Jajsjdjdjdejjwjwjsiaoa- I was supposed to update last week but I was busy rereading this entire longass story. There are a lot of grammar mistakes and sentences I'd like to rephrase (literally most of the chapters are cringey as hell, like I'm probably gonna rewrite a lot of the chapters completely for how cringe they are. Omg no-)

but I stopped myself from redoing it haha. Need to focus on finishing this. 👤👤👤

(Y/n)'s POV

I felt as if...

What did I feel like really?

I felt as if I.. have found a piece to a puzzle, I didn't know what would happen next. What if this puzzle piece was not the right one all long? It gives me hope yet I felt dread. After staring so long at this puzzle, trying to put it together, yet I'm missing some of the pieces that have not been put in the box. I feel a great mix of hope and dread.

They didn't mix well together.

Yet, here I am, eager to put it in the place I would imagine it being. With this dreadful hope.

How could I've known?

I made a mistake, and I ruined the puzzle. But, there was something special about playing games and putting puzzles together.

You can easily just restart. Just like that.

Everything is reset to what it used to be.

Sadly, unfortunately, sorrowfully, life just doesn't work that way.

Life is stepping on broken eggshells. Caressing a rose with a blindfold on, in hopes of not pricking your finger with a thorn.

One mistake.. and it's all over.

...?

Do you hear that? The sound of her distant footsteps. It seems like she never gives up.

Oh, how I wish I could be like her. To continue running the race to the same goal I once had. To reach for the strands of time and pull on them, and unlike life itself,

Restart it all.

I'm tired of wishing.. I was ditching.

~

I could not stop running. Even if my legs were broken in 2. Even if I was crawling on the ground in a desperate attempt to get further. I was full of hope and dread. The sheer shock of it all could've left me paralyzed on the ground next to a burning car.

Or should I say, the start of it all.

But I couldn't.

I just couldn't.

I couldn't let this go, I couldn't stand there knowing that there is a chance, a possibility that he's behind the glass ready to be taken to where the lonely creatures go. So if I have to stampede down the street covered with ashes and cuts, then so be it. I made a promise, I made a promise to him to never look back. To smile for him. But I couldn't bring myself to smile. To let go of everything and just be happy.

That's just not how life works.

With the abrupt open of a door I was in a familiar shop.

"Woah there! Hey, what's with the-" I pushed the man with the boxes out of the way and ran through a certain hallway to where the bitties are kept.

"Lady! What are you doing?" A familiar face appeared behind me. "Hey, are you hurt your covered in-"

"Not now Rashaa!" I gazed into the tank for the bitties. All the bitties stare at me in surprise.

I didn't see one Dust!Bitty anywhere!

I grabbed onto the temples of my head in distress. "Do you have a specialized Dust!Bitty coming in this shop?" I asked frantically. Not making eye-contact with my friend who now sees me as just a stranger.

"Wha- no we don't have any orders for one? Is that what your looking for?"
Rashaa asked.

I pushed right past her and hurried out of the door to the shop. I searched everywhere. I didn't see anything that stood out in the streets nor in the alley's. Nothing, absolutely nothing. I kept on getting calls from Josh, I still can't believe he hasn't sent any police after me. Maybe he's thinking I am in a state of trauma. Now, now I think I am in some sick state of trauma.

When I retreated back home. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry so badly. I wanted to hit the ground until my knuckles bled. I wanted to scream so loud until I couldn't feel my lungs. I wanted slip right there and let all my tears out. But I didn't move, I just stood right there in the front of the doorway to my lightless apartment. Not so much as a sob escaped me. I fell to the ground and curled up in on myself, holding onto my head with silent tears and hiccups escaping me. I didn't feel secure in anyway, he's not anywhere, so where can he be? I knew that he was gone. Gone just like everything I have ever worked for. All those funny and warm moments. All those days of learning more about each other. All those scary and terrible moments but i knew that with my friends in the end we could get through those problems together. But now.. what were all those moments for? What were all those feelings for? If it's just gonna slip past me like wind and leave me behind with the dust of a distant memory. A memory of a person who once stood there staring into the sunrise of new day, and simply smiling. They were gone now and what was left of them was just dust. We can't take things back, we can't just make things to what they were. Because even if we could go back in time. What's the point of living then if your just stuck in the past and not ready for the future.

I'm sorry.. I'm so, so sorry for not letting you have to future you were going to have.

I'm sorry for restarting a puzzle that was already solved. A puzzle that was never missing a piece.

I'm sorry..

I'm...

I never wanted to-..

I never wanted this to ever happen to you!

Knock
Knock
Knock..

I sat up from my miserable position on the floor. Staring at the closed door of my apartment.

Knock
Knock
Knock..

I got up slowly and padded towards the door, trying to rub my tears away. It's probably the police coming to investigate me for my sudden outburst.

I turned the handle and I bit my lip. The door slid open with a creak. Myy eyes were glued to the floor. Staring at what I expected to be the shoes of a policeman. But I saw something else. I could only choke on my breath as my eyes trailed upward, opening the door further and gripping the cold handle tighter and to, oh so desperately ask myself if this is just a dream.

I could still feel the dust on my skin. I could still feel the blood on my hands. I could still see the dull red-blue eyes that stared at me with a look that was full of dread. It felt so unreal. Like I was slowly turning into dust with him.

But now..

I was looking into those very eyes, and it felt as real as ever. Like I could let go of this handle and I would stay on the same ground he was standing on..

"..D.. Dust?"

I wanted to say this for awhile now.. but I wanted apologize. I wanted to say sorry for just giving up on the spot and leaving right then and there. I wanted to say sorry for letting you down. I can't imagine how many people were hopeful of me updating this story. But I can imagine how hurt you might've been from my miserable actions.
So I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.

I hope that finishing this story can make it up to you.

~mbaird422