a/n: i got home from my lectures today and did some reading and then sat down at my laptop and thought hey it's been a while since y/n was mortally wounded and loki was losing his shit panicking so uhh yeah.

tw: mentions of serious injury and blood

...

Your left side is split open like a fish ready for gutting.

That had been your first thought when you'd looked down at your torso, and then you'd caught a glimpse of your ribcage and blacked out for a second. It hadn't hurt, not then, so you'd blinked, stumbled on, and killed the last of whatever creatures it was you'd been killing. You can't even remember now.

Then there had been no more danger, and you'd stopped moving, standing very still, unable to remember what it is you're supposed to do in these sorts of situations. You've been hurt before, of course you have, but not like this.

The pain grew and grew and grew, and you'd just stood there, swaying slightly on your feet, trying not to feel the warmth from the blood which was pouring down your side, down your leg. You'd started to feel vaguely sick, your vision beginning to go blurry around the edges.

Then you'd seen Loki. He's in front of you now, about thirty feet away. Oh, yeah, you think. He's here too. He's suddenly only five feet away, and you blink again.

"You okay?" you see his lips move, but no sound comes out. There's a very loud rushing noise in your ears, but there's no wind. You frown slightly, and you get to see Loki's face a split second after he looks down and sees that you are almost split in half.

It's as though the expression of shock and fear which materialises on his face acts as a trigger for your pain, which you can now feel. You'd thought you could feel it before, but that had been nothing.

Loki disappears and then you're in a place where the darkness is so black it's suffocating you and you can't feel your limbs or think with your mind. There's only pain.

Obliterating, reality-bending pain.

You wait in agony for it to pass, but it doesn't. Instead you feel a hand, and Loki is pulling you back to him.

The ground is cold and hard against your back. It takes you a while to find your eyelids in order to open them, and when you do you can't see for a good few seconds. The pain is still there, but muted now. It's still enough to bring tears to your eyes.

There's something soft and much more comfortable than the ground behind your head, and Loki is sat next to you, legs crossed, both of his hands holding one of yours in his lap. His head is bowed, eyes shut, but as you open your eyes he lifts his head to look at you.

Your eyes meet his, and you stare blearily at him for a few seconds.

"You with me?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah." you try and say, but the word catches in your throat and then you're coughing, trying to sit up as a reflex, and the pain which tears its way up your side sends you reeling straight back into oblivion.

When you drift back into your body again, you're quicker to find your eyelids. Loki is still there, lying next to you this time, eyes closed, fingers laced through yours. You experiment with squeezing his hand, and to your surprise your fingers obey you.

He's awake and sitting up in a second, his face alive with panic. He's asking you a hundred questions, his mind travelling faster than you can ever remember yours being able to move.

"I'm okay." you whisper, afraid to speak louder in case you're wracked with coughs again. You don't want to go back into the dark place.

A look of incredulity passes over Loki's face, and then he's shouting at you, and that's way too loud, so you close your eyes. When you open them again he's crying, but not in the pitiful sort of way that most people cry. They're fierce tears, fuelled by love.

You wish you could sit up to hug him, but you can't, so you have to settle for extending your hand a fraction of a centimetre. He holds on to it like a lifeline, and you wait for him to stop crying, watching the colour bleed back into your surroundings and listening to the sounds around you becoming less and less muffled.

As your senses return, so does the pain, but you grit your teeth and embrace it, letting it wash over you.

"What's going to happen to me when you get yourself killed by being so reckless?" Loki asks you, his voice thick with emotion. It makes your heart hurt.

"It's not that bad." you reply, meeting his gaze again. The same look of incredulity passes over his face, but then he sees that the corner of your mouth has quirked up the tiniest bit and lets out an astonished laugh. You want to sit up, but you're not sure if you can.

"You need to be more careful." he tells you seriously, and you try nodding. It works.

"Help me sit?" you ask. He looks like he wants to shake his head, but you look at him imploringly. He has to aide you with his magic, and it takes several minutes, but eventually you're sat upright, slumped heavily against Loki.

"You look pale. Are you okay?" you ask him, breathing heavily. You feel as though you've just run a marathon.

"I've just spent the best part of an hour trying to knit your torso back together, and I thought you died at least four times. I've been better." he tells you.

"Thanks." you say, unsure whether you want to look down or not.

"You'll have a scar. Magic can only do so much." Loki says, his fingers tracing the skin which was torn apart not one hour ago.

"Like save my life?"

"What if I'm not around to put you back together one day?" he asks you, quietly, as though if he says it loudly enough it will come to pass.

"I'll stop doing dangerous things when you do." you tell him, and he doesn't have an answer for that. You sit in silence for a minute, before Loki exhales sharply.

"I can't lose you." he whispers, burying his face in your hair.

"You won't." you tell him firmly, closing your eyes. You want to add "I promise.", but can't bring yourself to say it. Instead your hand finds his, and he squeezes, hard.

"I'm not going anywhere." you say, shifting slightly and catching a groan of pain before it can escape you as pain lances through your torso.

"Stop that. Stay still." Loki says sternly, lifting his head.

"What are we waiting for?" you ask him, blinking hard to try and rid the tears of pain from your eyes.

"Your moron friends. You could have died and they're still not here." he says angrily.

"I'm sure they're doing their best." you murmur, suddenly very tired.

"Stay awake for me." Loki tells you, all annoyance vanished from his voice. There's an undercurrent of fear in the way he speaks.

"I'm fine." you tell him again.

"Please." he says.

You just about manage to keep your eyes open for him until the Quinjet finally arrives. When you let the darkness take you again, you find yourself hoping that you'll be able to find your way back to your body for a third time.