"I fell for you"

I saw the swelling trepidation scour his face before it had even registered to him, painting his features in an astounded glow lit up by the crisp embers still crackling out their finale, eager to die down and sleep, much like everyone else it seemed. Everyone but the two of us, lay sinful, wasting in each other's burning shame.

Then he'd fallen, and I watched it, the fleeting moment of breathless shock slipping from his features to slink back into the shadows with naught but a sympathetic glance toward me and my vulnerable words still simmering in the rapidly cooling air, as it went. His hulking mass of regret pushed me deep into to the smothering satin beneath me as he held his shameful expression only inches above my haunted eyes.

A moment, a sliver of silence, a fleeting nod to our quiet companion that still hung in the air, thick and monstrous. Then I blinked and he'd moved, slipping off me as I grew cold and uncomfortable, watching him dress in his usual attire and walk further from the bed, silent, and scornful. In reality he only stood a few metres from my trembling form, but feeling further away from me than he'd ever likely been, so far I could've believed one of us were dead, merely a spirit, no longer present to the lingering world. God how I'd wished it was me.

My mouth parted open, eager to form the sound of his name, to call him back to caress my lips against his one more, but my tongue silenced every attempt and my throat constricted, leaving me pained, vying for his attention, his acknowledgement of the harsh truth I'd spoken.

Damn. I knew it, I'd known it, it should've been cut with diamond into the cage around my beating heart by now. This is what came from words such as these. This was the punishment I served only myself when I was foolish enough to let the truth out, speak it blindly into the pressing silence like I were anyone but myself, like I wished my own agony upon myself. But I took it anyway, blunt and harsh as his ice tipped spears that seemed to pin me lifeless to the bed, as his careful hands had done only moments earlier.

I was sure he'd be gone soon, fleeing from the lasting reverberating echoes of my cruel words, leaving me bleeding and numb as the ebbing pain washed acid throughout me despite my best efforts to disconnect, to be cold, unfeeling, unbroken. I was sure he'd leave the silence where it stood, dominating and demanding submission, never allowing him to speak a word. And I knew he would comply.

But he didn't. He threw caution to the wind and dared to pour his voice from his silver tongue. He spoke. And I crumbled.

"No...Ora, you haven't." His words came sickly and unwavering, emotionless and cruel beyond anything, falling upon the body of silence as it turned from power to pity. The quiet settling upon me after the quiet statement fell more forgiving over my shoulders, clawing at me in attempt to pull the past through its deadened hands and take the last spoken phrase from our minds, erasing its injury. But it could never be that successful, and I bit back my grimace as the weight against me gave way, crushing my ribs, splintering against the dusty organ that still unfortunately pumped ceaselessly within me.

Above everything I began to feel the shock of anger pawing at me, seeping cold fluid into my veins again as I seethed, spurred on by the sheer agony thundering throughout me.

"Don't even try that shit right now, asshole. It's your fault I even fell in-...fell-....lost in the first place." I seethed, sitting up as I pulled my nightshirt over my head and rose to my feet, disliking the superiority he had standing tall and stoic as I lay naked and cold among the sheets, still trembling with the after effects of his touch.

He didn't turn, he didn't speak but I saw his head bow a little, watching the tension rise in his shoulders as I fought the urge bring my blade across his neck for ever having the audacity. It was tempting, all the more tempting to leave, go home, breaking the force between us now I knew how dangerous this infatuation had become.

"I fucking fell- I don't- I can't- god! I hate it." I spat, stuttering away as a million and one words swirled around my head, each one louder than the next and growing more so with every chant until I felt like screaming, plugging my ears and folding into myself, willing the pain to stop.

"You haven't fallen for me, Ora." He uttered sombrely, still not letting his violent green gaze trail over me. Though it was probably for the best, as I troublingly lost all sense of reality when I looked into those swirling green marbles. And maybe I had lost myself, maybe I'd never returned from the maze of turbulent chaos that constantly waged gruesome battles beyond his stare. Maybe I had lost myself in his eyes. Maybe I'd lost myself in his entire being; everything that drew me to him and everything he seemed undesirable. And I wanted it all.

"I've fallen-" I tried again but this time he was quick to cut me off.

