unedited

EIGHT. SEEING SPENCER

AS THE DAYS PASSED, RHEA'S VISITS BECAME LONGER AND MORE FREQUENT. At first, the meals she'd left had gone untouched, but soon they were slowly being pecked at by the man in isolation. Her spirit lifted ever so slightly when she'd seen a neat corner cut out of the pasta melt, or half-empty Tupperware box left just outside the door. 

It had been over a week now since Maeve had died. Rhea had visited him every single day without fault. She had come and gone initially, but started sitting outside, just in case he wanted some form of company. She didn't necessarily talk, but she leaned against the door and stared out the window of the building, watching the odd plane fly by. She knew his team couldn't be there all the time, so she made an effort to go as much as she could. 

It made her feel good, having someone to care about. 

"Spencer?" she knocked on the door softly, knowing he'd hear it. He was probably sprawled on the hardwood floors or sitting by the door, craving physical contact but mentally unable to interact with others. "I've got your dinner. It's not as much as I gave you last time since you didn't finish it...but it says online that it's pretty filling."

She put the paper bag between all of the other gift baskets like she usually did then lowered herself to the ground in her usual place. Her watch told her that it was nearly six in the evening, so she reached into her handbag and pulled out her grade book. She was behind on marking, but she still wanted to make sure Spencer was being taken care of. Just before she was about to begin working, she pursed her lips and tried to think of what to say.

"Katie's been asking about you," she said, twirling her ball-point between her fingers. "She wanted me to tell you that she misses your visits, and that she's finished her poem for class. It's really sweet, actually; you mean the world to that kid."

She heard a small rustle from the other side of the door. A sad smile played at her face, and she pulled the photocopy of Katie's poem out of her book, looking down at the small drawing that accompanied the text. It was a doodle of Katie, Spencer, Louis and herself. Her and Louis were in in the middle, looking up at the adults, who were surrounded by small pictures of the planet, animals and cute little math equations. It made Rhea's heart swell, and she hoped that maybe it would bring Spencer some joy as well. 

"Keep in mind she's a seven year old who hates creative writing, but here we go: Math is a lot of fun, it helps me get the job done. I was the only one who liked to add, but then Doctor Spencer came along, and I stopped being sad," she recited, her voice catching at the end. God, she felt so bad for Spencer.  She rested her head against the door frame and sighed softly. "She wants to be a profiler for Halloween, you know."

There was another shuffle on the other side of the wall, and Rhea watched the knob slowly start to turn. She jumped up in surprise, gripping the poem in one hand and brushing the dust off her pants with the other. Her grade book cluttered to the floor, a soft thud sounding as it hit the wood. She didn't notice.

The door opened for what seemed like the first time in a while, and Rhea came face to face with an emotionally destroyed man. His hair was unwashed and tangled, his stubble was unkempt, and he wore a dressing gown that hung loosely from his thin body. Her heart shattered inside her chest at the very sight.

"Hi," she said softly, trying not to seem too pitiful, when in reality she just wanted to bundle him up and keep him safe from any further harm. 

"Hi," he whispered. He wasn't looking at her. His dark eyes were focused on the poem in her hands. He swallowed, as if trying to figure out how to speak again after having gone so long without interaction.  "C...Can I see that?"

Rhea nodded and handed it over to him, their fingers brushing against each other. He was so cold. It only worried her more. She watched as he read the two sentences over and over, his eyes glistening with salt water. Reaching down, she picked up his dinner and offered it to him. "Have you been eating?"

Spencer sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "Uh, not really. Not until you started dropping off meals."

She nodded. That was the answer she expected. "Do you need anything, anything at all?"

Spencer was quiet, his fingers tight around Katie's poem. He was looking at it like it was some sort of anchor to ground him back to earth. He cleared his throat to stop himself from bursting into tears, his bottom lip trembling. "Can I have a hug, please?"

"Of course," as soon as Rhea said the words, he dove forward and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Rhea responded without hesitation, one hand around his neck and the other in his hair. His shoulders began to shake, so she started rocking him back and forth, gently shushing him. "I've got you, Spencer. I've got you."

He held her tighter. Soon, she felt her skin get wet from his tears, and she started to get emotional too. 

