title : hold on, hold on. i'm sorry.
you're what?!
oc / pairing : elvira wright and
cameron james
trigger warnings : tiny mention of
homophobia

DAY SEVENTEEN : " YOU'RE WHAT?! "

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TWO MUGS ARE BEING SET DOWN ON THE MINI TABLE. Two different mugs of hot chocolate, one with marshmallows and one without. Cameron is already sitting down on the floor near that table, Elvira is propped up on her bed, sitting in the criss-cross style. Bearer of bad news is what Elvira initially thought. The two of them always shared it like this. With it being winter, they go for a beverage that's a little more Christmas-y instead of the usual coffee that helps keep themselves up at night.

Elvira grabbed her mug. The hot chocolate without the marshmallows. She took a sip, scrunching up her nose afterward. It was too sweet, even without the marshmallows in it. She put it back down on the table.

"So," she began, her tone of voice in its usual monotone state, "spill it. What's the news."

Straight to the point. Cameron knew that about her. Unfortunately, he didn't think it would help at the moment. He's already too scared to say the words that he was about to say to her.

First, he took a sip from the mug. The one with marshmallows. He put it down on the table. Elvira could tell that he looked completely stressed out. About what? She didn't know. Not unless he told her.

Cameron looked down. He's playing with his cuticles. "I think──" he started, "no. I know. I'm ..."

Elvira slightly tilted her head to the side. She's a little confused, though it barely showed. She doesn't say anything, they just waited for him to get it out.

"I'm gay," he finally said. God, saying it out loud made him feel so much worse.

Cameron looked at Elvira, waiting for her response. For the first time since they've known each other, a flash of emotions appeared on her face. First, it was confusion, second, it was surprise, and third, realization.

She finally put the mug down, shaking her head. "Hold on, hold on. I'm sorry. you're what?!"

Cameron felt almost embarrassed and disappointed to even say it again. But, he eventually repeated it. "I'm gay, El."

"Yeah, I heard what you said the first time," Elvira said back, her monotone demeanor returning, "you made me think it was bad news or something."

"That is bad news," Cameron told her.

Elvira shook her head as she took another sip of her hot chocolate. "No, Cam. That's not bad news," she said, "being gay is not bad. People just make it seem bad because they are homophobic."

Cameron shrugged. "Well, my dad, he─"

"You told your father?" She asked.

Cameron immediately shook his head. "Absolutely not. No. My dad would kill me," he explained, "he talks about it all the time. He talks about how they're scum of the earth."

"Well, your father should suffer a lobotomy," Elvira said back.

Cameron was quiet for a moment. He didn't know what to say about that. He didn't know what to do. He's glad that he had the realization, sure. But, he was scared about it. He took the mug in his hands again.

The two of them are quiet. They're sitting in Green Day filled silence. Elvira pushed up her glasses, taking another small sip from her mug again. Her eyes slightly squint. She's currently in thought.

"When did you realize this?" She asked.

"This summer. June, July, I don't exactly remember," Cameron answered honestly, before drinking from his mug.

"Six months?" Elvira asked, "And you didn't tell me?"

"You're the first to know. If that makes you feel better," Cameron told her.

She put her mug down. "Well. That is ... Good to know," she replied.

Elvira thought for a moment. She was actually curious about it. Usually, she wasn't the one to ask about things like this. But, with it being her friend, she wanted to know all the details.

She moved one of her curls behind her ear as she leaned against the wall that was behind her bed. "I wanna know everything," she said.

"Everything?" Cameron asked.

"Everything," Elvira answered, "Each little detail."

A sigh escaped Cameron's lips. If it was anyone he trusted with this information, it was Elvira. He knew that she wouldn't spill the secret. She wouldn't tell anyone, not even her brother, if he told her not to. He ran a hand through his hair, looking down at the floor.

"I think I've always known just a little bit when I was younger, but ... I think this summer was a real eye-opener," Cameron explained, "I met a guy at the ice cream parlor. We started talking. Both liked Shakespeare."

