Have you ever wondered how to figure out your own mind? How one moment you seem to be fine but then the next all the memories come flooding back to you? I would love to know how to figure out my mind right now. After the drink with Hailey the other night I've had this really weird feeling like someone is watching my every move. I swear I've seen Thomas outside my apartment once or twice; I mean it could me my own brain deciding to trick me.

Are you coming to help out in intelligence today? X

I read the text message on my phone from Elle, I hadn't left the house since meeting Hailey but when I woke up this morning I thought differently, I decided that I was going to go out, I was going to help out today and push myself to feel better because I have to feel better, I have to focus on life again and not the past; I know that is easier said than done but I had to do this.

Yeah, I'll be there about 10ish. Do you want a coffee? I'll pop by Layla's café that we all like xx

I replied to Elle before tossing my phone onto my bed before I opened my curtains and looked out of the window. After a moment I turned around and got my outfit for the day sorted, I decided on my black dungarees which I paired with a purple jumper some white ankle socks and I was still deciding on what shoes to wear

Once I had my outfit sorted I took it all into the bathroom and turned my shower on and let the water heat up while I striped from my pyjamas and tossed them into the laundry basket. I stuck my hand under the shower and let out a sigh, the water wasn't even heating up.

"Oh come on!" I practically cried out, surely the water was going to actually heat up.

"For crying out loud! I reported this problem months ago" I groaned, I had problems with the water back in June, my landlord 'sorted' it out, I thought he had done too but if he sorted it out then why is it being a piece of shit now.

"Looks like I'm not showering now" I sighed turning the shower off and getting myself dressed. I really needed to shower since I had been lazy thinking that i didn't need to the last day because I wasn't going out which meant I wasn't going to see anyone.

"I guess I'll ask dad or Elle and Jay if I can use their showers" I thought to myself, I knew either of them would let me.. I packed my shampoo, conditioner and shower jel into my duffel bag and added a change of clothes and my ambo hoodie since I would be needing that for the time being as chief Boden asked if I could cover ambo 61 until we can get someone to permanently cover Emily, I wasn't aware she had left to go to medical school. I shoved a pair of pyjamas into my bag in case I ask to stay at dads tonight. I don't fancy driving home in the dark.

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At 9am I made my way out of my apartment and to my car. That was until I was stopped in my tracks by Thomas Wild.

"What do you want Thomas!" I practically growled as I felt like my heart was going to break through my chest, I knew I was going to panic, I was going to end up in a right mess if I didn't deal with Thomas for good.

"Can't I come and see my friend now?" Thomas smirked, I shook my head.

"I told you to stay away from me Thomas! I don't want you in my life. You almost ruined my life and I wish you rotted in prison, I wish you were never released because you deserved to rot! Now leave me alone, stop following me because I know you have been and stay away from my family, my friends! Stay away from me" I said folding my arms in annoyance

"Oh come on Paigey! You know you want me, you know you enjoyed the at night, you just felt guilty. That's why you did what you did. We need to do it again one night, soon" Thomas smirked as he stepped closer to me, I stood my ground, I wasn't going to show him that I was bothered, I had to stay strong.

"I did not want to have sex with you back then and I DON'T want to have sex with you now. I am gay! I like girls I would never want to have sex with a man and that means you!" I said glaring at Thomas.

"Oh come on baby, you know you don't mean that" Thomas said as he once again stepped closer to me.

"Paige, are you okay?" My neighbour David asked as he started to walk up the path towards me.

"Hi David. Yeah I'm good" I lied to my neighbour who looked at me with a concerned look on his face, David has been my neighbour for a few years now and he was the kindest person I've ever came across, he often invites me over to his place with his husband Jamie, it's blatantly obvious they are gay but they are cool.

"Is that your boyfriend!" Thomas said sounding angry.

"I'm gay Thomas! I like girls. David and his HUSBAND are my neighbours and friends, not that it has anything to do with you no please leave me alone before I call my dad and sister." I said folding my arms as David stops a few steps behind me, I can tell he's worried and he knows how to handle himself, he owns his own gym and used to train as a boxer.

"You heard her! Leave!" David's voice came out strong and forceful, something I wasn't achieving. I turned around and mouthed thank you to the slightly older man who smiled.

