Looking for a Miracle
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Gone

Summer came, and it was time for the preliminaries.

They didn't need training.

They were just so strong. There was no chance they would lose anything - or that there would ever be such thing as a close game.

Momoi and I watched from the sidelines, our hands locked for some small act of comfort as we watched our friend devastate the court, winning by hundred goal margins and not letting the opposition score in the double digits. They were strong, overwhelmingly strong, but they weren't playing as a team. One person got hold of the ball, and then they'd score seconds later. They didn't need help. They were cold, ruthless, and crushed all opposition, since there was no competitors worthy of their time.

The only worthy opponents they had were themselves.

In the final match of the preliminaries to get to nationals, the opposition might as well have not existed and, if they had, they were just irritating little flies compared to their real competition.

They were having a competition with each other to see who could score the most points.

Momoi, Kuroko, and I watched in horror as the match unfolded, and the other team was visibly shaken with the way they had been treated. I was all too relieved when the match ended.

Kuroko confronted them as the team exited the building, Momoi and I trailing behind. They were arguing, the others being shockingly blasé about the entire event.

My eyes dropped to stare at my shoes as I shuffled along, not paying attention to any of my surroundings.

"Look out!" someone said, though lightly with a small hint of laughter.

I blinked and looked up at the voice, and saw I had run into a tall high school boy with light hair, and a good-natured warmth in his face. I caught sight of the jacket he was wearing - the name Seirin was printed on the front.

I was aware that my eyes were faintly misty, and quickly blinked the evidence away. "I'm sorry," I murmured.

His expression changed instantly, and he frowned. "Hey, are you okay?"

I smiled, though aware it probably looked fake. "Just fine." I noticed that his team was looking at me oddly (no doubt to the Teiko jumper I was wearing), and that I'd fallen a fair way behind the others. I stepped back. "Good luck for your match!" I called, and ran back to fall into step beside Momoi.

Not long after I was next to Momoi again, Kuroko paused and bent down to pick something up.

"What's the matter, Kuroko?" Midorima asked.

Kuroko held out the object he'd picked up. "That's a student ID. It belongs to one of the high schoolers we just passed, they're probably already playing in the first gymnasium. May I return it to them?"

His eyes swept to Akashi as he spoke.

"Understood," the captain said. "We're having a meeting after this, so hurry back. Momoi, go with him."

"I'll go too," I volunteered, as was quick to follow my two friends to the gymnasium the team was playing in.

"Oh no, has the match already started," Momoi noted as we entered, and saw two teams battling out on court. My eyes widened. It was the same team I had run into - Seirin, that was playing. "We can't give it back to them now... maybe we could leave it with a staff member and have them return it later for us... Tetsu-kun?"

Kuroko was watching the team play, a wistful, longing expression on his face. Studying the team myself, I realised what Kuroko had meant. The tall boy I had run into grabbed a rebound with ease, one wearing glasses scored a three, another one, the point guard, was keeping a good eye on the match, and the other two playing were skilled as well. They were playing hard and shouting to each other, calling for the ball and sending encouragement to the others.

"They look like a good team," I murmured. Not just because they were playing well, but because their faces were bright and determined as they played.

It was expression our friends had lost long ago.

"Yes," Kuroko agreed. "They're putting their all into the game. And most likely, they love basketball. I'm envious."

And I understood him immediately.

*          *          *

Not long after the preliminaries came to national competition. You wouldn't have thought it was a national, middle school level tournament. We swept the board, winning every game in the first two days with 100 goal margins - and they still kept up the competition to see who could score the most goals. It was tiring to watch as every team they came against lost the will to fight before the first quarter ended.

Finally the last day arrived, and I couldn't be any more relieved. One more day of watching these matches, and I never had to watch another basketball match.

We were the second match of the day. The first semifinal had already been played - a team named Meikou would be our opponent for the finals.

Because even though we hadn't played, it was obvious that we would win.

The news of the team we would next be playing seemed to put some fire in Kuroko, for he asked to be put on the starting lineup. Though surprised, the coach agreed, and the team made their way on to the court.

I grimaced seeing the team we had to play against. It was the same team we had played in the finals last year. I had wished we wouldn't see them again this year.

The first quarter proceeded as normal, the presence of the twins having no effect on the team whatsoever. Teiko, as always, was dominating.

From that perspective, everything was going smoothly.

That was, until one of the twins deliberately crashed into Kuroko, and my friend was sent flying to the floor was horrific force, then noise he made crashing on to the floor enough to make everyone gasp.

Kuroko didn't get up. He'd been knocked out.

My hands covered my mouth as two medical staff came on and placed him on a stretcher, and carried him off the court. Aomine took his place on court and the match recommenced, though I was still shaking slightly.

For the rest of the match I wasn't paying attention to anything, my mind preoccupied with thoughts of Kuroko. When the match finally ended I leapt to my feet and made to go to the first aid rooms.

However, I was stopped - by Akashi.

"Momoi and I will go to him, Akane," he said. "You stay here."

I opened my mouth to argue, then sighed inwardly at his face and stood back.

"Fine," I muttered, not looking at him.

It was too hard to look into his cold eyes, when I knew they had once been filled with warmth.

