That first day back was technically a "free day", though the boys had a fun day planned. They had somehow organized an intercontinental BZG tournament with a bunch of their friends, and planned to spend the entire day in their rooms in their underwear or something, drinking, eating crap, and playing.

I, too had plans, which I had shared with no one. When my grandparents died, we hadn't had enough money for both of us to go to the funeral, so I had remained home while my mother had gone alone. I had never even visited their graves. I needed to go. When I'd first arrived in Tokyo, I'd been too jet lagged and too insecure in my new job to even ask, but I knew now that no one would care if I took the day and went.

They had been buried at the temple just down the street from where they'd lived, which was very unusual, considering how urban the area was. Most people were buried in suburban areas outside the cities, but my grandfather had longstanding ties to the local temple, and they had space for both of them there. I had spent so many pleasant summer evenings at the temple, and I was looking forward to seeing it again. The summer festivals, the evening fireworks, so many summertime activities revolved around the temple, it was like my backyard.

I hadn't let anyone there know I was coming; I didn't want anyone to fuss over me. I didn't know if I was up to seeing anyone, honestly. I just wanted to pay my respects to my grandparents, to say goodbye, and maybe to see their house.

I put on a pale blue linen sleeveless dress with eyelet lace trim, but I wasn't happy with my hair. It was just too hot to leave it down, but my usual bun just looked too severe. I wanted to look happy and young to see my obachan and ojiichan, not serious and depressed.

I went to find Gethin. They were busy moving the sofa closer to the TV and ordering up enough food to last for at least a week.

"Geth? Honey? Will you do my hair?" I put my hand on his back. He turned to me.

"Did I hear you call me 'honey'?" He stroked my crazy hair. "How can I say no to that? Come and sit down, little one, let's get this done." He sat me on the bed.

"So where are you going all prettied up on your day off?" he inquired as he brushed my hair.

"Oh, just some personal stuff I haven't had time for," I answered vaguely, "you know, people I haven't seen in a while, shopping I haven't had time for, junk like that."

"All finished," he proclaimed, dropping a kiss on the crown of my head. "You look lovely, poppet. Whoever you're going to see today's going to get a real treat, love."

These words pushed me over the edge, and I hugged him, murmuring thank you into his chest and winning my daily battle with my tears. I held onto him much longer than would be considered normal or possibly even decent, but there was no one to even see us except the boys, who were busy turning the room into BZG Central, so who cared? He didn't let go until I did, and I loved him for that; he just stood, rubbing my back and humming softly.

"I love you, Geth," I stood on tiptoe to drop a chaste kiss on his cheek. He kissed me back.

"Love you right back," he said, looking in my eyes as he let me go.

I went back into my room to put on my shoes. I was gathering my purse and sunglasses when I got a knock on my door. I opened it to find Betsey, looking upset and holding a stapled sheaf of papers. She was FOFOM about some paperwork, and it took a few minutes to get her sorted out and calmed down.

"Oh, thank you, love," she hugged me. "I know this was your day off, I'm sorry to bother you, and I'm so glad I didn't take up too much of your time. Oh, thank you thank you thank you!"

"My pleasure," I said, smiling and hugging her back.

I saw her out, used the restroom, regrouped, and left, my destination the Roppongi subway station. I found a flower shop on my way and bought some hydrangeas, which reminded me of my grandma. I stood in the shop for a moment, enjoying the smell of fresh cut greens and wet cement, which also reminded me of her. She had been a teacher of flower arranging, and had taught me the names of every flower we ever saw. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable by lingering, but the truth was I was kind of dreading going. I mentally berated myself for being such a chicken shit, and made myself turn around and exit the shop.

I stepped out and stopped in my tracks.

All four boys were standing near a light pole, though maybe skulking might be a better word. They looked sketchy and guilty and worried, like I might go over and slap them or something. I quickly approached them, terrified that at any moment they might be recognized and pandemonium would ensue.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked in a weird, quiet, but loud whisper, gathering them around me. The street crowd continued to flow around us.

"We followed you," Ronan said, as if this were explanation enough.

"I know you followed me," I said in exasperation. "But why? If you needed something, why didn't you just text me? Much easier for me to go back than for you to come all the way out here. How in the world are you going to get back? What if you get recognized? All hell could break loose!"

They looked at each other, and down at the ground, and finally, at me.

"Someone say something," I demanded.

They looked to Teddy as their designated representative, probably because he was the instigator of this unsanctioned field trip, I guessed. I looked at him and waited.

"I knew where you were going, and I told the boys, and we didn't want you to go alone," he said simply, with a shrug.

"You know where I'm going," I repeated. "You know where I'm going?" I looked from face to face. "You don't know where I'm going. I didn't tell anyone."

Again, everyone looked at Teddy.

"You're going to visit your grandparents' graves," he said.

I was so surprised I nearly dropped the flowers. My hand dipped, and they were sliding from my grasp, but Matty caught them before they hit the ground.

"How did you know that?" Shock had robbed my voice of all emotion.