They stood like that in his doorway for several minutes, Rhea refusing to let go until he did. It was his hug. He could hold on for as long as he wanted. 

When he did pull away, Rhea reached into her pocket and handed him a tissue, which he accepted wordlessly. He viciously wiped his eyes to the point where Rhea wanted to reach out and stop him, but she didn't know if she should. 

"Do you want to help me with my marking?" she offered, looking down at her dropped book. Spencer was initially unsure, but it was clear that now he'd had physical contact, he didn't want to be alone anymore. 

So, he nodded and opened the door wider. Rhea piled her things into her arms and stepped inside, trying not to react to the trashed apartment. Books were scattered across the floor, glass was shattered and furniture was toppled over. Anger - the second stage of guilt. 

Looking back at Spencer, she wondered what stage he was in now. From the looks of it; depression. 

He hung his head and shuffled over to the sofa after shutting the door, lying down and covering his eyes. Rhea put her things down and went to the kitchen, where she put his dinner in the refrigerator. She then started doing the dishes, which startled the doctor a little. "What are you doing?"

"I can't mark my kids' stuff when it smells like something died in here," she called over her shoulder. She didn't hear a response, so she continued what she was doing until the sink was empty and the dishwasher was full and turned on. Then, she moved to the floor, where shards of porcelain and glass were threatening to stab her feet. 

"You don't need to do this," Spencer's voice was painfully raspy. It was painful for him to speak. "I don't need taking care of."

Rhea paused, looking up at him. He was watching her from the couch, his dark eyes filled with an indecipherable emotion. She shrugged. "I know. But you're my friend, and friends help each other."

His brow twitched. "We're friends?"

Rhea feigned offence, bringing her hand to her chest. "Ouch."

With no further objections, she kept cleaning until there was a clear path through the room. Then she returned to Spencer, and they marked some math homework for a little bit. She asked him if he had a washing machine and he said yes, but he had a specific laundry routine. She said that she'd be happy to learn, and the thought of having clean clothes for the first time in a while convinced the man that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. 

That was how their Friday night went. Rhea tidied Spencer's depression cave and took short breaks to keep him occupied. Being able to help him made her happier, and soon enough he'd gotten into the shower while she remade his bed. 

He had cried under the running water, and had convinced himself that he was being quiet enough. Rhea heard him from the bedroom and swallowed her sympathy, tucking in his clean sheets. There was no telling how long he'd be in mourning, or if he'd ever stop doing so. 

But for now, they'd made progress. She was inside his apartment, clearing out the hurt and anger so that he had space to breathe. She kept the book 'The Narrative of John Smith' out on the coffee table, as that seemed to be the one item that had been carefully taken care of throughout the chaos. She was right, as when Spencer emerged in a fresh set of clothes, he sat back on the couch and reached for the novel, holding it tight in his grip. 

He hardly looked up when Rhea walked over with a warm bowl of soup. He took it with a soft 'thank you', before scooting over so that she could sit beside him. It was nearing midnight, but neither had noticed. 

A comfortable silence settled over them, Spencer slowly consuming his food while Rhea returned to her work, pressing stickers to completed homework and writing positive comments in the margins of the students' books. He found peace in the sound of her pen scribbling against the paper and the peeling of the adhesive pictures from her little sticker book. 

He finally glanced over, and she paused what she was doing. "Everything okay?"

He managed a slight smile. "It's better."

She smiled back. "I'm glad. Let me know when you want me out of your hair, alright?"

Spencer bit down on his lip anxiously, the sinking feeling in his gut returning at the thought of being alone once more. "Actually...do you mind staying a while? It's nice having someone around. Y-you don't have to if you don't want to, it's just-"

Rhea nodded as if it were no trouble. It wasn't to her, and he actually believed it. "Of course."

Spencer moved a little, as if he wanted another embrace. But he didn't know if they were close enough for that. Rhea noticed, and reached out to put her hand on top of his. He took that as a sign of consent, and fell back so that he could lean against her shoulder. Her hands fell to his hair, and after what felt like years, his eyes began to close. 

It wasn't a solution, but the brief spout of peace meant the entire world. 

★☆

aw

also this is gonna be a  s l o w burn so get ready lmfao

but like,,, kinda fluff

also trusting relationships need time to build but i think these two rascals are off to a pretty good start!!!!!