We walk off the stage and enter our waiting room. I sit on the couch and I'm still crying. My emotions are all over the place.

I hug Ella who was seated next to me. We all are silently crying for basically the rest of the time.

Once the show ended, we had to wait for most of the audience to leave before we could leave. I changed into the outfit that I brought with me, I don't care how I look right now. I took off my makeup since I had mascara dripping down my face like a waterfall.

I'm sitting in our waiting room, we have to wait for the producers to come to tell us that our vans are ready. I looked at my members, some were sitting on the chairs just staring at their phones, some on the sofa staring into space, the others just around the room.

I'm of course still super sad, but I couldn't cry anymore. I've run out of tears, so now in sitting here spaced out. I didn't even realize that the producers have come and told us that the vans were ready. Ella shook me to get my attention. "Come on Zoey, let's go now." She softly said to me.

I nodded and I quickly got up and followed them. I had my bag in hand and my phone. We were wearing masks since 1) there were a lot of fans waiting outside, 2) because we are a mess, and 3) the air is quite bad today.

I follow them out of the building and into the parking lot. There were already a lot of other idols who were leaving, I weaved my way through the crowd. It was overwhelming but I managed to get through and made it to our vans. I entered the van and I sat near the window to the back. I was next to Caro and Ella in the back.

I stayed quiet in the back, just staring out the window. It started snowing lightly and it looked beautiful. I was trying not to cry since I wanted to stay strong for everyone. I need to stay strong for Vee.

I didn't notice that we started moving. We were headed back to the penthouse. I watched as the buildings passed us and the faint light of the lamp posts.

*****

We made it back and I immediately went to my room, I wasn't in the mood to do anything else but lay down and cry. I put my stuff on the floor next to my bed and plopped down. I got under the covers and my tears started falling again.

"Why did you have to leave me?! Why?!" I screamed into my pillow as I cried.

I ended up falling asleep after who knows how long of crying.

Caro's POV:

Zoey went up to the room right when we got back and so did most of the members. It's late at night and we dont have much to do.

"Hey guys, do you guys want some pizza?" I say to the ones who were still with me.

"Yeah, just get our usual," Ella says as she takes off her jacket.

"I'll order it," Sarah says as she takes out her phone.

"Okay, I'll go clean up the table," I say as I walk to the kitchen.

The table had so many things in it, it's a mess.

Ella comes in to help me. "You think Zoey will be okay?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure. But she is a really strong person so I know that she'll stay strong for Vee."

"That's true, plus she wouldn't want Vee to see her so sad."

"That's what she was doing earlier. I feel bad for her, she's already lost so many people in her life."

"Yeah, but she has us. And we are definitely not leaving her side."

"That's a fact, I'll always be here for her no matter what." I give Ella a soft smile.

I just hope Zoey will be okay...

Zoey's POV:

I woke up in the middle of the night, I rub my eyes as I sit up. I look around and it's dark, the moonlight shone through my window. I look to my right and find Caro peacefully sleeping in her bed.

I sigh, I'm not that sleepy anymore so I might as well find something to do. I get out of my comfy bed and I walk out of the room. The place was dark, not a light on except for the moon that peeped through the windows. I tiptoe down the hallway into the bathroom, trying not to make too much noise.

I turn on the light and I shut the door behind me. I am all alone in this giant bathroom. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I look like a wreak. My eyes are all puffy and my face is all red. I splash water on my face and I dry it with a towel.

I stare at myself for a bit but then I suddenly felt a rumble in my stomach. Right, I didn't eat dinner. Well, might as well go look for some food to eat. I walk out of the bathroom, carefully tiptoeing down the steps.

It was too dark so I turned on the light in the kitchen, I open the fridge and I find some pizza in its box.

There was a note on the top. It said, "This is for you Zoey, you didn't eat earlier and we didn't want to disturb you. There's also some coke and some cookies for you. We love you!♡ -ND" I was on the verge of crying again, they really love me. I bet they thought I wasn't going to come out of my room at all, but I don't think Vee would wanna see me just laying in bed all day.

I took the food out of the box and put it on a plate. I also put the cookies on a plate and I put them in the microwave. I'm not going to eat my food cold. I'm not going to have my coke yet since it's late in the night, that's not good for my stomach. I heard the microwave beeping and I took out my food. I put it on the kitchen island and I sat down to eat.

