"So let me get this straight, you're NOT afraid of turtles?"
Shazad asked Phoenix.

"Of course not! That would be ridiculous."
The red head replied.

"But you're afraid of small, adorable creatures?"
She concluded narrowing her eyes.

"Yes! Exactly!"

"That doesn't exactly make your situation any better Phoenix. By now everyone in Middle Earth knows about "Turtle Boy."

Phoenix tilted his head to the side, completely and utterly confused.
"Turtle Boy? What's that?"

Shazad took out her phone and pulled up YouTube.
"It's what they're all calling you."

Phoenix watched in horror as a video of himself running and screaming with a tiny turtle cleaning to his back played out in front of him.

"You're the new internet sensation Phoenix, and not in a good way."
Shazad really did feel bad for Phoenix, running around the bugst party of the year in blind terror because of a little turtle named Pita was clinging to your back would not be easy to live doen, especially for a prince of Mirkwood. People seemed to expect a lot out of the royal family of elves for some reason.

"Who could have done such a thing?!" Phoenix suddenly demanded, startling Shazad which almost made her drop her duffle bag type thing that she still had with her.

"What? Upload the video onto YouTube?"
She guessed.

"YES! WHO DID IT?!?!"

Phoenix studied Shazad's phone until he found what he sought, the name of the one who uploaded the video.

"LEGOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

All the way on the other side of the party Legolas stiffened in fear.

"What's wrong Legolas?"
Caramiriel asked.

She, Erin, Rowen, and Thaladir were hanging out and all four noticed how panicky Legolas was all of a sudden.

"Sorry guys but I've gotta run! Like seriously run!!!!!"

Without another word of explanation Legolas took off running.

"Well, that was odd."
Thaladir commented.

Erin leaned over to Rowen and whispered, "This has to do with Phoenix, I just know it."

Rowen smiled and held up a hand, "Any moment now...."

Erin counted down, "Three... Two... One"

"YOU'RE ORC MEAT LEGOLAS THRANDUILION!!!!!"

Phoenix came charging through the crowd in a flurry of enraged fury.

Caramiriel and Thaladir watched him race by in shock, while Erin and Rowen grinned mischievously at each other.

"This is going to be awesome!"
Erin raced off to go watch the fun.

"Wait for me!"
Rowen called following after her.

"Come on, do those hobbits seriously think that Thranduil is going to allow his sons to fight in the middle of a party? Oh wait..."
Thaladir glanced sideways at Caramiriel who was grinning from ear to ear in excitement.

"Last one there kisses an orc."
With that Caramiriel ran with Thaladir racing behind her.

Meanwhile Legolas had gone to the one person whom he knew would protect him no matter what. His faithful friend, his sworn brother, the one whom he trusted more than anyone, as long as he remained with him he would be safe.

"If you think I'm going to get involved in this Legolas you're as crazy as Gollum."

"But Aragorn! We're supposed to look after each other, we're bros remember?! And bros help each other out!"

Aragorn groaned and rubbed his forehead. Why did people always come to him to fix things? Wasn't there anyone else who could solve Middle Earth's problems?

"Legolas, if you antagonised your brother to the point where a violent response is necessary, than you have to suck it up and face it like an elf."

"BUT ARAGORN IT'S PHOENIX!!!!!"

"And?"

"HE'S CRAZY!!!!!"

"You're not exactly normal yourself."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?"

"Wasn't it you who was prancing around on Caradhras saying that you were going to find the sun?"

"I WAS NOT PRANCING!!! I WAS RUNNING ON TOP OF SNOW!!!!"

"Well sorry that I was too busy trying to help our friends get off the mountain instead of showing off."

"I WAS NOT SHOWING OFF!!!! I WAS JUST DOING MY ELF THING!!!!"

"Then elves are show offs."

"I CAN'T HELP IT IF I WAS BORN AN ELF!!!!"

"I was raised by elves but you don't see me doing ridiculous stunts to show off how awesome I am."

