a/n: thank you guys for all the love on the first part, I hope you enjoy<3

word count: 2.6k

...

Getting lost in his accidental fantasy is the easiest thing Loki has ever had to do. It might be because you're so real.

The way you squint and shield your face when the light gets in your eyes, the way you laugh, talk, and smile, how you absentmindedly reach for his hand with yours, the way you trace his scars as you lie in bed together, how you chew your lower lip when you get anxious, it's all you.

He doesn't think about what happened except when he sleeps. At night he dreams about your unmoving face, devoid of expression, your blood staining his hands.

But then he wakes up and there you are, pulling him from the nightmare to soothe him with sleepy forehead kisses and quiet reassurances, and then he gets to pull you against him and listen to you falling back to sleep. He could, does, stay up all night feeling your chest rising and falling as you breathe, your heartbeat steady, your body warm curled against his cold one.

This alone, Loki thinks, is worth everything in the world and more. Which is why he becomes unhappy extremely quickly when he realises that there are people who are trying to take it away from him.

Everything is fine; he genuinely can't fathom why people are trying to take this, to take you, away from him.

'Thor,' he mutters under his breath, glaring out of the window of your home at a toy helicopter which Loki is certain is a drone from outside. From them. It has become wedged in your bush. He's sure it's his meddling brother and his friends trying to ruin things for him, as usual.

'Who's Thor?' you ask, coming up behind up and placing a hand on his arm. Your words render him speechless for a few seconds, but he recovers quickly.

'No one,' he replies, putting an arm around you and drawing you to his side.

'What's that?' you frown, peering out of the window at the helicopter.

'Just a toy. Someone must have dropped it there,' he tells you, watching it carefully. You look at him, then back at the helicopter.

'I'll go and -'

'No,' Loki interrupts, rather more sharply than he'd intended. You look at him, an eyebrow raised, and he softens instantly.

'The owner will never find it if you move it. Leave it there, I'm sure it'll be gone by the end of the day,' he tells you. You shrug.

'Okay.'

More and more abnormalities appear over the coming days and, despite Loki's best efforts, you're noticing. He tries to keep you happy and content, but you never were one to just sit back and let things happen, especially if said things weren't pleasing to you.

Loki supposes he should have seen this coming, but it still doesn't make your gradually building restlessness and annoyance towards him any easier. He wishes he could tell you that he's doing all of this for you, but he knows he can't.

'What's outside of town?'

His heart drops when you ask him, and he looks at you for a long time before replying. You stand in front of him defiantly, despite being a foot smaller than him, your chin raised, determination warring with anxiety behind your eyes. He loves you so much that it's a physical sensation in his chest.

'You don't want to know. I promise you.'

Loki knows before he's finished speaking that it won't be enough for you.

Anger flares across your face; your eyebrows draw down and together and you set your jaw, stepping closer to him.

'And what makes you think you get to make that decision for me?'

He's fallen in at the deep end, and now, seeing you so angry at him and worried for the both of you, he's drowning. What can he say?

'You've never spoken to me like this before.'

Your eyes widen and then you're shouting, really shouting. The neighbours will be talking tonight. Loki wishes that was all he had to worry about.

'Before what? Before what!? I don't remember anything outside of this place, I don't know who I am!' you exclaim, moving backwards as he moves towards you. There's actual fear in your eyes when you look at him, and it pains him more than anything.

At first you push him away when he tries to get you in his arms, but after a few seconds you give up and become pliant against him. He feels you push your face against his chest, and allows himself to relax.

'I'm scared.'

Your voice, in stark contradiction to the one you'd seconds previously been utilising, sounds so small and fearful. Loki holds you tighter against him, wishing that this would all just go away. Everything but you.

'Do you trust me?' he asks gently, his chin resting on the top of your head.

When you don't reply immediately, he pulls back to look down at you, still holding on to you tightly. There's a hint of reluctance in your gaze that never used to be there before, and he hates himself for putting it there.

'Yes,' you say, but the pause before you had spoken had been immeasurably louder than anything else you could have replied with. Loki is silent for a few seconds as he struggles to find the correct words.