Elvira gave a hum. "Ah, yes, the bonding over literature," she said back to him, "carry on."

Cameron continued. "He was new, and you know, I moved prior, so did you. I knew all the spots by now, I showed him around," he told her, "it turned into library trips. Next thing, we were going to each other's houses. We called each other almost every day. It was nice."

"You're using past tense," Elvira told him, "did something happen between you two?"

"Not ... Really? We still talk. Not in school──"

"He goes to school with us?"

Cameron mentally cursed at himself. A sigh escaped his lips before he gave a nod. "Yeah."

"Oh," Elvira said back, "do I know him?"

"Well, I dunno," he answered.

"You don't know?"

Cameron shrugged. "He just moved here this summer," he told her, "I don't know if you would have any classes with him. You're pretty much in some of the advanced classes."

Elvira shrugged. "Well, try me," she said, "if you don't wanna give a name, just describe him."

Cameron didn't even have to think. "Long hair, brown. Green eyes. I think there's a bit of hazel in them, too," he started, "he wears flannels. Like ... Like all the time. Scouse accent──"

"Wait," Elvira interrupted, "Scouse accent?"

"Yeah?" Cameron asked.

"Cam, there is only one in all of Padua that has a Scouse accent," Elvira told him, "You spent the summer with Jamie Solomon?"

Cameron felt his face heat up, and it definitely wasn't because of the hot chocolate that he currently had in his hands. "Well── I──" he stammered, "yeah. Yeah, I-I did."

He then raised a brow. "Wait. You know Jamie?"

"He's in the same advanced English class as I am," Elvira answered.

Figured as much. Jamie was just that smart. Cameron wasn't surprised when he heard this. If it was any advanced class he was in, it would've been English.

"He told me about the summer. He talked about it. And he wouldn't stop talking about some guy," Elvira explained to him.

"You're friends with him?" Cameron asked.

"Well, sure. He's cool," she answered, "anyways, he wouldn't stop talking about it. About you, now that I know who he's talking about now."

Cameron was quiet for a moment. He didn't know that Jamie actively talked about them. Sometimes he felt guilty, not acknowledging him while they were in school. But, he wasn't exactly ready to confront that, yet. It was hard. And Jamie was so confident about it. It made him look stupid.

He thought about that night. Dead Poet's Society, shared pints of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream. One thing led to another. Cameron remembered all of it, and there was no doubt that Jamie remembered.

Elvira's eyes squint once again. "What exactly happened between you two?" She asked him.

Cameron sort of shrunk. He didn't know if he wanted to talk about it. Elvira noticed this. She shook her head, picking the mug back up.

"It's fine if you don't wanna talk about it."

"I don't. At least, not right now," Cameron told her.

Elvira gave a slight nod. "Okay. We don't have to talk about it."

"Thanks. It's not easy, you know. Talking about it. Or owning up to it, or whatever," Cameron said back.

"You're gonna have to at some point," Elvira said. She was the one for brutal honesty, "if you want to be with him. You have to acknowledge him and your sexuality. Right now, he feels like a secret, and that's not okay."

"Well, he would still have to be. My dad can't know, and even if we had a relationship and kept it secret, then what?" Cameron explained.

"That's better than just avoiding him," Elvira said, "at least he'll know that you like him."

A sigh escaped Cameron's lips. He just didn't know what to do. It was all so new. That's why he went to Elvira. She told the truth the way she saw it, and she was brutal about it, and she (almost) always knew what to do.

"So, why should I do?" Cameron asked.

"Talk," Elvira simply answered, "hang out with him at school. Don't just pretend he doesn't exist. Because he does, and you both like each other."

He gave a nod. He took a sip from his mug once again. Cameron doesn't put the mug back on the table. Not for a while, at least. He thought for a moment, slightly tapping his fingers on the mug that he's currently holding.

"Thanks, El. For everything. Not just this," Cameron said, a small smile crawling onto his lips.

There's a ghost of a smile that appears on Elvira's face. "Don't thank me. I just like to keep it real," she said back.