I sat there in silence as I peacefully ate my food. My mind was wandering to random things. I quickly devoured my food and placed my dishes in the sink. I'm standing at the end of the stairs contemplating whether I should head back up to my room, or find something else to do. I stand there for a solid 5 mins debating, then I made the choice to go sit outside on the balcony.

I quietly go to my room and grab my jacket and phone, being careful not to wake Caro up. I walk back downstairs and grab my boots. I slide them on and I open the door that leads outside. The cold winter air hitting me as I open it. I carefully close the door, trying not to make too much noise.

I stand there, taking in my surroundings. The sky is dark, with the moonlight shining down on me. There's snow everywhere, and it's dimly lit by the few lights I turned on. I walk over to the railing and take a seat on the chair. It's cold outside but I liked it.

I peaked my head over the ranking to get a view of the cars passing below me. It was 1:25 in the morning, yet there were so many cars passing by, I'm not surprised though. I lean against the chair and I just close my eyes to think.

I'm trying not to cry again as memories flood back to me. Mostly our memories of Christmas.

*Flashback - 5 years ago*

I sat in the living room at Vee's house. They decided to have a Christmas Eve dinner party at their place and it was only Caro and me who were invited.

Vee was getting us some snacks to eat while we waited for dinner to be ready. I wanted to help Tita Rachel cook, but she refused to even let me enter the kitchen. According to her 'guests shouldn't have to help', and so I'm stuck sitting here.

Tita Rachel, wanted this Christmas to be special since I didn't have my family to spend it with. So she wanted me and Caro to experience Christmas with them because 'we are just like family', which is true.

Caro and I usually spend our Christmas by ourselves, and we have small parties with our friend group. Growing up, the two of us never really spent Christmas with any of our relatives. It was always pretty lonely and sad.

But anyways, Vee came back with some chips and a fruit tray. She knows me so well, that she got me a separate bowl with a bunch of yogurt dipping sauce. She knows I like my fruit with the dipping sauce. I thank her and she sits down with us and we eat. We were gonna watch a movie, but then we ended up talking about random things.

We were talking for an hour and we didn't even realize it. Tita Rachel called us to come and get seated in the dining room. I sat beside Caro with Vee and her sister on the other side.

Tita Rachel and her husband had already set everything up for us, I didn't even get to help. We took pictures and then we prayed, me being the one to lead the prayer. After praying we got into eating.

Of course, since we are all Filipinos, we don't have the typical Christmas meal. We mostly have a bunch of Filipino foods like lumpia, Filipino spaghetti, adobo, menudo, pancit, palabok, crowd chicken, lechon baboy, and many more foods. I took a little of each so that I can get a taste of all this goodness.

We talked about our Christmas plans as we are our food. I liked talking with them about my plans because they don't judge me, unlike my parents. They always asked me how I'm doing and how my day was, something my parents failed to do.

After dinner we all sat down and watched a movie, we opted for "Home Alone" which was our fav Christmas movie. I loved watching it with them.

After that, Caro and I had to leave since we were gonna stay up late, at home. It was Christmas eve after all, and Caro's boyfriend was waiting at home. Tita Rachel handed me a bag filled with gifts and I handed them mine. A small don't exchange but I liked it.

Then we were on our way back home.

*End of flashback*

I close my eyes and I just sit there in silence. It's cold out but I like the feeling.

As I am sitting there, I get a text message. I look at my phone and it says "Jeon Jungkook".

Jungkook:
"Hey, are you awake?"

Zoey:
"Yeah, I am."

Jungkook:
"I expected you to be sleeping considering the fact that it's dark out."

Zoey:
"I was sleeping for quite a long time, then I woke up."

Jungkook:
"Are you doing okay?"

Zoey:
"Well if you consider losing your best friend not okay, then no I'm not. But I've got to stay strong."

Jungkook:
"Do you wanna call?"

Zoey:
"Yeah, sure I guess. It would be nice to have someone to talk to."

My phone rang, and it was obviously Jungkook. I answer and I put the phone up to my ear.

"Hi..." I heard his raspy voice on the other side.

"Hi..." I reply not really knowing what to say. "I didn't ask earlier but why are you awake."

"I can't really sleep, my brain won't let me." He chuckles softly. I shiver as a cold wind hits me. "Wait are you outside?! Why do I hear wind?" He sounded more concerned now.

