Chapter Nine

What Should Be Lost

"Ah man, I have to go!" David whined, after looking at his wrist. He quickly grabbed his backpack and carelessly threw it on his shoulder. "Training will start in a few minutes and Núria will kick my ass if I'm late again."

"We'll go with you," Kayla offered, gracefully jumping from her seat and also grabbing her backpack. "We can show the Division to Naya."

David nodded and signed for them to follow with his head, to which Naya complied with the familiar feeling of mixed anxiety and excitement. She was very much interested and fascinated with the idea of seeing the Division, not so much with the prospect of entering a building full of professional Hunters, but, as always, curiosity won and she followed Kayla and David gleefully.

"The Division trains the Hunters in their own Academy," Kayla explained, "which is where David goes every day after school. The others should be there, too. I'm not sure if they'll let you go inside though-"

"That's okay!" Naya quickly replied. "I'm perfectly alright with just looking at it from the outside."

It didn't take long for them to reach the higher levels, mostly because David was basically running. The Division was in the middle of Aurora and it was a magnificent, giant of a building, made out of black and white stone with beautiful engraved images of brave Hunters heroically slashing monsters and unknown, large letters written in the entrance, tall and gorgeous columns, long and beautiful windows and a large, wooden door. It was protected by a black fence, heavily guarded by what looked like soldiers.

Naya tried not to look too overwhelmed by the grandeur and beauty of it.

"Alright guys, I have to go," David announced, taking a card out of his wallet. "Nice to meet you, Naya. See you tomorrow, Kayla."

"Bye, David. See you tomorrow." Kayla smiled and waved at him and Naya thought she'd seen a slight blush on his face, before he smiled and clumsily turned to the soldier at the gate, showing him the card and walking inside.

The girls turned around and slowly walked away, already immersed in casual conversation. They hadn't walked too far when someone called for them, though.

"Kayla! Naya!"

Turning around once more, they found Adam, Matt, Nicole and Tatiana coming out of the black gates and waving at them with pleased grins. They waited for them to catch up.

"You guys are out already?" Kayla asked, visibly surprised. "Is Núria sick? How in the world did you escape her?"

Matt chuckled while Adam explained, "Johnny let us out early today."

"Yeah, says we should get some rest after yesterday's inferno."

"And he's totally right," Matt said as he yawned and stretched his arms and back. "Can't remember the last time we had a free afternoon."

"Núria was pissed, though," Nicole said with a smirk. "Didn't want to let us leave. Poor David is going to pay for that now."

"Is he alright? Wouldn't think Johnny would give you guys any rest knowing what's to come," Kayla asked, as they began walking.

"Maybe that's exactly why he's giving us some time to breathe," Tatiana replied. "Maybe he's scared we won't have that privilege for long."

"It's only because Damian is pretty sure there won't be an attack today," Adam said, stretching his arms and neck as well.

"And we all know that as far as Johnny is concerned, Damian's word is law."

"As it should be, Damian is awesome," Adam concluded. He then looked at Kayla with a slight frown, as if he was seeing her for the first time. "By the way, what the hell are you doing here?"

"What? What's the problem?"

"What's the..." He sighed. "We've had this conversation a million times already. When it's code red, you should stay at home, where it's safe, unless you really have to be outside."

He paused, looking at her, obviously expecting a response.

"Yes?" was her reply, which she said with a giggle.

"Well? Do you really have to be outside?"

"Give the girl a break, Adam..."

"I just want to know what was so urgent that required both Kayla and Naya to be outside during code red."

"Naya wanted to see the ocean-"

Adam raised his hands, as if enlightened. "Oh, then you're right. I'm sorry. That obviously couldn't wait until tomorrow-"

Naya wanted to interject, even though she had no idea what to say, but Kayla beat her to it.

"You just said Damian and Johnny agree there won't be any attacks today!"

"Yeah, but you didn't know that before, did you?"

