"Spa Day" was a crashing success. I got to spend the day watching the boys first contort themselves into various interesting poses, complaining all the while, and falling over. Matty was actually the best at it, being relaxed and composed in general, while Gethin had the hardest time, much to his disgust.

The full body massage was the most fun for me, as they were completely unclothed, being covered strategically by towels. I stood just off camera, enjoying the view, while the masseurs worked their magic and the boys spoke to each other about football and how good they felt.

Then it was on to the mud baths, where I wasn't needed. I ate lunch with a book and went to my room and took another shower, being careful to keep my beautiful braid dry. The kimono had been removed, my room cleaned, and my bedding put away.

I suddenly remembered my sweater from the night before, and I ran out to the bridge, where I'd left it on the railing. Of course it was long gone. I went to the office and asked if anyone had turned it in, either another guest or a member of the gardening staff. Unfortunately, no one had. I began to panic. My grandma had knit that sweater for my mother, had saved money for the beautiful glass beads and painstakingly sewn them on after my mother had gone to bed to surprise her for her birthday. And I had stupidly, carelessly, left it hanging off a railing next to a fucking pond, for Christ's sake. It could have fallen in for all I knew, because I was all excited about making out with a guy in a band.

I took a quick walk around the grounds. The cool morning had given way to a sweltering afternoon. I was looking for any little speck of pink anywhere, hoping that maybe it had somehow just gotten moved or something. But it was nowhere. By the time I got back to my room, the boys were back, lounging around in Gethin's room in shorts and T-shirts with the ryokan's logo, so relaxed they seemed almost stoned.

"Tink!" Matty called. "How was your day?" He took a closer look at my face. "What's the matter? You're drenched! Have you been running around outside in this heat? Come here, sweetheart, have some water." He opened the mini-fridge and took out a couple of bottles of blessedly cold water.

I drank one nearly completely gone before sitting down, tilting my head back. Then I sat down and explained.

"Last night after dinner, I was sort of keyed up, so I went for a walk," I began, before realizing that I hadn't thought through what I was going to say. I was a really terrible liar, and how would I explain why I took a sweater with me on one of the hottest nights of the year?

"Alone?" asked Ronan, with a quick look at Teddy, who was busy not looking at me.

"Yes, I do sometimes want to be alone, believe it or not," I said with a smile that I hoped was convincing. "Anyway, I wasn't wearing much, because of the heat, so I took a sweater, just in case I ran into someone, you know, to cover up."

"You took a sweater?" Gethin asked in disbelief. "Last night? It was a sizzler, why not just wear a cooler shirt?"

Fuuuuck.

"Well, what I was wearing was the coolest thing I owned, and I just hoped I wouldn't run into anyone. Anyway, I was carrying the sweater, and when I got to the little bridge, I stopped to look at some shooting stars..."

"Sounds romantic," Matty said.

"It was," I said without thinking. "I mean, I guess it would have been if I hadn't been alone.

"So, I thought I saw some fireflies and I looked at them for awhile, and I left the sweater on the railing, and by the time I came back, the moon had gone down, and I didn't see it, or it had slipped and fallen into the water, or someone had come along and taken it or something, but anyway, it was gone..."

I explained to them about how my grandma had made it, about the beadwork, about how I'd looked for it and spoken to the front desk, and everything, and how I'd just spent the last hour looking for it.

"So, because I'm an idiot, it's probably gone forever." I flapped my hands in the air in a gesture of frustration. "Stupid me."

Matty smiled at me, his blue eyes limpid with sympathy. He motioned for me to come to him. I went to where he was sitting, and he pulled me in for a huge, full body hug. Wow. From Matty. It was such a superior hug that we fell over from our sitting position on the tatami and wound up prone.

Nice. I'd missed this. I'd missed him.

We were lying together, smiling into each other's eyes, when we heard Gethin. "Hey, you two, should we leave and give you some privacy?"

