title : i miss christmas, i can't
believe it's over already
oc / pairing : sinatra stevens and
antônio câmara (sintonio)
trigger warnings : mentions of religious
trauma and abuse

DAY THREE : "i can't believe it's over already . "

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SINATRA TOOK DOWN THE LAST OF THE
CHRISTMAS ornaments from the tree. It's the most unfortunate one. A picture of his family before he started to socially transition. He immediately put it in the box. That wasn't the best time in his life, but this Christmas? Specifically this Christmas ... It was the best Christmas that he had in years.

No Christmas church services, none of his mother's screaming and yelling to look presentable. And ... He saw snow. A bunch of snow. And it was much more beautiful than what he usually saw in New Orleans. Sure, it was cold, but it was worth it. Last, and definitely not least, the best part of it all. Tony.

And it wasn't even because of Christmas. He was the best thing that happened over the course of the whole year. He just made Christmas even better than what it usually would be, in addition to the snow. Having him over for the usual Christmas dinner made it much more meaningful to him.

As he kept taking down the ornaments, he's slightly frightened the arms wrapping around him, but, he doesn't even have to look, recognizing the warmth and the feeling of said arms. It made Sinatra giggle.

"Hi there, sweetheart," Sinatra said to him, his smile growing wider within seconds, "almost scared me there for a moment."

"Sorry," Tony replied back, "you were too far away. It felt ... weird."

"Aw, you missed me," Sinatra giggled, "I missed you, too. Even though you were only upstairs."

Sinatra continued with taking down the ornaments, even with Tony's arms wrapped around him. He grabbed another one of the ornaments. It's another family portrait ornament. Why does he keep getting these ones out of all ornaments? He didn't know.

"So, you're still taking down the uh ..."

Sinatra glanced behind him. "The ornaments?"

"Ah, yes. The ornaments," Tony answered back.

Sinatra hummed. "Yep! It's a ... Tedious process, but ... You know."

Tony noticed the particular ornament that Sinatra had in his hands. It's like Sinatra couldn't let go of it. He saw the portrait. What he recognized to be Clarence, a mean lady, and five girls. If it hadn't been for the signature smile, Tony wouldn't have guessed that Sinatra was in the picture.

"Is that ..."

"Yeah," Sinatra said back, "Ma, Pa, my sisters ... And then me."

Tony knew about it now, there was no sense of hiding the pictures that led him to what he looked like today. And honestly, he didn't mind showing Tony. Did it feel wrong looking at old pictures of himself? Yeah, but he felt more comfortable in Tony knowing rather than not knowing.

"I wouldn't have guessed," Tony replied, "That is ... If the smile didn't give it away."

Sinatra then put the ornament in the box. He didn't want to look at it anymore. Sometimes his father made sure that people didn't see those when they came over, which was nice. But both of them trusted Tony enough. He knew, and Sinatra had pretty much decided that there were going to be no more secrets.

"Those Christmases with Ma were miserable," Sinatra explained, "God, I hated that dull, brown dress. I'm glad I don't have to wear it anymore. Let alone go to the Christmas church services."

"Glad you don't have those anymore," Tony said, trying to make light of what he was talking about.

Sinatra gave a small smile. "Tell me about it. If we didn't sit up straight or participate in the prayer she would yank us by the hair," he muttered, taking down more of the ornaments.

He felt Tony's arms wrap around him a little tighter. Sinatra immediately felt comfort in it. So much that he almost forgot the task at hand. It was like Tony knew he needed that. And honestly, it was more healing than anything.

"You don't have to deal with that anymore," Tony told him, "You don't have to ah ... speak to her. Or any of that."

"Yeah, thank the stars for that," Sinatra said back, a sad chuckle escaping his lips.

He took one of the last ornaments down from the tree. When he was done with that, he immediately pulled Tony to the couch in the living room before wrapping his arms around him.

"And to think," Sinatra spoke again, "I used to hate Christmas."

Tony raised a brow. He looked down at him. "You ... Used to hate Christmas?"

Sinatra nodded. "Yeah," he admitted, "My Ma made it so miserable that I couldn't stand it at all back in Louisiana. It was just ... traumatizing for a while."

"Well, it's clear that your ma hated fun," Tony said back.

That made Sinatra laugh. "Yeah," he said, "she did. But, we couldn't do anything about it. Not until we moved here. But now, Christmas has been more fun."

"Is it because of the snow?" Tony asked.

"That's partially it," Sinatra answered, "But, it's not just that, it's ... Not having my Ma scream in our ear. It's decorating the tree how we want. Not to mention I got to spend Christmas with my favorite person."

There's a smile dancing on Tony's lips. "Clarence?"

Sinatra giggled, giving him a playful, but gentle push. "No, silly! you," he told him.

Sinatra watched as Tony's smile grew wider. The smile that made him fall in love with Tony in the first place. It never failed to make his heart flutter.

"Me?" Tony asked. He sounded surprised.

"Yes, you!" Sinatra told him, before giving him a kiss on his cheek, "You're my favorite person."

Tony took his arms from around Sinatra, and he gently cupped his cheeks. Sinatra immediately melted at his touch. When Tony kissed him, Sinatra kissed back. It's cut short, because they hear Janet giggling at them from the kitchen door. The two of them pull away.

"Janet," Sinatra playfully scolded.

"Hey, don't mind me, just helping out Pa," Janet said back, "don't have too much fun on the couch."

Sinatra rolled his eyes. He looked back at Tony, who was beet red at this point. "Ignore her," he said with a giggle, "she doesn't know how to mind her business."

"Yes, I do!" Janet shouted back from the kitchen.

Sinatra smiled at the response, leaning his head on Tony's shoulder. He felt Tony wrap his arm around his shoulders. "Does she always do that?" Tony asked.

"Do what? Make fun of me?" Sinatra asked, "a bit. But it's all in good fun."

That's what made this Christmas so much more fun. It has always been eventful, but Sinatra never had this good of a time. Looking at the semi-lit tree, the gift wrappings everywhere, the snow on the window. He was actually really appreciative of how it turned out.

"God, i miss Christmas," Sinatra finally told Tony, "i can't believe it's over already."

"Me either," Tony replied back, "but, uh ... It'll come back. Next year, I think."

Sinatra chuckled. "It better," he said back, "I'd like to spend all my Christmases with you."

"Me too," Tony said back, before placing a kiss on Sinatra's forehead.