"Relax, we were with David, so we were perfectly safe."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Well, if you were with David-"

"Don't do that, Adam, please," Kayla said, looking at him with a reproving glare. "That's not fair. You don't give him the credit he deserves, you keep underestimating him-"

"Oh, come on!" Adam sighed, sounding frustrated.

"Actually, I agree with Kayla," Matt interrupted, making Adam roll his eyes again.

"Of course you do. I'd be shocked if you didn't."

"No, really," Matt continued, looking serious. "David has made amazing progress on a physical level-"

"And I agree!" Adam said. "But David's problem is not, and never has been, his physical abilities, he has always exceeded in that. His problem is his head! He's too impulsive, he never thinks things through and he risks his life, and the whole team's by consequence, way more than he needs to. He's too immature."

"I have to say, I agree with Adam," Nicole said. "David is still too young for the job."

"Bullshit!" Matt interjected. "Adam and I, we were sixteen when we started this job, exactly the same age as David and, supposedly, Sam was even younger when he started in Division 10 and you," he said, pointing at Nicole, "you were already training in the Army at this age."

"Those were different times, dummy," she replied, playfully punching him on his arm. "We were all much more mature, the world was much different then and we had all gone through a hell of a lot more than David has. We had a lot more experience dealing with war and tough times than him or anyone his age now."

"Exactly!"

"Give the boy a break," Tatiana spoke, calm and tranquil as always. "He works really hard, he cares, he always has tons of energy and will, he never gives up, he's brave and he fights with his heart. David never hesitates to go into battle and, unlike all of us, he didn't even choose this life, it was almost imposed on him."

"You just proved my point, Tatiana," Adam said, with a victorious grin. "That is exactly why David shouldn't be a part of the team already. Look, the kid is great, his heart is in the right place and he's brave and tough, I don't doubt he'll be a great Guardian someday, but he still needs to grow."

"Well, Johnny believes in him, he thinks he's ready, so-"

"So, Johnny is wrong on this one," Adam insisted. "David shouldn't be on the field yet."

Naya listened to the whole exchange filled with interested, although she wouldn't dare to intervene. She walked a little bit behind all the others, once again feeling like an outsider, invading everyone else's private conversations.

A few moments later and it seemed like the conversation had taken on a different and much lighter turn, for they were all much more relaxed and playful with each other. It took her a while to notice that she wasn't the only one slightly behind anymore, Tatiana was walking right beside her, though it didn't feel like she had done it purposely to be Naya's company, it felt like something she would naturally do.

"So you did go ahead and wore my clothes."

Naya looked at her with wide eyes, feeling petrified. "Oh sorry, I thought-"

Tatiana waved her apologies away with a small smile. "It's okay."

"Did you want to wear these today? We can exchange if you want to."

"I think I'm fine, thank you," Tatiana replied, her smile growing and winking at Naya.

They all settled in a small, yet lovely shop, choosing to stay outside to enjoy the warm sun. They sat in old, detailed metal chairs with white paint already fading out and small, comfortable cushions. A nice old lady came to greet them and take their orders. Naya asked for the same exact food and drink that Kayla chose, just to be safe.

A couple of hours went by, during which they all talked and laughed and had a good, relaxing time, something that none of them was apparently used to. Naya was even starting to feel more integrated, like a part of the family again, finally able to chime in from time to time. After a while, Matt and Nicole left, claiming they wanted to enjoy this rare opportunity to spend some quality time together. Kayla had to leave as well, since she had tutoring lessons to attend – Kayla had forgotten everything she'd learned from school when she'd lost her memory and had to learn everything from scratch, including how to read and write, so she still attended tutoring lessons to help her with her school work – Matt and Nicole offering to walk her there, even if she insisted she could manage the short trip on her own.

A few minutes later, Adam, Tatiana and Naya also left the cozy shop, although walking in the opposite direction. Again, Naya preferred to walk behind them, allowing them the privacy she felt she kept breaking. She observed them with heavy interest as they talked and walked close to each other.