"Yeah, I'm sitting outside on the balcony."

"Why are you outside? You're gonna get sick."

"I just needed some fresh air, and a place to think."

"You need to go inside, you're gonna get sick."

"I will in a bit..."

He stayed silent for a bit. "Do you wanna meet up?"

"Meet up? Where?"

"There should be a convenience store near the hotel you're staying at, I think."

"Yeah, there's one like 7 mins from here."

"Ohh good, do you wanna meet there?"

"Yeah sure."

"Okay, actually you stay at the hotel ill come pick you up."

"But it's only like 7 mins away."

"I know, but I'm not gonna let you walk alone at night. Especially since it's cold out."

"Okay fine, I'm waiting in the lobby."

"Okay, I'll be there soon."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye, and stay there!"

I chuckle before turning my phone off. I place my phone back in my lap and I sit there for a bit more.

If I gonna go out I might as well leave a note for anyone who will wonder where I am. It's late at night and I don't want them to go crazy thinking I killed myself or something.

I went back inside and grabbed a paper and a pen. I quickly wrote that I went out with jungkook to the convenience store, I also signed my name so they know it's really me. I set the note on the kitchen counter so that they see it if they pass by.

Im sorry to disturb your reading, but quick disclaimer. If you are reading this on another website/app other than the app wattpad, this story has been copied and put onto another website. Please report this to the website headquarters and let them know that this has been plagiarized. This is not theirs and this belongs to the author @ami_gguk on wattpad.

If however you are reading this on wattpad but the author isn't @ami_gguk then please report it as plagiarism. Thank you, and you may now continue reading.

I grab my key card, my phone and my wallet and I walk to the elevator. I slide on my boots and I get in the elevator. The ride down was quick, I look at myself in the mirror walls of the elevator. I look terrible, my hair is a mess and my eyes are puffy. I take my hair tie and I tie my hair up into a ponytail, I don't want people to think I got run over by a bus.

I exit the elevator and I make my way to the lobby, I guess Jungkook wasn't here yet since I didn't see his car outside. I sit down in the seating area as I wait for Jungkook to text me.

I was silently sitting there for maybe, 10 mins before I got a text from Jungkook.

Jungkook:
"I'm here in the parking lot."

I didn't bother texting back since I was about to see him anyways. I near the entrance and I see his car outside, he was outside leaning against the side of the car. I open the door and I walk out.

"Hi, you didn't take as long as I expected."

"I got here as quick as I could." He replies as he opens his arms wide for a hug.

I walk up to him and I hug him tightly. We hug for what feels like an eternity, and I didn't realize I was crying. He was the one to realize and he pulls me out of the hug.

"Why are you crying?" He says softly as he wipes my cheek.

"I don't know, I guess I just needed a hug. It makes me feel comfortable."

He smiles and then hugs me again. "Then in that case, I'll hug you more."

"Thanks." I laugh and I hug him back. "But come on let's go, we've been standing here for a while now.

"Ohh right, I forgot about that." He pulls away and he opens the door for me.

I stop him. "Actually how about we walk?"

"Walk? You wanna walk?"

"Yeah, you know, just to get some fresh air. And I feel like walking."

"But it's cold out."

"I can manage."

"Okay, if you say so." He grabs his car keys and locks the car. "Come on then."

We start making our way to the convenience store. I shiver but as we walk due to the small winds. Luckily I grabbed a scarf on the way out so my face is slightly protected.

"Here," Jungkook says holding something out for me.

"What's that?" I look at his hand confused.

He opens his hand to reveal two got packs. "Here." He puts one in each of my hands.

"Thank you, do you have any for you?" I look at his hands.

"No, but I'm good."

"But your hands are gonna get cold! Here, give me your hand." I stick my hand out waiting for him to give me his. He reluctantly places his hand on top of mine. I put one of the hot packs into his hand and I close his hand. "There, you have one, I have one."

"No, just take both." He was about to give it back but I place both of my hands into my pockets.

"No thanks, I'm good. Plus you need one too." I walk away leaving a dumbfounded Jungkook standing there. He catches up to me after a bit. We stay silent the rest of the walk.

We finally make it to the convenience store and we walk in. As expected there was no one here except the employee.

I grab a basket and Jungkook and I start looking around. I first walk to the chip section. I'm still pretty full of the food from earlier so I won't get much. I grab a back of cheddar cheese & jalapeno Cheetos and some sour cream & onion lays, my favs. Jungkook was behind me and he got a few bags for himself.

