She pats my head

She usually comes to hug me when its cold out during PE (I have no idea why I'm so warm all the time)

She's so smart

She likes Hamilton as much as I do

She's attractively weird but also really gorgeous

She makes me feel like I have a purpose to go to school

She has my birthday on her school calendar like I did with her birthday

She has been in my dream and she was chasing me around these swimming pools until we ended up walking into a sauna

She draws so well too

I constantly try to impress her whenever she's around

She makes me forget why I should even try in my classes when I'm around her

And I feel so offended for her when others call her emo behind my back

She calls me rad

She actually knows about my instagram account and likes my art and we talk on there and aaaaaa

Jeez man

I hate feeling like this

My gut just knows that it won't work out

I hate Valentines Day

Not only does it taunt me that it has my first name on it but I could've spent it with someone for the first time

It sucks and I'm pretty sure a lot of people can agree

I hate this

I don't know what to do anymore

Update: I actually plan on confessing to her with a gift and a letter on Valentines Day

But only to stop thinking this way
It hurts too much maybe

The gift isn't nothing too assertive or huge

Just a couple of Kisses and a dinosaur thing with a pun (You're Rawr-some!) and my letter with this meme that I printed out

Though I just plan on shoving the gift to her hands and run away after class and hope that I won't be seeing her next week

Sadly we have three periods together in a row and uh idk how I'm going to handle myself

So

Haha

End me