Saturday was soon here and I had planned my day with Annabelle, Max and Kenny, three of the five Herrmann children. I've decided to take them to the zoo, then a picnics in the park and if they are both good then I'll buy them some sweets or ice cream but knowing me I'll probably get them both.

"Morning my love" I smiled to Hailey as I headed into the kitchen of the apartment, we were back in my apartment after spending two days at Hailey's. The pair of us have now left some clothes, a toothbrush and a few things we would need at each other's houses so we didn't need to keep going back and fourth.

"Good morning gorgeous" Hailey said coming and giving me a small kiss on the cheek

"What time do you have to be in work?" I asked Hailey while I opened the fridge and grabbed a carton of orange juice.

"10, what time are you picking Max, Kenny and Annabelle?" Hailey asked as I poured my drink.

"10, how about we go out for breakfast and I drop you off at the 21st?" I asked Hailey before bringing the glass of orange juice to my lips.

"Sure, we'll get dressed then head out" Hailey agreed with me and I smiled. Hailey went into my bedroom while I drank my drink. I rinsed my glass once I had drank it and then went to get dressed myself, I chose a pair of black jeans a tank top with my black denim jacket, it felt like a double denim day, I loved my denim jackets, I always have done. I decided to leave my hair down today so I simply brushed it. Once the pair of us were dressed we headed to a little diner down the street from my apartment 'Hall's Diner' it had opened only a few days ago, I've heard it's not the best place to go but I suggested it to Hailey and we both agreed not to judge the place before we have even tried it.

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"Well that was disappointing but I guess we should have guessed" hailey said which made me laugh slightly as Hailey and I headed to my car after paying the bill.

"I agree. Those pancakes were awful and the bacon god I really hope it wasn't out of date" I groaned, I was disappointed in the food and truely did hope the bacon was still in date, although I only had a bite but it really didn't taste right, we complained but the owners, they didn't want to know.

"If they give you food poisoning then we will report them to whoever we need to report them too" Hailey smiled towards me and I smiled.

"I love you Hailey Anne Upton" I practically whispered resting my head on her shoulder while we walked.

"I love you more Paige Cathrine Voight" Hailey said in a soft tone. I could tell she was smiling, just the thought of her being happy was enough to make me happy.

"Who's apartment are we staying at tonight?" I asked as I got into the car to take hailey to work.

"I don't mind as long as I'm with you" Hailey said smiling. I turned to look at her and also smiled, I never imagined I'd be this happy with someone and Hailey makes me happy every single day.

"I don't mind either, I'd be happy anyway as long as I'm being with you" I smiled happily, I ran a hand through my hair before starting the engine of the car. I pulled my seatbelt across myself an carefully looked in the rear view mirror to make sure it was safe to reverse out of the parking spot. For a short while their was silence in the car not the awkward type of silence but the comfortable type where you don't have to say anything at all but you are still happy with the company you are in...

Yeah that's the type of silence I have with Hailey and the type of silence that is just perfect when I'm with her. I let out a small sigh with a smile on my face.

"Life is crazy, but I know now I have you in my life. That you are beside me; helping me and supporting me. I can work it out, I can work it all out as long as I have you" I said to Hailey as we stopped at a red traffic light. It had to be said because it was the truth and I need Hailey to know that, especially right know when I think something might be wrong, It's probably just stress and the trauma I've been through but I've not got my period yet, I was due 4 days ago.. I know 4 days is 4 days but still I was worried. I wasn't going to think about it just yet as it could most definitely be because of stress.

"Where's this came from?" Hailey asked curiously, I could tell by the look she had on her face as I glanced over to her.

"Just wanted you to know, that's all" I said in a matter of fact tone. I wasn't you to bring up the fact I've not got my period yet but that's just because I could just come on today or even tomorrow but until then I was just not going to think about it again, I don't need to; not today when I'm spending the day with 3 children, when I'm probably going to think about my boy Harry more but it'll be worth it, I'll get to see the smiles on 3 incredible children and it'll just make everything better, I hope.

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I finally pulled up at the Herrmann household and Christopher answered the door.

"Hey kiddo, how are you doing?" Christopher asked giving me a hug before stepping out of the way and letting me in.

"I'm good thanks Christopher, excited for the day with the kids, I've got the day planned. How are you?" I asked happily while running a hand through my hair.

"They are excited to spend the day with you. Did Cindy tell you why I wanted to have the day with them? It's okay if she did" I said to Herrmann who smiled.

