"Buddies through all of the gay days
Buddies when something went wrong
I wait alone through the gray days
Missing your smile and your sound."
—My Buddy by Christina Grimmie

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Chapter 26: The Mysterious Sherrinford H.

| KENZIE |

After the bell rang, I got out of the classroom as fast as I could. Why was he acknowledging my presence now? And he'd even thrown those nasty balls of papers at me. Was he trying to annoy me? If yes, well, he'd succeeded.

"Macken--"

I ran to the nearest ladies' restroom and closed the door before Lance could reach me. Two girls were busy putting makeup on their faces while staring in the mirror and chatting with each other. I went inside a stall and his words from Monday repeated in my mind.

Then I cannot consider you a musician, Mackenzie Grace Adams.

Hearing that from one of the people that I respected most, it hurt me. The cut was deeper than when Lance told me about my heartbreak. Then tears just silently streamed down from my eyes. I was thankful that we had no Greek today.

I heard the two girls exit the restroom while laughing. Since I was now alone, I opened the stall I was in and looked in the mirror. My face was a complete mess. I washed my face, wiped it with my hankie, and then slowly opened the door, alert if Lance was still around, waiting for me to come out. When the coast was clear, I fully got out and went straight to the library.

🎹 🎹 🎹

"Hi, Mackenzie."

I looked up from my copy of The Ship of the Dead and saw Spencer smiling at me. His smile was contagious, so I couldn't help but smile back at him. "Hi, Spence. Why're you here? You don't have class?"

"Er, no. I ditched history so that I could finish answering my homework in Japanese. I forgot to do it last night. Don't judge me," he told me with a laugh.

"Yep, you're not a procrastinator; you just prefer doing your homework in a deadline-induced panic." I grinned.

We did a high-five. "You're correct. How about you? What brought you here?"

"Our teacher in Greek isn't around, and Nis is attending a meeting with the rest of the Drama Club officers, so I chose to hang out here in the lib instead."

"Mind if I sit here at your table?" We were in a corner of the library where there were few people.

"Of course not."

And so Spencer sat across from me, getting his homework and Google Pixel from his bag. "I hope I didn't disturb you. Just continue reading there while I translate these English sentences into Japanese sentences."

I was curious. "Is learning Japanese hard?"

"Yep. But if you watch animé, Japanese dramas and listen to Japanese songs often, you kinda get the hang of it. Have you been to Japan?"

"Twice. It was because of the special screenings for some of my films. I only know basic Japanese​ words."

"I envy you so much. I wish I could go to Japan someday..." His eyes became dreamy.

I winked at him. "Don't give up on your dreams. You'll get there soon."

"Thanks, Mackenzie!" Spence said enthusiastically.

While Spencer was busy answering his homework, I couldn't concentrate on Magnus' adventure, so I pretended to be engrossed in my book. What if he was going to talk to me about Lance after this? Should I brace myself?

I was now in chapter 22, and its title was: "I Have Bad News and--No, Actually I Just Have Bad News." I gulped and my hands started getting sweaty. Was this another bad omen? Was Spencer on Lance's side and he was going to scold me that Lance was right and all that crap?

A few minutes passed and Spencer declared, "I'm done."

"'Kay."

There was a moment of silence before he continued, "Um, Mackenzie..."

I let out a heavy sigh and put my book down. There was no escaping this. "I know where this is going."

Spence gave me a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry, but yeah, you're right. Look, I just wanna say that Brandon Colfer"--I flinched, but he didn't notice--"is a baka." Then he said some other Japanese words that I couldn't quite catch.

My brows furrowed. "What?"

"Baka. In English, it means stupid. For the rest of the sentence...well, you don't wanna know what they mean."

I had a feeling there were swear words, though. "Yeah, he is a baka."

"And that Lance was insensitive." He looked apologetic. "Since you simply ignored him in trigo earlier, it means you're still angry at him."

I stared down at my lap.

"Sometimes, emotions can get the best of us and cause us to say words we don't truly mean," he said. "Or we are charged with emotions and choose words with different implications than we intended. He was about to apologize earlier, you know."

