We arrived at Keith's house, which was very beautiful and old. Apparently, he made quite a living as a producer or writer or something, in between touring with his band. It had turned into a blazing hot day, so the idea of a swim sounded really good, and there were only a few cars parked in front of his house, lending credence to the idea that this was indeed a small get together. We went through the house, which looked as though a regular house and a studio had collided and stayed mixed together, and into a huge backyard, which contained what had to be the largest private swimming pool I'd ever seen.

There were five or six guys swimming, with two or three more hanging out on lounge chairs with beers. They turned at our entrance. "Hey, Theo!" they called. "Long time no see, buddy! How was Japan, dude?" One guy with long black hair stepped forward to hug him and said, "Grab yourself a cold one, man, and pull up a chair." He turned to me for a one armed hug. "Who's your lady friend, Theo?"

Teddy turned to me. "Keith, this is Tinker Bell. Tink, meet my good friend, Keith."

"Hello, Keith, nice to meet you," I said with a smile.

"Before we do anything, Keith, we'd really like to take a dip and cool off, if that's okay," Teddy said with a smile.

"Of course, of course, changing rooms are right over there, towels are right inside the door," he answered with a smile. Keith was just a bit shorter than Teddy, and a very good looking guy himself.

As we were heading toward the changing rooms, I said to Teddy, "You said there wouldn't be a lot of girls, you didn't say there wouldn't be any girls. I feel kind of out of place."

"Yeah, you do sort of stick out a bit," he said with a chuckle. "What do you want me to do, call some to come over?"

I just gave him a look.

As we were changing I realized I'd left my other suit back at the hotel, so if this one didn't fit or just didn't work, I was out of luck. Fuck. I tied the back and turned to look at myself. Wow. It wasn't that it covered less of me than my other suit or anything, but it sent a different message. And it showed a lot more cleavage. I'd always considered cleavage to be my enemy, and avoided it at all costs. I hated it. People stared at it. People treated you differently because of it. And it was stupid. It didn't change the size of anything, but because of that one little line, so many things were different. My workout bikinis made me look sleek, efficient, professional. This yellow suit with the little magenta flowers made me look curvy and soft. I looked like a pin up girl from the 1950s or something.

"Birdie? You ready?"

I didn't know. Was I? This was stupid. This was a fucking bathing suit, and Teddy was right. It was cute, and I looked cute in it. How could I ever play Rachmaninoff or Beethoven when I was afraid to walk out of a changing room in a two piece bathing suit?

"Yes. I'm ready." I turned the knob and stepped out. I met his gaze and returned it, biting my lips and not blinking.

"I knew—" he swallowed. "I knew that shade of yellow would look good on you. It makes your skin look like it's glowing. And your abs, you know, well, they're, you're, um, ripped. And your, um, well, your, that top, it's, well, you have a really gorgeous figure, I mean, I always knew you did, and now it shows, I mean you can tell, that well, you know, oh holy fuck, what am I saying, Jesus god—" He shook his head in that wet dog way he had and motioned for me to come to him.

He enfolded me in his arms, one all the way around my waist, one beginning around my waist but going up my back so his hand could end up at my neck. "You just take my breath away, you do, you really do. And I don't need some stupid bathing suit to know that about you, I want you to know that, okay?" He kissed my scar, making my whole body quake in a way he could surely feel, raising goose bumps all over me in a way he couldn't fail to notice because his flesh was touching mine nearly everywhere.

I exhaled, blowing my cheeks up while looking down, as he released me, and he tipped my chin up.

"Hey, what's that about then, hmm?" he asked softly.

I shook my head. "Nothing," I whispered. I leaned forward and kissed him. He returned my kiss carefully, questioningly. I kissed him again, really leaning into him this time, opening my mouth.

"Kiss me, Teddy," I murmured, stepping even closer, so we were really close, wrapping my arms around his neck, touching his tongue wetly with mine.

He moaned softly and grabbed a fistful of my hair so he could turn my head to a better angle, and put a hand between us, on my breast. He moaned again, louder, when my nipple begin to pucker and harden against his thumb.

"Oh fuck," he said softly, releasing me.

He was ready for me, and god knows, I was ready for him. I reached up to untie the string on my bathing suit, but he put his hand on mine and stopped me. "Birdie, no, what are you doing?" he whispered.

"I want to," I whispered back, "I don't care anymore."

"Yes you do," he whispered into my neck. "You don't want it like this, in a pool house in someone's back yard. Not like this."

"Just put your hands on me," I said, looking in his eyes. I grabbed his hands by the wrists and lifted them up to put them on my body, but he resisted me.

"No, I know you, and I know this isn't you. You're tired of waiting, but all the reasons you're waiting, they're still there, and you'll regret this later, I know you will." He kissed me again, and I kissed him back, as hard as I could, trying to convince him. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I accepted it, touching it with mine, making him moan as he exhaled through his nose.

I let go of his hands, and he opened and closed them, out of frustration, and put them on my waist. I put my hands on his waist, then lower, on him, around him, around the hardness of him, and heard him moan in frustration and pleasure. But he didn't move away. He leaned back against the wall in total helplessness, head back, eyes closed. Just a couple of quick movements, that's all it would take, I knew.

