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Chapter Fifty-Five

"Birdie? Birdie!" I could hear the urgency in his voice. I opened my eyes and was startled to see his face only inches from my own.

"Thank god!" he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine in relief.

"What happened?" I asked. I tried to move, and that's when I realized he was still on top of me, still inside of me, actually.

"I dunno," he said, a small edge of fear in his voice. "I was right at the end, you know, so I wasn't really paying attention to anything, when you grabbed me and kind of shuddered, sort of like on the plane that time, then you fell back, and you were out cold. I've been trying to wake you up ever since."

"How long has it been?" I asked, getting a little scared myself. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

"Not sure. At least three or four minutes." He looked at me, as if debating whether or not to tell me something. "There's something else." I looked at him.

"What? There's more?" I was really starting to get scared.

"Yeah. I'm sort of, um stuck." He looked away, then back at me.

"What do you mean, 'stuck'?" I asked, aghast.

He gave a small tug, but did not slide out of me as I expected; he merely pulled me along a bit with him.

"Has this ever happened to you before?" I asked, trying to keep the hysteria out of my voice.

"No. Never." He braced himself on his elbows, trying to keep his weight off of me.

I looked around. It was almost completely dark now, I could barely see his face.

"This is a little awkward," I said.

"Yeah, we're in a bit of a pickle," he said, sounding very British, and I couldn't help but laugh. He joined me, and we hugged each other.

"I'm sure there are worse places we could be," I said, continuing to laugh.

"Look, what if we tried moving around a bit?" he suggested. "Like what if you got on top? Maybe gravity would work in our favor?"

"Couldn't hurt," I said. "Ready? Go." And we rolled over, holding on to each other.

"Super," He said, holding my head and kissing me. "At least I can reach the lamp from here." He reached over and switched it on. "Better, now I can see you." And he kissed me again. "You look really good like this, Birdie," he said with a smile. "Lots of lovely cleavage." I looked down at myself. He was right. Great.

"You know," I said, "I think I know what happened to me. I've read about it somewhere. Sometimes, when people don't come for a long time, and I think we can both agree twenty-three years is a long time, it's so intense when it finally happens that the person loses consciousness for a short time."

"Hold on," he said, laughing his particularly tickled laugh. "Are you saying you came so hard that you fucking fainted?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," I said, smiling. "That make you happy?"

"Hell yes!" he said exuberantly. "Who can say he's so good in bed that he made someone fucking pass out?"

"Oh my god," I said, shaking my head. "I think it's more to do with me than you, but whatever, take the credit if you like."

"Wait! I feel something!" He wiggled a little bit, and he was right, he was sliding out of me, a little at a time. Within a minute, he was free. It was a strange feeling. I'd gotten used to him inside me, I felt a little empty.

"I think we just had to wait for you to go down a bit," I said. "You know, because it was such a tight fit? That's all it was. It probably won't be so bad next time. I mean, if there is a next time. If you want there to be a next time, that is." Christ, why couldn't I just shut up?

"Oh, Birdie." He sat up and looked down at me reproachfully. "You're not going to start that already? Before we're even dry from being together?" He pulled me up into his arms, into a tight embrace. "I suppose I can't blame you," he said in a low, emotional, voice. "It's my fault, for living the life I did before I met you. But I'm telling you right now, right here, that I don't intend to be finished with you in an hour, a week, a month, how far did you go? A year? Ever. Ever. I don't plan to ever let you go. You are mine forever. I know we're only twenty-three, and that, relatively speaking, we are infants. I know people in my business don't have a good track record for monogamy. I know odds are against us. Well, against me. But I don't care. I'm telling you I will be with you forever. Forever. Forever.

"Where you are concerned, I am a caveman," he said fiercely. "I love you. I am in love with you. For as long as you want me, I am yours without question." He loosened his hold on me enough to look into my miraculously dry eyes. "Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"I don't want you to ever question how I feel about you again. If I give you reason to, I want you to tell me straight away so I can fix it. Okay?"

I nodded again. "Okay."

He continued, in the same, low, voice, "I can't say the same about you, because I'm a jealous, insecure person, and I'm always going to worry how someone like you can possibly love and want someone like me, but I'll try to give you space, okay?"

I stared at him. "Are you crazy? Who's the multi-millionaire rock star who's dated the super models, and who's the mousey music student who's never had a boyfriend in her life?"

He looked back at me. "Well, that may be true, but we both know what's what, and we know who's the real thing, here, and who's the poser, don't we?"

I kissed him, eyelid, eyelid, nose and mouth, lingering on his mouth. "Don't talk about yourself like that. You're wonderful, I wouldn't fall in love with just anyone, you know. I waited twenty-three years to fall in love with you, particularly."

He kissed me back. "Yes you did, bless you. It amazes me that you could've had any of us four, and you picked me. Why? Why not Geth? Or Ronan? Why not Matty, for Christ's sake? He's better looking, nicer, way smarter—"

I covered his mouth with my hand. "I didn't pick any of them because none of them was you," I said simply.

He removed my hand. "And I've been wondering, why did you wait so long to have sex? I mean, I know why you waited to have sex with me, but why in general?"

I took a deep breath. "The reason I waited so long to have sex with anyone is that I never met anyone I wanted to have sex with until now."

"Well, I guess today was my lucky day," he said.

"I'm glad you think so. I know it was mine," I said, smiling and reaching for him.

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