I froze at his words.

"Mackenzie, I love Lance, and..." he continued, but my mind wandered off to nowhere when Spence said that word.

🎹 🎹 🎹

"I love you, Spence!" Lance declared with feelings. "I love you with all my heart. But your heart belongs to someone else already."

"I don't love Cindy," Spence denied while hugging Lance. "I truly don't love her. My heart only belongs to you."

Doubt filled Lance's eyes. "Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes," Spence said with a firm nod. "I love you, Lance."

Spencer cupped Lance's chin, then he lowered down his head while closing his eyes. Lance parted his lips, and then--

🎹 🎹 🎹

The Lance-and-Spencer scene in my mind was disrupted when Spencer waved a hand in front of my face. "Yo, Mackenzie. You spaced out after I said..." His eyes grew wide as he studied my face. "Wait, don't tell me...The heck! I only love Lance as a best friend!"

Students who were near our table glared at him. Spencer realized his action, mumbled his apology, then asked me with his voice full of disbelief, "You're a fujoshi?"

"A fujo--what?" I asked while raising an eyebrow.

"It means...er, never mind."

Chuckling, I told him, "I was just kidding, Spence. Sorry. Hmm, I just realized you and that freak would make a cute couple."

His eyes grew wide. "Hey, hey, please don't go that far."

"And I'll just stay on the sidelines and watch you two do some romantic stuff toge--"

He covered his ears with his hands like a kid. "I can't hear you. Blaaaah."

I did my best to stop the giggles from escaping my lips. "All right, I'm stopping."

He let out a grateful sigh. "This concludes that you're still angry at him." That made me quiet in an instant. I gazed at Spencer. His blue eyes were full of sincerity, and it was a slap to my face. "Think about what I said before, please?"

The bell rang, but Spencer and I stay rooted on our seats, our gazes unwavering.

"I've gotta go," was what I just answered before dashing out of the library.

🎹 🎹 🎹

When classes were done for the day, my feet directed me to the music building. On my way there, I heard a song that was played by a violin; it was engulfing me. It was coming from the rooftop of the main building, and the playing seemed familiar.

I closed my eyes to concentrate on what was currently playing. Then I now knew what song the violinist was playing.

"You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine."

I sang this while staring at the rooftop.

"You make me happy
when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear,
how much I love you."

Tears fell down my chin.

"Please don't take my sunshine away."

🎹 🎹 🎹

I was confused with my feelings.

Yesterday, Lance had tried to apologize to me and I ignored him completely. I was at my grandmother's house this Saturday morning and for some reason I was hoping that Lance would contact me. I'd even told Mom to call me if Lance went to our house.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked myself while playing "River Flows in You" by Yiruma (Rachel had requested that I should master this piece) on grandma's upright piano. "Am I angry or guilty or what? Chel's right, Kenzie, that you're hardheaded..."

"You're getting good, Grace. I must say that that Lance guy is a prodigy," Grandma Celestine Adams started as she entered the living room with a tray of cupcakes in her hands. Dad had said that I kind of looked like my grandma when she was still in her teens.

I paused. Oh, right. I haven't told Grandma about the "Mackenzie and Lancelot's War." And the reason why I also visited her was...

"Um, Grandma, can I ask for your suggestion?" I stopped playing.

She put the tray on the coffee table. "Of course, Grace."

"If you're gonna play for a competition with the theme 'Crossing Over,' what piece will you play?"

Her green eyes widened. "Don't tell me you and Lance haven't decided on what piece to play yet?"

I shook my head. I didn't even have a clue why I was asking her this. I mean, I already quit as Lance's accompanist. But there was still a part of me that wanted to continue being his pianist for the 40th Annual Denver Music Competition.

Yep, my mind was totally screwed.

Grandma thought for a moment as she sat down on the couch with a pen hovering on a piece of paper in her hand.

"A piece that I can play," I added.

Chuckling, Grandma wrote on the paper. "You got this, kiddo."

When she gave me the paper, I searched the title of the piece on YouTube with the use of my phone to give it a listen. After a while I exclaimed, "The heck, Grandma! This is hard!"

