"CRUEL SUMMER"

"mind setting the table for me sweetheart?" susannah asks you as you enter the kitchen, freshly changed out of your wet clothes into a swimsuit with flowy shorts and a hoodie over it. you nod and take the plates from her.

"smells good," you comment, walking past her. "what are you making?"

"garlic parmesan pasta," she grins. "chicken on the side, too."

you grin. you always loved susannah's cooking. laurel never cooked much, which you didn't blame her for, but you really cherished susannah's home cooked meals. every summer you made sure you spent a lot of time in the kitchen with her, eager to learn. it was also the best chance you got to bond with her. you have always known that she loves you, of course, but you could also always tell that belly was her favorite. she was the baby of the five of you, which automatically gave her more attention from the moms. also, she spent almost all of her time with them most summers, while you went and hung out with the boys. you didn't mind, really, but it was sometimes frustrating to see how clearly they favored your little sister over you.

"everyone!" laurel yells up the stairs, "dinners ready!"

there's a herd of footsteps as the boys come clambering down the stairs, taking their spots at the table. "where belly?" laurel asks. you look towards the glass doors facing the pool and see belly sitting outside, looking out towards the beach. "i'll get her."

as soon as you open the door, belly jumps and turns to you. she relaxes when she sees that it's you and smiles. "hey."

"hi bells," you say. "dinners ready. you okay?"

she nods. "yeah, yeah. just thinking. you know." she exchanges a knowing look with you, and you nod. you really did know. she was thinking about conrad. for as long as you could remember, belly had the biggest crush on conrad, and it always came into full bloom during the summer, not unlike your feelings for jeremiah. you were alike in that way, and there was always unspoken knowledge between the two of you, both of you knowing how the other felt yet rarely discussing it. the sister bond you shared made that easier.

"what's for dinner?" belly asks, standing from her chair and breaking your train of thought. you open the door for her.

"pasta and chicken."

"yum!"

after dinner, you excused yourself up to your bedroom to unpack and settle in. after a few hours, which somehow went from you unpacking to completely rearranging your room, there was a knock on your door. "come in!"

"what are you doing?" jeremiah asks, standing in your doorframe with an amused expression on his face. you look around your messy room then shrug.

"rearranging."

he laughs and shakes his head at you. "you're insane. ready for a break in your interior design?"

"only if that means it's beach time."

"of course that means it's beach time," he laughs as you immediately take off your hoodie that was covering your swimsuit and walk past him, out the door.

"let's go then!"

jeremiah follows you down the stairs, and you smile as you pass by the moms, who were sitting on the couch with belly, watching a movie. "off to the beach?" laurel asks. you nod.

"yup! be back soon."

susannah blows you both a kiss, "be safe!"

"we will!" you and jeremiah both call out, already out the door. a few minutes later, the two of you were sitting in the sand of the dark beach, listening to the waves crash in front of you.

"best thing and worst thing from your year, go," jeremiah says suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence the two of you had been sharing. you consider his question for a minute before answering.

"best thing... got my license! me and belly actually went on a whole day trip to the shops that are a couple hours away, it was super fun," you say. jeremiah grins.

"licensed! can't wait to be a passenger princess all summer!" you laugh and shove his arm lightly.

"don't act like you don't have your license," you say. "i fully except you to be driving me around all the time too."

he nods. "maybe. worst thing, now."

you shrug. "i don't know. it was a pretty good year. i guess maybe breaking my wrist in the fall."

"yeah, no shit that would suck!" jeremiah exclaims. "why didn't you tell me you did?"

"i don't know," you say honestly. "i guess it just didn't come up."

"just didn't come up in the hundreds of texts and facetime calls," jeremiah shakes his head. "i see how it is."

you laugh and so does he, then you find yourself in silence again. he was staring forward into the water but you turned your head and stared at him, picking up on every feature of his. his eyes sparkled, reflecting the moonlight. his whole face was soft, relaxed, and you loved seeing him like this. he was always putting on a show, trying to entertain the world around him, but in moments like this when it was just the two of you, he was more vulnerable. you loved it. you hate that you have to keep reminding yourself that you're with peter now, and happy, so you can't think of jeremiah like that anymore.

you clear your throat to break the silence. "your turn. best and worst of the year."

