Yoongi stared at the poster in front of him in disgust. It was an announcement to the Halloween school dance.

Dances were for losers.

He thought about ripping it off the wall and throw it away. But Jungkook was next to him happily clapping his hands.

"We have to go Yoongi!"

"Jungkook no. I hate dances. You know that."

"We will get to dress up. It'll be a distraction. It's good to get out of the house after what Park dickhead Jimin did to you." He said angrily.

"Jimin will most likely be there with Sana. Do I really want to go there and torture myself?"

"We will all be in costumes. Plus, you can't miss out on things because of him. You have a right to be there. I'm sure Taehyung will be there and I'm-I'm going."

"And it doesn't make you nervous at all?"

"Nope, but apparently it does make you."

Yoongi scoffed, "Ahh. Whatever. I'm so over it now."

"Really?"

"Yep. Over it." He turned around and of course Jimin was walking down the hall. His heart started aching so he looked away.

"You can't lie to me. Your face says it all."

"It was partly my fault. If I would've just gone to fucking pee that night instead of going up to his room none of that would've happened."

"Oh right. Then you forced him to kiss your first and undress you huh?"

"Well, no, but I had something to do with it too."

"Ugh. I can't stand you and your niceness right now."

Yoongi rolled his eyes, "Okay, okay. Let's talk about the dance, yeah?"

"I thought you said you didn't want to go."

"I changed my mind. It will be fun I suppose."

Jungkook immediately grinned. "Yay! We have to discuss what we're going to dress up like. Should we match? Be scary? Cute? Should you be Chuky and I be Tiffany?" He blabbed.

Yoongi laughed shaking his head. Jungkook was too involved in his thinking that he didn't notice Jimin walk by.

He made eye contact with Yoongi and smiled a little. Yoongi turned his face away with a lump on his throat.

This totally threw Jimin off guard. He even turned back around to see if Yoongi was looking, but he wasn't.

Ouch.

•••

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" His mom asked.

"Nope. I'm good."

"It'll be fun! You haven't seen Lisa in so long. It'll be nice to catch up with her."

"Uhh...I'm good mother. You do realize her mom wants me to date Lisa right? Does she know how weird it will be? We basically grew up together."

"Sheesh. It's all a joke. You know how friends are with each other."

"Sure, I guess friends want to force their children to get together so they can continue their forever bond huh?"

His mom frowned, "All right smartass. I'll be back later. I left food in the fridge."

"Okay. Thanks."

"Hey are you sure you're okay? You seem different."

Yoongi looked up. Was he that obvious that even his mom noticed this? He had to do better and hide his emotions.

"Yeah mother. I'm great."

"Hmm. Sure. You'll tell me eventually. I'll be back before your dad gets home."

She excused herself and Yoongi stayed behind drowned in his sour reality. Not even doing college work got his mind off Jimin.

If he could just turn back and prevent the kiss from happening he would. That night changed everything completely.

Because Yoongi knew that Jimin felt something for him. You don't kiss someone with that much passion and want unless you feel something.

The thing that fucked him up the most was the fact that Jimin was still in denial. Did he even have a right to out him?

Of course he knew he was confused. He had once been there before. It was overwhelming in every sense. You didn't know whether you truly liked boys or the thrill of kissing a boy.

Either way, he at least had discussed that with the boy he first kiss. Not like Jimin simply brushing it off like it was nothing.

The doorbell rung and he looked up from his paperwork. "Mother did you forget something?" He called getting up.

"You always walk out the house without the one things you need. It's fine I will—" Yoongi gasped as soon as he opened the door.

It wasn't his mom. It was Park Jimin right there. He stood with a gallon of banana milk and a guilty smile.

"I brought you your favorite." He said holding up the gallon.

"I don't really feel like being reckless today." He answered. He wasn't precisely talking about the milk.

"Hmm. You can always keep it whenever you do feel like it. It's good until uhh...November 10."

Yoongi took the gallon and with that he let him in. He was weak when it came to Jimin. In his mind he was scolding himself for doing this. He'd only regret it later.

"You're home alone?" He asked looking around. He knew he was just wanted to make a conversation.

He had parked a few houses away contemplating whether he should go in or not. Then he saw his mom leave the house so he finally build up the courage to go knock.

"Yeah." He mumbled heading to the kitchen. He put the gallon in there and closed the door. Jimin happened to be behind it so it startled Yoongi.

"Sorry." He said stepping back.

"It's fine. What are you doing here?" He bluntly asked.

"Just stopping by you know. We haven't...we haven't really talked."

"Uh huh." Yoongi replied leaning on the fridge.

Jimin gulped nervously. Seeing him up close brought back too many memories. "I feel like you're mad at me. Are you?" He asked snapping himself out those thoughts.

"Why does it matter?" He asked avoiding the question.

"Because we're...uhh..." friends. Why couldn't he say that word? Maybe because friends didn't kiss each other.

"I just feel like you're mad at me, okay? You're probably embarrassed because I went to that ice cream shop and saw you work there. It's no big deal to me I swear."

Yoongi titled his head to the side. Was he that illusive? "You think that's why I'm mad at you?"

"Umm...yes."

"Oh boy. Okay. Yeah. You're forgiven for going to my work place." He sarcastically replied going to take a seat.

He started flipping through his homework feeling Jimin's gaze on him. He slowly approached him sitting next to him.

"I don't want to talk about it." He finally whispered.

Yoongi looked up knowing exactly what he was referring to. "But it happened. Why can't we discuss it?" He whispered back.

"Because we are friends. This wasn't suppose to happen. You—you helped me get with Sana. I was going to help you get with a boy. We crossed boundaries that shouldn't have crossed. I don't want to lose our friendship over this, okay? It was a moment of thrill. I was tipsy and you were—"

"Perfectly sober."

Jimin looked in his direction with a bright red face. Yoongi avoided eye contact with him. If he looked he would show how hurt he was.

"Yoongi I—"

"I know. You like Sana."

He remained quiet. He did. Or so he thought. He wasn't going to admit his doubts out loud. It would only hurt Yoongi more. He wouldn't drag him into his confusion. It was for him to resolve and no one else's.

"It's fine. I'm over it. It was just a few kisses like you said." He forced himself to say.

"I just don't want to make things weird between us." He quietly told.

They've been weird since we made out. Yoongi wanted to say, but instead he just nodded. Defeated was a good way to describe how he felt at the moment.

"Can we just go back to being the way we were? Please?"

Yoongi finally looked at him. Could they really just go back to before? How could he not think about that night when it was on his mind like a broken record?

"Sure."

"Friends?" He asked extending his hand out to him.

Yoongi debated shaking it. At last he did. "Friends." He said through a knot that had build up in his throat.

That was the thing about love. You subjected yourself to failure and vulnerability. Yoongi didn't want to be just friends.

He wanted more. But his fear of Jimin leaving his life and not missing him was too much to even think about.

That was one of the worst feelings. Being afraid of losing someone who was never yours to begin with.