ayo i gotta put a quick trigger warning on this bad boy it deals with deppresive thoughts, self degradagtion, and other shit like that please don't read if that triggers you. also it do be unedited so my bad.
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It had been a hard few weeks, Keigo was off working on a mission and hadn't been able to visit or really text you either, feeling the lonleyness set in despite seeing some of your friends at work you stayed in bed for most of your free time missing the warmth of his body pressed against yours the softness of his feathers as his wings wrapped around you shielding you from the outside world. you had so much sthit going through your head and almost all of it was negitive from how bad of a person you were and unaliving to if you were good enough for Keigo and how much better off he would be without you. Hell you even thought of all the bad things you've ever done and the embarassing moments. It was getting hard to sleep you rolled over to check the time seeing it was 3 in the morning you contemplated getting up you had work at 6 anyway so you might as well get a head start, you looked at you phone once again realizing you had a message from Hawks, you smiled just from reading the name you quickly opened it. "hey, baby bird i really miss you i should be back soon." you smiled to yourself at the thought of seeing you boyfriend again. "i miss you too." you sent back and got out off bed and walked into the kitchen just wearing the sweatpants you slept in. You started making coffee and breakfast. Your mind driffting to what you were gonna say when you saw Keigo again. You checked your phone again 3:30 you sighed taking your food and cup of coffee to the living room sitting on your couch throwing on a random show for background noise you really didn't want to go to work you had hardly been sleeping since you didn't have Keigo next to you. you chewed on your lip nervously was it worth it to call out sick, you hadn't really missed a day, you sighed loudly decicding to call and take a break from work. after that you finished eating then went to your bedroom and grabbed an oversized sweater looking for some sort of warmth and comfort, of course you looked forward to seeing your boyfriend but he wasn't here right now and it all set in all the feeling you had been pushing away. you knew this was coming from the first day Keigo told you he was leaving, all the bottled up feeling spilling as you wrapped yourself in more blankets than you could count. Your hands shaking and your eyes overflowing. "godamn, am i really this fucking weak." you whispered to yourself trying to stop the tears. "how pathetic really, how'd i get this fucking weak." you scoffed into the empty room once again wiping the two or three tears that fell taking in shaky breathes as you held yourself tighter "i'm so fucking weak, i'm just so fucking pathetic, how did you get this fucking weak, just look at yourself." you choked out degrading youself over and over again for hours feeling miserable, the tears stoping and starting back up just wanted it all to stop you looked for some form of distraction but there really wasn't one, giving up you just wrapped your back in the blankets your curtains closed to keep out any light. You were about to start crying yourself back to sleep when you heard a knock at you door you groaned throwing all the blankets to the side and walking to the door stretching and yawning. The knocking got louder and faster. "I'm coming, calm down." you said practically throwing the door open "what do you wan- Kei wha-" you got off by Keigo engulfing you in a hug, as soon as you registered what happened you hugged back relishing in his warmth, breahing in his familiar scent

"I missed you so much baby bird." He started kissing all over your face. "I missed you so so much, my love bird." he continued kissing all over your face. He pulled back looking at you face "what wrong, were you crying? Did someone hurt you? Are you okay, what happened?" Keigo countuied rambling, checking over your body for any sort of injury.

"I'm fine, i just missed you." you decided not to go into detail you didn't want to worry him. Keigo pulled you into a tighter hug closer to him wrapping his wings around you

"aww, baby boy. i'm here now so why don't you tell me what was really bothering you." Keigo lifeted his boyfriend up carrying him to the couch sitting himself down with you in his lap running his fingers through your hair (if you have thicker hair or no hair he just pets the top of your head.)

"Kei, I just really did miss you, don't worry about it." You replied laying your head on his chest.

"I know you're not being honest, but i won't push you just know i'm here and I'll listen no matter how stupid you think it is, just tell me how to help you." Keigo stated playing with strands of your hair wrapping it around his finger and watching it fall over and over again. you just stayed silent just resting your body against his enjoying his fingers in your hair, his arm supporting your waist along with his wings still wrapped around you. You took a deep breath inhaling his scent calming you, you decided to open up a bit and say what was on your mind.

"Kei." you moved you face out of his chest so you could see his face. "I-I I've just been feeling so useless, and weak." You sucked in a breath trying not to start crying thinking of all the negitive things in his life "I feel so bad, nothing even happened I'm just... i don't deserve this... with you, I'm just so fucking weak, honestly it's pathetic." you silently cried hiding you face back in his chest. Keigo couls feel his heart breaking as you put yourself down.

"Y/n, I know it's hard baby, but trust me your not as weak you think you are. Baby boy you are strong, so so strong. Not just anybody could deal with what you deal with." Keigo smiled down at you using his hand to making you look at him. "Tell me how to help, what can i do to make you feel better." He countiued stroking his thumb against your jaw. You tried thinking of anything but you just couldn't think of anything besides self doubts.

"I don't deserve you." you said honestly looking into his eyes.

"Cap, but honestly you deserve the world baby, and I'm going to give it to you. But for now I'm going to do whagt i do best, take care of you, maybe spoil you abit." hawks stood up with you still wrapped around him. Keigo sets you back down on the couch. "give me one minute okay hummingbird." He dissapeared into the bedroom for awhile. you stayed put playing with the hem of your sleeves. Once hawks came back out you noticed he changed out of his work uniform and into a pair of sweatpants not bothering to find a shirt. Hawks walked back over to you and easily lifted you off of the couch you wrapped you arms around his neck and legs around his waist.

"I can walk y'know." you muttered burying your face in his neck.

"I know baby bird, I just want to take care of you." Keigo chuckled carrying you into the bedroom gently placing him on the bed where the previous mess of blankets and pillows was turned into a little nest once he placed you into it Keigo crawled in next to you. "now relax and let me take care of you." Keigo whispered into your ear, laying down pulling you into his chest wrapping one arm around you while his other hand played with your hair, he used his wings as extra blankets. As you cuddled into Hawks' embrace the feeling of his hand rubbing your side and the other playing with stray strands of your your hair you didn't fully forget all the self doubts but you were more intrested in him. You snuggled into him more as he softly hummed into the top of your head.

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Hey this was a little bit of comfort to balance the smut. Sorry it's kinda short, feel free to request or leave feedback. I really don't like this one, lowkey lost motivation reagardless hope you enjoyed. ~ Kris