title : good luck, babe!
oc / pairing : clarence stevens
trigger warning(s) : mentions of internal
and external homophobia, mention of a
lynching, and mentions of abusive
relationships

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CLARENCE REFUSED TO BELIEVE ANYTHING of the sort. He's been in denial for a long time. It's not his fault, being that he's only holding onto whatever his father, siblings, and what the church taught him. It wasn't his fault. He was the way he was, and there was nothing that could change that. But even then, he still tried to change it. There were days when he tried to push down the feelings of whoever he had gotten close to. Whoever he got close to, they died. And it was his fault.

The first victim of this had done nothing to him but be kind. Levi Jackson was his very first and at the time, only friend. It is because of him and his mother that he's found his passion for baking. Clarence had no idea what he was feeling. Only that he wanted to hang out with Levi all the time. But with Mississippi and the laws, African Americans were still treated as unequal. Which meant Levi and Clarence had to hang out in secret, not only because of that, but because of Clarence's family.

Clarence found himself writing about Levi all the time. Every interaction they've had, he's written about. They've sent letters back and forth. Levi has always said he's loved Clarence's poetry. It's one of the things that's made him more confident with sharing his art, considering he's never shared it with his family other than Jess.

And then they found out.

Alice and his three brothers snooped in his room while he was gone. Found the letters. The one time Levi offered to walk Clarence home ended in a night of absolute terror. He's kicking and scratching one brother while the other two drag Levi off after beating him senseless.

"Don't hurt him! Stop! Let him go!"

"And have him brainwash you? He's obviously trying to bring you into a world of sin."

Clarence didn't understand. And his family didn't want him to. He hoped. He prayed that they eventually left Levi alone. But instead, his other two brothers hung him from a tree. He collapsed when he saw him hanging there on the way to school the next day. His heart shattered into a million pieces.

He wouldn't get to witness Levi's little pranks. He wouldn't hear him laugh. He wasn't here to playfully tease Clarence about the chicks digging his "brown puppy dog eyes." He unknowingly lost his first true love.

Only for him to be married off to Marianne Beckett by the time he was eighteen. They only did this to shut him up.

── ♡ ──

CLARENCE STEVENS DIDN'T KNOW BETTER. Moved to Louisiana gave him a bit of sanctuary away from his parents, but not from Marianne. Culinary school was pretty much home away from home. Culinary school was where he met Jamie Barlow, a peculiar man the same age as him. Though, Clarence knew that he was different. He liked different. He is the reason that Clarence has grown into his love of all things gothic and horror. Seeing The Exorcist changed his life.

It has opened new doors. Reading horror books, exploring the mythological world of vampires and Frankenstein and watching psychological horror movies like Psycho. He's found a home in books such as Interview with a Vampire and Carrie.

Jamie saw Clarence as Clarence in Louisiana. A lot of people simply saw Clarence as Marianne's husband. Not Jamie. Jamie could read him like a book. And Jamie knew something about Clarence that Clarence didn't even know about himself, yet, which causes their ground to shift just a little bit.

"You're wrong," Clarence told him, "I love Marianne."

"Do you?" Jamie asked, "Or are you just enduring her so she won't hurt your kids?"

Jamie caught him there, he knew. Clarence turns to him. "I'm doing what's best for them."

"I know. But the signs are there, Clare."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Clarence said back, "You can't prove it──"

"When Marianne reaches for you, you flinch," Jamie starts, "You don't want her to touch you. You didn't hesitate to grab my hand."

Clarence didn't want to hear anymore. He turned and he started to walk away. But Jamie kept talking.

"You kept getting embarrassed every time Frank-n-furter showed up in Rocky Horror," Jamie told him, "You ... You didn't exactly want to pull away from me when I kissed you."

Clarence turned back around. "That meant nothing," he said, "You're confused."

"No, you're confused. Your family screwed you up, you told me that. Clarence, it's okay──"

"It's disgusting," Clarence finally blurted out, before he took a breath, trying to calm himself, "Look. It's a sin. And when I die I want to go up to the pearly gates."

Jamie remained quiet for a while. There Clarence was, standing face to face with him. He felt bad for what he said. But it was true. And even if he wasn't married. It would still be wrong.

"I'm married. To Marianne. There's nothing you can do about that. I'm not like that. I'm not like you," Clarence explained to him.

"Whatever, it's fine," Jamie says, "But one day. You're going to find out for yourself. My voice is going to ring in your head, and you're gonna realize that I told you so."

Clarence goes to say something, but is immediately called by Marianne from inside of the house. That had been the end of that conversation. But, he knew that he wanted to prove Jamie wrong. He never got to.

Jamie was murdered a year after Clarence moved away because of Marianne's doing.

He doesn't get a chance to mourn him until later that fall.

── ♡ ──

CLARENCE TRIED TO PUSH IT DOWN. HE TRIED TO push whatever feelings that he had away. He's now free from Marianne's shackles. So are his children. Now a single father, he tries to do it all alone. It's difficult, but he managed. He's barely making it. Working double shifts at the bakery he managed to get a job at and making sure his kids get to school on time. It's a harsh reality that he has to face right now.

Stuart Johnston makes it a little bit easier. He moved in the summer of '85. Clarence unknowingly takes interest in the goofy lawyer that lives on Maple Street. But he dismisses that. He dismisses whatever emotions that he starts to feel for him. But this is the same man that tells him that his smile is sweet as sugar, the same man who elegantly writes to him. The same man who's confident enough to be flirty.

But he is afraid. Stuart Johnston, who kissed him in his own car after a date made Clarence almost lose his mind. And he escapes to his house to cry and beg for God's forgiveness.

Only to show up at Stuart's door three days later.

That night ended up in a romantic rendezvous that Clarence didn't even expect to happen. Curly hair is messy from Stuart's slight tugging, familiar spotting on his neck that he used to give Marianne, admittedly enough. The next morning, he's still wrapped up in Stuart's comforter and Clarence hears those dreaded words.

"I told you so."

Jamie was right, and now he was scared, not knowing what to do about it. It had been eight years since they had that argument. And now, he knew that he had to apologize for that.

The smell of burnt food would be something Clarence grew accustomed to due to Stuart's lack of cooking skills. But, it was a sweet gesture. One, that Clarence would eventually fix by making the two of them breakfast.

He thinks about it. So much that it almost distracts him when he's at work. Poor Alessandra has to snap him out of his thoughts. He's hiding something, she knows it. But Clarence wouldn't dare tell her what's going on in his mind. But when he's finally done thinking about it, a bouquet of red and white roses are sent his way.

"Have an admirer, do you?" Alessandra asked

"I guess so?" Clarence replied, putting the vase down.

"You know who they're from?"

Clarence shook his head. "I don't."

He then opened the little card, and it reads:
"Thank you for saving breakfast this morning. And thank you, for the best night I've had in ages. ;)"
── Shakespeare

Clarence knew exactly who it was now. He could feel his face heat up, and he could feel his heart practically melt in his stomach. He could hear Alessandra laugh at his embarrassed state. She pats his shoulder.

"Well, whoever it is," Alessandra starts, "Good luck, babe."

He turned, he watched Alessandra head to the back of the bakery. Clarence then looked back at the bouquet, eyes softening at the sight. He takes one of the roses out of the vase, putting his nose up to smell it. It smells crisp, freshly cut and watered. He puts the rose back in the vase, still looking at them.

He knew he needed much more than luck ...