It wasn't hard to notice how glaringly different Tatiana acted around Adam when she was alone with him. In fact, it was so obvious that Naya even wondered if Tatiana had actually forgotten she was there. Tatiana was usually the more reserved of everyone she'd met so far, she was usually quiet and observant, almost detached from her surroundings, physically and mentally sort of distant from everyone else. But with Adam, just the two of them, she looked like a different person – she got close to him, physically, though it seemed something she did subconsciously, she opened up to him and talked freely, smiling wide and eyes shining.

It was interesting and wonderful to watch such a change in her, though for some reason, it made Naya uncomfortable and longing for such a relationship. She must've tensed a little, because Luke sank his tiny claws into her shoulder a little harder than necessary.

They stopped suddenly, Naya almost bumping into Adam.

"Well, this is where I leave you," Tatiana announced, looking at her wounded arm and sighing. "Johnny insisted I went to a physical therapy session after he saw me training today."

"Give 'em hell, champ," Adam encouraged her.

"I always try. See you later, Naya."

"Bye," Naya replied, waving at her as she left.

An awkward silence took over and she suddenly realized she was alone with Luke and Adam. She swung her arms and avoided his eyes, suddenly feeling her heart in a hurry to pump as much blood as it could to every inch of her body.

"So," he started, scratching the back of his neck, "erm... we should probably go home, huh?"

"I guess," she replied, even though she didn't feel like going home at all. Still, it would be better than standing there with an uncomfortable silence hanging over them.

She started walking but was quickly stopped by Adam, who gently grabbed her elbow.

"It's that way." He pointed in the opposite direction with a playful grin.

"Oh, sure. Of course it is."

Naya followed him, facepalming and mentally kicking herself for being so clueless. Luke looked at her as if he agreed.

They walked in silence and, thankfully, with time, it grew less and less awkward and became more tranquil. Naya didn't look around, hungrily searching for everything this world had to offer her as she had done so far, instead, she found her eyes and interest completely fixed on Adam – the way he casually walked with his hands on his pockets, his broad shoulders, his confident attitude, his messy hair... She found herself completely consumed by him and his presence and she couldn't really understand why, though she suspected it was simply because she held him close to her heart since he had saved her life.

Luke passed by her running, chasing a squirrel, climbing trees and spending his energy, having fun and Naya, breaking out of Adam's spell, smiled at the sight, happy that her friend was enjoying himself.

As she looked at Luke, she also noticed, hidden behind a couple of trees, a small park she hadn't seen before and that, to her immense delight, had a swing. Without even thinking, she instinctively ran across the street to see it up close, feeling light and happy at the sight of something so beloved and familiar.

She immediately sat on it and laughed, quickly swinging back and forth with her eyes closed, soaring higher and higher through the air, gently rocked by melancholy.

"Hey Naya..."

Adam's voice brought her back from her reverie so abruptly she almost fell off the swing. She quickly opened her eyes and was relieved to see, instead of cold bars and devastating darkness, the bright allure of his green eyes.

"Next time, give me a heads up, alright? I almost freaked out when you suddenly started running like that."

"Sorry," she said with an embarrassed smile. "I just got too excited, I guess. You know, I had one of these at home and I really loved it!"

He smiled, the warmth reaching his eyes, and Naya loved it even more than the swing. She'd never seen that expression on him before and it completely captivated her, it made her long for more, made her wish he would look at her this way forever. Naya returned the smile, even if subconsciously.

"Did you remember that just now or was it one of those things you already knew? It could mean that you're getting your memory back, which is great."

Her eyes widened and, if he wasn't staring directly at her, she would've facepalmed again.

"Erm... I don't know, I... I saw the swing and I just knew it," she quickly lied, trying to keep a relaxed smile.

"Well, it's a good sign either way." He turned around and walked towards the colorful bars that stood a few feet from the swings, hoisting himself up the tallest one with only his arms. "Do you miss it? Your home?"

"Only a few things... I mean, from what little I can remember," she replied, watching him elevating his body up and down, fascinated.