He opened his eyes and looked at me, his pupils so dilated that his eyes almost looked black. "God, I love you, Birdie, and I want you, so much, you don't even know," he said, reaching up to touch the little hummingbird at my throat.

Then he totally surprised me by grabbing my hands and pulling them away from him so forcefully that I was nearly thrown off balance; only the strength with which he held my wrists kept me from falling over.

"Teddy, what in the hell are you doing? You almost knocked me down!" I rubbed my wrists where he had grabbed me.

Meanwhile, he was walking around in little circles, moaning and muttering something to himself, which when I got close enough to hear him turned out to be, "Dead pets, dead pets, dead pets."

"What the fuck? Teddy, what are you saying?" I demanded. Within twenty seconds I had gone from what was the sexiest moment of my life to nearly being pushed over and hearing someone whispering about deceased animals.

He finally turned around to talk to me. "Do you mind? I was about two seconds away from having the most mind blowing orgasm, like, ever, and I had to prevent it so that my best friend wouldn't make the biggest mistake of her life and ruin our friendship forever, so I'm doing whatever I need to do to make my boner go away, so could you please not be critical at this juncture and just cut me some motherfucking slack?" His voice had risen to roughly the pitch of a sirocco by the last word.

Shock rendered me speechless.

Into this silence came Keith's voice. "Uh, dude? Everything okay in there?"

"Yeah, we're okay, mate, be out in a tick," he called out in a sunny voice. He faced me, straight on. "Well?"

I looked at him blankly.

"Can you see my boner?" he asked me. "Can you tell?" I stared, feeling foolish.

"No, you can't tell," I said, unable to resist the urge to laugh. I turned around, shoulders shaking.

"Dear Jesus, are you crying?" He turned me around, eyes searching my face.

I shook my head, unable to speak.

"You little—you're laughing? You're laughing! Fuck me!" He started laughing himself, and that's how we exited the changing room, hanging on each other.

"Everyone, you all know Theo, and this is his friend, Tinker Bell," Keith introduced me to the group. I waved and took a seat near a table.

"Could you put some sun screen on my back, please, so I can get in right away?" I asked.

"Of course," he said, grabbing the bottle out of our bag. He started on my arm.

"No, I can do my arms and legs," I said, laughing, "I just meant my back."

"Don't be ridiculous, I don't mind to do all of you," he said with a smile. "You know that."

Fighting over the bottle with him would have looked really weird, so I just let him, but I felt a bit like we were putting on some kind of strange show for the other guys, especially since there were no other women there. I did get my hands on the bottle to do my own stomach, though he shot me a glare when I did. I was reminded of the little charade we'd put on for Nancy the second day we'd met, when the boys had had their hangovers, and it gave me the giggles, which I tried unsuccessfully to hide.

"Nancy?" he asked. I nodded, and he laughed in agreement. "That was so fucking funny," he said. "Remember when Ronan sucked on your fingers? And then Matty said something—what did he say?"

"He said, 'the thing'—that's exactly what he said. It was just how he said it, it was hysterical," I said. "And then Ronan hit my back, only he hit me so hard it knocked me off the sofa and I ended up on the floor." By now, I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe.

"I'm done, do me now, please?" he said, laughing and shaking his head.

He sat down and I squeezed some lotion out on my hand, going to work on his back first. Yummy back. I loved his shoulders, the play of the muscles under the skin when he moved even a little. "Can you stand up, please?" I asked him.

"Of course," he said, and stood obligingly, raising his arms so I could work on the front. He did his own arms while I did his face, making sure there were no streaks. By now we were both sweating buckets, so we dove in to the delicious, glorious water. I hadn't been in the water since that horrible race against Randy, and I hadn't been in an outdoor pool since before I went to Japan.

"Oh my god," I said, porpoising up out of the water, "this feels fantastic!

"Keith!" I called. "How long is this pool?"

"Uh, seventy-five feet, I think?" he answered. "The guy who owned this house before was an Olympic swimmer or something, wanted to train, had it put it custom," he explained.

"I'm going to do a few laps, okay?" I said to Teddy, who had popped up next to me.

"Sure," he said. "I'll go get us something to drink." He boosted himself onto the pool deck and padded over to the ice chest.

I swam over to the deep end, got out, hooked my toes over the bull nose brick, and dove in. It felt great to swim, really swim, to stretch out, work my flip turns and streamlines, to reach and kick. I did a few laps to get a stroke count, then really tried to regulate my breathing and stretch it out. The pool was over chlorinated and I could feel my eyes starting to burn. I wished I'd brought my goggles, but it hadn't occurred to me I'd have a chance to really swim. For most people, "swimming" meant splashing around while drinking and wearing sunglasses.

I got winded far too soon. I didn't even think twenty minutes had gone by. I stopped at the wall, breathing heavily, and heaved myself out, resisting the urge to swim over to the side and use the ladder. I sat on the side, waiting to get my wind back, when a shadow fell over me. Teddy sat down next to me and handed me a wine cooler, legs dangling in the water next to mine.