Looking for a Miracle
Chapter Eighteen
Almost

It was hard to say when exactly I had started to fall for Sei.

Maybe I really had a crush on him all along but, because of our already strong friendship, I just hadn't realised until now, my feelings masked and reasoned out because I cared for him as a best friend.

I realised now that I didn't like Aomine in any sort of romantic way anymore - and maybe I never really had. While I had paid so much attention to him, I had come to realise there were things I missed - I couldn't talk about books with Aomine, we had different tastes in movies and music, and I couldn't rely on him like I did with Sei. The only thing we'd really had in common was our love of basketball.

Not to say I didn't treasure Aomine's friendship. He was a dear friend, and always will be.

But I had only realised just how much I missed and loved Sei when my heart was preoccupied with someone else. Maybe I wouldn't have realised my feelings for Sei until later on.

But I couldn't confess. I doubted Sei saw me in the same way - we were so close that I was sure he saw me as a sister. There was no way he could like me romantically, right? We looked out for each other and cared for each other like actual siblings.

I groaned. Out of all the people I could've fallen for, it had to be my best friend. My childhood friend. The person who knew me better than anyone else.

If I told him, I was sure our friendship would falter, and I couldn't afford that. Never. I valued our friendship too much to cast it away for the slim chance he could like me to.

It would be better to keep it to myself. Definitely. I didn't risk our friendship that way, and we'd remain as close as ever. It was the best thing to do.

At least, that was what I told myself, repetitively as I lay in bed at night, staring up at the ceiling and trying to calm myself.

And I told myself so often, I almost believed it.

*          *          *

Almost. 

That was the key word.

My plans to act as casual as ever around Sei went out the window when I saw him the next morning - my stomach flipped and I felt heat rise within me. I had to turn away and calm myself before I joined him with my usual smile and hug - though I felt more self conscious this time.

It shouldn't have been. I'd hugged Sei so many times... no. He wouldn't notice anything different about a hug.

That was what was worrying me. Sei could read me like an open book. He'd be able to tell I was hiding something from him - and he'd probably figure out how I felt about him.

I distracted myself in class, which was easy since our work was increasing in difficulty and required more and more concentration, and during the basketball club Sei was kept busy, anyway.

His main priority was getting Kise to accept Kuroko. Kise still hadn't witnessed Kuroko's abilities for himself, and therefore didn't see Kuroko as being worth having on the team. His constant complaints of having a 'useless' mentor were starting to become irritating, and I knew Kuroko didn't like it. Aomine and I often spent time with him - and I must admit, I did it to both avoid Sei and spend time with Kuroko),

Sei quickly came up with a solution, however. The second string was to do a practice match and, to assure victory, it was standard for two first string players to go with them. Kise and Kuroko would be the two 'safeguards' for the match.

Momoi was going with them, so I insisted she tell me the results of the match, which she'd promised with a light laugh.

The gym was noticeably quieter the day Kise and Kuroko were gone. I no longer had Kuroko as an excuse to avoid Sei, so instead I busied myself with manager duties, flitting in and out of the gym constantly.

It wasn't to work for long.

As I was sorting through a few files, I heard footsteps approach me from behind.

"Akane?"

My heart skipped a beat.

I turned around to see the familiar face of my best friend and crush.

"What is it, Sei?"

I hated how my voice sounded so high pitched.

Sei frowned, but his expression cleared soon after and he said, "I want to talk to you about tour observations, and see how we can work it into our training menus. You aren't busy tonight, are you?"

I nodded. "I'm all free."

An odd expression must have crossed my face for Sei hurriedly said, "I hope you don't mind doing this."

I shook my head and smiled reassuringly. "It's fine, Sei."

And it was. I was sure I'd do anything for him.

I was distracted for the rest of practice, and in the end gave up and just stood by the wall and watched everything unfold. Near the end of practice, when everyone was having s drink break, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I whipped it out and sad I had received a text from Momoi.i opened it eagerly.

Game over, Kuroko-kun secured our victory. Kise-kun is almost worshiping the ground he walks on now!

I snorted so much that it developed into a coughing attack. Sei glanced over at me and raised an eyebrow. Wiping tears from my eyes, I showed him the text from Momoi.

Sei read it over, and his lips spread into a small, amused smile. "I believed a change would happen, but didn't think it would be that drastic."

"Me too. I knew he'd come to respect Kuroko, but this..." I was still laughing as I typed a reply back to Momoi. "It's a little eccentric!"