Adam jumped to the ground, landing effortlessly, turning to face her again. "I miss a lot of things from my own home. My real one, I mean. The one I had before this whole mess began."

"You do?"

"Of course," he replied with a smile. "It's home, you're always going to miss something about it, no matter how long ago you left it." He then looked down, looking a little more sullen. "Or how long ago it was taken from you."

"What do you miss the most?"

"The simple things," he replied, the easy going smile back on his face. He went back to his pushups in the bar. "Watching sports on TV with my mother, watching boring movies with my father, listening to his boring piano compositions... My mom was the active, sports type, my dad was the arts geek." He chuckled, but this time, the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Some people said they were an odd couple but... I just thought they were perfect for each other. Happy."

Naya had so many questions, he was so amazing to her, she wanted to know everything she could about him. She wanted to know what had happened to his home, how did he end up in Aurora, why was he a Hunter, where were his parents... But the sadness that lingered behind those eyes as he spoke of such things suggested the answers wouldn't be happy ones and she was afraid to upset him, to overstep his boundaries, to give him more grief. She decided it would be best to ask about it later, even though she was burning to know.

"Are you happy? Now?" she asked, her voice lower than necessary.

He looked up, as if the answer was hidden in the sky. After a few seconds, he returned his eyes to her and replied, "Well... Yeah, I guess, I mean..." His hand returned to the back of his neck, something he seemed to do when he was thoughtful or uncomfortable. "It's not really an easy question to answer-"

"Why not?" she asked, confused. It seemed pretty simple to her.

"It's complicated," he insisted. "But I know I am lucky and I enjoy what I do every day, protecting others against Vessels. That makes me happy."

Her heart turned to stone for a moment, heavy with guilt, fear and sadness at his words, but it only lasted for a moment, because soon enough he was smiling at her again, making it hard for her to believe, to imagine, that he could ever hurt or hate her.

Maybe that was just wishful thinking.

She could feel her cheeks burning and broke eye contact as he continued, "There's just something missing though... something lacking, something that feels empty-"

"In your life?"

"In the whole world, I think. Everything changed after that First Fall, after the Absolute Terror destroyed almost everything. We have survived, moved on, rebuilt but... I can't help but feel like something was left behind, like somethings just can't be fixed."

"Like what?"

"I can't really explain... There is just this sort of natural joy and innocence that is not here anymore. Now, there's always fear everywhere, lingering, there's always doubt." He sighed and suddenly looked exhausted. Naya listened to his words with thirst for more, it was the first time someone talked to her like this, the first time someone shared something meaningful with her. It was the first time she felt connected to someone, almost close.

"That's what I admire about Kayla the most, you know," he said, his expression turning to one of light as soon as he mentioned the younger girl's name. "She has that joy, she has no fear." Adam met Naya's eyes, serious, almost defiant. "I think you're the same."

The way he looked at her, intense, heavy, it was like he could see through her and it was making it hard for her to breathe.

"Maybe it would be best for all of us to just forget."

They were silent for a minute, both absorbed in their own thoughts. It wasn't awkward anymore, though. It was comfortable, it felt right, like a door had opened between them. When Naya looked at Adam now, she didn't just see her savior or a Hunter, she saw something more.

He shrugged, took a deep breath and smiled at her again, as if he had suddenly woken up from a deep trance. The atmosphere was now relaxed and light and Adam looked, for the first time, friendly, carefree, as he stepped onto the empty swing next to hers and stood on top of it.

"So, what about your family, Naya? Do you remember anything about it?"

"I know I have brothers and sisters and I know I have a father, but I don't know where they are or even who they are," she half-lied. "And my father... I know I have hurt him a lot."

"Why? How?"

She immediately looked away. "I can't remember," she lied again.

They were greeted by silence once more, but Adam didn't allow it to endure. He jumped out of the swing, landing flawlessly on the ground and grinned at her.

"Do you remember ice cream?"

