"No I told you! We have to go back to starway 32 and and take the exit near the asteroid belt!"

"No, that will take us to Coruscant! We need to keep going straight until we reach the interstar, take exit 79 and then we will be at Dagobah."

"Argh! What kind of map are you reading?!?!?"

"This one."

"It's been upside down this whole time."

"Whoops."

"This isn't even a map!"

"It's not?"

"No it's.... A FIVE DIRECTIONS POSTER?!?!? THAT'S SIGNED?!?!? HOW DID YOU GET THIS????"

"Uh...."

What the Mordor is going on?

Phoenix sat up and rubbed his eyes. The last thing he remembered was passing out.

He looked down and realized that he was laying a smooth, hard floor. He was surrounded by strange looking computers and light and buttons and beeping noises.

He looked out of a nearby window and saw a bunch of stars.

Must be nightime.

No wait, it was morning earlier.

Phoenix stood up and walked towards the window. He let out another high pitched scream and jumped backwards when he saw something very terrifying.

There was no Middle Earth!
There was nothing at all but stars and darkness!!!!

"Oh hey! Phoenix is awake!"
"Pippin! Eyes on the stars!"
Lindir shouted grabbing the hobbit's head and facing it forward.

"Relax Lindir! I'm a professional spaceship driver."
"Spaceship? Guys what's going on?"
Phoenix said stomping over to them.

Both were sitting in chairs in front of a bunch of complicated looking buttons and dials.

"Where am I? Why was I passed out? *gasp* DID YOU KIDNAP ME?!?!?!?"

"Do you not remember this morning?"
Lindir asked in surprise.
"Remember? Your father, secretly a Jedi, feels that the Force is strong with you, we're taking you somewhere where you can be trained?"

It all slowly came back to Phoenix.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that."
Phoenix looked out of the window at the huge exapanse of stars and distant planets. It was actually very beautiful.

"So, my dad secretly had a spaceship hidden in Mirkwood?"
Phoenix asked stepping away and looking around.

"Uh no."
Pippin replied keeping his fixed firmly on the starway.
"It belongs to a friend of his. Well actually it's a little difficult to explain."

Pippin turned around to talk but Lindir quickly turned him back to the front while he explained.

"You see your father once knew a guy who was kinda good until he went kinda loco and started doing things like raising a space army and steeling glowy purple stones and such. Thranduil helped this one rag-tag group of space freaks stop him from destroying a small planet by revealing the crazy guy's one weakness."

"Which was?"
Phoenix asked.
"Well you see, the leader of the space freaks learned from your father via texting that the loco guy could never say no to a challenge. So the leader of the space freaks began a dance off to distract him while his furry buddy made a boom gun. I'm not entirely sure about all the details, you would have had to have been there."

"Anyway, in return for helping defeat loco the space freak leader gave your father permission to borrow his spaceship whenever he needed it. Although we have to make sure to be very careful with it, cause its pretty brand new."

"Oh. Why didn't you just tell me that it belonged to a friend of his? What's his name anyway?"

Lindir shrugged.
"How should I know? All I know is that he has a great taste in music. Here check this out-"

Lindir pressed a button and some strange music began to play.

"What do you think?"
Lindir asked as he danced awkwardly in his seat.
"In my opinion it's too old
school."
Pippin said scoffing.

"You wouldn't know what good music was if it hit you in the
face."
Lindir said still enjoying the music.

Pippin rolled his eyes and Phoenix decided not to get involved.

They kept driving for awhile until Pippin suddenly made a very sharp U-turn that sent Phoenix crashing onto the ground.

"What was that for?!?!?"
Phoenix shouted.
"We passed a Starbux! I'm not passing up some amazing, out-of-this-world space coffee!"

Lindir and Phoenix groaned as Pippin pulled up to the Starbux drive through window and ordered three of everything. Which he refused to share with Lindir and Phoenix.

"You want something you buy something."
Pippin said handing the driving over to Lindir while he enjoyed his food.

Phoenix was getting bored with watching them take turns driving.

"I want to drive."
He said suddenly.
"Uh.... No."
Lindir said without looking away from the starway.

"Why not?"
"Because you are inexperienced."
"You let Pippin drive."
"Pippin has a license."
"Do you?"
"Um..."

Phoenix grabbed the steering thingy and jerked it towards him.

"I want a turn!"
"No!"
"Let go!"
"Back up pointy ears!"
"Who are you calling "pointy ears" pointy ears?"
"You!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Guys we're about to crash!"

Pippin shouted spilling his food everywhere.

Phoenix and Lindir stopped arguing and all three screamed as they crash landed on the planet directly in front of them.

KaBLOOIE!!!!!!!!

****

Five Directions is not my idea, I got it from Studio C and I thought that it would be fun to use in here.

I'm sure you can all guess who the spaceship belongs to.

And now it's shoutout time.

This shoutout is for

Lightseed

And her epic fantasy novel:

Journey

Which is about an elf (not a Tolkien elf. It is not a fanfic) who embarks on a journey to discover his destiny.

Like I said, I stink at describing book plots.

But it's seriously an awesome book! You should all immediately go read the first two parts and go show some support!

The writing is beautiful and the story line is very original.

Alright I'm out.