"oh, that's easy," he says, meeting your gaze. "best was when i got moved up to varsity football this past season. got to play with connie. it was incredible."

"jere!" you exclaim, "that's amazing! forget my damn wrist, you could've told me that earlier!"

"i was kinda caught up in it," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "that's why i never really could call you during the football season. let it get to my head pretty bad, but it was okay in the end."

"no shame in being proud of yourself for something great," you assure him. "we just gotta get better at updating each other on the big things in our lives, not just the little random things."

"you mean i shouldn't just call you to tell you i saw a taylor swift lookalike at chipotle?"

"oh, no," you say. "you totally still need to tell me that. but like, mention the other life changing things too."

"deal," jeremiah says, smiling as you catch his gaze. his expression was always soft when he looked at you. you would never let yourself admit it, but you had never seen him look at anyone else the same way before. you didn't want to start thinking that, though. it would get your hopes up too much. but it didn't even matter now. peter.

"worst thing?" you ask. he sighs.

"i guess when conrad quit the football team."

your eyes widen. "what?! why?"

he shakes his head, suddenly defeated. his whole demeanor changed, and it was clear that this was really weighing down on him. "i don't know. i wish i knew. he's just been so...different, lately. we used to hang out and he was so excited for me to be on the team with him. then it's like a flip switched. suddenly he's so cold to me, like, always. wont even look at a football. didn't come to a single one of my games after he quit— which was mid season, did i mention? he barely even talks to me or mom anymore. seeing you guys today was the happiest i've seen him in forever."

"oh, jere," you say softly, studying his expression. you had noticed a change in conrad today, too, but you didn't know if it was in your head or not. he had seemed so happy around belly, or laurel, but otherwise he was more closed off than usual. you couldn't imagine what jeremiah was feeling, having to watch his best friend drift away from him like that. "have you talked to him about it?"

he shrugs. "he won't ever say anything. acts like nothing is wrong with him. i don't know. i just feel terrible for mom. she's so, lost, i guess. like, when she was sick, he was kinda the rock in the family. he's always been the most levelheaded. losing that support...i don't know. it's weird. i'm trying to be better at stuff like that for her, but i'm not conrad. i can't be as good as him."

"that's one thing you can't start believing, that you're not good enough," you say. "you're both just as important to your family as the other. just because he handles different things as you doesn't mean that he's better. with the other stuff...i don't know, jere. he's levelheaded, yeah, but he's also crazy stubborn. when he's caught up in his head about something there's no getting him out."

"don't i know it," he grumbles. then, he shakes his head and looks at you, a calmer expression on his face. "thank you, (y/n). conrad is too complicated to figure out usually. i really appreciate you listening," he grabs your hand. "i've missed you so much. just talking about that makes me feel better."

you squeeze his hand. "of course. you know you can always talk to me."

your silence this time is broken by your phone buzzing. then buzzing again. and again. you sigh. "sorry, thought i silenced this."

pulling out your phone, you see that the texts are from peter.

peter: (y/n) :((

peter: u promised to call me every night at 10

peter: what are u doing???

"oh shit," you mumble, pulling your hand away from jeremiah to text back. he looks at you, concerned.

"is everything okay? who is it?"

you nod. "it's um, peter."

"peter?" he asks. "who's peter?"

"my," you hesitate, still staring at your phone. "my uh, boyfriend."

jeremiah visibly stiffens, moving slightly away from you. "boyfriend, huh?" his tone is no longer warm. his voice is strained, and he stares out into the water. "didn't mention that in the best thing from your year. or in any of our facetimes, or texts."

"it's fairly new," you explain, still attempting to avoid looking at him. the air between you two felt weird, suddenly. less comfortable. "um, i was gonna mention it at some point tonight. i just was waiting to see how it went with him."

"yeah."

with that, jeremiah suddenly stands up and stretches. "i could really go for a swim," he looks down at you, a forced smile on his face. "i am really happy for you, (y/n). c'mon, come swim."

but he didn't wait for you to follow him. he turned away quickly and took big steps towards the water. as soon as he was in it deep enough, he dove under a wave, staying under the water for a concerning amount of time, before coming up for air, and doing it again. you sigh. you weren't sure what that was about, but you weren't about to make it worse. you quickly text peter back, then turn off your phone, following jeremiah into the ocean.

you: got caught up sry call u later