"The way you talk about them. The way you talked about not being able to go to their funeral. I know you would never leave Japan without going to pay your respects, ever. And you had a free day today. And you're dressed up. And you were quiet and upset when you came to ask Geth to do your hair. And the way you responded when he said what he said. And do I need to go on?" He looked at me.

I was floored. I felt completely exposed. And I prided myself on keeping things under wraps. Teddy was a mindreader.

"But, you guys can't come with me. I'm taking a train. There will be a riot. You guys will be torn to shreds. We'll never get there alive. And besides, what happened to your intercontinental BZG marathon?"

Ronan waved his hand. "Ah, that's a video game. You're our family, Tink. This is important to you, so it's important to us. No one should have to make a bereavement call alone, ever." He stepped forward to hug me. "As far as the fans, it's the middle of the day, we'll be on mass transit, no one's expecting to see us. We'll be okay, won't we, lads?" They all nodded.

I stared at them. "You are all crazy. You will not be okay. You will be mobbed."

"All you have to do is tell anyone who approaches us is that we're on our way to a cemetery to pay respects to your grandparents, and we'd prefer not to be disturbed," Matty said calmly. "The Japanese are nothing if not polite. I'm sure they'll keep their distance."

Teddy put his arms around me. "We didn't want you to be alone," he said. "It's as simple as that. We're coming with you. If you like, we can go back to the hotel and call the car service. It might take a little bit, but then you'd have peace of mind about these teeming hordes you think are waiting to attack us. Would you like to do that?"

I thought about it. It might put us back a couple of hours with the traffic, and coming back would be even worse, because we would get rush hour traffic in the teeth.

I shook my head. "But you know if anything goes wrong and the police have to be called, Betsey will have our heads on a platter. And heaven help us all if one of you gets hurt and winds up in the hospital right before the big show. I can really go by myself. You sure you don't just want to go back?" I looked from one to the other of them.

"We'll just do our best to blend," said Gethin with a grin.

"Yeah, a six foot redhead will blend so well on a train full of Japanese people," I said, shaking my head. "Come on, my wonderful knights in shining armor, let's go."

We went down into Roppongi subway station, and I bought all five tickets and after we got to the platform, I noticed that they were dressed up, dressed up for them, anyway. Dark slacks, which I didn't even know any of them owned, dress shoes, ditto, and button up shirts without funky patterns or designs on them. They almost looked like young businessmen. Only their crazy hair, earrings, and demeanor gave away the fact that they were special in any way. That, plus the fact that they were all four of them drop dead and go to heaven gorgeous. We looked like a group of models on our way to a shoot. I suppose I looked like their manager, or maybe even their interpreter.

They were approached by a group of girls who asked if they could have a picture. I told them the whole "we're on our way to visit a cemetery" thing, and what do you know, the girls apologized and backed away. Wow. We got on the train, and the boys looked around, interestedly. I realized that this was probably their first time on a train. They were full of questions about the ads that lined the walls, what they were for, what they said, what the numerous announcements were saying, how similar it was to the tube in London, stuff like that. It was blessedly cool in the train, and they let me have the open seat, while they stood in front of me, talking and looking around. It brought so many memories rushing back, hearing and feeling the clacking rhythms of the train on the rails, sitting on the velour seats and looking at the people sitting all around us. A bunch of people got off at the next stop and seats opened up all around us, and all the boys sat down next to me, so of course Ronan took out his camera and took a shot of the five us, leaning in for a pic.

There was a group of three girls sitting across from us who had obviously recognized the boys and were beside themselves with joy, but were much too young and frightened to approach them. They just sat and smiled shyly as they whispered to each other. Teddy noticed them and did a kind thing. He walked along the car, where there were ads of the boys' show at the Dome hanging every few feet. He ripped three of them off, brought them back, and had every boy sign each one. Then he gave each girl one of the ads, and he had all the boys sit across from me, between each girl, and had me take a picture of the seven of them, all making peace signs and smiling. They were overwhelmed, covering their mouths and bowing, and thanking the guys over and over.

The girls had to get off at the next stop, and they stood on the platform as the train pulled away, waving for all they were worth.

"That's why everyone loves you guys so much," I said, leaning on Matty's shoulder.

We got off at Shinjuku Station to change to the Odakyu Line, which would take us directly to Kyodo, where my grandparents had lived. The boys wandered over to a kiosk to buy gum and candy. They returned with their pockets filled with all kinds of crap, asking me what flavor this or that was, unwrapping each kind and winding up with five or six different kinds of open sweets. I went and asked for some bags for them and passed them out, laughing at their antics.

"You know, this is, like the fourth time I've been to Japan, but I've never done this before," Ronan said happily, cheeks bulging with some strange apple flavored candy. "Thanks, Tink." And he gave me an apple flavored kiss on the cheek, leaving a sticky mark, which he tried to rub off, unsuccessfully.

By the time we got to Shimokitazawa, four stops from our destination, the memories began to hit me. This station was basically down the street from where my grandparents lived. Seeing the platform reminded me of being there with my grandma on my way home from swimming lessons, being so hungry, needing to go to the bathroom, and having to wait for both until we got home, listening for the sound of the oncoming train, and hoping that it would be the one we needed. Even the smell coming from the nearby ramen shop was still the same. It was overwhelming.