Practice finished soon after, and everyone departed to change. Sei, naturally, was the first person done. I breathed deeply to control the nervous butterflies in my stomach, and held on to my bag as though it was my lifeline.

"So, which classroom had we been given permission to use?" I asked quickly, looking at the school building with my head tipped to the side.

Sei shook his head. "Classroom 3, but we need to wait for Midorima - he said he has things he wants to discuss with me first."

I nodded, and hoped my relief wasn't too obvious. The thought of being alone with Sei, who could so easily read me, still scared me. I hoped I'd get over it soon, since I didn't want this to go on for so long we drifted apart, or Sei realised why I was acting so strangely.

Fortunately we weren't kept waiting for Midorima for too long. The sight of my green-haired friend made me smile.

"Hey, Midorima!" I chirped, waving.

He greeted me with a nod. "Akane."

The three of us headed down the corridor together. Midorima soon started to speak to Sei about Kise and Kuroko. I tuned myself out of the conversation - I already knew what had happened, and Sei's thought on it. I instead glanced out of the window, admiring the outside view.

"But... something's been on my mind." My head snapped up at these words. I wondered what Midorima had to say - this had to be the reason Midorima wished to speak with Sei. "Kise's position overlaps with his."

My eyebrows furrowed momentarily, then they raised when I understood. I bit my lip. It was a problem I had been wary of for some time now, and I'd wondered how it would be dealt with.

"You mean Haizaki," Sei supplied. "Speaking of whom today, too..."

"Skipped practice, again," I finished with a roll of my eyes.

It was idiotic. I didn't know why Haizaki still wanted to be on the team if he couldn't even be bothered putting in the effort. His lack of participation - and utter disrespect for everyone on the team (especially Kise) - had me grinding my teeth on a daily basis. Many times I'd caught myself thinking how much nicer the team would be without him, even if he was reasonably talented.

Midorima sighed and grimaced. "That idiot. Unfortunate as it is, despite all of that, his skills are the real thing. On tip of that, we don't have many small forwards on this team. It's irritating, but I suppose we'll have to keep Haizaki as a starting member, with Kise as his backup -"

"No, that's not quite right."

Even I blinked at the abruptness of Sei's response. Midorima and I exchanged looks.

"Firstly, Kise will soon ride to become a starting members. He'll be a regular before the inter school tournament preliminaries." I sucked in a breath at Sei's surety, his absolute faith in his predictions. His words kept my attention - and Midorima's - hooked. "Kise's potential and speed of growth is comparable to Haizaki's. In addition, Nijimura-san will provide strong backup.

"Henceforth, it would be safe to say the position of small forward may very well become the most solid one on the team. As of late, Haizaki's notorious behaviour has been especially prominent. Apparently he got into s fight with a few students from another school the other day." I grimaced. I'd heard that rumour too. "Keeping him any longer will bring no further merit to the club. We have no more use for him. I will recommend he leave the club."

I bit my lip as Sei's voice suddenly changed - he was colder, more authoritative, more detached. It was the other side of him I'd seen, the side of him that scared me. Because whenever he became like that, for a moment I didn't know who my best friend was.

Midorima and I looked at each other, both of us unnerved.

"When will you do this?" Midorima asked, voice hesitant.

"As soon as is practical. The earlier he goes, the better it is for our club."

The rest of our walk was unnaturally subdued, and I swear Midorima looked relieved to leave. When it was just Sei and I tog entered again, we headed into a classroom we'd been given permission to use and sat next to him - I took my seat gingerly.

Sei shuffled my papers with interest. "These observations are really very detailed," he said, back to his normal self so quickly it was like someone had flicked a switch on him. "Let's see what we can do here."

For the next two hours, the two of us poured over my data and used it to formulate training menus for each individual in the club. Everything felt so natural between us as we worked - my occasional joke, Sei's amused response, the two of us working so closely together that our heads nearly touched and we kept bumping each other on the arm.

My heart faltered at every touch of our bodies, but fortunately my face didn't flush. It was so easy between us - why had I never appreciated this so much before?

We were so immersed in our work and each other that I almost forgot about the incident in the hallway, and almost didn't catch myself staring at my best friend and taking in every little detail about him.

Almost.

In both cases, almost.

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after months of irregular updates, i can now assure you that this story will be having regular, almost daily updates - i've had a huge surge of inspiration of the past two days and have already prewritten five chapters! so i think this story will definitely be done by the end of the month!

also my love for akashi is returning and growing stronger and stronger oops