"No, Aurora." He snapped sharply, his eyes suddenly icy as he spun round to watch me carefully, his tone thick with menace and warning, desperately disguising the vulnerability that rusted and shook the foundations of his words as I bit my tongue.

"You haven't- you haven't fallen for me."

My brow creased into a frown as I slowly registered the strained depth to his words, tumbling over and over the final breath as I aimed to distinguish what exactly he meant. His eyelids shuttered momentarily as he swallowed thickly and allowed his gaze to scan over my form, quiet and calculating as he planned his next words, sensing my confusion.

"Ora I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- you-." He sighed for a moment, screwing up his eyes as he took a deafening step forth, crumbling the force of my restraint under foot as his sincerity struck me blind.

"You fell for this." He uttered so quietly it almost lost itself under the tumbling chaos of the fire still crackling away, and the rumbling hum of silence that exploded a riotous cacophony in my ears. He gestured to his form as he spoke, but my confusion only deepened, not understanding his meaning. I watched his jaw strain and tense again, before his head bowed and he looked down, silently refusing any elaboration at his own cost with a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry, Ora I'm sorry." He muttered quietly, swallowing again as I took a step forward, unable to stand any more apology from his silken lips.

He took a shaking breath and finally levelled his eyes with mine, ripping the air from my lungs when I found all that leaked like drops of precious blood from the turbulent wreckage of his haunted gaze. Something flickered in his eyes, an unprecedented glimmer of what looked to be deep understanding. And regrettably, a sense of finality, staining the whites of his eyes. Like an addict, promising the last hit before sobriety. Like a dead man, lovingly parting from his last breath's exhale. Like a man, ready to let go...

"You'd do well to leave here." He uttered tiredly, wary of my reaction as he poured over the words sewn into his tongue.

"Leave your home, find someone, settle down somewhere, somewhere quiet, unassuming. Give yourself a life, Ora."

By now I was fuming, powered by the furious fire that ripped through me at his infuriating sentiment. How could he be such a fucking asshole. To take me here, make me helpless to him, look at me like I'm the last light in his shadowed vessel. And then bullshit about leading a normal life with someone like I hadn't just torn a misshapen piece of my heart and dignity out in the form of those words I wished I could pull from the past and stuff away forever.

"You insult me by believing that's anything like the life I dream of." I spat, tearing his eyes up to mine when he felt my venom burning acid in his blood. He frowned, took a step forward and shook his head softly, ripping the barbed wire from within my flesh with each breath.

"I'm no fool. I know you'd never fall in love with such a menial, consistent life. But arguably...I think you may need it." He spoke purposefully, running a sharply definitive gaze over the plane of my face creased with irritation.

"No- no no fuck you fuck you." I finally snapped, flying at him as I slammed my fists into his chest over and over screaming 'fuck you' until my voice cracked and he finally snatched my wrists up, restraining me against his chest for a moment too long before I let out a loud growl, pushing myself off of him, my hands still pressed against his thrumming pulse. He fixed me with a long subdued look, his mouth a thin line as I watched his jaw clench and unclench.

"It's you it's fucking you and I fucking hate it." I spat, my fingers tense as I curled them up into a tight fist and glared right through him.

"Ora, it's n-"

"It is! It's fucking you. You piece of shit I wished you'd died but here you are and here I am and I've fall-" my voice cracked off into a whisper and I looked down, unable to handle the screaming instincts that pulled and scratched at me for being so...so exposed.

"I've fallen." I finished as a whisper, looking away from him, not wanting to meet his eyes. When he spoke again his voice had lost the soft sympathies and had now curled a sharp, warning edge to it, almost making me flinch as he stepped closer.

"You haven't fallen for me, Ora."

But I bit my lip, shook my head, despite every thought to run, to tell him it was all a joke and 'april fools' I'm out.

"I fucking have, and I hate it. You think I chose to-"

"Aurora." He growled sharply, sending the softest of nerves strung within me to flee, hidden away behind my strong facade as I ground my teeth, lit up by an anger of my own. I opened my mouth, dragging my eyes up to meet his, about to spit back at him exactly what I thought of him, when my eyes shuttered for a moment, freezing me in place, blinking a few times in case what I was seeing was just some trick of the light.

My frown flattened out and I felt my jaw grow slack as a steady crimson stain began to seep over his glossy emerald glass and over the whites of his eyes, completely taking form over his gaze which was now blood red and glaring at me. My narrowed eyes widened as I then caught sight of something spreading out over his skin, quick and all consuming like a parasite.

