram had felt the woman was kind but her incessant interest in others' lives and her nonstop lectures were a put off.

"You have given this much freedom in your house to all your neighbors?"

Zaviyar just chuckled in response.

"I know she is not the most accommodating person out there but she is not that bad. I used to dislike her interference in my life as well but you just can't say a straight no to people."

Terrece. Him. Her. His refusal. Her pain.

It all came flashing in front of her eyes.

"Rich, coming from you."

She whispered but he had heard it. Not wanting to look at him anymore she stood to the side while he opened the small door. His features had hardened. Served him right.

The door led them to a tv lounge. To the right Harram could see two closed doors. To the left kitchen and then stairs leading to the floor above were present. By the looks the house was well taken care of.

"I have a house help who come here three times a week for cleaning purposes. It's not my doing."

He pointed towards the clean furniture and flooring. Harram didn't comment. Zaviyar opened the first door which was the bedroom. Puling her luggage into it he placed the suitcases in a corner. She hadn't protested. This wasn't a soap opera where she'd go the typical sudden marriage route and insist on staying in the guest or separate room. They were married and no matter how unwelcoming the fact was, she wasn't going to start this on a wrong footing.

This was her secret wish. The prayer she had asked from Almighty so many times. But now when she had gotten it, she didn't want it. The pain of being unwanted and just a trophy for a person for having a good heart was excruciating.

He rejected her when he was asked if he wanted to marry her and married her when he was not even in the picture. For him she was may be a damsel in distress who needed him to save the day but that wasn't true she knew and she had to made him understand that as well. If he was feeling all high and mighty helping her like a charity case then he better be ready for a reality check.

"Coffee?"

Zaviyar asked after putting the stuff in the room. Khadija had told them to not order anything as she'd send dinner with Hamail. They both had come out of Duraid House after lunch so right now none of them was hungry.

"No."

She refused. It reminded her of how he had refused when she had asked him if he loved her even a bit. She was may be crazy, comparing such a big thing to this nonsensical question of having coffee but may be in his life at that time, this question had only that much of importance. You love me? No. You want coffee? No.

And now here she was, in his house, as his wife and about to start a new life. Such a joke life had played with her. She could stand her ground, tell her parents that she didn't want this. And he did try telling them but they were after all parents of a daughter no matter elite of middle class setting. This was desi system and here a man can leave as many women as he wants to but the women have to pay the debt all their lives. Her parents had saved her from such a life and she didn't have any objection on their sentiments. She wasn't even angry with Sahil and Zaviyar? She felt nothing towards him. No gratitude, nothing.

Love? May be not even that. There was a silent ocean in her heart which was not letting any tide on the surface. As calm as a full moon night on the surface of water is. As blank as the canvass of a painter is when he is contemplating what to fill colors into.

"Here you go."

Harram hadn't realized when lost in her own thoughts she had walked to the backyard. Now she was leaning against a raised step. The piping hot mug cup of tea was in front of her. So he knew she was a tea person? She told him she didn't want the coffee but here he was with the tea. It resonated with how they had gotten married.

"Life here is going to be so much changed from what you've lived so far. You'll have to adjust. I'll have to too. But we both can try and make it work hun?"

His tone was friendly. Harram raised an eyebrow and then folded her arms on her chest.

"That is secondary. Right now we should be talking about something else."

He had an idea what she was going to say. He had braced himself.

"So, first of all tell me how does it feel to get the same girl in your life you once didn't want to do anything with?"

Zaviyar took a deep breath.

"Look, Harram..."

"No, you look and listen. You played the hero, congratulations to you but keep one thing in your mind, I didn't ask for it. I had myself asked Sahil to go follow his heart."

"I know. I was there."

"Then why did you marry me? Why would you marry someone you never intended to even spare a thought of marrying? Let me make this very clear, Major Zaviyar Ali. I owe you nothing."

"I but I owed myself this."

His sentence had evoked a heavy silence in the evening. He gave a lingering look to Harram and taking long strides was out of there. Harram was a confused mess whose heart had given a faint flutter.

The night had completely fallen over. Hamail had come with the dinner and had gone as well. The dinner had been taken. Zaviyar had gone to bed and soon Harram had also followed suit.

