Review of Another Chance by Adesuwa.

0. Firstly, let me congratulate the writer for writing a book of 39 chapters. It's not easy to wrote a book. Its an achievement, so congratulations to you, Adesuwa!

1. That the writer finished a book of 39 chapters in four months is impressive. She must have been focused on the story during that period.

2. Cover: The cover looks okay. But it gives one the idea that it's about a man working in an office, which says nothing about the hotel which is the main setting of the book. And it leaves out the lady.

3. Blurb: Your blurb mixes present and past tenses. A blurb should be in present tense only. Also, it doesn't capture the essence of the story per se. It reads like an extract from a certain plot section the writer finds interesting. A review of the blurb will help readers.

4. First Sentence/Paragraph: Your introductory paragraph leaves much to be desired. It reads like a continuation of the author's notes. "Scratch that?" in a first sentence when it's not a dialogue? Please review that. That statement can throw a reader off the book. The introductory paragraph is key in a story. It should hook the reader and give a foretaste of what to expect reading further.

5. Information Dump: The introductory paragraphs might be overwhelming for the reader who needs to consume too much information about the history of the girl and her father. Don't belabored readers with such things early in a book. It leaves readers confused as to who to route for. Who is the protagonist? The girl talking or her father?

6. Introduction: Give us an idea of who the protagonist is and the circumstances she finds herself early in the story. You didn't even mention her name before talking about her father. Mentioning her name in the chapter title isnt enough. The scenes must do their work. Let's feel the protagonist problems and sympathize with her situation before we know about the relationship she has with her father.

7. Introductory paragraphs: A story will do better beginning in the middle of an activity, an action. Don't start a story with backstory which is what the writer did here. "Growing up I always dreamt of working in my father's organization." "Mr Mudiare at one time advised me to study Business Administration." "My father was my mentor while growing up." "During my childhood days." Those quotes are stuffs of backstories. Push them further down the book.

8. Introduction: Give us an idea of where the story takes place. Geographical information and environmental issues. Weather situation and seasons. Let's have an idea of the setting. Not until paragraph eight does the writer mention Benin as the headquarters of the company.

9. Show Don't Tell: Events are told to the readers, not shown to them. Showing always evokes better feeling when reading a book. For instance: the writer tells us. "Mr O'Brien asked me to take a break and return in the next thirty minutes ..." That could have been put in a dialogue which will reveal Mrs O'Brien's character or mannerisms.

10. Dialogues: The writer favours writing large blocks of text than using dialogues. Dialogues are always easier to read and sustains the reader's interest. The large blocks of text could be reworded as dialogues. It will enliven the opening scene. The opening scene of the second chapter reads better. More dramatic.

11. Grammar: The writer sure has a grasp of many rules of grammar. But there's much work to do on that. Many of her sentences are short, which is always good for a story of this kind.

12. Paragraphing: This leaves much to be desired. The writer doesn't make them coherent. For example, in the last paragraph of the first chapter, she wrote about Katherine going for a meeting, then Eghe enters his office to nap. Then she sets alarm. Can you set alarm while napping? And then she doesn't have appetite. Arrangement of sentences is important. Check these things again.

13. Punctuations: Average. A lot still needs to be worked on. I spotted many dialogues in italics which aren't quoted. The subsequent chapters are better quoted. Also, sentence structuring issues are many. Misplaced commas here and there. But all of those aren't enough to alter the meanings of the sentences.

14. Sentences: "We left my father's office who dismissed us." That's a quote from the book. Is it your father who dismissed you or the office? Check that sentence again.

15. Consistency of name/ character: Katherine is the father's secretary. I used to think that name is for a female. But the writer uses a 'he' for Katherine. Are we missing something?

16. Only at the end of the first chapter did she tell us the protagonist is 21-year-old. Readers needs that information earlier, probably before the protagonist starts moving around her father's hotel offices.

17. POVs: In chapter three, the writer places a POV name above the chapter. That makes it easy for reader to follow through.

18. Plot: The story does have an interesting flow. There's a lot of drama happening in the hotel kitchen and around the business premises. However, there must be coherent flow from scene to scene and from chapter to chapter. It's an interesting story.

19. Editing: It can be tiring to write a long book, but editing a book makes it shine. This book surely needs some editing. Lots of it. Every writer needs editing. It's never enough.

20. Overall: The writer sure has a lot to tell us. She's just not paying attention to the etiquettes of writing. There're rules to follow before one writes an engaging story. The books might be an easy read for friends and siblings, but many readers might struggle to read on after the first chapter.

I enjoy the writer's energy which she transfers to the reader as the story unfolds. Her talent is glaring, and can be polished further in months ahead if she keeps improving her craft. Keep writing, please.