As it ran over the span of his face I watched his skin turn a deep cerulean blue, stretching out across his skin that ran prominent markings in lines over his skull and around his cheeks nose and mouth. I followed the path of deep blue where it crossed over his neck and over the skin still hidden by his tunic, hypnotised by the vibrant colour and the delicate lined markings that ran deep in his smooth marble skin, etching out patterns and beautiful designs in raised flesh that I wanted immediately to run my fingers over, sealing the truth my eyes told me as I traced the outlines with the lightest touch of my fingertips.

I hadn't realised I'd been about to do just that until he hurriedly backed away, raising his hands in warning for me not to come any closer. His stare flashed dangerous, warning me with deadly intent, but there was something else, a strike of fear, etched deep into the crease of his brow and the contours of his sullen frown.

I bit my cheek, tasting blood as the raw flesh stung and I frowned, taking another step towards him, entranced by the mystical form he'd taken before me. The stunning blue complexion and delicate lines over his skin drawing me in to the point of no return. He stepped back again and this time I saw his jaw twitch with restraint as he glared at me dangerously.

"Don't- don't touch me. My skin will burn and blacken your flesh." He growled sharply, his slicing tone and cutting scowl resembling that of pure fear and wariness, like a predatory creature, fearing for its own life, warding me off as I stepped even closer.

"Loki." I whispered quietly, assuring, but he sharply pulled away again and snapped, cutting me off.

"Don't-"

"Loki..." I tried again, softly muttering his name, in a trance as I stepped forward and finally came close enough to him that I could feel the immeasurably icy chill radiating off of him. He stiffened visibly, even tighter than he had been tensed before and I swallowed my own apprehension and closed my eyes for a second, revelling in the smooth marbled plane of his skin as I finally made contact with his patterned cheek, drawing my hand into the side of his face as a shiver ran down my spine.

He was cold, freezing; but not uncomfortably so, and as I let out a shaky exhale I opened my eyes again, looking out through the haze into his scarlet glassy stare, his face had thawed, seeping into an expression of desperation and despair as I ran my fingers over the raised expressions outlining his sculpted cheekbones. His eyes pooled with a blackened corruption, holding me in place as his breath became shaky and quivering with restraint and deep emotion. And for the first time, I saw it, streak across his gaze, an insecurity he fell on, unable to hide.

But just as quickly as it came, he blinked and it vanished, snapping him out of the thick hypnotic tension stirring between us in that moment. His eyes narrowed and a flash of horror flooded his expression as he tore my hand away from his cheek, quickly pulling my palm upwards for him to inspect, almost as if he were expecting the blatant display of injury across my hand, a canvas of black sin his monstrous damnation had painted on in careful, corrupt strokes. A display for both of us to see the damage he'd caused in this form...his form.

But there was nothing.

My hand was still as blank as the day it had been formed, slightly flushed where the cold had drawn up a stream of blood to the surface of my flesh, but otherwise unscathed. And he just stared, eyes wide, flitting over every inch of my pale skin that delicately lay in his grip. The jarring beauty of each of our stark complexions against each other stirred a restless feeling in my gut, pleasant and warm.

He frowned, confused, completely disbelieving of the resistance my skin had to his crippling temperatures. I just smiled, unable to help myself. Biting my cheek when he flinched at the feeling of my fingers running over his arm, curious and searching, blissfully exploring the surface of his smooth, marked flesh.

God, I was in awe.

I didn't know what I was expecting. I guess I hoped he'd grab me in his arms and pull me away from the open in between the sheets where we could commit our corrupt sins, hidden away from the world and the prying eyes and the stripping light of day. I hoped he'd take me in his arms and give me comfort from the sickening attack of every word I'd spat at him in torment...and those words.

But he didn't...

"Ora... leave." He growled quietly, almost hissing the words as he demanded My absence.

~~~~~~~~

This chapter's so shittt don't even 🤭 I'm so sorry I've been completely awol for like a month and I've just come back to publish a chapter half the size of the last one.

I promise next one will be better I've just been hella tied down with Satan's Buttload of extra work ✌️✌️✌️

I hope you're all doing amazingly otherwise ❤️❤️❤️