Maybe it was the dread of her first night in this house, maybe it was the fault of her jumbled up mind or maybe it was because of the person sleeping next to her. No matter what it was but Harram couldn't sleep. She turned towards him whose even breathing was an indication he was fast asleep. How easy it was for him. But she wasn't that lucky. All her anger and frustration took a back seat that moment. She was just focusing on this face. Slowly she put her arm close to his chest. It was just a way to tell herself that someone was there close to her and she could sleep peacefully.

What he did next was unexpected for her. The hand that was just few inches away from him, he held it and bringing it close to his heart took a deep breath and became calm again.

Harram tried slipping her hand out of his hold but she'd soon realized she couldn't. Sighing, she dropped her head on the pillow.

"I'll never be able to understand you, Zaviyar. You'll always be an enigma to me."

Chand Meri Tarah Pighalta Raha

Neend Main Saari Raat Chalta Raha

The moon, like me, kept waning

The moon, like me, restless, all night

Parveen Shakir

__________________________

Hamail closed the file and extended it towards Ismail who was already waiting for him to explain the points. Today, after coming back from an important meeting in Lahore, Ismail was back home and to his pleasant surprise, Hamail was already there in the office managing everything like a responsible son.

"I'm glad you are finally serious about joining the business."

Hamail had always shown his reluctance towards managing this family business. The insistence of Yahya and Ismail's part and the confidence Zaviyar had always shown in him had worked but not that effectively. Hamail always wanted to have his own identity and he was working towards it as well which was never liked by his family. They were always of the view that with Zaviyar in army and Hamail making new ways for himself who'll take this forward? Sohaira had no interest in business at all so there was no point in indulging her in it. But Ismail was happy after much persuasion on their part Hamail was finally here.

"Seems like I didn't have any other option."

His reply was not biting in anyway but the shift in his body language couldn't go unnoticed by Ismail.

"You did the right thing by talking to your grandfather about your marriage. I'm sure he's not that mad anymore but I wish you had come to me that time. It's kind of painful knowing that even Gull knew about your Nikkah but I wasn't aware."

"Zaviyar Bhai took her in confidence. May be he felt she would be easy to go on board than you, given the fact you can't do anything without letting Dada know."

"Are you taunting me?"

"I'm just telling you what it is, Baba."

"Still you've trusted me. As you said I can't go on without telling anything to Baba Jaan, in this way I might have made him understand."

"Could you?"

"I could always try, son."

Something bitter had spread in Hamail's mouth which couldn't be spat out nor could be swallowed. He got the file from Ismail's hand with a tight smile and got up to leave. His whole task was to keep an eye on his father today and so far he hadn't found anything.

"Hamail?"

"Yes, Baba?"

"Your Dada and I, well we both think you should take Meeral to Duraid house. She's our daughter in law after all and we don't abandon our relations."

Somewhere irony laughed.

"I think not. Let her stay where she is. She's not ready to live in a joint family and honestly I'm also not comfortable with this."

"We are your family, Hamail!"

"I haven't forgotten, Baba. But this should be our decision. When we'll feel like it, we'd be there."

His off tone was blaring alarms around Ismail but he ignored them. It was all his paranoia only.

As Hamail came out of his father's cabin he felt like escaping a dungeon. How few truths make you wry of your own people. He leaned against the wall when his eyes found the upcoming figure of Sheraz.

Sheraz Razi was weird personality in this office. He wasn't Yahya Duraid's PA, no that wouldn't describe his work. He was Yahya Duraid's right arm. The person who was always around Yahya no matter what. Hamail had been seeing him for so long. There was something off about the guy but Hamail could never pinpoint what.

"Looking tired already, Prince."

The same scoffing tone. Hamail hated it.

"Working does that to a person but why am I telling you this? Licking my grandfather's shoes isn't that much of a work is it?"

The same old sass which ran in the blood. Sheraz thought bitterly.

"Easy there. I was just trying to sympathize with you. Taking care of a marriage and now working 9-5. All of this must be exhausting given the fact Daddy's prince never gotten out of his comfort zone and saw how the real world works."

Throwing a wicked smile Hamail's way, Sheraz knocked at Ismail's cabin and getting the cue went inside closing the door behind. Hamail stood there confused.

