Looking for a Miracle
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lingering

All the words on the page in front of me blurred together, so I couldn't make any of them out. Paragraphs I did manage to read went straight over my head, even when I reread them several times. I slapped myself, I blinked to try and make sense of sentences, and rubbed my heavy eyes.

None of it worked.

"I don't get it," I mumbled, and pushed the textbook away from me. I folded my arms in front of me on the table and rested my head on them, my tired eyes closing instantaneously. I'd been fighting the urge to fall asleep for days now.

On the opposite end of the library table, Kuroko glanced at me, worried.

"But this is biology," my friend said quietly. "This is your best subject, you've never not understood anything before."

"I'm finding it hard to even pay attention to one paragraph, let alone an entire three pages at the moment." As though to prove a point, I yawned hugely and rubbed my eyes.

It would be so easy to just fall asleep on this table and escape reality for a few hours...

Then again, my biology homework wasn't going to finish itself... I moaned and, with great effort, pushed myself back into sitting position and dragged my textbook close to me again.

Kuroko watched his, expressionless, as I grabbed my pen once again and tried, for the tenth time, to understand the information needed to answer question six.

"Are you still trying to find Akashi-kun?" my friend asked quietly.

I froze, my pen slipping from my hand.

I had been.

I was no closer to thinking of something strong enough to bring back my Sei, but it wasn't from lack of trying.

Momoi had said it was useless, and I was only doing more damage to myself by trying so hard. But she didn't understand just how much I loved Sei, how burdened he'd been, she hadn't understood him like I had... How I knew that he was still there, waiting for me.

"I have to," I whispered hoarsely. "I have to keep trying. I can't give up on him, not ever, not after all we've been through together..." I wiped at my eyes. With my extreme tiredness, the stress of school, and the emotion that came with having been friends with the Miracles, I was more prone to crying than usual.

Kuroko bit his lip and reached over the table, so he could rest a gentle hand over my own.

"I'm sorry, Akane-san."

I waved a lazy, dismissive hand. "Kuroko, it's okay," I said mid-yawn. "It's nowhere near your fault. Besides, I should be the one asking you if you're okay. You're so brave, being in the thick of it each day... I don't get how you can cope."

While Aomine and Murasakibara might not turn up, tension was still high in the gym. There was so sense of camaraderie anymore, or that we were all on the same team - it was a competition, to prove who was better, stronger. The atmosphere was horrible and strained.

There was no way you could Teiko a team anymore. They played matches as individuals, forgoing all ideas of teamwork, yet they were winning and dominating by impossibly large margins. No one talked, no one passed, and Kuroko was only brought on if there was need to preserve strength.

Everyone had changed to the point that I couldn't say I even knew them anymore.

I could escape the gym as manager but Kuroko, as a player, had to stick it out every day.

Kuroko glanced down at the pagers was reading. "I can't," he admitted lowly.

I opened my mouth,ready to reply, but someone else spoke first.

"Akane."

My heart skipped at beat at his voice which, after everything, still sounded the same. I twisted in my seat to see Akashi standing behind me.

"Akashi-kun, what is it?"

"Your parents have left for an emergency week-long business trip," he informed me. "While they're away, they've arranged for you to stay with my family."

My stomach dropped.

"Thanks for telling me," I said, in as strong a voice I could muster. Evidently with nothing else to say, he turned and left. When he was out of earshot I turned to Kuroko, horror in my eyes.

"A week, Kuroko," I whispered. "How will I cope? Why can't it be Satsuki I sleep over with?"

Well, I already knew the reason. With my parents as concerned with my upbringing as they were, would much rather leave me in the care of the Akashis, since they knew them. They only knew a little about the Momois, not nearly enough to feel comfortable leaving me with them for a week.

Kuroko said nothing, but instead stood up, walked around the table so he was next to me, and rested a hand on my shoulder. "You'll be fine, Akane-san," he murmured reassuringly.

I turned so I fully faced him and wrapped my arms around him, holding my good friend close to me. He held me and rubbed my back. I wondered if he had any idea how grateful I was for him, and how lost I'd be without him at my side.

"I'll try," I whispered, and he held me back reassuringly.

I just wanted my best friend, the boy I liked, back.

Was that really too much to ask for?

*          *          *

My week with the Akashi's was, to say the least, awkward.

I barely saw either of them; Akashi's father was always working, and I kept mostly to my borrowed room, so I only saw Akashi at dinner and as we left for school. It was a quiet affair, neither of us having words to say. It did hurt, since we used to be able to talk so easily about anything.

I was up late on my third night at the house, finishing homework. As I pushed my literature essay away with a sigh of relief, I realised that I really needed to go to the bathroom. Grimacing, I stood and made my way outside, down the corridor to the bathroom.

I had to pass Akashi's room on my way there. On my way back, I paused in my tracks: I had noticed that the door was ajar. A light was still on within the room, but there was no sound. I held my breath and pressed my ear to the door, and stayed there for a good few minutes.

There was no sound. No scribbling of a pen against paper, no ruffle of turning pages, no footsteps pacing on the floor, no fingers drumming against a desk in thought.

He must be asleep, and forgot turn the light out before he did. I stood still for a moment longer, conflicted, and then my resolve to save electricity won as I pushed the door back as gently as I could.

What I saw made me freeze.

Akashi was definitely asleep, but not on his bed. He'd fallen asleep at his desk, one cheek pressed against a textbook, his hair falling into his face.

As quietly as I could, I tiptoed over to him, and stared down at him.

He looked so peaceful, so calm and free in sleep that if you didn't know his transformation, you could easily believe he was still the young boy I met in this very house for the first time years ago. His mouth hung open slightly, and his bright red hair fell into his eyes.

I stood still for a long time, transfixed. I wanted to keep this image of him in my mind forever, even if I never saw Sei again, so I knew this peaceful image of him still existed.

I pondered momentarily if I should wake him - he'd only wake up with a stiff neck if he stayed there for much longer. But I decided against it. He'd probably wouldn't take too kindly to discover I had been in his room.

I sighed and turned the lamp off, darkness covering his face. "I love you, Sei," I whispered to the darkness. "I promise, I'll find you again."

And with that, I turned and made my way out of the room, my heart breaking a little more with each step.

My love for you is only making it harder to walk away.

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i hope i'm writing akashi realistically omg

is this breaking anyone else's heart it's breaking mine