"What're you talking about, Grace? You still have a few weeks to practice that piece. You'll master it in no time."

I was doubtful, stopping the video as I sat on the yellow sofa. "Um, yeah, about that..."

"You have little faith in yourself." She transferred to the piano bench, cracked her knuckles, and started playing the piece she'd suggested.

The way Grandma played it was marvelous and full of emotions, and I'm not exaggerating. I wanted to play like her.

"The secret to playing music is to play it with your feelings. Genuine feelings," Grandma told me after she was finished. "You can do this, Grace. Believe in yourself. But you seem troubled, and I'm positive it's not because of the piece I suggested."

Dam it. I thought she hadn't noticed a thing. Sighing, I said, "It's...complicated, Grandma."

"Did you and Lance have a fight?"

I frowned at her. "Am I that easy to read?"

"Yes, Gracie," Grandma said with a chuckle.

And so I shared with my grandmother the events from Sunday to Friday. "Please don't tell my parents about this, Grandma," I finished.

"You have my word." Combing my hair with her hand as she sat beside me on the sofa, Grandma said, "I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you, Grace."

"And I also didn't mean to tell Lance that I hate him," I said as I hugged her. "He was trying to talk to me yesterday, but I gave him the cold shoulder, because the hurt was still there."

"Your bitterness only hurts you more. There can be beauty and meaning in your pain. For your own sake, you should let go of your resentment. Besides, life is all about love." Smiling at me, Grandma said, "When someone learns to forgive, it opens the door to healing. The ability to forgive is very powerful, and the source of this power is rooted in love. Besides, there are only two responses to pain." She pointed to my heart. "To harden your heart, or to soften your heart."

I pondered over her words. "You're right, Grandma."

"Besides, the theme for the contest is 'Crossing Over,' right?" Grandma winked at me. "You can't crossover if you can't let go of your past. Choose courage over fear, because fear will only result in degradation."

That's when my eyes fully opened, and I decided to apologize to Lance after my Skype session with the highest payer for my fundraising campaign for the Denver's House of Hope for Kids with Cancer.

And for me to face Brandon and forgive him.

🎹 🎹 🎹

I got home from Grandma's house after dinner. The Skype video call with the highest payer was scheduled at 8:00 P.M.

Truth be told, I was disappointed that Lance hadn't contacted me at all. Maybe he was angry at me because I ignored him yesterday. Even when I was still furious at him that time, I should've still replied to him. I deserved this punishment. Rachel was the one who'd contacted me, and her text was: Someday, your unforgiving attitude will choke the life out of you. Just reminding you, Kenzie. 😘😘😘

What're you planning, Chel? 😨😨😨 had been my reply to her.

Nothiiing. 👻👻👻 she'd replied back.

I didn't believe her.

You really are like Annabeth Chase, Kenzie, I thought, snapping myself to the present. Your fatal flaw is hubris...

I read the email again. The winner's name was Sherrinford H. They didn't specify their last name. Even their Skype username was just sherrinfordh_pldmc.

When it was almost 8:00 P.M., I opened Skype on my laptop and prayed that this video call would go well. And I made sure that I'd tell Lance how sorry I was for being such a fool. I hate to admit this, but that freak was right. The rest of my friends, too. Why was I still not letting go of my past? I should move on already!

My friends' words repeated in my mind.

...but you are crying because you are brokenhearted? How pathetic!

Let go of your pride, because it can be a dangerous attribute to have; it holds you back from forgiving the person who've hurt you.

It's better to regret something you've done rather than you haven't done.

Letting go of the hurt--the past--is the first step, if you seriously want to move on from the bottom of your heart.

Sometimes, emotions can get the best of us and cause us to say words we don't truly mean.

And then Grandma's words...

"Come what may, Kenzie." I typed the winner's Skype ID and clicked the "Enter" button. Sherrinford was already online.

What greeted me was a black screen, which made me squint at my monitor, and a smooth and calm voice that said: "Did you miss me?"

