I'm 21 now, but gosh was 20 years old a real mind fuck.

I want to know why. Why does anyone put this in their reading list. And what do they do with this? I don't care. but I want to tell a story of how I didn't use to cry. 

Why I was a kid, I would cry, like a little baby, because I was and my mom would say stop crying because it doesn't solve anything. Well I'm 21 and I would be to differ. Crying can solve everything or at least start after you're done. The biggest wave of relief is when you stop crying and your mind is clear. There's plenty of scientific backing, but I'm not going to bother typing them out. It's the age of the internet, google it if you want to know so badly. 

I'm 21 and it's off to a bad start. I've cried many times in the last month alone, more than I have in my entire life. The stress of adult life. I'm handling it exactly like I thought I was going to. Bullshitting my way through every decision and pretending like it's the right one, when I know surface level it's not. I'm made some of the best and worst decisions, done some of the best and worst things. I've also cried a lot. I miss that. crying so long you fall asleep and when you wake up you forget about the problem just long enough to appreciate how many other things aren't going to shit. bad things happen, good things follow or at least I hope so. For a moment it felt like nothing good would ever happen and I would be in eternal misery. but misery never last that long. 

Look at me! I'm moving forward. Typing out my emotions and feelings then putting them on the internet is an amazing idea. Nothing bad can result in this decision. I'll do it until I have a reason to stop. 

Any who...

So I've seen a handful of my friends go through pregnancy scares, but is anyone going to tell me about their STD scare. No one has ever once thought shit, this might be an std. Well, I had my first std scare and boy did I shit myself. Luckily I just ran out to the drug store and start taking some probiotics and magically poof. Everything is fine. I don't want to go into detail, but I google searched is it possible for the vagina to fall out. I liked to think of myself as a smart person, until that question punched itself into my keyboard. 

Any who...

I almost go into a car accident

I almost got prosecuted for a crime

I quit my 3rd job, because school is first and second at this point. 

practically failed this quiz I had

and behind on two assignments for a class I need to pass. 

but 

I started playing on the Nintendo switch

got a car before 26

not in debt before 21

and I don't have any STD's!!!

Life is good. i cry when it gets scary. Does the crying solve anything. kinda. I cried and then jumped on the computer and wrote 530 words to update...idk, the internet. It's the small steps that can't. I'll take my math test, then finish my assignment, then take a break, then start again and start doing homework and studying early. I cried and then got up and did shit. I think crying is the cure to sadness. Sorry Jacksepticeye it isn't laughter.