|27|

•Charlotte•

Silence in a pit of darkness that clawed open was the definition of a nightmare. It ripped you apart, layer by layer until there was nothing left except a faint beating heart that begged you to end it all. 

He was gone. 

I couldn't move as I stared at the body. He was dead. 

A scream filled the house as I heard someone sobbing. I didn't care. I couldn't feel anything as I stared at the blood dripping down the walls, tainting the house with blood.

There was a deafening silence in my mind, that echoed against the emptiness I felt. I watched my strength, my hope, drip down onto the floor merging with his blood.  

I couldn't breathe. I was drowning. There was this rage inside of me, beating in my heart in my mind, to be let out, to wipe the earth of every being. To get rid of everyone because the one I needed was gone. 

I was dying. Dying with the pain of being alone in a world that didn't want me. I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating. My throat was closing up, my mind exploding with pain. 

I let out a scream which bounced off the walls, burning straight back into me. The rage clawed at my heart, wanting to find him, to rip him apart. 

I heard faint footsteps behind me, cursing before I felt her arms. Lizzie wrapped them around me, suffocating me in her heat, in her arms as she held me tightly. 

"It's okay."

Nothing was okay. 

I was alone. 

I couldn't feel anything. The pain, it disappeared with every heartbeat that I heard in my mind. I stared at his body. He was uncomfortable. 

Pushing Lizzie's arms away from me, I quickly got up and ran towards him. "It's okay. You're safe." I whispered under my breath as I tried to lift his legs up. I pushed his hair out of his face, the blood coating my hands but I ignored it. I ignored it all as I laid him down on the bed. 

He needed to be comfortable. 

"Who did it?" 

It was a question only I knew the answer too. I was tired of all the lies, of everything in life. I was so fucking tired. Wiping the tears away, I felt the warm blood on my face.  No no no. 

I rubbed my hands on my white shirt that I was wearing. I was covered in his blood, tainted in the darkness that consumed every part of me. I wiped them on my jeans, scrubbing them harshly to get rid of the blood. 

"Kid." I heard Joe's voice before I felt him grab both of my hands. "Tell me who did this." He asked.

I couldn't concentrate on his voice as it filled my mind with the cries of my heart. It was pushed back, right down the pit of darkness that opened up. 

I was going to kill him. I was going to kill Logan. Every inch of my mind switched off the pain and all I could feel was the rage that screamed inside of me, repeatedly clawing at my skin to be let out, to rip him apart. 

I wanted to watch him beg for his life,  to cry tears of blood as I skinned him alive. All I could feel was rage as Joe shook me, his words echoing in my mind. Snap out of it Charlotte. 

I glanced at dad. He had his eyes open, full of fear. His life was a fingertip away from happiness. I was supposed to come back, to tell him he had got his spot at the private hospital and we were going to start on his treatment, to make him better. I wanted to see his smile, to hear his laughter, to celebrate Christmas and Halloween together. I wanted it all. 

It was snatched away from me. By him. By the man that was hellbent on destroying my life. He did it. He won. 

Logan finally won. 

He broke me. No matter how much I tried to hear their words, listen to their tears and look at the worry on their faces, I couldn't. All I could hear was my heart being shattered into a thousand pieces, over and over again. 

"Listen to me." Joe's voice was loud as he grabbed my face and made me look at him. "Snap out of this, kid." He was saying something but I couldn't hear it. His words disappeared in my mind as I pulled away from him. 

There was blood coating the white pillow that my dad was resting on. He would never wake up. I would never have to give him his pills anymore. He would never call out to me again. He would never tell me he loved me.

The rage inside of me made me shudder, demanding I snap out of it. To find him, to kill him with my bare hands. I couldn't see past it. All I could see was Logan on the floor, begging for his life. 

"We need to call the police." Lizzie said softly. 

"No." 

They wouldn't do anything. I didn't want Logan behind bars, with a chance of freedom dangling in front of him. I wanted him crying for mercy, begging for forgiveness which I would never grant him. He ruined my life. I wanted to end his life. 

The blood on my hands seemed cold, as if it would turn every inch of my body into ice and with one fall, I would break. I turned to look up at Joe. "We need to bury him." My voice was hoarse. "I want to give him the best." I told him. 

There was no going back. I could only go forward, which would lead to Logan's death. I pushed my legs to move, to not collapse onto the ground. I walked towards the couch slowly and  pulled the leather cushions away, dropping them onto the floor which was coated in blood. I picked up the bag of money that I had stashed here.

It was supposed to go to the hospital but now it was just money covered in blood. I stretched my hand out to Mark who stood besides the door silently. "I need the best." I whispered to him, to them, to the world. 

I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe as he took the money out of my hands and told me it would be okay. 