"Do you want ramen?" He asks.

I shake my head. "I had some food not too long ago so I'm not gonna eat any ramen." He mods his head as we continue to browse around.

I walk to the fridge section and I look through the various kinds of beers. Jungkook was next to me looking through the various kinds of milk. He grabs a bunch of banana milk and places them in the basket.

"You gonna get some beer?" He stands beside me and looks too.

"Yeah, but which kind is good?"

"This one." He opens the door and he grabs a can of beer that I've never heard of before. "This one is good."

"Are you gonna drink too?"

"No silly, I have to drive back home." He smiles.

"Ahh right, I forgot about that."

He chuckled. "Come, let's go pay."

I follow him as we make our way to the cashier. I put the basket on the counter and the employee rings up our items.

"I'll pay for everything," I say as I take out my wallet.

"No, I'm paying." He already has his card in his hand.

"But-"

"Nope, in paying. Why don't you go find somewhere to sit?"

"Okay fine. Let's sit outside?"

"But it's cold."

"I like cold."

He seems uneasy at first but then he agrees. I walk outside and I find the perfect spot that gives us a view of the night sky above us. I take a seat and I wait for Jungkook to come out, I swing my legs back and forth since my feet don't touch the ground.

He comes out with the bag of food in hand. He sets it on the table and he takes a seat. He takes out the food and opens my beer for me.

"Thank you," I say before taking a sip. "Kkkk, hmm this is good! It has a slightly bitter taste at first but it's good."

"I know, I always get that whenever I want to drink." He eats sine do his chips.

I take a few more swigs before I also start eating.

"You know, it's kinda funny how you aren't like others when they grieve."

I look at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well most people would be crying for days, and they would lock themselves in their rooms. You know, that kind of grieving. But your... your not like that."

"Okay, before you say anything else, I'm not a serial killer. I didn't kill her or anything. I guess you could say I'm just trying not to cry, I'm trying to stay strong because I don't want Vee to see me crying for days. I know she wouldn't want to see me down. So I'm gonna be strong and keep going for her."

"Wait keep going?! You mean you were gonna kill yourself?!" He sits up straight and looks at me.

"No, you dumbass! Why the hell would I kill myself?! I meant, I didn't want to be crying for a year just laying in bed."

"Ohh, that's what you meant." He scratches the back of his head and he leans back into his chair.

"Yeah. I'm not gonna do that. I wanna pursue Vee's dream of becoming an amazing dancer, I wanna make her proud." I stare off into the distance as I start zoning out.

Jungkook just stays silent.

"You know, we had a promise to each other. We promised that she was gonna graduate from college and we'd move into a house and become neighbours. And we would get married at the same time and have kids at the same time. We were gonna travel the world together. And we were gonna perform everywhere together. But... But that never happened." A tear falls from my right eye followed by more tears.

"And now... I'm by myself without her. We had so much that we wanted to do together... I still remember the way she always did a happy dance when she would eat food, she always had such a pretty smile." I smile as I remember the way she smiled.

"She also loved to bake, she makes the best apple pie. It's sad how she won't get to try her food anymore. You know, maybe I should've spent more time with her. I was always just so busy, I never got to spend much time with her. She was always so disappointed when I told her I was busy. I'm such a bad friend!" I flailed my hands around as I cried, tears flowing out.

Jungkook moved to the seat beside me and he put my head onto his shoulder. "I thought that she was getting better, but she wasn't." I cried onto his shoulder

"Maybe she was doing that so you wouldn't have to worry about her when you went to Korea. And maybe she just held on so she could see you perform. He says as he rubs my shoulder.

"I'm thankful that she held on, which is why I will do the same. I'm gonna stay strong just for her!"

"That's the spirit."

We stayed silent for a bit as I cried. I let all my tears out. "Sorry for saying all that, I didn't mean to bring it all on you." I look at Jungkook as I sit back on my seat properly.

"It's fine, that's why I was here. To help you through these tough times."

"Thank you!"

"You don't need to thank me."

We talked for a bit longer before we decided to leave.

"Thanks for coming here."

"No problem, it was good to get out for a while too."

"You should get going now, it's really late."

"You go in first, I'll leave once your inside."