"She told me about your son, she also told me why you don't talk about him and that's fine Paige. You did what you had to do to give that boy a good life. You know you'll be an amazing mom when you think it's time, weather you adopt, ivf or have a surrogate you Paige you will be an amazing mother" Herrmann said

"Thanks, I hope I'm as good as my mom was, as good as Cindy is because trust me, Cindy is a really good mom to your children." I said nodding, I was happy but I did want to be a mother, I know I want to be a mother now, I would be able to give the baby a good life if I had one now

"You will be Paige. Your smart, caring, loving, I could go on but I'm sure you won't want me to" Christopher said smiling

"Thank you Herrmann' thank you for everything. You and Cindy are both like a second set of parents to me. After my mom died I wanted someone to look up to like a mom, not that I was replacing my mom, I'd never do that and she knows that but Cindy helped me like a lot, I've been able to talk to her when I've not wanted to talk to Elle and well Cindy has given me so much advice; I truely can't thank her enough for that and you, you've taught me a lot, from my first day at 51 all the way until now, you've taught me how to be an amazing firefighter; you still teach me how to be a good firefighter, thank you" i said softly, Christopher was only a tiny bit taller than me dispite that he always gave the best comforting hugs.

"You don't have to thank me for any of that. I don't care if you aren't biological my daughter but you are my daughter anyway, you always will be. I know Annabelle looks up to you" Christopher said back to me and I smiled. I was honoured to have Cindy and Christopher's only daughter look up to me, I hoped to be a good role model for the youngster.

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"Now who's ready to see the animals" I asked Max, Annabelle and Kenny once we arrived in the parking lot or the Lincoln Park Zoo. I had the children's car seats in the back of the car, or actually two of them in the back and one in the front, I told Max and Annabelle they could swap on the way to the store to buy snacks for the picnic, max had sat in the front on the way to the zoo

"Meee!" The three kids cheered in unison. I smiled happily as I got out of the car before getting Kenny's pushchair from the trunk of the car, I had it in case Kenny didn't want to walk which apparently happens more than you'd think, Cindy told me that. I got Annabelle and Max out of the car first and told them to stay by the car, I didn't want anything to happen to them when they were in my care.

"Right mr Kenny, do you want to go in your chair?" I asked Kenny giving him the option to walk, he chose the pushchair but I knew he might get out when we are in the zoo. I put my bag onto the handles before walking to the pavement with the three kids.

"I have two rule today. You have to be good and no running off." I said to the three children who all nodded. I let Annabelle and max walk beside me without holding the pushchair and surprisingly they walked nicely, I knew they could be a handful, I've witnessed them misbehaving and not doing what they are asked so I wasn't going to hold my breath that it would stay like this all day.

"Your okay Paige! You've got to be" I told myself as I felt myself worrying, I hadn't been out on my own since before the whole thing with Thomas and I know I'm not exactly alone I'm with children but it's not like they would be able to protect me if anything happened... I know Thomas is locked up, he's not been given bail but I was still scared.

"Breath" I thought to myself to stop myself from having a panic attack which I knew for sure I would have if I didn't calm myself down right now.

"Can we go toilet first, please?" Annabelle asked.

"Of course we can Annabelle, and then who wants donuts?" I asked grinning happily, I remembered the donuts from here were heavenly, they were delicious. It wasn't too early so it seemed like a good time for donuts.

"Yesss please!!" Max and Annabelle said politely. I got out admission to the zoo then room the children to the toilets.

"Now when I'm in the toilet you don't talk to anyone, you stay outside the toilet and don't move" I warned the three children giving them set instructions because I didn't want them  to run off or strangers to think they've been abandoned.

"Okay Paige" they answered as we made our way into the toilets. I held the door for Annabelle and told Max to try to go before we went to see the animals. Once the children had used the toilet I went myself before washing my hands and making sure the children had washed theirs too.. we then headed out and began seeing the animals. Seeing the three children happy was something I loved, they looked genuinely happy and I was glad they were having a good day.

"Snow Leopards!!" Annabelle almost screamed in excitement, I let out a small laugh as I remembered when mom used to take me and my siblings to the zoo. I always loved snow leopards.

"Are then your favourite animal then?" I asked seeing Annabelle was really excited

"I love them" she grinned happily.

"So do I. Always have done" I paused before looking at Max and Kenny

"What's your favourite animals?" I asked the two boys.