Nothing would ever be okay until I saw him dead. 

He had ripped apart the only family I had. Broken me into so many pieces that could never be fixed. 

"We will fix this, kid." Joe said to me and I watched him walk out of the room with Mark, leaving me alone with Lizzie who was shaking a little as she stared at the blood on the ground, lost in her thoughts. 

"He is gone." She whispered to herself, her eyes glancing at my dad on the bed who lay there, as if he was resting. 

I looked away and down at the dried blood that was on my hands. I rubbed them on my jeans, trying to get rid of the blood. "I need to get rid of this." I whispered to myself as I walked out of the room, rubbing my hands on my shirt. 

They were burning but I pushed it away and headed towards the kitchen. 

"Amore." 

I felt the chills run through my body as I heard him whisper to me. There was so much that had happened, so much to talk about but that single word wanted me to cry. To scream, to beg him to make it okay. 

I heard him stride towards me, until he was standing right in front of me. I was holding on, trying so hard not to cry as I felt my throat tighten, as if I couldn't breathe. Ramon didn't say a single word to me as he simply wrapped his arms around me. 

I cried. 

I couldn't stop the tears, as he held on tightly. "He's gone and it's all my fault." I was crying so hard, the tears falling down, never stopping as the pain squeezed itself back inside of my heart. "I killed him, Ramon." 

The same fear grew inside of me again, twisting and turning around my heart, squeezing it tightly, suffocating me from the inside as I cried.  

It was all my fault. If I had stayed, I would have been here. He wouldn't have been dead. I would have killed Logan before he had the chance to step into the house. They were hiding from me, going through with their big plan just so they could destroy me. 

I was selfish. 

He knew I wouldn't ever join his gang so he retaliated and ripped my family from me. 

I was alone. 

"Amore." His voice was a soft whisper as he pulled away from me, and tilted my face up. "This is not your fault. Tell me who did it." He asked me softly, as he wiped the never ending tears from under my eyes. 

I watched him breathe, blink, sigh softly. I copied him, mimicked his action so I could breathe because there was a loud ringing in my mind which shut out everything for me. 

"I'm going to kill him." I whispered up to Ramon as he wiped my face with the back of his hand.

I was covered in blood, every drop reminded me that this was my fault. This was all my fault. 

"I'll do it. Tell me who it was, amore." I didn't answer. I couldn't say his name. "Logan?" He murmured the name to me and I nodded, the fear and anger inside of me entwining together. "You're the lightning devil." It wasn't a question, it was a statement that was filled with pride as he wrapped his arms around me. 

"I'll bring his head on a gold fucking plate for you."  His voice was a promise of death and violence, as he pulled away and wiped under my eyes with the back of his hand. "Let me clean you up?" He was asking for permission, not over stepping as I nodded slowly. 

Ramon held my hands, both of them, never letting me go as he walked backwards into the kitchen. 

My mind was spinning with images of moments with my dad that I had spent in this kitchen. Moments that were gone forever. 

Ramon walked me towards the sink and he placed my hands inside, while turning the water on. There was a plate of shepherd's pie besides the sink. 

"He hadn't eaten his food." I whispered to myself, and my mind was spinning so fast as the water swirled with the blood. He rubbed my hands gently, removing the blood that stained my soul. 

I couldn't go through it again. With my mom, I had my dad with me. We were together, healing the hole of pain together. We glued the broken pieces and were finally happy, no matter what he was going through. We were happy. 

I was alone. Utterly alone in the silence that seemed to laugh at me, taunt me for staying in this house that was scarred with his blood. 

He turned the water off. 

I watched him grab a towel as I leaned against the sink, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts that didn't make sense.  He wiped my now clean hands as I stared at them. 

It was still my fault. No matter how much of the blood I washed away, I could see it. There were dots of blood left on my hand and even if I scrubbed them away, they would always remain there, a reminder of his death. 

"I'm going to sort everything out." Ramon started to say to me as he moved closer to me. I watched him. "Amore, I'm going to find him for you and I'll bring him to you. I need you to get some rest though." He stretched his hand out, cupping my face gently. 

I looked into his eyes, the understanding gaze he was showing made me whisper, "I'm alone." 

It had been my birthday a day ago and I was left alone in this world now.

"I'm here." They were simple words as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me. He was safe. No matter what his name was, who he was, he made me feel safe. "I'm right here, amore and I'm not leaving." It was a promise as I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against him. 

I closed my eyes listening to his heartbeat as he whispered the same words over and over again. 

I'm never leaving. 

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This is my favourite chapter that I have ever wrote. The amount of times I've read this and shown it to people is ridiculous.

Question- You like this chapter as well, don't you?

Next update will be on Saturday, but I'll put up a sneak peek of it on Instagram! (Glitterxox1)