"Okay, bye! Good night!" I walk backwards as I waved to him. He smiled at me while he waved back. I ran inside and before I closed the door, I looked at him once again. He motioned for me to go inside, so I did after waving once more. I went to the elevator and I went back up to my floor.

As the doors open, I am met with a dark penthouse. I turned off all the lights when I left, and when I came back they were still off. I walked in and put my boots in the shoe rack. I took my last ass up the stairs and into my room without making a sound.

Caro was still fast asleep in her bed, curled up in her blanket like a caterpillar in its cocoon. I smile at her cuteness. I take off my jacket and put it on top of the sofa in the room. I waddle my way over to my bed and I collapse on top of it. I can't sleep due to the alcohol I just drank so instead I lay on my bed and stare at the roof.

Flashbacks upon flashbacks come to me as I lay here. I don't know how long I was laying there before I fell asleep.

*****

I woke up in the morning to a loud bang sound coming from beside me. I jolt up in my bed and I look around. At first,t I didn't see anything, everything looked fine and Caro wasn't in her bed, probably went out already.

I lay my head back down but then I suddenly hear a groan coming from in the room. I lift my head up slowly as I look around my room, is someone in here? I hear another groan and this time I sit up. I put my feet on the ground but then I step on something hairy.

I scream and I fly backwards. "What the fuck was that?!" I sit on my bed as I try to keep myself together. "What was that? Actually, who was that?"

I carefully crawl across my bed and peek my head over the edge. I only see a blanket at first but then I see hair. Hair? I lift the blanket quickly and retreat my hand. My breath is heavy. I jolt back just in case, but this person seems to not be moving. I look back down and I realize it's Caro by the pyjamas this person is wearing. They were Caro's dino PJ set.

I sigh in relief and I fall back on my bed. Idk why that was scary but it was. I sit back up and I just stare at her, why in the world is she on the floor?

"Caro..." No response. This time I try nudging her with my foot. "Caro..." Still no response. "Caro!" She moved a little but that's all. "Caroline!!" I scream a little louder and that's what woke her up.

She jolted up and looked around. "Huh? What happened?! Is something on fire again?!" She moves the hair that's covering her eyes.

"No nothing is on fire again. You just fell off your bed I think." I just look at her unfazed.

"I did? Huh, that's weird. I don't usually fall off my bed." She looks at her bed then to the floor with her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, well I don't know why either." I lay back down properly and get under my covers. "Well, I'm gonna get some more sleep."

"Okay, I'm gonna go cook breakfast now. Well, after I fix my bed."

I nod my head and I close my eyes. "Ohh and by the way, don't forget we're heading back home today."

"Ohh right, I forgot about that."

"Yeah, but let's deal with it later. I'll make breakfast, and ill make your fav!" She walked over to me and kiss my head before walking out.

She still seems sad about yesterday but I can tell she's trying to hide it. It makes the two of us then.

I laid in bed for a bit longer until I heard my door opening. I open my eyes slowly and I see Caro walk in with a tray in hand. "Here's your breakfast." She smiles at me as she carefully walks.

"Ohh thank you, but I could've just went down to eat," I say as I sit up.

"I know that, but I feel like it would be better for you to stay here for now. I'm not sure if you want to be around the others yet." She sets the food down in front of me.

"Honestly, I don't know. I guess I could use the company of everyone, but not now. Maybe later when I feel better."

"Maybe later, and I know it's hard for you and I'm glad you're staying strong. We're all here for you whenever you need us! And Vee will always be here." She points to my heart. "She will always live in our hearts and mind." She gives me a soft smile.

A tear rolls down my cheek as she says that. "Thank you!"

"Your welcome, and don't cry, it's too early in the morning to cry." She wipes to fallen tear.

I chuckle as I nod my head in agreement.

"Now eat before it gets too cold. I'm gonna go downstairs to eat, are you gonna be okay here?"

"Yeah, ill be fine."

"Okay, just text if you need anything." She says as she walks out of the room.

I nod my head and I watch her leave. I look at the fold she gave me, she made sure to get me a lot. I have a breakfast platter with an assortment of food. I start eating as I try not to get all emotional again.

~~~~~

Authors Note:

So that's all for this chapter. Did y'all like it?

I tried to make is kinda sad, but also sweet at the same time.

The next chapters will be exciting and magical, so stay tuned!

See y'all in the next chapter, bye for now!