"Red panda!!" Max grinned happily

"Bear" Kenny said and I smiled, I was going to get them a stuffed animal before we leave, if they don't have one of the kids favourite animals they can choose a different stuffed animal.

"How about before we go to the store for some picnic food, we get you three a stuffed animal which represent your favourite animal? How does that sound?" I asked the children.

"Thank you Paige" Kenny smiled.

"Thank you GeeGee" Max grinned, I hated that nickname but I couldn't stay mad at Max, actually I couldn't be mad at any of the children If they were to call me GeeGee

"Thank you Paige" Annabelle then smiled.

"Do you think we should take a picture of you three for your mom and dad?" I asked the children, they wanted some pictures taken so I took some.

"Would you take a picture with me?" Annabelle asked smiling happily

"Come on then" I smiled and took a couple of selfie's with the younger girl and smiled. I was mentally reminding myself to send them to Christopher and Cindy later.

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Once I had brought the three stuffed animals for the children we headed to the car and then headed to the store. Kenny wanted to walk so I let him but made sure he held my hands we got some snacks which consisted of healthy and some not so healthy foods. I also told the three of them they can pick out one piece of candy or chocolate.

"Can I get Sour Patch Kids please?" Annabelle asked while we stood in tbe candy isle. I let her have them while Max chose Skittles and Kenny chose M&Ms. i also got myself some sour patch kids. The three of us finished getting our picnic foods before checking out and then heading to the park. I left our candy in the car once I parked near to the park.

"No running off out of my sight." I warned Max and Annabelle while Kenny was walking beside me and I was also carrying our picnic basket. The two children we're running and I didn't want them out of my sight, they aren't my children and I would feel terribly guilty if something happened.

"Okay Paige!" Annabelle and Mac said simultaneously. Kenny was laughing happily at who knows what but his laughter made me realise I do want to have my own child one day, obviously I've had Harry but I gave him up. All of a sudden Kenny wasn't on his feet any more, he was on the ground crying. I crouched down and saw he only had grazes.

"I know it hurts kiddo. Can I have a look?" I asked Kenny wanting to make sure he hadn't broken his wrist or to make sure that his knees were only grazed. Kenny let me look at his knees and I had declared that nothing was broken.

"Are you okay?" I then asked Kenny in a soft tone.

"Yes" he answered, I helped him to his feet and he hugged me. I gently rubbed the kids back and smiled. I looked up and had a scare when I couldn't see Max or Annabelle.

"Max! Annabelle!" I called scared something had happened to them. What would i tell Cindy and Christopher if I had lost their children. They would never trust me again.

"Come on! This isn't funny!" I called out. They couldn't have gotten too far but I was still worried, as I picked Kenny up and the basket I then began searching for the two children. I ran towards the café that was centered in the park and sighed a small sigh of relief when I found the two children giggling as they hid behind the wall.

"You two shouldn't have ran off. I told you not to leave my sight. You had me really worried. What would I have told your parents if something had happened to you two?" I said trying to stay calm.

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I knocked on the front door of the Herrmann house hold at 5:10pm. We got stuck in traffic on the way their so we happened to be 10 minutes later than we should.

"Sorry we're late back, we got stuck in traffic and my phone died. I didn't want you to worry, I would have called" I apologised to Cindy who answered the door.

"It's fine Paige, did you guys have a good day?" Cindy asked. The three children nodded happily.

"You staying for dinner?" Cindy asked me

"I wouldn't want to intrude" I said biting my lip.

"Don't be silly, come in" Cindy said so I agreed.

"Kenny fell over when we were in the park, I checked him out, just in case he broke he arm, he will have grazes on his knees but everything else seemed fine. And I did have a little incident with Max and Annabelle" I paused

"When I was checking Kenny to make sure badly hurt they ran off. I had told them not to run off and make sure they were in my sight at all time but they ran off, they ended up behind the cafe in the park. I was scared to tell you and Chris' because I took my eyes off them and it's my fault" I said all in one breath as I panicked. I was terrified Cindy would be angry.

"I'll have a word with them. It's not your fault Paige." Cindy reassured me and I thanked her.

"Thank you for a good day Paige" Anna Elle said smiling. We had spaghetti for dinner and I thanked Cindy and Christopher for having me for dinner. My first day out on my own seemed to have been both good and bad but it was the first day in my actual recovery, mentally that is.