As far as he knew no one outside of Duraid family and Harram knew about his marriage with Meeral. In the office no even a single soul knew. Yahya Duraid was very particular about his family's reputation among his employees. He wouldn't let them know his grandson had married secretly without informing any of them. But Sheraz knew it and this had piqued Hamail's interest. If a mere employee did know such a private family detail there was no point in guessing he knew about other details as well. It was just a guess but there was no harm in trying to see how right it was.

Sheraz Razi had gotten himself on the list of suspects.

______________________

Harram was sprawled on her bed. It's been another day where she was not sure how far Colonel Bukhari or Waleed had gone and if they had gotten any leads on Zaviyar. Hamail had briefed her about his doubts about Sheraz Razi and he was looking more into it. The progress was slow and Harram was getting impatient. She was often told that the people against them were biggest guns of this country but what should she tell her impatient heart who couldn't stop yearning to see just one face, touch just one hand, and embrace just those arms.

But cooperating with them was her only option now and she was trying to do it as much as she could.

The ringing of her phone drew her attention. A smile reached her lips seeing the caller ID.

"Aalee, how are you?"

"Wa alaikum asslam you eager one. Yes, I'm good. You tell me about yourself."

Harram bit her tongue but then shook her head.

"I'm good. How are my other two dumbasses doing?"

"Fine I guess. One is busy in preparing for finals while the other is stuck in university projects."

"And you?"

"Don't even ask. I have an important meeting schedule tomorrow at lunch and Ammi has just told me Nano's monthly checkup is also tomorrow."

"Send her and Sana auntie with the driver you know."

"We aren't allowed to let them go somewhere alone. You see the rivals tribes around aren't to be trusted so we don't take risks this way. That's why one of us brothers or Baba always comes with them."

"Oh...now?"

"Now I'll try to postpone the meeting. Chances are slim. I can't ask Hassan. He's busy in his university matters."

"Where your meeting is?"

"Islamabad only."

"Problem solved. You take Nano and auntie here. I have a weekly checkup scheduled as well. I'll go with them. You attend your meeting and then come here. We'll have lunch together and then you can take both back to Haveli."

Aalee was reluctant.

"But Harram..."

"Come on, Aalee. The whole problem is them travelling alone from Haveli to here right? You'll be there with them. And from there on I'll take charge. We can work this out you know."

"We can I know but you are yourself not well..."

"I'm not sick, idiot. Just a bit weak. So no uts and buts. You are taking Auntie and Nano here tomorrow and then like a good kid you'll attend your meeting. Okay?"

"Okay, mom."

"Good boy."

They talked some more for some time. Harram liked this change in her life. She was closer than ever to her brothers. Zaviyar had made sure she stayed connected to her kin and these days it was proving to be such a blessing. How many times she'd thank Almighty for sending Zaviyar in her life and how many times that prayer of gratitude would turn into a helpless cry to get him back? She had no idea.

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Working nonstop for these monsters had never tired Palwisha out. She had long stopped feeling the nonsensical sensations of tiredness, sadness or just being herself. But right now, stirring the gravy for the lunch her mind was oscillating between her options and Zaviyar's words. She knew escaping from here was almost impossible. And she wasn't even going to try. She never had. But that young man was so confident and so full of hope. Even after so much. Even after being subjected to this ill fate by his own family, he wasn't giving up on hope. This was reminding him from a figment of her past. A memory which was still as vivid as it was all those years back.

"Whenever it'll come to siding by right and doing what I must, I'll always do more than I'm expected to not because I want to show off but because in this world good people are scarce and if we come across one we should do anything for his or her goodness to reach further."

The words had echoed around her turning everything in a reverberation of what was said. She took a deep breath trying to contain her tears. She always used to tell herself that she was done crying. Twenty five years is a long period and she couldn't cry anymore but every time a memory hit her, she'd be a mess for days.

"Maai! Ghiyas bhai is asking for you."

A voice outside of the small kitchen made her straightened. Shutting the stove off, she got up and walked towards the main room which was the kind of a head quarter here. Ghiyas-Ud-Deen was in command here. A sturdy man with hard features and gruff voice.

"Maai! Clean up the room."