'I would do... absolutely anything for you. There's nothing on this planet I wouldn't do just to make you smile, do you know that?'

You're trying to push him away to hide a reluctant smile, but he's not letting you get away with it.

'No, Y/N, look at me,' he says, and you do, and this time you're looking at him like that, like you love him. He could live for a thousand years on that look alone, he's sure of it.

'I need to know that you understand what I'm saying to you.'

Before all this, when he'd still been shrouded in shock and sleep had evaded him night after night, one of the things that had kept him up was the thought that you hadn't known just how deep his love for you ran.

You'd known he'd loved you, of course you had, but even love seemed like too bland of a word for the way he felt towards you. He just needs to know that you know.

'I understand,' you tell him, and he doesn't know if you do or not but it has to be enough.

'You don't need to be scared. Please don't be scared,' he says to you, and you lean forward to press your forehead against his chest. He pulls you against him again and feels your heartbeat against his ribcage.

This encounter strengthens his resolve to do something which he's been putting off for a while now. And so later that night, Loki leaves you sleeping in bed and walks until he reaches the edge of town.

He has to stop and take a few deep breaths before walking any further when he gets there, because doing this means acknowledging reality, something that he's working incredibly hard not to do. But he has to do this. For you.

He closes his eyes and creates a gap in the invisible wall of the Hex in front of him, and walks through. Almost immediately, he's surrounded. Lights flash, people are shouting and running, guns are cocked and aimed at him, and he just stands there, seething, holding on to the toy helicopter which had resumed its true form as a drone the minute he'd stepped outside.

'Breach! We have a breach!'

It's a minute before someone is brave enough to come forward with a megaphone to speak to him. They're sensible enough to keep their distance.

Loki swings the destroyed drone behind him before tossing it forward with force; it flies and lands on the floor before the person with the megaphone, skidding to a halt at their feet. He can't make out any faces with the lights trained on his face.

'I believe that belongs to you,' he says, his voice carrying across the field. No one replies, so he continues.

'This will be your only warning. Stay out of my home. You don't bother me, I won't bother you.'

'You've taken an entire town hostage,' an unfamiliar voice says, and some part of Loki, very, very, deep down, feels a flicker of remorse. Then he thinks of you, sleeping peacefully in bed at home, and it's gone as quickly as it had come.

Before he can think of a response, a more familiar voice reaches him.

'Loki! Loki,' Thor appears suddenly, shoving his way through the gunmen and barrelling towards him, a wild mixture of relief, anger, and grief on his face. Loki backs up fast, holding a hand up to warn his brother off. Seeing him isn't what he bargained for, coming out here.

He thinks of you saying, 'Who's Thor?' and pushes the thought away quickly.

'Don't,' Loki says quietly, and Thor is smart enough to stop, standing between his brother and the men with guns.

'Loki. What are you doing?' Thor asks, and he just sounds sad. Sad and tired. Grief has changed his face, making itself shockingly apparent on his features.

'It doesn't matter. Just leave. Leave me alone,' Loki replies, knowing that it's useless even as he says the words.

'You know I won't. We can't,' Thor says, and Loki looks past him to see more and more people emerging. There must be close to a hundred people crowded around him, and beyond that a village of tents and marquees and trucks and equipment.

All this, he thinks, to take you away from him. Again. They'll need more than this if that's truly what they plan on doing.

'We've seen what's going on in there. I've seen you with her, but it's not really her, is it? I know you remember,' Thor speaks, taking a step towards him. Loki shakes his head, stepping backwards.

'Stop it. Leave,' he tells his brother, hating how full of pain his voice sounds.

'She's dead, Loki. You held her as she died; we both saw what happened...'

'Thor,' Loki says, louder, threateningly, feeling magic burn at his fingertips as emotion grips him. The shouts of the people around them sound muffled to him; he has eyes only for his brother, who looks utterly defeated.

'Stop this. It's madness,' Thor begs, his voice so quiet that Loki knows he's the only one who can hear it.

