"Where am I...?" Ichimatsu thought groggily as he blinked his eyes halfway open. A bright white light shined down on his face, nearly blinding him for a moment. "The heck...?"

Ichimatsu gripped his hospital bed sheets and pushed himself up. His arm was killing him as he did such, but he didn't care. Pain always felt good, and nothing could ever change that.

"I see you're back, Matsuno," a doctor said, walking into Ichimatsu's room holding a pen and clipboard. "How are you feeling?"

Ichimatsu shut his eyes, not responding. "Why the heck would you care how I feel. You just HAVE to say that because you're a doctor. You're only doing this for money. Heck, you'd be fine if I died. You'd still get money."

"I said, Ichimatsu, how are you?" the doctor asked, his voice grew extremely demanding. He sat down in a little red round chair with wheels on it, sliding up to Ichimatsu's bedside.

"Don't reply. Don't reply. Don't reply!" Ichimatsu screamed at himself. His entire body ached with the longing to just tell someone how he had been feeling, yet he was scared to. "He'll only see me as weak. I'm just trash. I'm not weak..."

"Matsuno!" the doctor yelled, tapping his pen impatiently on the clipboard.

Ichimatsu cringed. He didn't quite enjoy people yelling at him. He was usually the one yelling at other people. It wasn't supposed to be the other way around.

Gripping the sheets tightly, Ichimatsu squinted his eyes shut, still refusing to speak. "I can't do it! I can't...I just can't..."

"Ichimatsu. I understand that you don't want to tell anyone. You're scared I'll tell your five brothers, aren't you?" the doctor said more calmly.

Ichimatsu felt like someone had jabbed him in the stomach.

"Like heck if I care that you tell them," he mumbled back at the doctor, "They already hate my guts. Just let me die. The world is better off without trash lying around. People hate litter, don't they?"

The doctor looked at Ichimatsu as pity overflowed his eyes.

"You've lost hope, haven't you, Matsuno Ichimatsu?" the doctor said, writing things down on his clipboard.

Ichimatsu didn't reply for several seconds. His thoughts were going in a million directions, thinking of how many ways he could kill himself when he was released from the hospital.

"I could drink bleach," Ichimatsu mused, "I could pour it in a cup, just pretending that it was water. Nobody would expect it. I would just be found dead. Or, I could hang myself. I still have that rope that Jyushimatsu uses to tie me to his baseball bat every so often. I could even just jump off that cliff into the ocean. My body would never be found. Trash is always overlooked anyways."

"Ichimatsu!" the doctor sighed loudly, "You're not even listening!"

"Why would I?" Ichimatsu snapped, "It's not like you care! It's not like anyone cares! Just let me go home so I can kill myself! I'm trash! Nobody wants to see litter like me!"

"Who ever said you were trash?" the doctor asked, writing more things down. "And why do you want to kill yourself so badly? What has happened in your life to make you this way, Matsuno?"

"I..." Ichimatsu mumbled, then began to shut everything out around him, listening to his thoughts. "Cut yourself harder than you ever had. You'll love it. It feels so good. All of your emotions, just flowing out of your body in red liquid. Isn't that how you like things? It seems perfect. A dream life. Trash has dreams too, you know! Cut yourself. K I L L yourself..."

Ichimatsu suddenly screamed, loudly. His entire body was trembling as his thoughts continued to tell him to kill himself. It was like a rock was continuously hitting him in the chest, and the only way to stop the rock, was to kill himself.

"Ichimatsu. Calm down. Everything will be okay," the doctor said, standing up, grabbing Ichimatsu by his shoulders.

"Like heck if you even know!" Ichimatsu yelled, "How the heck would you feel if voices were always telling you to kill yourself?! YOU DON'T FREAKING KNOW. AND NOBODY EVER WILL. YOU'RE NOT ME. YOU'RE NOT TRASH LIKE I AM."

Ichimatsu looked to the other side of the room, avoiding the menacing stare of the doctor.

"I'll be keeping you here until I feel that it is safe for you to go home. I'll speak to your family about this, but they won't be visiting you until it's safe," the doctor sighed, walking out of Ichimatsu's room.