*          *          *

There was still half an hour before the next match, and I thought I'd go crazy just sitting down and not knowing anything. So for the next twenty minutes, I excused myself by saying I was going to use the bathroom, and instead spent the time pacing outside, earphones in my ears and blaring music to try and form some distraction.

When I finally decided it was time to go back, the teams were just about ready to go on to the court.

"Akane, you're late," Akashi said pointedly.

"Sorry," I muttered, ripping my earphones out of my ears and plonking myself down on the bench. I noticed Kuroko and Momoi weren't there - Kuroko's injury must've been too severe to allow him to even be reserve. Momoi must be with him.

I wondered if I would've had more fun listening to my music outside for the entire hour instead of watching. This was the same as every other match they had played - total obliteration of the opposition, as they struggled and struggled to get goals through without the results to show for the effort.

But... I pursed my lips together.

Something's off... something feel different...

I glanced down the bench, trying to see if anyone else felt it too. Several faces were pressed tight - so I wasn't the only one.

There were now only seconds left in the final quarter. I breathed out. Twenty seconds, and this would be over, and I could forget everything...

The other team had the ball. I bit my lip, hoping that they'd be able to score, and go back feeling some sort of accomplishment. One boy managed to lose Aomine, how I wasn't sure, it didn't even look like Aomine was bothered by it, and shot at the goal.

I winced. It had missed. 

That would have hurt.

"Hey, Murasakbiara!" Aomine yelled.

"Got it!"

Murasakbiara caught the rebound and, for some mind-boggling reason, slammed the ball into the hoop within the final few seconds.

The whistle blew, ending the match, but I was still frozen with disbelief.

Murasakibara scored an own goal? And Aomine told him to do it? What on earth -

My eyes slid to the scoreboard. I gasped and leapt to my feet, my hands flying to my mouth and body beginning to shake.

Oh lord.

The score.

111-11

That goal had been deliberate.

They had been aiming for that score the entire time.

They'd only been playing the other team, only allowing them to score enough times to make that final result.

"No..." I croaked. My eyes zoomed to Akashi, where he and the rest of the Miracles were walking away calmly, as though they hadn't done anything. Their faces were all cold or blank - there was no regret.

If someone had just stabbed me, I wasn't sure I would've had noticed. The pain of that would have surely been less than the pain I was feeling now - I wanted to scream and cry, because I just couldn't accept they would have done something like that.

"Sei... you wouldn't... you didn't just..." I mumbled, my head spinning, all sense and feeling leaving my body as I sank back down on to the bench, sure that I would pass out at any second.

That would've been bliss, to fall into ignorance and nothingness for a few hours, and not have to face what had just happened.

My entire body was trembling like a leaf in the wind. I was crying. I was aching. Because of what they had done, what they were, and the despair of the other team.

It didn't feel like we'd just won.

It felt like we were at a funeral.

I heard the team approach and, before either could say a word to me, I lurched to my feet and sped away, my only interest to put as much distance between them, that court, that score, and myself as possible.

*          *          *

I lingered outside the change rooms half an hour later. The award ceremony was over, but I hadn't attended. I couldn't bear to be there - the mere thought hurt.

My body was still shaking, and I masked it by crossing my arms over my chest. I bit my lip, wondering what was being discussed inside, whether the five were congratulating each other on their skill and wit.

I still couldn't comprehend it - both that they'd done it, and that they'd thought it was okay. The other team may as well have been trash. I'd seen the spirit leave their bodies, how their eyes lost all life when they saw the score.

Sei wouldn't have let it happen. I blinked back tears, tears of frustration.

Even though he was like this now, I couldn't believe he would have condoned something as horrific as that.

The door opened, and the team started filing out. I bowed my head, and that must have caught the hint I didn't want to talk to them, since no one, not even Kise, called out my name.

Akashi was the last to leave. I pushed myself off from the wall and turned to him and lifted my chin, trying to appear I was still standing strong and not entirely shaken by what had just happened.

"Why did you do it?" I demanded, voice cool.

He was unfazed by my sudden question, maybe he had been expecting it. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Games are boring, Akane, and everyone was lacking motivation. This was the best way to give everyone a goal to work toward."

My blood turned to face.

"You don't do it like that, though!" I exploded, screaming at him. The frustrated tears in my eyes began to brim, and I made no effort to hide them. "You can't! Not ever! Didn't you see how the other team was affected? The life might as well have been squeezed from their bodies! What you did, it - it was barbaric!"

My body was shaking. I searched his face desperately, desperately hoping to see something - a flicker of doubt, a hint of remorse, just some sign no matter how minute that he realised the consequences of what he had done.

But he remained as passive as ever. "You couldn't understand, Akane," he said, and turned to closed the door.

My heart might as well be lying in a thousand pieces.

"I understand that this time last year, you wouldn't even have thought about doing that," I whispered, the crack in my voice obvious even to my own ears.

"Things change."

"Things change..."

I shook my head at him. Where was my best friend? Where?

"They change too much," I choked out and, before I could break down in tears in front of him, spun on my heel and strode quickly away, wiping my eyes in my jacket sleeve and the sounds of my sobs echoing in the corridor.

I had accepted it now.

There was no way I was ever going to get my best friend, the boy I'd loved, back.