'You're the one with the guns,' Loki scorns, nodding to the men with firearms who are mere seconds away from attempting to shoot him.

'Please, Loki...'

'Leave it. Tell them all. I'm not leaving, so you may as well,' Loki says firmly, walking backwards steadily now, preparing to get back into the Hex. Back to you. The thought makes the look on Thor's face less painful.

He hears someone shout 'Fire!', watches Thor spin around and shout 'No, stand down!' and chaos reigns, bullets flying, missing him by inches, people yelling and stampeding towards him, but he's already halfway back into the Hex, and then... silence.

There's not a sound back inside the Hex; it's so quiet that for a few moments Loki thinks something might have gone wrong, but he's used to the city, and this is an urban area; it's the dead of night.

He walks back home slowly, not thinking about his brother's grief-stricken face, or about how he's out there on his own, mourning by himself.

You're waiting for him in the kitchen when he gets home, sat cross legged on the kitchen surface, your eyes half shut with tiredness.

'Where were you?' you ask, your voice husky with sleep.

'I just went on a walk,' he tells you, walking over to you with the intention of taking you in his arms, but before he can get there you slide down from the side and cross your arms.

'Tell me what's going on.'

Loki stops, frowning.

'What?'

'If you don't tell me what's going on right now, I will pack my things and leave.'

Loki laughs, a reaction borne from the panic which is brewing in his chest.

'Where will you go?'

It was the wrong thing to say, he knows.

'Out of town. Away.'

Away from you, he thinks you had wanted to say, but stopped yourself before you could articulate the thought.

'You would leave me?' he asks, and his voice sounds oh so small, even to his own ears. You square your shoulders and nod, your eyes fierce even as they fill with tears, and he knows suddenly with awful clarity that it's over.

He brings you to the sofa, sits you down, and tells you everything. Even while he's talking he knows you'll believe him without a doubt; it's your reaction that he's worried about.

When he's done, you sit in silence for the longest time.

'You have to take it down.'

It's exactly what he'd been dreading.

'No, you'll-'

'Die?' you breathe, looking at him incredulously, sadly. 'I already did.'

He's shaking his head, but you hold his hands and repeat, 'You have to.'

He knows you're right. He hates it. Hates everything.

You move closer to him on the sofa and get underneath his arm, resting your head against his shoulder. He holds you, trying not to think about how this might be it. Really it, this time.

'I'm sorry,' you say, your voice thick with emotion.

'What for?' Loki asks, incredulous that you think yourself capable of ever doing anything wrong.

'That you had to lose me. I don't think... I wouldn't have been able to...' you struggle to find the words, shaking your head.

'It wasn't your fault,' Loki tells you, and you laugh.

'Sounded that way,' you say, and he's aware that he should still be talking; making the most of his time left with you, but there isn't a thought in his head apart from dread at the thought of losing you again.

'One more week,' he murmurs against the top of your head, but you instantly protest.

'These people are all stuck in here. It's not fair,' you tell him firmly.

'I don't know if I can.'

'Can what? Stop all of this?'

'No. I can't-'

Lose you again. He can't even say the words out loud.

'You have to,' you say again, your voice wavering ever so slightly. You're signing up to being erased from reality, and Loki thinks that if you can be brave enough to do that, then he can be brave enough to lose you again.

Because you're right, as you so often were. He has to.

Later, you stand with your back pressed against his chest and his arms around you as you watch out of the window while your world literally disintegrates before your eyes. Your heartbeat feels faster than usual, and when you turn to him there are tears in both of your eyes.

You take his face in your hands and he has to close his eyes; it's too much.

'I am always with you,' you tell him, your voice barely more than a whisper.

'Look at me.'

He does, and he wants to tell you how sorry he is, how he feels like he's dying along with you, how he misses you so much that it hurts already, how he'll never love anyone else the way he loves you, and so much more.

But there's no time left, and so he just whispers your name and watches your eyes widen and your mouth part slightly in surprise as your body falls away with the last of the Hex, dissolving gently into nothing.

Leaving him alone. Again.

I am always with you.