I was suppressing the panic that was bubbling up within my chest when there was a sudden light from the other line.

"W-what the heck, Lance!" I stammered in astonishment. "Seriously?"

He was giving me an arrogant look. "Well, did you miss me?"

"You look so hideous on screen."

"You are such a hypocrite," Lance said with an eye roll. "Anyway, are you happy to see and talk to me again?"

"Err..."

"And don't you dare click that 'Sign Out' button! I paid grandly for this moment!"

"I know, and I wasn't going to sign out, you know."

"Hoooo."

There was a silence so uncomfortable that it made me want to throw my laptop outside the window.

"So..." Lance and I started at the same time. The awkwardness went up a notch.

"You go first," he said.

"No, you go first."

"Ladies first."

"Why on earth did you enter the bidding?" I asked, but mentally slapped myself.

What're you doing, Kenzie? Why're still not apologizing to Lance? This is your chance!

"Isn't it obvious? It's because you did not want to talk to me," explained Lance with confusing hand gestures. "You were avoiding me like I had the plague. I did not know of this bidding of yours. Chel was the one who came up with this plan earlier. She was sure that if I won the bidding, you would be forced to talk to me."

"She got that right," I mumbled. But it was no wonder why my best friend had helped Lance on this one. She really knew that I needed this.

"So I grabbed this chance," he continued, "to tell you how sorry I am for what I did to you. For everything I have done that hurt you so much. For telling you that I cannot consider you a musician. I regret it and--"

"No, I'm sorry," I interrupted, fresh tears filling my eyes. Rather than condemning Lance, I apologized myself. "I'm so sorry that I overreacted, that I didn't tell you the truth. It wouldn't have gone this far if I trusted you in the first place. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have blamed you. I acted like a child, and I regret that now. I'm such an idiot, Lance." I'd thought he wasn't the kind of person to admit when he made a mistake. But I knew right now that on this case, he wasn't the one at fault.

His eyes widened in shock.

"I slapped you on impulse, too."

"Flattering."

"But you're right. I think too much, and I feel too deeply." I sniffed. "What a dangerous combination, huh?"

A shadow of hurt passed over Lance's face, but it was gone as soon as he looked away from me. It made me wonder if I'd been only imagining it. "There are times when I am tactless. Though I do not realize it when I do it. I take my words back." Then he smiled at me through the screen, empathetic. "Your feelings are valid, Mackenzie. You have every right to feel whatever emotion you want. You are absolutely not being dramatic and exaggerating. You are feeling because you are a normal human being. And that's okay. I should never scoff at the burden someone else is carrying."

What he said made me sob. "I also take back what I told you; I don't hate you, and I'm so grateful that we became friends."

"H-hey, I did not mean to make you cry. Again," Lance said, panicking.

"My tear ducts got so excited, they couldn't control themselves."

"Go to your balcony, Mackenzie," he said all of a sudden.

"And why should I go there?" I said, but still stood up from my rolling chair anyway to go to the balcony, and then I was utterly surprised to see that Lance was standing there.

Before I could say a word, Lance embraced me, and this made me cry harder. His efforts to be the highest payer for my fundraising campaign and to come here touched me. I hugged him back while apologizing profusely. Lance drew soothing circles on my back while saying "It's all right."

"You also forgive me, right?" Lance leaned a little away from me, managed a crooked smile while wiping my tears with his thumbs, and then gave me a roll of Softie.

I laughed. "Of course, you freak. Say..." I led him to my bed so that we could sit on it and talk things out. "How on earth did you climb--"

"I used a ladder, duh." Showing his arrogant smirk, Lance added, "I am Prince Lancelot Dale Moore Collins, after all."

Hearing him say that caused me to facepalm. "Dam it! So that 'pldmc' in that username..."

"Certainly took you long enough to figure it out. Heh. I have to admit I am a bit disappointed. I really made the username like that so that you would have a clue on who you were going to have a video call with," Lance explained. "To prepare yourself, or something like that. I never thought it would be useless, though. And don't tell me you do not know who Sherrinford Holmes is?"

