"AFTERGLOW"

you wake up the next morning a few minutes before five, and you're immediately wide awake. suddenly, you really regret going to bed so early. you often sleep in while at cousins, at least until nine, so waking up at five in the morning feels like your nightmare. after almost thirty minutes of trying to convince yourself to go back to sleep, you finally give up. you stand up, stretch, then throw on an oversized crewneck as you sneak out your door. you slowly tiptoe downstairs, careful not to make any noises, and out the door, cherishing the fresh breeze as it gently brushes your face.

you slowly make your way to the beach. the sun was yet to rise, but it wasn't completely dark out. the air was colder than usual due to the storm last night and there was debris everywhere, but otherwise, it was a beautiful morning.

you find a flat spot in the sand and sit down, facing the ocean. the waves were choppy, as they often are after a huge storm. if you were honest, this was how you liked the beach. the waves were fun to watch when they were like this, and you knew that they'd calm down by daytime so it would be safe to surf later. the silence on the beach with nothing but the crashing of the waves to fill the sound...perfection. it almost put you back to sleep.

as you watch the waves, images from your fight with jeremiah come back to your mind. you felt like an idiot, honestly. you had used your own insecurities to pick a fight with him and blamed him for how you felt, when truthfully, you never even asked him how he felt. maybe he really never meant to hurt you. you just wished that instead of fighting, the two of you had talked. really talked. you've never fought with him like that before. you really have never fought with him at all before.

soft footsteps approached you from behind, and suddenly, jeremiah was sitting next to you. he looks out at the water, not looking at you, but you watch him closely. your heart began to race as soon as you saw him. he seems so calm. he always does, honestly. he has never been one to let emotion drive his mood. except for last night, of course. but you blame yourself for that.

the two of you sit in silence for what feels like forever, your mind going in every direction, attempting to piece together some sort of apology. before you can say anything, jeremiah takes a deep breath.

"the day i knew i was in love with you was my eleventh birthday," he says, as if he was casually discussing the weather. your head whips over to stare at him, wide-eyed, but he still was staring at the water. "i remember, so vividly, waking up in the middle of the night because you were in my room, decorating it. you were, uh, trying to do it quietly, but you were ten, so that wasn't the easiest. i woke up and saw you doing that and pretended i was asleep because i didn't wanna ruin the surprise. the next morning there was a homemade birthday cake on the counter and you... you had flour on your left cheek. my mom told me later that you insisted on making the cake for me yourself."

he risks a glance at you and you're still staring at him, wide-eyed. he continues. "i obviously didn't know what love really felt like at eleven. but from that day on, you were the only person i ever cared about. i always wanted to be around you. i talked about you constantly. my mom knew it before i did, actually. at the end of last summer she asked me why i hadn't made a move yet because the two of us made it painfully obvious we had feelings for each other. and i guess i didn't really have an answer for her other than that i was scared."

you stare at him, looking between his eyes. "scared?" you ask, your voice coming out small. he clears his throat.

"you're my best friend, (y/n)," he says. "i can flirt with anyone and get with anyone else because it doesn't matter...but with you, it does. i've always known that if you and me were going to be together, it needed to be perfect. that's why the first night on the beach, when you told me you were dating peter, i got so upset. i guess i thought that was going to be my perfect moment. that's not your fault, though. i made up this story in my head and i just...i didn't know how to act when it didn't go perfectly. i guess for a while i kinda thought i lost my chance with you."

you don't answer him, you just stare forward at the waves, which seem to be calming down. he clears his throat. "i'm sorry, i just needed to make sure you knew everything."

"no!" you exclaim, "no, don't apologize. i'm just... i don't really know what to say."

"you don't have to say anything," jeremiah assures. "i didn't come here and expect you to declare your love for me back, i just needed to uh, put that out there. i don't like when you're mad at me."

you stare at him closely. his body language seems to have stiffened and he avoids your eye contact again. you shake your head. "jere, i did all that for your birthday because i realized that i loved you, too.

