(A/N Admit it, we all want this to be a real thing.)

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Location: Mirkwood
Precise Location: Thranduil's Palace
Date: A Couple Of DaysAfter Rivendell Party
Time: Way Too Early To Be Out Of Bed

Phoenix yawned as he stepped into the stables where his father has asked to meet him.

"Did you have to *yawn* wake me up so early *bigger yawn* dad?"
"I can't have anyone see or hear what I'm about to tell you."
Thranduil replied tapping his foot impatiently.

"But Fabulous is in here."*
Phoenix nodded his head towards the said elk who was sleeping fabulously on some straw.

"Fabulous would never reveal secret information that she knows I don't want told."
Phoenix rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else regarding the elk.

"So why am I here anyway?"
Thranduil looked around once again to make sure no one was listening. When he was confident that no one was around he began to explain.

"Son, there is something you should know about me that I had hoped that I would never have to tell you."
"You dye your hair blonde cause you're actually a red head like me?"
"What?! No! Of course not!"

"Then how come in that yearbook I found you had red hair? And Legolas once said that mom said that you were in fact born a ginger."

"You can't trust anything your older brother says. He's crazy and often unsure of his role in life."

Nice to know what you really think about your son.

"Anyway we're getting off topic. Please Phoenix this is very important so no more interuptions."

Phoenix pretended to zip his lips shut and he waited for his father to speak.

"There's no quick and easy way to say this so I'm just going to hesitate dramatically for a moment and then tell you."

Thranduil hesistated dramatically for a moment and finally shared what he wanted to tell his son.

"I am a Jedi."*
Phoenix blinked once and unzipped his lips.
"What the Mordor is a Jedi?"
"First of all watch your language son. Second of all how do you not know what a Jedi is?"

"Um, because I spend my time in my room on my computer or pranking Legolas and half the time I'm not really paying attention to anything."

"Ok speaking of pranks what you did in Rivendell was unacceptable."
"Oh come on dad! It was a harmless firework."
"THAT COMPLETELY COVERED RIVENDELL AND EVERYONE IN IT WITH PINK PAINT AND RAINBOW GLITTER!"

Phoenix shrank back before recomposing himself.
"At least it was all washable right? No harm done."
"EVERYONE WAS ABLE TO WASH THE PAINT AND GLITTER OFF EXCEPT FOR LEGOLAS!"

"Only his hair is pink and glittery. It washed off everywhere else."
Thranduil groaned.
"Why can't you leave your brother's hair alone? He had a complete emotional breakdown when you cut it just imagine what he's going to do this time!"

"He can always borrow your Ice Cold Elf Hair Dye©."
Thranduil started steaming but managed to calm himself down before he did anything rash.

"Alright Phoenix, the reason why you're here is because since I am a Jedi it makes sense that my children can probably use the Force too."

"Force? Is that when you-"
"Don't interupt."
Phoenix decided to take his words to heart.

"Anyway, the Force is this thing that some people can and can't use on Middle Earth there has only been one known Jedi but I don't remember who was or if he is even still alive. I was the first one to realize that I could use the Force so I trained and became a Jedi here on Middle Earth."

"One day I was visiting Rivendell and I felt a disturbance in the Force. Turns out there was someone else there that could use the Force too."

"And that someone was me!"
Phoenix screamed really loud and high pitched as Lindir appeared out of no where.

"Thranduil realized that I could use the Force so he took me as his Apprentice! Or Padawan, I'm not sure which one is proper. Anyway, he trained me until I earned the title of Jedi Knight."

Lindir smiled proudly while Phoenix stared in complete confusion.

"What?"
Thranduil ignored his son's confusion and continued.
"After Lindir was trained we continued to search for other Force wielders in Middle Earth. We actually couldn't find anyone until-"

"Until I came along!"
Another un-elflike scream came from Phoenix as Pippin appeared.

The hobbit laughed and high fived Lindir while Thranduil rolled his eyes.

"This is why I am a Jedi Master and you two are only knights."
"That's just because you're boring and don't know how to have fun."
Pippin stated crossing his arms.
"You also dye your hair."
Lindir added.

Both he and Pippin started snickering while Thranduil drilled them with a death glare.

"I. Do. Not. Dye. My. Hair."
"Keep telling us that Thrandy."
Lindir and Pippin were now laughing histerically.

Thranduil sighed and waved his hand in front of their faces.
"You will forget that I dye my hair."
"We will forget that you dye your hair."

Lindir and Pippin said in unison.
"So you DO dye your hair!"
Phoenix exclaimed.

*Thranduil does Jedi Mind Trick (JMT) again but on Phoenix. Everyone forgets that he dyes his hair except for the narrator.*

*I forget that he dyes his hair.*

*Thranduil does JMT to the readers so that they forget
too.*

"Now Phoenix, since you are my son you have the ability to use the Force and if you like, you can be trained to be a Jedi."

Lindir and Pippin looked at him eagerly while Phoenix considered what this would mean for him.

"What exactly can I do with the Force?"
"Classified unless you agree to training."
Lindir stated.
"Why don't you ask Legolas if he wants to be trained?"
Phoenix asked.

Pippin snorted.
"Trust me, if Legolas was trained to use the Force he'd probably end up joining the Dark Side."

"And then possibly a Sith Lord."
Lindir added.
Pippin gasped as a truly epic plot unfolded in his mind.
"And then Thranduil is forced to face his son in a terrible battle in which he is injured beyond help and Phoenix (after becoming a Jedi) must avenge his father by either killing his brother or bringing him to the Light Side."

Everyone looked at him as if he had just given someone the most awful yet brilliant idea for something they may or may not do in the distant future.

"Can we please focus without anymore interuptions?"
Thranduil asked politely. But the kind of politeness that sends shivers up your spine.

Lindir and Pippin took a step back and then all three awaited Phoenix's answer.

"Well, I guess being a Jedi would be cool. Ok I'll do it."
"That was an easy decision."
Pippin commented.
"It's almost as if you didn't even have a choice at all, almost as if this whole idea of you training to become a Jedi was already planned."

*More awkward glanced towards Pippin.*

"It's settled then!"
Thranduil announced in a way too cheerful tone of voice.
"Phoenix, you will leave right now with Lindir and Pippin to begin your training."

"Right now?"
"Yes right now."
"Can I have breakfast first?"
"You can munch on a pop-tart on the way there."
"Do I need to-"
"Everything you'll need has already been packed."
"How did you know-"
"Jedi."
"I wasn't even-"
"Yeah you were."
"This is-"
"Totally creeping you out I
know."
"Can you please stop?!"

Just wait until you start hearing my voice in your head.

Phoenix fainted and the three Jedi looked down at his unconcious form.

"He'll wake up before you
arrive."
Thranduil told them.
"Right. So we better get moving then right?"
Pippin said turning to Lindir.

"Yup! Time to go my young Padawan!"
"I'm not your Padawan anymore Lindir."
"I miss having a Padawan."
Lindir said sadly.

"Well too bad cause it's my turn to have a Padawan now!"
Pippim beamed.
Thranduil rolled his eyes.
If he could have it any other way Phoenix wouldn't be trained by either of them.

Once the three were gone and on their way to the Top Secret Jedi Traning Place (TSJTP) Thranduil had decided to sit back, relax, and add some extra dye to his hair.

*Thranduil glares at narrator.*

I mean-
Watches House Finders Middle Earth edition or something.

Meanwhile the readers must wait to see what the other two sub-plots are that will eventually combine to form the main plot.

Stay tuned for more of this story as I completely make it up as I go.