"Sorry that I'm not as intelligent as you," I deadpanned. "And no, I don't know him at all. Remember that I'm not a Sherlockian."

"He's not part of the Conan Doyle canon and he was created by another writer. Sherrinford Holmes is the proposed elder brother of Mycroft and Sherlock."

"Yeah, whatevs. Why did you come here, anyway?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you would really have a video call with me. I mean, you gave me the silent treatment yesterday. I was going to sincerely apologize that time, you know."

"You threw paper balls at me," I reminded him. "That annoyed me."

"It's because you were not responding. I did not have any other option but to do it for you to notice me."

I gave him a pained smile. "Spence told me yesterday that you were gonna apologize that time. Sorry 'bout that."

"No biggie--wait, you two talked with each other?"

"Yeah, after trigo. He...well, you already know what our topic was." I then noticed the selfie ring light that was attached to his phone. So that was where the light had come from. "'Sides, whoever the winner would be, I didn't have any other choice but to really have a video call with them. You earned it, Lance. But too bad, 'cause we're not doing a video call now."

He laughed. "I must admit that this is so much better than a video call." He offered his hand to me. "So, truce?"

I shook his hand firmly. "Truce. And I'll be your accompanist again."

His chocolate-brown eyes were full of happiness. "You are a beginner and have never been in a competition before, but you are still going to continue your journey on uncharted territory with me. You amaze me that way, Mackenzie." His voice was filled with affection rather than insult. "There is something in your music that I cannot describe, to be honest. In a positive way, of course."

"Che! You're just saying that so that I wouldn't quit as your accompanist again," I said with an eye roll to cover the flush of shyness I felt.

That caused him to laugh out loud, and then said, "I wasn't kidding when I told you that."

"I know I'm not at a level where I should let other people hear me. But I still want to play the piano with all my heart. I didn't feel like quitting at all," I honestly told him, cherishing our hug and smelling his foresty and fruity cologne. Gods, I missed his scent so much.

"Why the tons of hugs today?" he joked as he leaned away slightly from me while bobbing his eyebrows up and down.

"I read that hugging for twenty seconds releases oxytocin, which can cause you to trust someone more."

Lance froze in my embrace, but after a few seconds he hugged me back, putting his head on my shoulder. We sat there in silence, until I felt tears slowly soaking my shirt. Lance was crying, which alerted me. This was the first time that I saw him in this kind of state.

"I made you cry. I made the first girl that meant as much as the music I long to perfect cry. Forgive me, Mackenzie."

What? Did I hear him right? "I thought we were already done with this?" I asked instead with a chortle while tears were filling my eyes again. "This is absurd."

He chuckled as he faced me, and I wiped his tears with my thumbs, just like what he'd done to me a while ago. "Just making sure."

"You guys are right," I said after a moment of silence. "That I should move on from Brandon. That was my wish when we were firefly-gazing."

"I see. My wish was for my grandfather's shadow to disappear behind me," Lance said, and his gaze met mine.

I was captivated by it. "So, shall we help each other out?" I wanted to ask him about his grandfather, but I felt this wasn't the right time yet.

"Definitely."

"And FYI, the reason why Brandon and I broke up was--"

"No need to tell me the details," he said while squeezing his hand in mine. "Chel already told me."

"Wow, I have to give Rachel a reward."

"Hey! How about me?" Lance protested.

"Scratch that. I mean, I'll give you, Chel, Nis, Spence, and Dee a reward. All of you have helped me to realize things." I squeezed his hand. "Like turning resentment into forgiveness is a magical thing to do."

He squeezed back. "The pleasure is all ours."

"Oh, and Lance?"

"Yes, Mackenzie?"

I smiled earnestly at him. "From now on, please call me 'Kenzie.'"

That caused him to smile wider.

I'd decided to also let Eunice, Cindy, and Spencer call me by my nickname, feeling blessed I had new people I could lean to.

In the desert, I found another oasis: my new, true friends.

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This chapter is looooong overdue. Thankfully, my writing mood is back haha! Thanks for sticking with this story, friends. Mwahugsss!!! 😘😘😘