"I WAS JUST TRYING TO STOP THE BAD GUYS!!!! AND WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME LIKE THIS ANYWAY?!?!? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS!!!!"

"Because all your shouting has allowed Phoenix to find you easier."

All the color drained from Legolas' face.

Aragorn patted him sympathetically on the shoulder.
"Good luck buddy."

"LEGOLAS!"

Phoenix appeared just as Aragorn conveniently disappeared.

Legolas faced his brother and by then a crowd had gathered to watch the fight of the century and were already taking bets on who the winner was going to be.

"Why'd you do it Legolas?! Why?! What did I ever do to you?!" Phoenix shouted.

"Well for one thing you once replaced all of my arrows with plungers."
Legolas pointed out narrowing his eyes.

"That was a harmless prank! You got all your arrows back eventually!"

"You hypnotized me into believing that I was a dwarf and sent me to live in Erebor for a year."

"At least the dwarves didn't kick you out! They actually enjoyed having you around!"

"You sold me on eBay for a dollar and ada had to buy me back for a million."

"At least he got you back right?"

"You cut my hair and sent me into a mid life crisis where I was insecure with who I was and I lost my mind."

"Okay that one was bad."

"THEY WERE ALL BAD!!!!!"

"NOT AS BAD AS WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!!"

"I UPLOADED ONE EMBARRASSING VIDEO OF YOU!!!!"

"I WAS HUMILIATED!!!!!!!"

"YOU ARE AN INSECURE ELFLING!!!!!"

"TAKE IT BACK YOU POINTY EARED PRINCESS!!!!"

"WHY DON'T WE FIGHT INSTEAD OF SHOUT AT EACH OTHER?!?!?!"

"SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!!!!!"

*Legolas and Phoenix charge at each other and clash in the middle of the circle everyone made. There's lots of hair pulling, name calling, punching, kicking, biting, hitting, beating, tickling, pause for quick rest, more hair pulling, more name calling, more punching, more kicking, more biting, more hitting, more beating, more tickling, another pause for a quick rest, even more hair pulling, even more name calling, even more punching, even more kicking, even more biting, even more hitting, even more beating, even more tickling, and suddenly both elves are hanging upside in midair with very horrified looks on their faces*

"WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU ARE DOING?!?!?"
Thranduil demanded using the Force to keep his sons suspended upside down in the air.

"HE STARTED IT!!!!"
Both Legolas and Phoenix shouted at the same time pointing at each other.

"For goodness' sake can the two of you go even one day without fighting?"

Legolas and Phoenix glanced at each other awkwardly before answering, "No."

Thranduil let out a very long and very frustrated sigh.
"Well, at least you two can agree on something..."

The Jedi Master let his sons drop onto the ground before addressing the gathered crowd and using the Jedi Mind Trick to make them all forget what they just saw.

(Lindir was doing the same to those out of Thranduil's range, no one could know that Jedi existed in Middle Earth. Why? I don't have to tell you. 😁)

"Come on, we're leaving. Party's over."

Everyone groaned, although they were more surprised that Thranduil the Party King was the one calling off the party."

"OH NO IT'S NOT!!!"

Everyone turned to where Pippin was standing triumphantly on top of a large box holding a megaphone in his hand.

Looking behind him the hyperactive hobbit shouted, "FILI! KILI! DO THE THING!!!!"

There was the sound of a fuse being lit, and everyone knew exactly what was coming.

"ABANDON YOUR POSTS!"
Denethor shouted showing up suddenly.
"FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"FOR ONCE I AGREE WITH HIM!"
Gandalf added also showing up suddenly.
"FLY YOU FOOLS!"

No one had to be told twice as the terrified Middle Earthians ran for the hills.

Meanwhile Pippin was laughing as he shouted into the megaphone, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! AND TO ALL A PIPPIN NEW YEAR!!!!"

There was a whistling noise....

The smell of smoke in the air.....

And then.....

KABLOOIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYONE DIED!!!!!

The End