Teddy saw the look on my face and put a comforting arm around me.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you, I am," I responded. "It's just a lot of memories to face all at once. It's been seven years, but I'd come every year since I was a baby, so there are a lot of memories, and we're getting closer to all of them. We spent a lot of time standing right out there, with me holding their hands, waiting for hundreds of trains. They were the only family I ever had. It's really hard, much harder than I thought it would be."

He kissed my temple and rubbed my shoulder.

Some more girls approached Matty, and he stood up and walked a little way away with them and posed for some pics, but it didn't seem to be getting out of control, so I left them alone. When they were finished, though, I did go to the girls and explain about our errand, and ask them to please not spread the word about where we were to others, so we could have some privacy. They nodded and apologized and offered condolences. There was mutual bowing, and they left the other boys alone.

"It's you, you know," Matty remarked.

"What's me?" I asked.

"When you talk to them, you're the reason they leave us alone. The way you talk to them, your tone, your attitude, the class you project, it commands respect. If it were someone else, someone who didn't know how to say it the way you do, they'd be all over us like fleas on dogs. You bring out the best in people, Tinker Bell." He smiled at me, perfect features in his perfect face stopping time for a brief moment on the train.

"I think you're talking about yourself, Matthew," I smiled back, just as the train started to move.

We got off the train at Kyodo. We took the south exit and came out onto Nodaidori, the main shopping thoroughfare, which led straight through town to the local agricultural college. I had walked down this street too many times to count as a child, and had known every shop and every shop owner by sight and name. The boys kept almost running into things because they were so busy looking around at everything. This was probably one of their first times to be on a regular Japanese urban street like this, and, amazingly, the people on the street were way too busy with their everyday lives to look up and notice the presence in their midst of foreign giants, and world famous giants at that. There were a few school girls whose eyes widened as we passed them, but none were quick thinking enough to turn around and chase us, and we actually made our way down the street unmolested, something which I wouldn't have thought possible.

We passed the greengrocer's on the left, and the bookstore, one of my old favorite haunts, on the right, and the baker whose cream puffs I loved. We came to the little street where we turned right to get to the temple. The pachinko parlor had become a convenience store with a funny name, and of course Ronan wanted to take a picture in front of it. Gethin shook his head with a little frown, and it took me a minute to figure out why.

"Oh, no, guys, it's perfectly okay, I don't want this to suck for you. You gave up your only fun day for weeks to go visit a cemetery with me, for crying out loud. Please. Take a picture. Do a cartwheel. Smoke some grass, if you have any, okay?" I smiled at them. "Here, give me the camera." I held out my hand.

Ronan handed over his phone, and I took a couple of pictures, and handed it back.

The entrance to the temple was right there, practically across the street from the convenience store, right next to the place that sold rice. We walked under the gate, and I explained to the boys that this temple was like my second home, I knew the family who lived there, and that, if they were ever to visit another temple, there were lots of rules and etiquette to follow that we would not be adhering to today. Today would be more of a stealth mission, just a quick in and out. They nodded and followed me. The temple was quiet today, the main doors closed, so hopefully the family wasn't home. I walked quickly across the dirt courtyard and playground for the temple run nursery school to the plain gate in the wall that separated the temple from the cemetery. Just inside the gate, there was a basin with a bamboo ladle for us to wash our hands. I set my flowers down, being careful that the used water fell to the ground and not back in the basin, and each of the boys followed suit.

We made our way down the narrow pathways, crowded with the long tombstones, and more memories came rushing back. I remembered using the cemetery as a shortcut when I was little, a habit that was frowned upon, but sometimes necessary when I stayed too long at a friend's house and was in danger of being late getting home. I would run down the paths, telling myself it wasn't scary, I wasn't scared, just because it was getting dark was no reason to suppose the nopperabo, the terrifying monsters with no faces, were going to come wandering out, moaning, and reach for me.

I followed my mother's directions and found their tombstones, near the back wall, plain granite, unadorned in any way, with just their names and the dates of their births and deaths. I stopped, and the boys stopped behind me. I laid the hydrangeas in front of the tombstones, and again was struck by how much they reminded me of my obachan. She loved flowers so much. She had grown up with no flowers, no such beauty in her life, and she had made it a priority to make sure I had it in mine.

I dropped to my knees in front of the tombstones, my knees making a painful sound on the stone path, and let the tears come. There was no river of sobbing, just a few, silent teardrops, sliding down my cheeks, for the grandparents who would never know that life was actually going to be good for their LinLin-chan.

I felt strong, gentle hands helping me up, and I turned into someone's arms, I don't even know whose they were. They gathered around me. I guess it could be called a UK Crush, though there was no jubilation, just love, warmth, and support.

I pulled back. "My nose is going to run all over someone's very nice shirt," I commented with a smile. Ever the gentleman, Matty pulled out a tissue. I smiled my thanks, used it, and put it in my purse.

"Come on, boys, let's go. I'm finished here. I just want to take a couple minutes and see their house, then I'm finished, okay?"

"Course, whatever you want," Geth assured me. They followed me out.