"you were always so perfect to me. you taught me exactly how i should be treated by a guy, i genuinely never felt more respected than when i was with you. i...i kinda feel like i've just been waiting for you my whole life. like, every guy i talked to, i constantly compared to you. even peter, who i thought would break me out of this. he was never you, and i think that is what ruined a lot of my relationships. you are the only person i've ever truly wanted, i guess i just never knew how to admit it fully."

before you can say anything else, jeremiah takes your face in his hands and kisses you. it was exactly like how you had imagined it your whole life. he was so gentle with you yet kissed you with passion, as if his entire world depended on you in that moment. you melt into him, tangling your hands in his beautiful, soft, hair as he moves his hands to hold your waist, pulling you closer to him. when you eventually pull apart, he rests his forehead on yours. he has an uncontrollable grin on his face. so do you.

"been waiting for you to do that all summer," you say.

"i've been waiting to do that for years," he replies. you laugh and cup his cheek in your hand, rubbing his face softly. the two of you stare at each other, dopey, lovestruck looks on both of your faces.

"jere?"

"hm?"

"you should be belly's escort to the deb hall."

"what?" he asks, shocked. "no, i can't, not now."

"she's one of your best friends," you say. "she deserves to have someone good take her, like you said. you'll take her as a friend. i think she would really appreciate it."

jeremiah sighs. "are you sure? i...i don't wanna do anything to ruin this."

you laugh. "jere, i swear to you, i wouldn't let anything take you away from me. no matter what we are."

he kisses you again, somehow with more passion this time. you smile into the kiss, feeling the same butterflies in your stomach that you had gotten from him your whole life. you had a feeling that you would always get butterflies when you're with him.

the two of you end up laying in the sand, your head on his chest, listening to both the waves and his heartbeat. he holds you tightly and you cherish this moment. you knew that no matter what happened with the two of you, you'd always have this moment. you could always remember him like this.

eventually, after the sun rose, you head inside. you sit on a barstool as jeremiah starts a pot of coffee and searches in the pantry for something to make for breakfast. you sit and watch him, imagining if this was always your life. imagining early morning lie-ins with him, making breakfast for each other, spending your days together, supporting each other through everything. most of all, you imagined being with him year-round. you had never once spent a winter together, and suddenly, that was all you could think about. jeremiah caught you staring at him and laughs. "what're you thinking about?"

"oh, you know," you sigh dreamily. "marriage, kids, retirement. everything."

he laughs again. "moving fast, huh? big plans."

"of course," you nod. "you making me coffee just convinced me that was next."

he winks at you as he hands you a cup of coffee, made exactly how you like it. "good. that was my plan all along."

a few minutes pass before belly wanders into the kitchen, yawning. she stops in surprise when she sees the two of you. "what are you guys doing up so early? and...um, together?"

you laugh and take a sip of your coffee. "just talking. what are you doing?"

she rubs her eyes as she sits next to you at the bar. "ugh, early deb practice. last couple weeks and they're really drilling everything into our heads."

"oh, speaking of," jeremiah spins around and glances at you. you nod, and he faces belly. "i'd still love to be your escort, if you'll have me."

belly looks between the two of you and you give her an encouraging smile. she turns to jeremiah and smiles. "thank you, jere. you have no idea how much you're saving my ass."

"anything for my conklins'." he winks at you then turns away, back to the eggs he had started cooking. belly gives you a 'what the fuck was that' look at you wave her off, mouthing that you'll explain later. soon enough, jeremiah serves both of you perfectly cooked scrambled, cheesy eggs. belly shortly after excuses herself to get ready for practice, and jeremiah checks his watch sheepishly.

"i uh, guess i should go get ready too, right?" he asks you. you nod.

"oh yeah. you gotta make an appearance so everyone knows you're real," you say. he gives you a weak smile, then comes to stand in front of you.

"are you sure you're okay with this?"

you grab his hand. "jere, i promise i am. anyways, we've kissed like, two times. i cant get too possessive this early."

he laughs and kisses you softly. "what about three times?"

"still too little," you say thoughtfully. "gotta get to like, sixty before i can start voicing my opinions."

jeremiah hums and kisses your forehead lightly. "sure. so, by tomorrow night?"

you laugh and push him away lightly. "go, get ready. go be belly's prince for a few weeks. i'll be here when you get back."

with one last kiss he leaves, but he turns around and gives you one last smile before he fully leaves the room and goes upstairs. you take a deep breath and rub your face, attempting to conceal the redness which you were sure was appearing on your cheeks. jeremiah had a way of making you feel like the only girl in the world. you hope, more than anything, that would never change.