"Shut up, Geth," Matty called without letting me go. "I'm just enjoying some quality time with my good friend. D'you mind?"

"Not in the slightest, mate," Gethin said, stretching out on the floor himself, using a convenient zabuton as a pillow. "You might want to ask the same question of our English friend, though."

We lifted our heads and looked around, just in time to see Teddy slide the door to his room shut, not with a bang, exactly, but with emphasis. Matty waved his hand at him, but I sat up.

"Aw, Tink, let him go; he's just being a baby," Matty said in disgust and sitting up.

"Keeping you guys happy is part of my job," I said, standing up and walking toward his room.

"I was happy," he called as I left, ruffling Ronan's blond mop as I passed him.

I smiled at Matty from the doorway, blowing him a kiss.

Teddy was flopped down on his back on the floor in his room, again with a zabuton as a pillow, engrossed in his phone when I entered his room. He looked up when I entered, uttering a noncommittal, "Hey."

"Hey," I returned, sitting cross-legged next to him. We stayed that way in silence for a few minutes.

"Did you need something?" He didn't look up from his phone.

"No," I said, stretching my legs out past his head and leaning back on my elbows. "You kind of left in a hurry, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay, that's all. I mean, it was supposed to be this really great, relaxing day for you guys, and you didn't seem very relaxed, so..." I trailed off.

"I'm all right," he answered. "You can get back to snogging your 'good friend' Matty if you like."

I sighed. "We were not snogging, You know that. My god, you all treat me like I'm a pet puppy, I get passed from lap to lap, I get kissed on the nose, patted on the behind—"

He quickly sat up, dropping his phone in his lap. "I have never, ever, touched your bum, not once," he declared with confidence and emphasis.

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean."

He sighed. "Yeah, I guess." He looked around, then back at me. "It's just that I know how Matty feels about you, I see how he looks at you..."

"Matty has a proximity crush," I said. "He just—"

"Matthew's in love with you," Teddy said quietly. "I may not know much, but I do know that. Don't minimize his feelings. I've known him for seven years, and I've never seen him like this."

"Okay, okay." I looked around. "But that's not how I feel about him." I bit my lower lip.

He finally looked at me, really looked at me. "Look, I'm sorry for being such an asshole. I'm sorry for storming out of there. I saw you with him and, I dunno, it upset me." He shrugged. "When I spend an hour in the moonlight kissing a girl, no matter how innocent my motives, I tend to get jealous and possessive when I see her in another guy's arms, all right? I can't help it." He smiled at me.

I was confused. My mind was so clear. It was telling me, in no uncertain terms, that this man-boy was my friend for life, my darling brother forever and ever. But my body cried out to fall into his arms and stay there, to merge with him, to melt into him and become as close to one being as possible. I did not want to risk losing one for the possibility of becoming the other for a few days or weeks, did I? And how did I know if he even still wanted it?

To add to my confusion, he pulled me to him, lay down, and tucked my head into the nook of his shoulder with his arm around me.

"Have you thought any more about coming to England?" he asked.

I nodded. "I have. It's so sweet of you to offer." I put my arm around across his chest, hugging myself to him. "I don't see how it would work."

"It just would, just come, you'll see. Stop being such a Moaning Myrtle." He gave me a squeeze.

"Moaning Myrtle?" I asked with a smile.

"Yeah, you know, from Harry Potter?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I know Moaning Myrtle," I said with a light punch to his chest. I sighed.

He lifted his phone so we could look at it, and we spent the next hour together, me turned on my side into his body, my leg draped over his, reading the funny things his fans posted on his social media accounts.

We must've fallen asleep for a while, because the next thing I remembered was the sound of Ronan's camera taking our picture. We were completely wrapped around each other. Good grief.

"Look at you two," Ronan grinned from the doorway, "You look like Romeo and Juliet, with his long hair and your lovely plait. Totally wrong clothes, though.

"Oh, and it's time for dinner, guys," he added.