***

When they returned home, the sun was already setting. Naya was in a perpetual state of bliss, dangerously bordering on silly euphoria – she'd just had an amazing day, the greatest in her life. After Adam bought her a chocolate and vanilla ice cream, which she had now decided was the greatest thing in the world, they had slowly walked home, cheerfully making casual, light conversation. Naya even got to see the sun slowly sinking behind the horizon in a beautiful canvas of golden, orange light.

By the amount of shoes, jackets and movement inside, it was obvious that Nicole, Matt and Kayla were already there. Naya walked into the living room and, on top of the small table, something caught her attention. It was a relatively small object, it was clean, shiny and black. She carefully picked it up and noticed it was much heavier than it seemed, it was cold and felt like it was made out of some kind of metal. She analyzed it with care, so as to not break or drop it. Luke tried to smell it, but quickly retreated, sneezing in the process.

Adam followed her into the room a moment later and she quickly turned to him, showing him the strange object she'd never seen before.

"What is this?"

His eyes widened as soon as he saw it and he immediately walked to her and took the object from her. He held it with a certain level of confidence and a lot of respect.

"It's a gun."

Naya didn't react. He sighed. "A weapon. A very dangerous one. Stay away from it, it can hurt or even kill you and others."

She nodded solemnly, finally understanding his previous urgency.

"Why do you have it, then?" she asked, genuinely curious.

Adam shrugged and mumbled something that resembled, "Good question."

"Is that the weapon you use to... kill Vessels and Terrors?" she asked again, crossing her arms and trying to sound casual rather than intimidated.

Adam grinned and chuckled. "No, unfortunately, it would make it so much easier." Naya stared at him confused and he tried to explain, "Modern weapons like these don't actually harm Terrors or Vessels, we don't really know why, but Damian has a theory that it's because they are these ancient, powerful creatures or something like that, I don't know, I don't really care." He chuckled again. "They are great to hurt people, though."

Naya was pretty shaken by that information. She wasn't expecting that at all and couldn't help but wonder why humans would want to hurt each other.

Before she could expose her questions and thoughts to Adam, Matt walked into the room. As soon as he noticed the gun in Adam's hand he sighed, rolled his eyes and grabbed it.

"I keep telling her," he grunted. He then looked at Naya and recognized her questioning look. "It's Nicole's, from when she belonged in the Army." It didn't answer much of Naya's doubts, but she nodded anyway, as if she totally understood it. "She is weirdly attached to this thing," Matt continued, before turning to the door and yelling into the hallway, "Babe! I told you not to leave your gun lying around."

Nicole replied from the end of it, probably from the kitchen, "Yeah, well I told you the same thing about your socks, but they're still out there, aren't they?"

"But socks don't kill people!"

***

The world was engulfed in flames again and, this time, there was no escape, she was right in the middle of the fire, she was a part of it, consumed by the hungry inferno, blinded by all the smoke, the scalding hot temperature devouring all the oxygen, she couldn't breathe.

In the middle of all the torment, she could hear familiar voices screaming in agony and torture.

She knew who was screaming, she knew she had to save them. She could see them, barely – Kayla, David, Matt, Nicole, Tatiana... all of them suffering. It was unbearable. She wanted to move, she wanted to save them, but something prevented her from doing so.

And then she saw him, Adam, his eyes fixed on her and she knew exactly what he was feeling – pain, anger, hate... betrayal.

It was too much.

She wanted to scream but found it impossible. She wanted to help, but couldn't. She wanted redemption, but didn't deserve it.

It was the sort of pain she had never felt before. She was angry, she hated that she couldn't do anything, hated whatever was torturing her and her new family.

Why couldn't she move? Why couldn't she stretch her arm and hold on to them, take his hand? Why? They were so close.

And then, suddenly, she knew.

Why she couldn't save them.

She was the one hurting them.

It was her fire, her torture, her inferno, mercilessly and selfishly unleashed upon them.

And she cried.

When Naya woke up, soaking in her own sweat, breathing as if she'd been running, lost in the darkness and silence of her new home, she still had fresh tears falling down her cheeks.