"Alright I'm leaving, but I'll see you around" Thomas smiled as he tried to act all innocent. Once Thomas had left I let out a breath I seemed to be holding.

"Who was that?" David asked as he gently placed a hand on my shoulder

"Someone from school, nobody important" i said with a shrug and David nodded.

"Well if he bothers you again send him my way, I'd gladly challenge him to a few rounds in the ring" David smiled

"You would win big time" i said with a small laugh.

"You know it" David laughed

"Your on shift tomorrow right?" David then asked changing the subject.

"Yeah, why?" I replied giving my neighbour a confused look.

"Friday evening, do you fancy coming round for dinner. I know Jamie would love to see you, the three of us could have a catch up." David suggested, I liked the sound of that.

"Yeah, I'd like that, let me know what time and I'll bring beers and tequila" I grinned, Jamie's drink is tequila, David's is beer and mine, well mine varies at the moment it's both beer and tequila bit sometimes it's vodka and coke.

"I'll drop you a text" David then said and I nodded. I said my goodbyes and quickly gave my neighbour a hug, we always do this. I climbed into my car and then started my journey to the Layla's cafe to pick up coffee.

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Finally I made it to the 21st, i'd brought coffee's for everyone and they were on the seat as I parked outside the building. I then got out the car and shut the drivers side door before going round to the other side of the car and opening the passenger door to get the drinks out, carefully shut the door without spilling the drinks before locking the door and heading inside.

"Hey Trudy" I said with a smile once I had approached the front desk, I placed the drinks down and found hers which I got named before giving it to her, she didn't know I was getting her a drink so she did look surprised.

"I was buying everyone upstairs drinks so I got you your usual latte from Layla's" I smiled to Trudy.

"Thank you Paige, you didn't have to" Trudy answered

"It's fine. I wasn't going to leave you out now was I" I said in a matter of fact tone

"I'll buzz you up" Trudy said and I thanked her before heading up the stairs. I carefully opened the gate so I didn't spill the drinks.

"Drinks are served" I smirked once I got upstairs when nobody was looking. I placed the carriers onto Kim's desk.

"All drinks are named" I said to everyone, they came  over to the desk to get their drinks. While everyone was on their way over I picked mine and dads drink up and headed to the office. I knocked on the door and dad smiled.

"Hey Kiddo, how are you?" Dad asked as I entered his office

"Could be better, I need to phone my landlord because I have no hot water" I sighed

"Would it be okay if I come over tonight and shower and just crash in the spare room tonight?" I asked dad as I sat in the chair opposite him after I placed his coffee on the table.

"You know that would be okay, your always welcome at home" dad smiled towards me, he looked concerned about me or maybe it was a worried look, whatever it was I shrugged it off.

"I don't fancy driving home with wet hair, knowing my luck if I drive home after showering with wet hair and it being night time I'll get sick, I have my things in my trunk" I said to dad who nodded.

"You'd always get sick if you showered before going out at night" dad laughed a little at my weird look.

"It's strange, I can come out in the morning once I've showered as long as I blow dry my hair before I leave but I'm too lazy and sometimes forget" I laughed and dad laughed.

"You did that in high school, you showered on a winters morning, it started snowing when you were on the way to school and you ended up with Pneumonia after you were really unwell, you had to stay in hospital for some time too, you wouldn't sleep without me coming to hug you" dad reminded me. I remembered that, I got a chest infection which then turned out to be Pneumonia and I was just a mess.

"Worst mistake of my life. My chest hurt so much, I felt like i had coughed so much I could have broken my ribs" I laughed a little as I remembered back when I was 14, it was November and I didn't think I was going to get as sick as I did, it wasn't snowing when I left for school, I was biking and then when I got not even half way to school it started to snow.

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6:30pm soon came round and I headed to dads, Olivia was staying round Ethan's tonight and dad wasn't going to be home until 8 so I technically had the place to myself until he got home but I was going to shower and just relax until dad gets home, i was ordering us some pizza when he tells me when he's on his way home. For the first time in a while I have felt at peace, although the morning started off horribly with Thomas showing up outside my apartment block and my hot water not working but I have to admit, today has been a good day and maybe I was actually on the path to move on once again, that was just a Maybe because I wasn't sure if I was moving on again but I just hoped I would because I need to be myself once again.