|18|

•Charlotte•

Today was a negative day for me. I could hardly get out of bed with the way my stomach laughed viciously and stabbed me continuously.

I pulled my shirt down before kneeling down on the ground in my room. Lifting the mattress up, I found one of my bags of money. I picked it up and placed the mattress down softly. The room door was shut since Mary was downstairs with dad. She didn't question at all why I was not going to school today. She didn't need to ask.

I opened the bag and pulled out a few hundred dollar bills and stuffed them in my purse that I grabbed from my bed. I was going out shopping today. I needed to buy a few things for dad and myself.

School would have started already but I was ignoring my phone that seemed to blow up with messages and calls. All from one person. Ramon.

I had texted Lizzie last night telling her to say I was ill but Ramon didn't seem to get the message as I picked up my phone and declined his call before putting it into my jeans pocket. I picked up my purse before heading out of the room.

"Are you going now?" Mary called out to me as she noticed me heading towards the door.

I nodded. "I'll get dad's medicine and bring some shopping on the way back." I told her and she nodded, smiling at me softly as she headed towards the living room where dad was sitting quietly, lost in thought.

I walked out of the house, the sun glaring down at me as I walked towards the taxi I had called in the morning.

Today was one of those days that I slept in. I didn't go to school and ditched it. Lizzie always understood, so did Mary. They never questioned me but I could feel my phone buzzing with messages as I sat inside the taxi and told the driver to take me to the cemetery.

Pulling out my phone, I read the messages.

I can't find you at school?

Did you save my number because this would be strange.

I'm waiting.

For a reply.

Amore. Why are you not here?

Did I do something wrong? I apologised for hitting the fucker. If you want me to get down on my knees, come to school and I'll do whatever you want.

Lizzie told me you're not feeling well. Can I come and see you? I make the best get well soon soup.

I'm bored in this class.

I'm working on the essay. Do you think I'll get something special if I do it all?

My special consists of you doing a certain thing...

Want me to demonstrate it for you? Give me your address and I'm there in a second.

I stopped reading the messages and put my phone back in my pocket as I stared out the window.

Why couldn't my mood reflect the weather? I wanted to feel happy because I was visiting mom. Today was the date she had died on. The day she had been ripped apart from our lives.

The taxi driver slowed down the car as we stopped outside the gate that would lead me into the cemetery. There was a three foot wall around the whole place, and I could see people standing in the cemetery.

I paid the taxi driver and got out of the car. The mall was close by, but I wanted to see my mom first. The car drove away as I walked towards the gate, my purse in my hand. I had no other bag other than my school bag which was a complete mess.

I needed to buy one.

Walking on the path that separated all the graves, I headed to the spot I knew blindly. I could see it from a mile away,the black stone surrounded by other grey stones. There were lights around her gravestone and dead flowers as I got closer.

It had been weeks since I last visited, busy with school and life that I couldn't come. I didn't bring any flowers, as I stood near her grave. I loweredly myself to the ground, kneeling in front of it as I opened my purse.

Mum was never a fan of flowers. She didn't like how they easily died if they were not taken care of properly. She had tried, so many times, to grow a garden for herself but it never went to plan.

I picked up the small black stones I had found in the dollar tree a few days ago and placed them on her grave with a smile on my face. "Hey mom."

My voice was soft as I kneeled on the ground besides her. "I'm sorry for being a little late." I apologised, sorting the stones out in shapes. "Dad has been good and I'm getting closer to the help he needs. I know you're watching us." A chuckle passed my lips as I leaned up and picked up the dead flower bouquet.

"Mary has been lovely." I started telling all about Mary's help and the way I couldn't have done anything without her. Talking felt like peace, it was like getting a big rock lifted from your heart that seemed to suffocate you with every second. There were days where I couldn't talk to Lizzie without having her worried constantly. I came here. To talk to my mom who I knew if she was alive, she would wrap her arms around me and tell me all would be okay.

I hadn't seen Cameron since yesterday and a part of me was worried for him. He had mentioned burying a sister and it didn't take a genius to know Logan had killed her. I had called out to him on the way back home but he simply walked away as if I never existed in his life.

My phone started to vibrate and I pulled it out of my pocket to see it was Ramon again.

Just one reply to tell me you're alive and breathing.

I smiled to myself as I texted him back with a simple message. I'm okay. I turned back to the grave, placing the phone in my pocket being very tempted to shut it off or put it on silent.

I couldn't though. Not if Mary needed me at home.

I sat besides the grave and talked for hours. People watched me, a small smile on their faces as they walked past me to meet their loved ones.

After death, everyone was loved. That's what everyone claimed. Lizzie never bothered to find out if her dad was breathing or not but she had said she would still visit his grave if he was dead. A part of her would always love him but the abandonment issue was raw, always clawing at her.

I was grateful in that sense, that my parents loved each other dearly, that they would have never left me alone. No matter how sick my dad was, he would constantly love me. There was nothing in this world that mattered more to me than getting the help my dad required. I was closer to it than ever but I was waiting for my birthday as well.

I needed to be 18 to take him to the private hospital. I was going to be his caretaker but I still had enough time to earn more money. The bruises on my face were still there but no longer sore.

I kissed my two fingers and placed them against the gravestone. "I'm going to go and get some stuff for dad now." I told mom as I stood up and wiped my jeans.

I picked up my purse and with a smile I walked away.

Shopping was my main priority today. I needed to get dad some new clothes along with his medicine from the pharmacy, then I needed to buy a new coat for myself because the one I have is too light and sometimes soaked my clothes on the rainy days. I wanted to buy Mary a gift as well for all her hard work, though she claimed she liked it. It made her feel better rather than sitting at home alone.

I walked out of the cemetery with a smile on my face. I felt at peace today.

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Question- Do you feel at peace with yourself?

Who wants a Ramon's pov next? (I might sneak in an update before monday since this one was short.)