He ordered as soon as she had entered inside. Nodding she got to work. He had fallen back in conversation with the people around him in a language she didn't understand. But by the looks of it she could tell they had just finished a meeting where they had planned something. The map of the area spread on the table was an indication. Still immersed in their talks, the men got up leaving the room. Palwisha was almost done with cleaning the room when she stopped grazing at the map in front of her.

Should she?

She should.

The voice inside her heart and mind voiced out together. Silently she rolled it and hid it well behind her long chadar.

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As planned Aalee had taken Sana and Nano to Zara's house and from there on the ladies had drove towards the hospital. Harram had walked towards her doctor's cabin while Sana had taken Durdana Khanum to her physician.

Aalee was there attending his meeting and all of them had gotten back home. The doctor was much satisfied with Harram's progress and had asked her to keep on doing what she was doing.

Right now all of them were sitting in the living room enjoying evening tea and snacks.

"Thank you so much, Zara. This was so kind of you to come along with us."

"You don't have to thank me, Khanum. It was the least I could do."

Harram was looking intently at Nano's face. The photograph was swirling back in her mind. Should she ask her? Was it Allah's way of getting her closer to the answers she was seeking.

Durdana Khanum was being taken towards the guest room and Harram felt this was her opportunity.

"Auntie, I'll take Nano towards her room."

Sana patted her cheek and took a step back. Harram showed the old woman the way hoping that this would come out fruitful.

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Main to maqtal mein bhi qismat ka sikandar nikla

Qura e faal mere naam ka aksar nikla

I proved to be lucky even when I was standing at gallows

The draw took my name many times

Tha jinhe zaem wo darya bhi mujhi hi mein doobe

Main kay sehra nazar ata tha samundar nikla

Those who were proud also got lost in me

I used to look like a sand castle I came to be the ocean

Sheher walon ki mohabbat ka main qatil hu magar

Maine jis haath ko chooma wohi khanjar nikla

I'm the killer of the love my people gave me

But the hand I held came out to be a dagger

Tu yahin har gya hai mere buzdil dushman

Mujh se tanha kay muqabil tera lashkar nikla

You lose here my coward enemy

I was alone and you send out an army

Main kay sehra e mohabbat ka musafir tha Faraz

Ek jhonka tha kay khushboo kay safar par nikla

I'm the traveller of the desert of love

Like a gust of wind out on the journey of fragrance

Ahmed Faraz

"You are quiet today."

Palwisha commented untying his ropes. Zaviyar didn't say anything. There wasn't much he could say anyway. He was not even close to devising a plan of getting out of here and this was messing up his mind.

Palwisha made him stand on his feet. He calmly pushed her arms away telling her he could do this on his own. She shrugged her shoulders and took a step back.

"I'm not that useless yet."

She smiled and looking around slowly brought out the map from under her chadar.

"Turns out you aren't useless at all. The person who can make me do this is anything but useless."

He scowled at the piece of papers and on realizing what it was he immediately took it out from her hands. Palwisha's eyes were stuck at the door making sure they were not being watched.

"Hurry up!"

She hissed but stopped short seeing the smile on Zaviyar's face.

"Anything funny on here?"

"Yes, My grandfather got me here thinking it would be difficult for me escape from here. Little did he know I have spent three years of my captain military life surrounded by these hills. Touche."

Palwisha didn't know how to react. These grandfather and grandson were surely giving each other hard time.

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Harram pulled the duvet over Durdana Khanum and sat down on the foot of the bed. For a moment she didn't even know how to start this conversation but somehow she had to.

"You are a nice young woman, Harram."

Durdana Khanum had herself given her the chance.

"I was quick to judge you which was wrong on my part."

"It's okay, Nano. But there must be a reason for your abhorrence towards me?"

"Not you. Your in laws. I can't stand those people."

"Can I ask why?"

"Because they are Yahya Duraid's family."

"What did he do to you?"

Durdana Khanum was quiet.

"Nano? What did he do to earn so much hate?"

There was a deep silence. Durdana looked up at Harram with tears welled up in her eyes. Harram was taken aback.

"Nano...."

"Because he is a killer, Harram. A killer."

The beam of silence that had fell down on the ground close to picket fence days back, fluttered.

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